Down Bad, So Sad

This, simply, was NOT a movie. It was just a series of clips, that were sometimes about turtles, put nonsensically one after the other. Therefore, this episode is just all of us yelling about random things out of order. This movie features a young shell-ebrity, Noah Centineo, some wacky criminals, and a lot of baby turtles. Thank the turtle lord we have a guest host this week, Zach Brown, who makes this horrible movie much more enjoyable. We all had one shell of a time, and you will too! 

TURTLES ARE COOL, TURTLES ARE GREAT, THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE HUMAN RACE!

Welcome back to middle school! Don't cry too soon, the only part we're reliving in this episode is our intense-hormonal driven love for YA fantasy novels that resemble fanfiction. This movie is horrible and you will NOT enjoy it, even if you enjoyed it as a child. Therefore, do not watch it again, just listen to this episode instead. 

WILLLLLLLARRDDDDDDDDDD THERE'S RATS IN THE BASEMENT!!! In this movie, a terrifying, touch-starved man becomes friends with a rat, SocRATes, and enemies with one of the best mob bosses the world has ever seen, a rat named Ben. He then proceeds to have a vaguely erotic relationship with SocRATes... and his mother... and his coworker...and even Ben. This movie is the new standard for cinema; A masterpiece... or even, a RATSerpiece. 

This movie is extra salty, it's like that really expensive Himalayan Pink Salt that you get at Whole Foods or something. Pure salt. It's got salty morsels, salty bands, and salty fight scenes. Jennifer's Body is a movie that is undeniably campy, but is so full of entertaining dialogue that you can't help but enjoy it. Too bad it was marketed towards men and failed when it first came out, which is what makes this movie a perfect fit for Down Bad, So Sad. 

Trolls? This movie has none of them! But, what it does have is homoerotic undertones, a sensual corn scene, and Big Dairy propaganda! Join Anya and Victoria this week as they try to decipher the very strange town of Nilbog—and also compete for the best goblin impression.

Have you ever fallen asleep while watching a TV show and when you wake up an hour later you have no idea what's going on? That's what this movie is like, except you haven't fallen asleep and still feel perpetually confused. Watch this episode if you would like to hear incoherent babbling about the plot of this movie and a fantastic story about the realities of living in university housing.

We're back and more down bad than ever! This movie is like if the original Cinderella died and came back as a horrible movie. If you decide to watch it, good luck! I recommend skipping the movie altogether and just listening to us!

Wow! What a wonderfully horrible movie! This week Anya and Victoria review Willy's Wonderland, a movie about possessed animatronics who are out for blood! If you like Nicolas Cage and Five Nights at Freddy's, you will still hate this movie. This movie is so down bad, so sad, it almost broke us. 

Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? You're on Down Bad, So Sad?! Ruh-roh! Join in this week as Anya and Victoria reminisce on the beloved childhood cartoon and thoroughly debate whether or not Scrappy Doo deserves rights. Spoiler alert: he doesn't (and if you like him then neither do you)!

This prehistoric priest-a-saurus will make you wish dinosaurs had never existed, because it led to this movie. This movie was actually somewhat enjoyable, but like all the others, was clearly down bad. Take a listen to hear Anya discuss the shockingly artistic music video in the middle of the movie and to hear Victoria pretend to be God and make dinosaur noises. You heard me right, folks. This is top tier content.