Would the Real James Bond Please Step Forward? (Pod Steps to Bond’s Foot)

You walk in a room. A woman can feel the heat. One look is guaranteed that nights could be long and sweet. The message is clear like nothing I’ve ever known, but the more that I hear I forget about the long-range plans ‘cause this man’s got his own. To get mixed up with a man who says never may be big trouble, but then I just could be the woman to take you and make you never say never again.

DoubleBroSeven walks in a room. The women can’t feel a thing. One look is guaranteed that nights could be dull and cheap. The message is clear…nothing is all we’ve ever known. The more that you hear, you try and make long-range plans to get away from this pod’s own. To get mixed up with the men who know nothing may be big trouble, but then we just could be the pod to take you and make you say “never again.”

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Lyrics from: Lani Hall

Intro & Outro themes: Goldeneye 64 midi files

You’re Bond, James Bond, 007, and licensed to kill. This is the game you know best. It’s time to even the odds and see what this car can do. Damn, you think to yourself as you reach for the armrest, next time I take a car from Q branch I really should listen to Q.

We’re Bros, DoubleBroSeven, and licensed to chill. This is the game we know least. It’s time to even the odds and see if we can get past move two. Damn, we think to ourselves as we’re put to the spy test, next time we play a game from the 80s we really should go to gameFAQs

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Quotes from: The Connery Classics 007 VHS back of box description

Intro & Outro themes: Goldeneye 64 midi files

Goldeneye 64 Soundfont by Punk7890/Trevor/mesnoi

Composed by: Johnny Thunder The Revenger, Sean Ryan (zmg88), Alejandro Schmid

Pod That Glitters is Definitely Goldfinger

“Sean Connery as Agent 007 takes on ‘the man with the Midas touch,’ billionaire Auric Goldfinger in this explosive and extremely witty James Bond thriller. The monomaniacal Goldfinger plants to throw the western world economy into a tailspin…The movie boasts such memorable characters as pilot Pussy Galore and Asian hatchet man, Oddjob, who suffocates one lovely lady by coating her body with gold paint, and another by breaking her neck with a steel-brimmed hat that he tosses like a spinning discuss of death. And there’s Goldfinger himself, a pudgy utterly ruthless villain…”

DoubleBroSeven takes on “the man with the slightest touch” anti-billionaire Davy, heavy plosives, deserves extreme pity. Man on man, I tackle Davy’s plans to throw DoubleBroSeven into a tailspin…The podcast boasts such memorable moments as pilot Pussy Galore making Zach blush & a zen hat trick man, Oddjob, who suffocates a lady BEFORE coating her body with gold pain and another by breaking…hey wait. Can we talk about how much of the plot they’re giving away? And calling Goldfinger pudgy is a bit uncalled for, isn’t it? To the writer of the back of box description on the VHS, I’m sorry you were having a bad day.

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Quotes from: The Connery Classics 007 VHS back of box description

Intro & Outro themes, I don’t remember, just look up Goldeneye 64 midi files

The World’s Masters of Murder Pull Out All the Stops to Destroy DoubleBroSeven

“Gorgeous Soviet Embassy cipher clerk ensnares incorruptible British Secret Service Agent 007 in a scheme to steal the Russians’ deciding machine. In 1987, life echoed suspiciously close to this ‘lurid fiction’ as a beautiful Russian translator and a US marine at the American Embassy in Moscow made ‘Sex and Spy Scandal’ headline around the world.”

Whatever American imbeciles sigh for Robert Shaw and jerks like incorruptible James Bond in an episode you’ll need to steal a Russian decoding machine to understand. In 2025, life echoes suspiciously far from the “lurid fiction” as a…wait a second. Why is this on the back of the FRWL VHS box? Kinda weird, dude.

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Quotes from: The Connery Classics 007 VHS back of box description

Intro & Outro themes, I don’t remember, just look up Goldeneye 64 midi files

No Pod Comes Close to James Bond, 007

“Roger Moore stars in this taut, fast-paced thriller set in the Greek underworld. Included, of course, are the spectacular stunts, stunning women and wry humor that is the essence of the James Bond legacy. The title song, sung by Sheena Easton, won an Academy Award!

From a hair-raising chase down a Cortina bobsled run to a ferocious underwater battle in spy-tech vehicles, to a breathtaking climb up a sheer rock wall that leaves James dangling on the end of a rope. For Your Eyes Only is swift, slick, suspenseful adventure.”

DoubleBroSeven star in this tart, fast-talking time killer. Included, of course, are the spectacular dunces, numbing indecision and wry…that is the essence of DoubleBroSeven legacy. The title song won an Academy Award, but not the hearts of DBS

From hair-losing traits, to underwater-level slow battles about spy-tech vehicles, to breathtaking descents to sheer rock bottom that leaves DoubleBroSeven dangling on the end of a rope.

DoubleBroSeven is still, sick, sus, penceless misadventure.

