Down The Well

By Elle RowleySociety & Culture Education Self-Improvement Relationships Parenting Kids & Family

Down The Well episodes

November 10 The Devouring Mother: Why Our Children Need Us to Become Less Necessary
Season 4 Episode 1 | The Devouring Mother: Why Our Children Need Us to Become Less Necessary
What happens when a mother's love becomes tangled with her need to be needed?
In this episode of Down The Well, Elle explores The Devouring Mother, the shadow side of the caregiver archetype that emerges when protection becomes control, sacrifice becomes martyrdom, and devotion makes it difficult to let our children grow.
Through psychology, mythology, and honest reflections on her own motherhood, Elle challenges the modern ideal of the "good mother" and asks whether our efforts to prevent every struggle are actually holding our children—and ourselves—back.
From the three faces of the Devouring Mother to the wisdom of the Matriarch, this conversation is an invitation to love without possession, guide without controlling, and find the courage to become less necessary.
Because the goal isn't to love our children less. It's to love them well enough to let them become themselves.
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Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
Elle's Links:
https://substack.com/@ellerowley
https://www.instagram.com/ellerowley
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Show Notes:
Young adults living with parents (the 18% stat) Pew Research Center, “The shares of young adults living with parents vary widely across the U.S.,” April 17, 2025. ⁠https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/04/17/the-shares-of-young-adults-living-with-parents-vary-widely-across-the-us/⁠
Adults without children (the 47% stat) Pew Research Center, “The Experiences of U.S. Adults Who Don’t Have Children,” July 25, 2024. ⁠https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/⁠
Only if you kept the 52% / Great Depression line Pew Research Center, “A majority of young adults in the U.S. live with their parents for the first time since the Great Depression,” September 4, 2020. ⁠https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/⁠
Intensive mothering Hays, Sharon. The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1996.
The good-enough mother Winnicott, D. W. “Transitional Objects and Transitional Phenomena.” International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 34 (1953): 89–97. Reprinted in Playing and Reality. London: Tavistock, 1971.
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Timestamps:
00:00 Introducing the Devouring Mother
04:18 The Archetype's Dark Side
06:57 When Love Becomes Dependence
10:31 Three Faces of Control
15:47 The Good Mother Trap
23:29 Motherhood's Impossible Expectations
28:22 Learning to Let Go
32:36 From Devouring Mother to Matriarch
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About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
35 min
June 02 The 3 Stages of Caregiving in Motherhood
Want to work with Elle? (Life Coaching) 🔗 ellerowley.com
Season 3 Episode 9 | The 3 Stages of Caregiving in Motherhood
In this episode, Elle explores the caregiver archetype and the three levels of development that shape how we love, give, and grow in motherhood.
From overgiving and burnout to boundaries, empowerment, and generative care, this conversation offers a new lens on what it means to care for others without losing yourself.

Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
🔗 Elle's Links:
https://substack.com/@ellerowley
https://www.instagram.com/ellerowley
~
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
30 min
April 29 The 3 Pillars of an Unshakable Mindset (For the Hard Days of Motherhood)
Want to work with Elle? (Life Coaching) 🔗 https://paperbell.me/elle-rowley#packagestarpk
S3 E8 | The 3 Pillars of an Unshakable Mindset (For the Hard Days of Motherhood)
In this episode, Elle shares the 3 pillars of an indomitable mindset — a framework for building resilience, clarity, and purpose in the middle of real life.
Through the lens of Meaning, Belief, and Action, she explores how the way you interpret your life shapes how you experience it — and how intentional mindset shifts can help you navigate motherhood, challenge, and growth with greater strength and alignment.
From defining your “why,” to choosing beliefs that serve you, to taking action even when motivation is low, this episode is a practical and empowering guide for any woman who wants to feel more grounded, capable, and connected to her life.

Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
https://substack.com/@ellerowley
https://www.instagram.com/ellerowley
~
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
29 min
April 07 Maiden → Mother → Matriarch: The Map No One Gave Us
Want to work with Elle? (Life Coaching) 🔗 https://paperbell.me/elle-rowley#packagestarpk
S3 E7 | Maiden → Mother → Matriarch: The Map No One Gave Us
In this episode, Elle explores a framework that brings clarity to the often confusing experience of becoming a woman: maiden, mother, matriarch.
Drawing from psychology, myth, and scripture, she reframes the disorientation many women feel — especially in motherhood — not as failure, but as initiation into a deeper identity.
From the maiden’s search for meaning, to the mother’s transformation through sacrifice, to the matriarch’s emergence as a source of wisdom and authority, this conversation offers language for a path many women are already walking… but don’t yet have words for.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
38 min
March 24 Letters from Down the Well: Finding Yourself After Motherhood (Postpartum, Identity & Overwhelm)
Want to work with Elle? (Life Coaching) 🔗 https://paperbell.me/elle-rowley#packagestarpk
Season 3 Episode 6 | Letters from Down the Well: Finding Yourself After Motherhood (Postpartum, Identity & Overwhelm)

In this episode, Elle introduces Letters from Down the Well — a new series where real questions from women and mothers open the door to honest, transformative conversations.
From postpartum identity and overwhelm to marriage, mom guilt, and breaking generational cycles, Elle offers a grounded reminder:
You’re not failing — you’re becoming.
If you’ve felt lost, stretched, or unsure of who you are in this season of motherhood, this episode will meet you there with clarity, perspective, and encouragement.

