Don't Let The Old Man In

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, Pod O'Sullivan sits down with family and separation specialists Naomi Cao and Dr Marcelle Moore to unpack how to best split with your partner to prioritise the kids' wellbeing.

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

03:20 Marcelle's work with families

07:30 Is separation itself harmful to children?

12:39 When children choose a parent and how to keep showing up

17:18 Helping children feel at home in two homes

20:57 Asking for a Friend – Our New Segment!

22:49 Planning the first conversation with children

27:19 Explaining a new relationship without burdening children

31:05 What to share, and when, after separation

39:36 Sitting in the yuck: validate feelings before teaching

44:40 Parents’ own grief, family history, and emotional triggers

53:09 Making new traditions

59:16 Shared celebrations, rejection, and meaningful traditions

01:02:18 Keeping the child at the center when co-parenting is difficult

01:06:18 Listener questions

01:14:14 Final words of wisdom

#divorce #separation #midlifecrisis

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with author and hospice medical director Dr Jordan Grumet to discuss what we get wrong about finding purpose, how to discover the difference between purpose and meaning, and what steps to take to build yours.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 - Intro

02:05 - Meaning vs Purpose

05:12 - Big P vs Little P Purpose

06:52 - Purpose Anchors: how to find them

11:58 - The Rosebud Effect: How old stories hold you back

24:25 - Pivoting careers in midlife

31:14 - The "once I have" syndrome

39:02 - How to integrate passion into work without quitting everything

44:55 - What hospice teaches about regret and a good death

52:35 - Purpose is simple, easy and abundant

56:05 - Final words of wisdom

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Read The Purpose Code: https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Code-meaning-maximize-happiness/dp/1804090859

Find Dr Jordan's Substack: https://www.earnandinvest.com/

#midlife #purpose #findingpurpose

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with brain health expert Dr Helena Popovic to uncover what reduces the risk of dementia, the signs to look out for, and how to take or cognitive health into our own hands.

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Learn more about Dr Helena's work here: https://drhelenapopovic.com/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

02:42 Her father's diagnosis and what it taught her

04:39 What dementia actually is

05:43 Early symptoms vs normal forgetting

07:41 The reversible causes doctors miss

11:30 Why dementia is more common in women

18:40 Risk factors for men — and blood pressure

26:00 Your beliefs about ageing predict your fate

31:21 How your brain changes at 40

34:16 Neuroplasticity explained

39:12 Awe, novelty and travel

45:50 Social connection and relationships

46:56 Why strength training is the key

54:15 Why brain health isn't common knowledge

59:12 Dr Helena's final advice

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with Paul Drayton (author of Ride – Or Die Trying) to dive into his ADHD diagnosis in midlife, his struggles with alcohol addiction, and coming to grips with his neurodivergence gave him purpose in the second half of life.

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Read Ride – Or Die Trying: https://www.amazon.com.au/Ride-Trying-before-during-laughter/dp/1918428441

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

01:50 Pleasing Others and the Influence of Family

04:14 Discovering ADHD Later in Life

07:25 The Diagnosis and Its Impact

12:59 Overwhelm and Self-Medication with Alcohol

17:24 Realizing There's No Trauma, Just ADHD

21:03 Managing Benders and Guilt

25:09 Moving Forward and Personal Growth

37:09 Reflecting on Life and Future Goals

42:34 Love Yourself to Manage Challenges

44:52 Final Thoughts and Advice for Listeners

#sobriety #adhd #midlife

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with entrepreneur and author Steve Pratt about how selling his business drove him to find his purpose after 50, which he found by running midlife experiments.

We discuss what he's tried, how its helped him and why you should try them yourself.

Read Steve Pratt's substack: https://thecreativityguild.substack.com/

Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

01:41 The “Lego Businessman” identity

05:38 Fitting in versus standing out

09:48 Selling the business and facing the messy middle

13:20 Letting go of scoreboards, wearables, and optimization

21:35 Exploring ketamine-assisted therapy

29:44 Doing stand-up comedy with his daughter

33:50 Taking a break from the phone—and Wordle

36:46 Sharing a vulnerable journey with family

41:03 The cost of personal experiments

43:16 Becoming fully yourself

46:13 One experiment to start tomorrow

49:52 What Steve would tell his 25-year-old self

Don't Let the Old Man In does not condone the use of illegal drugs.

