"To work through the 12 Steps with Dr. Doug Weiss in this series, purchase Beyond Love here: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/beyond-love-guide/
Dr. Doug Weiss, national psychologist and author, has helped thousands of couples deal with sex addiction in their lives for over 30 years. You have been hurt and affected in many ways by your spouse's sex addiction. However, you can heal you so that you can become the best you you were meant to be. In order to do this, you can start by doing the 12 Steps program. In this video, Dr. Weiss discusses Step 4 of the recovery journey, which is about having made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
With Step 4, it's another process that you have to choose to make. It's doing an internal searching of you alone. Searching your own story, heart, motives, and past. In this searching, you will find a lot of stuff and doors you didn't realize that were there before. Whatever you find, you should aim to be willing to look at it, to be fearless of the truth (both good and bad). This is about rigorous honesty that you will face and not run from, both the choices and the consequences. And not only facing it, but also being able to talk about it and share it with those who can give you the support you need.
From your search results, you will use it to create a moral inventory and separate the stuff into a good, bad, and ugly column. With the good column, it's the choices you made that were great and the good you did for yourself and others.
The bad column of the inventory lists the decisions you made that weren't the best, had negative consequences for you, and hurt those around you. However, even if you made bad decisions, it doesn't mean that you're bad.
With the ugly column, that's the stuff that happened to you that you had no control over or responsibility for. Things that impacted your life for the worse including your spouse's sex addiction, a bad family of origin, abuse, a car accident that happened to you, etc. These things may have impacted the decisions you make.
This step is where people sometimes run away from because they don't want to look in the mirror and face the bad and ugly in their life. However, these things don't determine your identity and worth. You're not bad or ugly because you did those things or experienced them. This recovery process is being honest with yourself though, seeing the good, bad, and ugly in your life.
I'm proud that you got this far, but now is the time to pick up the pace and do this step that can lead to you living a better life. You want to also share this with a support group or friend. Build good relationships to help support you in this process.
For the Partners Book: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partners-healing-book/
For the Partners of Sex Addicts Facebook group for women, go to:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
For the Partners of Sex Addicts Facebook group for men, go to:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
For more information on Partner Betrayal Trauma®, go to https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/
For the book, Partner Betrayal Trauma, visit:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/
For information on marriage counseling and intensives, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/counseling/
For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/store/
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Partner Betrayal Trauma ™.
You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, https://www.drdougweiss.com/ or on his Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdougweiss/
by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected]"
