Dragonfly Moments

Have you ever wondered why something still hurts when you thought you had healed? Or felt guilty for laughing while grieving, struggling after a season of growth, or missing someone you know you needed to let go?

In this episode of Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter, we explore the powerful reminder that two things can be true at the same time.

Through a deeply personal story about experiencing stranger stalking and the unexpected triggers that resurfaced years later, Teri reflects on what healing really looks like. Healing doesn't mean we never hurt, that our bodies forget, or that difficult emotions will never find their way back to us. Sometimes, healing means recognizing what we're feeling, giving ourselves grace, and learning how to care for ourselves through the hard moments.

Together, we'll explore why you can be healing and still have triggers, grieving and still experience joy, strong and still need help, and grateful while wishing things were different.

If you've ever questioned your progress because you had a hard day, this conversation is a reminder that a difficult moment doesn't erase how far you've come.

You don't have to choose one truth. You can hold both.

Because sometimes, healing isn't about reaching a place where nothing hurts anymore. It's learning how to care for yourself when it does.

Take a breath, give yourself some grace, and remember: two things can be true, and both can belong to you.

When Trauma Shows Up at the School Door

What happens when a child walks into school carrying something no one else can see?

Trauma doesn’t stay at home. It can show up in the classroom through difficulty concentrating, changes in behavior, withdrawal, anxiety, anger, exhaustion, or a sudden struggle with school attendance. Sometimes what looks like defiance, disengagement, or truancy may actually be a child trying to navigate something overwhelming.

In this episode of Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter, we’re talking about what happens when trauma shows up at the school door—and why the question we ask matters.

Instead of simply asking, “What’s wrong with this student?” what if we paused to ask, “What happened, and what might this child need right now?”

I’ll connect this conversation to my doctoral research on the relationship between trauma and school attendance, including findings from my dissertation, Impact of Trauma on Truancy, which examined the connection between adverse childhood experiences, post-traumatic stress, and school attendance.

We’ll also explore Handle With Care Missouri, a trauma-informed initiative that creates a bridge between law enforcement, schools, and mental health providers. When a child is exposed to a potentially traumatic event involving law enforcement, the school can receive a confidential notification so educators know to respond with additional awareness and trauma-sensitive support.

Because sometimes a child doesn't need another consequence.

Sometimes they need someone to notice.

Someone to understand.

Someone to handle them with care.

📚 Read my dissertation: Impact of Trauma on Truancy — Teri J. Hargrave

💙 Learn more about Handle With Care Missouri: Handle With Care Missouri

A reminder: This podcast is for education, reflection, and conversation. I am not a clinician, therapist, or counselor, and the thoughts and information shared are my own and are not associated with any organization I am affiliated with.

🎙️ Episode 7: Stories We Tell Ourselves

What if the story you’ve been telling yourself isn’t the truth?

In this episode of Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter, we’re talking about the stories that quietly shape how we see ourselves, our relationships, and our lives. Sometimes those stories come from painful experiences, careless comments, rejection, trauma, or moments when someone made us question whether we were “enough.” Over time, we may begin repeating those messages to ourselves until they feel like facts.

Teri gets personal as she reflects on negative self-talk, shame and guilt, and the comments from her past that stayed with her long after they were spoken. She shares a reminder that healing can begin by asking: “Who told me this? And do I still want to believe it?”

We’ll explore: ✨ The difference between what happened to us and who we are ✨ How negative self-talk can become our inner soundtrack ✨ Shame vs. guilt ✨ Reframing the stories that keep us stuck ✨ Practicing self-compassion ✨ Giving ourselves permission to write a new chapter

Because one bad day isn't a bad life—and one chapter isn't the whole story.

You are not your worst mistake. You are not your biggest disappointment. You are not the hardest thing you've ever lived through.

You are not your story. You are the author of your next chapter.

Keep looking for the dragonflies. Keep noticing the glimmers. Keep choosing hope.

Generational Trauma

In this episode of Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter, Jessica joins me as a friend and shares her personal experiences with generational trauma.

We talk about what it looks like to recognize patterns that have been passed down, find the courage to work through them, and make intentional choices to create something different for the next generation.

Jessica is a wife, girl mom, and marketing professional who loves reading, running, and spending time with her family. And with two cats in the mix, life is never boring! 🐈‍⬛💕

This is a conversation about awareness, healing, breaking cycles, and choosing a different path—not just for ourselves, but for those who come after us. ✨

Episode: Triggers, Glimmers, and the Space Between

What happens in the moments between what triggers us and how we respond?

In this episode of Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter, we’re exploring the space between our triggers and our reactions—and how learning to recognize that space can create opportunities for healing, growth, and choice.

We’ll talk about triggers, those experiences that can activate old emotions, memories, or protective responses, and glimmers, the small moments of safety, joy, connection, and hope that remind us that not every moment is defined by what we’ve been through.

Sometimes healing isn’t about eliminating the hard moments. It’s about learning to notice what is happening, pause, reconnect with ourselves, and recognize the moments of light that exist alongside the difficult ones.

✨ What triggers you? ✨ What helps you feel safe? ✨ Where do you find your glimmers? ✨ And what happens when you give yourself a little more space between feeling and reacting?

Because sometimes, the most meaningful moments happen in the space between.

Take a breath. Notice the moment. Find your glimmer.