~

We would LOVE your thoughts on this episode. Do you want more podcast episodes in this layout? You ask, I answer.
Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
https://substack.com/@ellerowley
https://www.instagram.com/ellerowley
00:00 - Welcoming Listeners
02:01 - Identity Struggles Postpartum
03:41 - Advice: Humility and Curiosity
05:49 - Starting Solibaby After Birth
07:34 - Open-Heartedness After Loss
10:13 - Mothering Without Your Mother
13:36 - Adjusting Homeschooling Expectations
16:44 - Connection During Toddler Phase
21:00 - Weekly Date Night Advice
27:02 - Meltdowns: Mothering Yourself
~
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
29 min
March 10 Reclaiming the Table: Why Gathering Matters
Want to work with Elle? (Life Coaching) 🔗 https://paperbell.me/elle-rowley#packagestarpk
Season 3 Episode 5 | Reclaiming the Table: Why Gathering Matters
In this episode of Down The Well, Elle Rowley sits down with cookbook author and Recipe Club founder Kelsey Nixon for an honest conversation about why gathering around the dinner table matters. Kelsey shares childhood memories, her personal journey through motherhood and loss, and practical tips for reclaiming family dinner—even when life is busy or imperfect.
Together, they bust the myth of “perfect” hosting, discuss the real reason dinner matters, and inspire listeners to embrace simple, meaningful meals as a source of connection and love. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by dinner or hosting, this soulful episode is for you.
P.S. If you haven’t tried meal planning through Recipe Club, stop everything and sign up for two weeks free (code: ELLE) to test it out. You’ll never go back. I still can’t decide if it’s because of the one-click Instacart shopping or the fact that my kids never complain about dinner now as long as it’s a “Kelsey recipe.” It has truly revolutionized dinner time at our house almost three years ago and I promise it will at your house too.
Recipe Club - https://kelseynixon.com/
Kelsey's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kelseynixon/?hl=en
Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee - https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
https://substack.com/@ellerowley
https://www.instagram.com/ellerowley
~
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
1 hr
February 24 Overwhelm, Resentment, and the Return of Inner Authority
Schedule a free coaching consult [email protected]
Season 3 Episode 4 | Break The Cycle of Overwhelm and Resentment In Motherhood
In this episode of Down The Well, Elle Rowley dives into the root causes of overwhelm and resentment in motherhood, revealing how the stories we tell ourselves can quietly define our experiences. Moving through scenarios of three mothers, Elle explores how old beliefs can keep us trapped.

