This episode is a new beginning, of sorts. Not really, but we decided to scrap a bunch that Justin never got around to editing.

Topics include:

• Endoscopy/Colonoscopy
• Cystoscopy
• Bedwetting
• Cold Beer (right next to the Police Academy)
• "You didn't get to the part when that guy don't live?"
• Erotic Chocolates
• Pee-pee Talk. Lots of Pee-pee Talk.
• Sad Octopus
• A Little Halloween Scenario

Special alphabetical-order thanks to our guests: Christine, "Daughter", Dawn, Kimberly, and Tom for sitting in and piping up!

Hey there kids! What's doin'?

We were gone for a bit (betcha didn't notice). It is a loooong story. Here is an extra-long reeking ration of revolting rank repugnancy, and future regrets to make up for our absence. Cheers!

• Jesus Has a Sense of Humor
• What Beer Have you Tried? 
• "I’d Better Put My Hand On"
• The Hook Got Stuck in the Steering Wheel 
• Five People in the World Know How to Drive That Car (And I May Not Be One of Them) 
• There Were Twice as Many DeSotos There Than I Thought There Would Be
• Everytime He Throws a Hand Signal, It’s a U-Turn
• I Bait the Hook…Ha Ha. 
• I Never Sucked off a Palomino/You’re a Fucking Pig
• Buddha Gooch/Return of the Pud Mullet
• Just the Kiss of the Hops
• Jesus Weeped
• I Believe This was a “Tender” Date
• Clint, Cooch, and a Camera (Man)
• Inquiring Minds Want to Know  
• If You Can Touch Them, They’re Real 
• She Thought You Were Bull and She Was Watching Night Court  

If you're still reading this, please check out our friends at Unethical Podcast. Tell 'em Justin sent you.

Not many people know someone who has been over 100 miles per hour in competition on a drag strip. Fewer know someone who has blown a tire doing so. How many of you know someone who did it all, has been through Hell and come out the other side?! Mark Haley did, and he shares the harrowing story with us here...

Among the conversation, listen for the following:

• Bowties are for Pussies
• Pinstripe Referral
• When A Tire Comes Apart at Over 100 Miles Per Hour, There’s Not Much You Can Do
• That Trip did not Turn Out The Way I Expected it To
• My Family was Hundreds of Miles Away
• It’s So Hot
• Very Sexy Legs
• Pissamistic
• Fuck Roadkill
• Sex Pistols Vs. Slipknot

As always, if you enjoy this episode, please rate and review us wherever you can. If you don't, that's ok too. Just keep your negativity to yourself. We only have fourteen listeners as it is, don't poison the well.

We can be reached at [email protected].

If you've got a hankering for car artwork or monster-themed refrigerator magnets, head over to JustinWoodStudio.etsy.com

As a consolation prize for releasing our previous episode a bit late, here's the follow-up which was recorded on the same evening. We were a bit deeper in our cups...and guess what?! After a relatively nice seventh episode, vulgarity, dream music and beeps are back with a vengeance!

Here's a sample of what awaits:

• Uncle Advice
• “I don’t even like that word”
• Pop and Drive/Hit the Wind 
• Fuzzbuster=Radar Detector (clearly explained upfront, though Clint doesn't listen to me)
• Episode Drop During an Episode
• Hafta Wear Underwear/Intimate Piercings/Rain Bird
• Homeless Linguist 
• Horses, Goats and Dirt Bikes 
• Collapsed Lung/No Helmet

Thanks for tuning in! If you dig it, throw us a nice review. If not, please make the bad review entertaining...

Yeah. We got a bit behind schedule. Sue us.

Here is more of the same bullshit, a bit milder in content perhaps, but with additional crappy audio quality!

Here are some bullet points (for those of you into that type of stuff):

• Brand Name Pallets?!
• Optical Sorters
• "Better Idiots"
• India Pale Ale: An In-depth Description
• Doucheknot Van Manbuns
• Fry Sauce
• Siamese Dogs
• Waterless Urinals
• "Turd Ferguson, the MVP!"

As always, thanks for giving us a shot. If you like this type of malarkey, give us a nice review.

If you didn't...well, at least it was FREE!

Hello to our Irish listeners (and the six of you salt-sucking Colonial pukes in the U.S.)! You know the drill at this point: Beer; Intoxicated Masculinity™; Bad language; Online Dating; Blah, blah, blah.

Just when we all thought things couldn't get worse...they did. Clint has been disowned, and as a vengeful result, he and Rourke wouldn't let Justin delete or edit the horrible shit HE says. (Hoo boy...)

Here's a list of highlights in this conversation:

• Trampolines and Bagels
• Afraid of Heights/Old Hank the Balloon Animal
• "Smell My Crutch"
• Goiters and Conjoined Twins
• Pulse Optional/Half-Shaved
• "The Only Egg in the Place"
• Garlic Burgers
• "CONDIMUNT "
• Fifth Gear, Sixth Gear, STROKE 
• Bon Jovi and Man Beating 
• Mimosas, Transformers and Decepticons
• Itty Bitty Pepperonies  
• "Cock au Van"
• Tapestries of Delight

Don't say we didn't warn you. Just remember, if you like what you hear, throw us a good review. If you didn't like it, thanks for giving us a shot. And don't let the screen door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.

What wisdom can an 18-year-old gain while hanging out with his dad and his dad's buddy once the beer begins flowing? Intoxicated Masculinity™.

Warning: Things begin to take a terrible turn this time around. What lies coiled up behind that play button is NOT "faith-promoting!"

Recorded during session two on April 25, 2021, this is easily the most morally-repugnant episode (so far). We touch on: Dry Bangs/Wet Farts; Clint the Power Bottom; Kill the Bishop with Chicken Pox; Wide Stance/COVID protocols; "I'm a pleaser (sign the waiver)!"; "She's a pleaser (uncle so-and-so is my cousin)!"; Wrastlin'; and Gracious Hosts.

What wisdom can an 18-year-old gain while hanging out with his dad and his dad's buddy once the beer begins flowing? Intoxicated Masculinity™.

For those of you eleven listeners that downloaded Episode Three, we have a special treat! This venture into the dark arts of profanity makes the following stops: Voluntary commitment; Mongolian throat singing; Custard parking; 'W' poop; Hate crimes; Gorgonzola in the dark; and Cuter than the alternative!

What wisdom can an 18-year-old gain while hanging out with his dad and his dad's buddy once the beer begins flowing? Intoxicated Masculinity (TM).

Recorded during the same inaugural drinking session as the previous episodes, this episode touches on such riveting topics as: Baja Volkswagens; Breast Milk; Tender Caresses; Restomods; Pud Mullets; Fist Fights, Table Saws & Socks with Flip-Flops; Wrestling (and Greek History); and Peedinkles.

What wisdom can an 18-year-old gain while hanging out with his dad and his dad's buddy once the beer begins flowing? Intoxicated Masculinity (TM).

This episode touches on such riveting topics as: College Degrees; Mis-pronouncing "remuneration"; Shitty Jobs; Frozen Shit Jobs; COVID in the Spook Alley Workplace; Captain Nemo; Bladder Size; and "Offline" Online Dating.