Doug Reads With Friends

In this episode of Doug Reads with Friends, I’m joined by my longtime friend and former colleague Hazel Raja. We first met in 2013 when she interviewed me to join NYU Abu Dhabi, and over the years we became not just colleagues, but close friends. In this conversation, we reflect on what it means to build real relationships at work, the blurred lines between being a boss and a friend, and how those relationships can shape us long after we’ve moved on.

Hazel shares her perspective on leadership and career development, including her belief in seeing and supporting the “whole person”—not just the job they do. We also talk about her transition from life in Abu Dhabi to suburban California, what she misses about living abroad, and how becoming a parent has changed the way she thinks about work, time, and presence.

We then turn to the book she chose, This American Woman by Zarna Garg—a funny, candid memoir that opens up deeper conversations about culture, identity, ambition, and the different ways success is defined in American and Indian contexts. We explore how we each experienced the book from our own perspectives, and what it reveals about career paths, family expectations, and gratitude.

As always, the book is just the starting point. This episode is really about friendship, growth, and the stories that shape who we become.

00:00 – Introduction: Friendship First, Book Second
01:54 – Bosses, Boundaries & Blurred Lines
06:00 – Leading the Whole Person
10:38 – Why This Work Matters
13:13 – Abu Dhabi vs Suburban Life
15:58 – Parenting, Presence & Phones
20:53 – The Book: This American Woman
23:12 – Culture, Ambition & Career Paths
27:14 – Humor, Hardship & Perspective
39:26 – Looking Ahead

In the next episode, I’ll be joined by Dr. Lana Mahgoub, one of the members of the Posse I mentored while at Grinnell College. Lana has chosen the novel Culpability by Bruce Holsinger—a compelling, fast-paced story full of secrets and difficult questions. I hope you’ll consider picking up a copy and reading along before that conversation drops.

Music for Doug Reads with Friends by my friend Eiren Caffall. You can find her work on Spotify—please give it a listen and support her music.

What does it take to build a country?

Doug sits down with Ope Awe—Watson Fellow, Schwarzman Scholar, JD/MBA, and one of the most remarkable former students he’s ever worked with—for a conversation about entrepreneurship, governance, and economic development.

They begin with Ope’s journey across South Korea, Brazil, Indonesia, Rwanda, and China, and how those experiences shaped her thinking about what drives real change.

Then they turn to Disrupting Africa by Olufunmilayo Arewa, a powerful and deeply researched book that argues many of today’s challenges—from corruption to weak infrastructure—are rooted in colonial systems designed for extraction.

Along the way: big ideas, real-world examples, and a plan for future gorilla trekking in Rwanda.

Music by Eiren Caffall — https://www.eirencaffall.com/

In this episode of Doug Reads with Friends, Doug is joined by longtime friend John Bowers — a Grinnell alum and visual effects professional based in Los Angeles — for a wide-ranging conversation sparked by his pick, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. They talk about how they first met (through John’s wife, Leighton), John’s path from Teach for America to Hollywood, and the creative puzzle-solving behind visual effects work before turning to the novel itself. Doug came in thinking he knew Frankenstein and left realizing how wrong he was — and how powerful, philosophical, and surprisingly moving the book really is. Together they explore the creature’s loneliness, Victor’s failures, the novel’s language and structure, and why this 200-year-old story still feels deeply relevant.

Music for Doug Reads with Friends is by Eiren Caffall. Learn more about her work at https://www.eirencaffall.com/.

Next time: Doug talks with Ope Awe about Disrupting Africa: Technology, Law and Development — a challenging, thought-provoking book that pushes Doug into new intellectual territory and sets up a very different kind of conversation.

Chapters

• INTRO — Welcome to Doug Reads with Friends (with John Bowers) (00:05)
• How We Know Each Other: Leighton, Grinnell & Flower Girls (01:17)
• Teach for America: The Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love (05:02)
• Dad Life, 3 vs 8: Discovering Who Your Kids Are (07:31)
• Hollywood, Visual Effects & What a Compositor Actually Does (10:18)
• Aphantasia: Making Images Without a Mind’s Eye (14:36)
• From Artist to Supervisor: Star Wars, Strikes & Red-Eye Weekends (16:57)
• OK, Now the Book: Frankenstein (23:34)
• “I Thought I Knew This Book”: The Creature, Loneliness & Misread Monsters (26:02)
• Victor Sucks: Curiosity, Creation & Why Frankenstein Is the Monster (30:07)
• Quotes, 19th-Century Language & The Birth of Consciousness (33:19)
• OUTRO — Arctic Dog Sleds, Orkneys Shade & Next Time — Disrupting Africa (40:05)

Episode 3: Lost in Oaxaca (with Alicia Hayes)

In Episode 3 of Doug Reads With Friends, Doug is joined by Alicia Hayes—one of the most admired (and most universally liked) people in the world of fellowships advising, and a longtime friend from their shared professional home: NAFA, the National Association of Fellowships Advisors.