Have you had any of these thoughts before?
“I am the only capable adult”
"A good mother never has limits"
"I have everything, I don't get to want more"
If so, this episode is for YOU!
With empathy and practical advice, Elle Rowley encourages listeners to rewrite these narratives, embrace healthy boundaries, and reclaim inner authority. This is an empowering guide for anyone ready to shift from martyrdom to self-leadership, and build a more aligned, fulfilling life as a mother.
Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
https://substack.com/@ellerowley
https://www.instagram.com/ellerowley
00:00 - Overwhelm Isn't Random, It's Story-Driven
01:07 - Phases: Maiden, Mother, Matriarch
03:52 – Overwhelm = Busy Mom Stereotype
04:55 – Overwhelm: Cognitive, Emotional, Existential
07:45 – Sarah: Only Capable Adult
14:51 – Maria: Never Has Limits
20:07 – Availability VS True Presence
28:55 – Architect Your Life, Intentional Choices
~
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
34 min
February 10 Who She Became After the Waiting — 5 Lessons From Leanne Morgan
Schedule a free coaching consult - [email protected]
Season 3 Episode 3 | Who She Became After the Waiting — 5 Lessons From Leanne Morgan
In this episode of Down The Well, Elle Rowley takes listeners on a journey through the inspiring life and career of comedian Leanne Morgan, celebrating her as a modern-day matriarch whose humor and wisdom are hard-earned and deeply relatable. Through stories of motherhood, late blooming success, and finding comedy in the chaos of everyday life, Elle Rowley distills five powerful lessons from Leanne Morgan's journey—including the transformative power of humor, the quiet strength of gentleness, and the mythic value found in ordinary lives.
With warm anecdotes, personal reflections, and snippets from Leanne Morgan herself, this episode is both a tribute to a beloved Southern voice and an uplifting reminder that it’s never too late to step into your own light.
Leanne's Book: https://www.leannemorgan.com/book
Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee: https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
https://substack.com/@ellerowley
https://www.instagram.com/ellerowley
00:00 Introduction to Leanne Morgan
02:59 - Attending Leanne’s Netflix taping
05:03 - Leanne’s “Ordinary” Life Details
07:00 - Matriarchal Lessons: Right on Time
10:18 - Leanne on God’s Timing
12:40 - Humorous Motherhood Moments
18:00 - Mythic Power in Ordinary Lives
26:30 - Closing Lessons & Gratitude
~
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
28 min
January 27 What Cinderella Reveals About Identity
Contact Elle, [email protected], to schedule a free coaching consult.
Sz 3 Ep 2 | What if losing yourself in motherhood was only the beginning of your real story?
In this powerful solo episode, Elle Rowley dives into the most common and painful experience shared by mothers everywhere: the feeling of disappearing into motherhood. Drawing wisdom from both her own journey and the collective voices of hundreds of moms, she unpacks the loneliness, exhaustion, and self-loss that so often come with parenting—and challenges the idea that these struggles are the end of your story.
Through the lens of the classic Cinderella fairy tale, Elle reframes the descent into caretaking and invisibility as the first act of a profound transformation. This episode isn’t about escaping your life or returning to who you once were, but about reclaiming identity, integrating selfhood with care, and finding meaning and adventure in every messy, exhausting phase.
You'll hear raw confessions, honest reflections, and practical strategies on how to embrace the “underground” seasons, trust the growth that’s happening beneath the surface, and courageously begin your re-emergence. From self-care rituals to reframing guilt and redefining what it means to be “enough,” this episode is an invitation to trust that you’re becoming someone larger and truer—right in the heart of motherhood.
If you or someone you love is struggling to see the light at the bottom of the well, this chapter promises hope, clarity, and a way forward. Join Elle in rewriting your story—one that honors both the sacrifices and the reawakening that motherhood demands.
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Down The Well Links:
Elle's Substack - https://substack.com/@ellerowley
Elle's Instagram - instagram.com/ellerowley
Schedule a free coaching consult with Elle - [email protected]
Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee - https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
-----
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.
-----
Timestamps:
00:00:00 - Exhaustion and isolation in motherhood
00:01:26 - Rewriting common motherhood narratives
00:07:42 - Cinderella as a transformation metaphor
00:11:09 - Rediscovering self-worth and identity
00:14:13 - Embracing phases and growth
00:16:41 - Personal descent and new beginnings
00:19:01 - Integration, not escape, in motherhood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
24 min
January 13 Why Motherhood Feels So Hard (It’s the Story You’re Living In)
Szn 3 Ep 1 | What if the biggest obstacle to joy isn’t your circumstances—but the stories you unknowingly tell yourself?
In this season opener of Down The Well, Elle Rowley unpacks the true meaning of transformation, inviting listeners to bravely reexamine the narratives shaping their motherhood—and their lives. Through vulnerable storytelling and thought-provoking wisdom, Elle shares her own journey from feeling like “the party pooper” mom, always overshadowed by her husband’s fun energy, to intentionally rewriting her identity and rediscovering the magic she brought to the table.
Whether you’re stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, feeling “blah” about mom life, or just hungry for real growth beneath the overwhelm, this premiere marks the start of a transformative six-part series dedicated to helping you reclaim authorship of your own story. You’ll leave with not only inspiration, but actionable questions and gentle encouragement to mother yourself as thoughtfully as you mother your children.
If you’re ready to stop letting old stories run the show and begin a year of true, lasting transformation, this is the episode for you. Down the well we go—together.
Show Links:
Narrative Coaching by David B. Drake - https://www.amazon.com/Narrative-Coaching-Definitive-Bringing-Stories/dp/0996356312
Down The Well Links:
Elle's Substack - https://substack.com/@ellerowley
Elle's Instagram - instagram.com/ellerowley
Schedule a free coaching consult with Elle - [email protected]
Support families in Guatemala by purchasing a 'World Peace Begins at Home' tee - https://www.the-humble-village.org/shop
-----
About Down The Well:
Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley talks through the mother's hero's journey, and why it's different from the one you might have learned in school or books.
Unlike the traditional hero's journey, mothers have to descend into the depths of their own soul. No one comes out of motherhood the same, and with the right perspective and resources, we can make sure that transformation is for the better.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
35 min

About Down The Well

From the publisher's feed

Motherhood should be full of joy and meaning. But it often isn't. Why is that? On Down the Well, Elle Rowley, talks about how mothers can achieve that meaning and joy by going on their own hero's journey.