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Quotes from: The Moore Classics 007 VHS back of box description

Intro & Outro themes, I don’t remember, just look up Goldeneye 64 midi files

From Atari to the Gameboy, the SG-1000 to the SNES, DoubleBroSeven takes on their greatest challenge yet. The bros might have been able to make a coherent episode, unfortunately….

A search party descends upon them. They attempt to get away, but a shower of bullets forces them to surrender. M.I.6 arranges their release, but they’ve caused the chief great embarrassment.

Mission terminated.

Would you like to play again?

Instagram: @kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Music from Operation Stealth by Jean Baudlot

Intro & Outro themes: I don’t remember…midi files I downloaded like five years ago + James Bond 007 Atari 2600 theme & Operation Stealth

0010 Die Another Day

Pod’s Never Been Cooler

Kyle - Magnificent film.

Thomas - It is, isn’t it?

Zach - Too bad it’s lost on me.

K - Mojito? You should try it.

Z - Zachary Harris. My friends call me Zach.

T - My friends call me Thomas

K - Zach, you say.

Z - Born in November!

T - Do you believe in bad luck?

Z - I believe in a reasonable rate of return.

K - That’s the wrong film, Zach.

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Intro & Outro themes, I don’t remember, just look up Goldeneye 64 midi files

009 Casino Royale

*editors note: I’ve edited the 8 minutes of silence from the end of this episode, yet it remains in the uploaded version. I blame agent Carter.

Every Pod Has a Cast. Every Legend Has a Beginning.

CASINO ROYALE introduces JAMES BOND before he holds his licence to kill. No less dangerous, and with two professional assassinations in quick succession, Bond is elevated to "00" status. When Bond is placed under the watchful eye of the treasury official Vesper Lynd, his initial skepticism of her turns into a deepening interest as Le Chiffre's cunning and cruelty come to bear on them both in a way Bond could never imagine, and he learns his most important lesson: Trust no one.

Casino Royale introduces DoubleBroSeven to a Bond before they had their literal licenses to drive. No more intelligent than they were in 2006, each with two unprofessional asses with them, DoubleBroSeven now have a total of “00” brain cells. Under the inscrutable eyes of (1/3rd of) DoubleBroSeven, Vesper Lynd faces criticism & we search for the deep interests within Herr Mendel’s devastatingly honest & vigorously rousing performance. Reminder of DoubleBroSeven’s most important lesson: Trust no one because we don’t know anything.

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Quotes from “The Daniel Craig Collection” 4K back-of-box description

Intro & Outro themes, I don’t remember, just look up Goldeneye 64 midi files

008 The Man With the Golden Gun

*Editor’s note: Thomas moved to an island & we’re in the process of figuring out his audio. Apologies for how Thomas sounds…& how we all sound, but I can’t blame the mics for that.*

Glittering suspense…deadly devices…24 karat podcasting!

Roger Moore, as James Bond, searches for the man with the golden gun in this ninth glittering 007 spy classic. Joining him in the all-star cast is Britt Ecklund, Maud Adams, Herve Villechaize & Christopher Lee.

The fantastic sets of production designer Peter Lamont are some of the most ambitious found in any Bond film. These sets, and the extraordinary location photography of academy award winning cinematographer Ted Moore, create a magnificently entertaining 007 adventure.

Zach, Kyle & Thomas, as DoubleBroSeven search for a way to record in this 8th dulling “podcast” “classic.”

Annoying them are the all-star characters Mary Goodnight, James Bond, JW. Thrilling them are Nick Nack, Scaramanga, & of course, Lt. Hip.

The droning debates over production taking place in Thailand or Hong Kong are the most extraordinary waste of time, just look it up, conversations they should hand awards over to. DoubleBroSeven create a magnificently mediocre 007 episode.

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Quotes from “The James Bond 007 Collection” VHS back-of-box description

Intro & Outro themes, I don’t remember, just look up Goldeneye 64 midi files

007 Diamonds Are Forever

The Pod That Made James Bond a Household Name

Diamonds are forever…is Bond?

“A fortune in diamonds brings Sean Connery back to the screen for his sixth spy-thriller. Director Guy Hamilton makes Connery’s return (after four years) memorable with fantastic sets, gorgeous co-stars, and one of the most exciting car chase scenes ever filmed!

Academy Award ®️- winning cinematographer Ted Moore expertly films the movie’s explosive, fiery, and satisfying climax!”

No fortune in podcasting brings DoubleBroSeven back to the mics for their seventh Bond spy-thriller. The guys ham it up making their return immemorable with bombastic jests, awarded no stars, and one of the least exciting talks about a car chase ever recorded!

Academy Award ceremony watching cinematographer Zach amateurly disses the movie's explosive, fiery, bone-breaking climax!

Instagram: @Kedwardharris

Email: [email protected]

Quotes from the CBS/FOX VHS back-of-box description

Intro & Outro themes, I don’t remember, just look up Goldeneye 64 midi files