Alicia chose Lost in Oaxaca by Jessica Winters Mireles, a romance novel set in a place that feels vivid enough to become a character of its own. Doug and Alicia talk about how they both “fell into” scholarship advising, what keeps Alicia motivated after more than two decades at UC Berkeley, and what it means to be a serious reader (including the very casual detail that Alicia reads about 100 books a year). Then they dig into the book itself: what romance novels are, what this one does well, what didn’t land, and why setting, culture, and perspective matter more than we sometimes realize.

As always: the book is the excuse, the friendship is the reason.

Email Doug with comments or suggestions: [email protected]

Music by Eiren Caffall — https://www.eirencaffall.com/ (and follow her on Spotify)

Next time: Doug reads Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein with John Bowers.

Chapters

00:00 Intro: The Book Is the Excuse
01:58 NAFA, scholarship advising, and Alicia Hayes
04:08 Falling into the work (and staying for the students)
08:20 Awards, Mentorship, and “Office of Two” at Berkeley
16:30 Alicia Reads 100 Books a Year (No Big Deal)
21:44 OK, Now the Book: What Even Is a Romance Novel?
23:00 Oaxaca as a Character
28:17 Unlikable Heroines, Coyotes, and the “Oaxaca Was Good to Me” Problem
37:29 Next Time — Frankenstein (Not the Green Guy)

Episode 2: The Art of Gathering (with Josh Blue)

In Episode 2 of Doug Reads With Friends, Doug calls up his friend Josh Blue—Grinnell alum, Hong Kong–based educator, and one of Doug’s daily companions thanks to a remarkably committed New York Times puzzle Facebook group.

Josh chose The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker, a book about why so many meetings, dinners, and events feel flat—and how intentionality, belonging, and what Parker calls generous authority can transform the way we bring people together. Doug and Josh talk about building community abroad, why Hong Kong became home, reading and book clubs, translanguaging and bilingual parenting, cultural differences in how people gather, and the risks (and rewards) of asking people to step outside their comfort zones.

For the next episode on February 6, I will be discussing Lost in Oaxaca with Alicia Hayes.

As always: the book is the excuse, the friendship is the reason.

Email Doug with comments or suggestions: [email protected]

Music by Eiren Caffall (follow her on Spotify)

Chapters

00:00 Welcome to Doug Reads With Friends
01:16 The Daily Puzzle Friendship
03:53 Nanjing, 2002, and the World Getting Real
06:42 How Hong Kong Became Home
12:08 Josh the Reader
14:58 Language, Bilingual Parenting, and Translanguaging
18:12 The Book Choice and Why This Fits the Podcast
20:03 Back-Cover Blurb and “Could Have Been an Email”
21:25 Thanksgiving as a Case Study: Who Belongs, Rules, and Bob
22:53 Culture and Language: What the Book Assumes
24:59 Gatherings at Work: Designing Workshops Across Contexts
28:20 Generous Authority and Being Human as a Leader
31:10 What Didn’t Land: Putting People on the Spot
32:17 Challenge by Choice and Posse Retreats
34:07 Japanese Communication Norms and Authority Across Cultures
36:46 Wrapping It in a Bow: Appreciation and the Next Gathering
41:01 Outro: What We’re Reading for Episode 3

Welcome to the first episode of Doug Reads With Friends, the podcast I made so I have an excuse to call people I miss and pretend it’s for content. My first guest is Cheryl Rainford: high school friend, theater kid, VW Thing legend, and (plot twist) my kidney recipient. We talk The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong: found family, underdogs, Western Mass vibes, and why “JUICY” sweatpants are basically a setting detail.

Stick around: two weeks from now I’m talking with Josh Blue about The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker.