Solo Parent

DR. MEG MEEKER - GUIDING OUR CHALLENGING KIDS


Listen Later

Parenting alone can feel overwhelming especially with strong-willed kids who test limits. We know consistency is important but what can we do when our kids continually test boundaries?
We talked with parenting expert Dr. Meg Meeker, a leading authority on parenting teens and children's health, bestselling author, pediatrician and a mom.
Here are her baseline tips:
1. Don't feel like you have to be both parents. You are only one person. That's enough.
2. Parents need to intentionally find ways to have one on one time with their kids every week. Connect. Look them in the eye. Ask them how life is and listen.
3. Timing matters. Give your kids space after school or athletic practice. Bedtime can be a wonderful time to connect.
4. Our approach matters too. Go in gently. Don't lead with correction. Sit at the end of the bed. Ask questions but don't demand feedback. Say, "I haven't seen you much this week. How's life?"
5. Keep going back. Your persistence lets your kids know you simply want their company. They will open up but only if they think they can count on you and that you will listen.
A sudden change in demeanor or pulling away can signal that something has happened outside of your home. Use the same curious, persistent approach. Ask, "You're not your usual happy self. Is there anything you want to talk about?" Go where they are, they need to know you are in it with them.
If your child doesn't want to talk, try asking about their friends. They may share more openly if the focus is not on them, especially if they are embarrassed or think may get in trouble. When they do share, don't overreact.
Remember, acting out and defiance aren't usually about you as a parent. Unhappy kids are defiant. "Inside of them, curled up, is a little kid who is in a tremendous amount of pain." Give them language to express themselves. Say, "I understand something is going on and you're really angry but even when you're mad you can't _____." Let them know their feelings are okay while giving them ownership of their behavior and the consequences. "If you say this or do that, then I'm going to have to take your phone away. I hope you don't put me in that position." For single parents, don't let guilt make you reluctant to set limits.
Meeker says our message needs to be that life includes pain and we understand. Let them know it's okay to let their feelings bubble up to the surface and that you will be there to help them process.
If a rebellious child is making bad choices, and the behaviors aren't dangerous, Meeker says hold on and stick with them through it. Most kids will eventually develop enough maturity to get past it. But, if they are doing dangerous things, you have to monitor their behavior closely. Sometimes rebellion is a test to see what you will do. They want to know how far you will go to get them. They may scream, be mortified, and say they hate you but, as a parent, you must do the hard things. Dr, Meeker says, "Your job is to raise a healthy 25-year-old not a healthy 18-year-old" because their brains aren't fully developed until then.
Meeker adds, "No situation is beyond fixable. Don't parent out of fear. If your child is in danger, recruit some help and go after that kid. Let them know you are not going anywhere. Kids who are pursued feel so loved."
For more - www.meekerparenting.com
FB - @SoloParentSociety INSTA - @SoloParentSociety
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Solo ParentBy AccessMore

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

9 ratings


More shows like Solo Parent

View all
That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs by That Sounds Fun Network

That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs

10,444 Listeners

The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane by AccessMore

The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane

90 Listeners

Dream Big Podcast with Bob Goff and Friends by AccessMore

Dream Big Podcast with Bob Goff and Friends

1,848 Listeners

Adventures Of The StarKeepers by StarKeeper Studios

Adventures Of The StarKeepers

500 Listeners

The Christine Caine Equip & Empower Podcast by AccessMore

The Christine Caine Equip & Empower Podcast

1,832 Listeners

Rebecca St. James Friends and Family by AccessMore

Rebecca St. James Friends and Family

277 Listeners

Science + God with Dr. G by AccessMore

Science + God with Dr. G

328 Listeners

Hey! It's The Luskos by AccessMore

Hey! It's The Luskos

508 Listeners

The High Note with Tauren Wells by AccessMore

The High Note with Tauren Wells

510 Listeners

Chasing the Beauty with Mike Donehey by AccessMore

Chasing the Beauty with Mike Donehey

216 Listeners

The Paula Faris 'Faith & Calling' Podcast by AccessMore

The Paula Faris 'Faith & Calling' Podcast

696 Listeners

Lisa Harper's Back Porch Theology by AccessMore

Lisa Harper's Back Porch Theology

2,831 Listeners

Therapy and Theology by Lysa TerKeurst

Therapy and Theology

2,032 Listeners