I'm just going to replace my entire diet with supplements and see how long I make it.

Outro song:  Soda Pop - Britney Spears

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Can I get workers comp working remotely if I throw my back out in my living room during work hours?

Outro song: POWER by B.A.P.

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I'm going to mold chakra until I can finally use lose-weight-no-jutsu.

Outro song: One Piece Rap - Freshco

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If I say everything that isn't funny, the only things left to say will be funny.

Outro song: I Am Very Glad, as I'm Finally Returning Back Home - Eduard Khil

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They make paper towels, but why not towel paper?  Why do I save all my good jokes for the episode description?

Outro song: Meow Mix Theme

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I'm going to mix pre-workout with melatonin so I can finally win fights in my dreams.

Outro song: It's Been Awhile - Staind

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Can't tell you how gutted I am about the fact that I only thought to make a joke about the V standing for "void cheque" after I finished recording.

Outro song: Butter - BTS

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"I've got some good ideas for some tik toks" said the guy far too close to his thirties to be on tik tok

Outro song: A Distinctive Sound - Gotye

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I'd run for office if it wasn't for the fact that I put all of this blackmail material on one place.

Outro song: Last Resort - Papa Roach X Jeris Johnson

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I'm just going to bulk for my entire life and deadlift 900 pounds when I'm 100.

Outro song: Wacky Dust - Ella Fitzgerald

Podcast art by Joey Rizk