#findingpurpose #trynewthings #midlife

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with behavioural scientist Nicholas Epley, to unpack why social connection is so important for overall happiness, how to make new friends in midlife, and why men shouldn't fear striking up a chat with strangers.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

02:30 Research on talking to strangers

05:21 The train ride realisation

11:00 Personality, expectations, and social interaction

15:54 Approaching VS Avoiding

20:42 Experiments on talking to strangers during commutes

24:05 The role of voice in communication and understanding

34:07 Making friends in midlife and the power of warmth

41:55 Belonging, competence, and human needs

47:51 Lessons from Nick's daughter

51:53 Final tips: When in doubt, reach out

Get A Little More Social: https://www.amazon.com.au/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540

Subscribe to our newsletter for more DLTOMI: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/

#midlife #socialanxiety #midlifecrisis

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with Ian Westmoreland, a successful IT worker who left it all behind at age 59 to pursue a second half of purpose and fulfilment. We discuss what drove him to make a change, men's mental health, the honour of being awarded an Order of Australia Medal, and much more.

Learn about Mentoring Men: https://www.mentoringmen.org.au/about

Find out about Kintsugi Heroes: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/

Subscribe to our newsletter for more DLTOMI: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction to Ian's Life and Transformation

01:19 The Message That Changed Ian's Life

12:11 The Power of Listening and Being Heard

20:41 The Metaphor of Kintsugi in Healing

24:32 Connecting Through Culture and Stories

36:00 The Impact of Vulnerability and Emotional Openness

37:09 The Work of Kintsugi Heroes and Storytelling

44:55 Reflections on Success, Love, and Life's Purpose

48:47 Final Thoughts and Advice

#midlife #findingpurpose #mensmentalhealth

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with Dr Kathryn Page (organisational psychologist and author of Good Work) to understand what is draining our energy in the workplace, why burnout looks different in men, and the importance of maintaining identity outside of our work.

Learn more about Dr Kat Page's book here: https://www.drkatpage.com/about-4

Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction to the episode and guest

02:17 Growing up in a police family and its influence

07:45 Work to live versus live to work

14:56 The concept of the third space and its significance

25:42 The effort recovery framework explained

42:23 Languishing versus flourishing and how to move forward

01:02:20 Final thoughts and message for future generations

#burnout #psychology #midlife

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with Mark Beretta (Sunrise TV Presenter and ambassador for the Butterfly Foundation) about young men's mental health today, how eating disorders are underdiscussed in society, and how he's reinvented himself throughout his life.

Learn more about the Butterfly Foundation: https://butterfly.org.au/

Subscribe to our newsletter for more DLTOMI: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

02:04 Early life, water skiing, and family memories

04:19 Lessons from sport and its role in personal development

06:36 Career in television and the evolution of Sunrise

10:30 Caring for aging parents

19:28 Eating disorders: what dads need to know

32:47 Reinvention and following passions in midlife

42:24 Involvement in the Australian reserves and service to country

48:24 The importance of friendships and social connections

52:43 Reflections on life, aging, and legacy

#eatingdisorders #midlife #parentingtips

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In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with sobriety coach Sarah Rusbatch to understand grey area drinking, how our relationship to alcohol can change in midlife, and the simple way to determine the tradeoffs we do and don't want to make for alcohol.

Learn more about Sarah's work here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/

Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

02:05 What is Grey Area Drinking

04:06 Early experiences with alcohol

06:19 Transition from social drinking to career-driven drinking

08:16 Moving to Australia and using alcohol to fill voids

13:50 The slow decline into problematic drinking

17:32 The moment of decision to quit alcohol

24:21 Why moderation is often not an option

32:49 Defining Grey Area Drinking and its challenges

37:43 Tools and strategies for quitting alcohol

45:02 The benefits of sobriety and life transformation

01:00:18 Looking ahead: aging and living alcohol-free

01:01:28 Advice for starting the conversation about alcohol with loved ones

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