Episode 4: Finding Peace Through Movement 🧘‍♀️

Technical Disclaimer

A quick note before we begin: As with any podcast, there may occasionally be technical issues, including changes in audio quality, background noise, interruptions, or other recording glitches. I’m doing my best to make each episode the best listening experience possible, but sometimes technology has a mind of its own!

Thank you for your patience, understanding, and for continuing to listen to Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter. I appreciate you being here and sharing these conversations with me.

In this episode of Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter, I’m joined by Michala Paris, a yoga instructor whose own journey with yoga began as a way to move, heal, and reconnect with her body.

Michala graduated with a B.S. in Education from Oklahoma State University and began her career in 2014 with the Clay County Prosecutor’s Office, working in both the criminal and child support divisions. In October 2023, she began her work with the Clay County Domestic Violence Court.

Michala discovered yoga in 2020 as a way to help heal her body and found something much deeper along the way. She completed her RYT 200 training in February 2022 and believes wholeheartedly that yoga is for everybody and every BODY.

In this conversation, we explore the connection between movement, stress, trauma, healing, and finding moments of peace when life feels overwhelming. We talk about how yoga can be more than a physical practice—it can create space to breathe, reconnect with yourself, and be present in the moment.

We also talk about The Battle Within, a Kansas City-area nonprofit dedicated to helping veterans, first responders, and frontline medical personnel find pathways toward healing and hope after traumatic experiences. The organization provides trauma-informed mental and behavioral health support, including its Revenant Journey program and therapy resources.

The Battle Within’s work is a powerful reminder that healing doesn't have to happen alone—and that finding the right tools and support can make a difference.

Whether it’s through yoga, therapy, movement, community, or simply taking a moment to breathe, healing can begin with one small step.

When Michala isn’t on her mat, she enjoys spending time with her puppy, Frannie. ❤️

Join us for a meaningful conversation about movement, mindfulness, trauma, healing, and finding peace—one breath and one moment at a time.

🧘‍♀️ You don’t have to be flexible. You don’t have to be experienced. You just have to show up.

Learn more about The Battle Within and the resources they provide to veterans, first responders, and frontline professionals.

https://www.thebattlewithin.org/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=13860958747&gbraid=0AAAAABSnhBy69Fi172pdi8D_IN2sy4wXf&gclid=Cj0KCQjwp9vTBhCWARIsANaUrjtd7useVxFrKqfmFC1hhcyDxl-ie8Gq6vJpwxf-1ogq9GUBEgr7py8aAiRdEALw_wcB

Episode 3: Understanding Trauma – Why We React the Way We Do

Trauma is a word we hear often, but what does it really mean?

In this episode of Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter, we're laying the foundation for many of the conversations to come by exploring trauma in a way that's practical, compassionate, and easy to understand.

Together, we'll talk about how trauma is more than a single event—it's often a loss of trust in what was once experienced as a safe and predictable world. Whether your experience was a major life event or a series of smaller, chronic stressors, trauma can shape the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us.

We'll also discuss:

• What trauma is—and what it isn't
• Why two people can experience the same event but respond differently
• The difference between "Big T" and "Little t" trauma
• How trauma affects the brain, body, and nervous system
• An introduction to the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study and what it teaches us about childhood adversity and lifelong health
• Why an ACE score is information—not a prediction of your future
• A Ted Talk by Kwame Christian called Finding Confidence in Conflict. https://youtu.be/F6Zg65eK9XU?si=fd1469TqrNZUtzO6
• A simple explanation of the DSM-5 and how mental health professionals use it to guide diagnosis and treatment
• Why experiencing trauma does not automatically mean someone has PTSD or another mental health diagnosis
• The importance of recognizing both our trauma triggers and our "Dragonfly Moments" as we move toward healing

One of the biggest takeaways from today's conversation is this:

Your experiences may explain some of your reactions, but they do not define who you are. Healing is possible, and understanding yourself is often the first step.

Dragonfly Challenge of the Week

This week, pay attention to moments when you feel safe.

Notice the people, places, or experiences that help your body relax and your mind feel at ease. Maybe it's a conversation with a friend, sitting on your porch with a cup of coffee, hearing your favorite song, or your dog greeting you at the door.

Write down one "Dragonfly Moment" each day and take a moment to appreciate it. The more we intentionally notice moments of safety, connection, and joy, the more we help our brains recognize that healing is possible.

Reflection Questions

• When was the last time you felt truly safe?
• What helps you feel grounded when life feels overwhelming?
• What are some of your trauma triggers, and what are some of your Dragonfly Moments?
• What is one small thing you can do this week to care for yourself?

Thank you for joining me for another conversation that matters. If this episode encouraged you, consider following the podcast, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who may benefit from this conversation.

Disclaimer: The thoughts, opinions, and experiences shared in this podcast are my own and are intended for educational and informational purposes only. I am not a licensed clinician, therapist, counselor, or mental health professional, and nothing discussed should be considered medical, mental health, legal, or professional advice. The views expressed do not represent those of any organization, employer, board, or association with which I am affiliated.

Episode 2: Looking for Your Dragonfly Moments

What if healing isn't about waiting for life to get easier, but learning to notice the small moments of joy along the way?

In this episode, I share the deeply personal story behind the name Dragonfly Moments. After losing my dad to cancer, an unexpected encounter with a black-and-white dragonfly brought me a sense of peace during one of the hardest seasons of my life. That experience became the inspiration for this podcast and a reminder that hope can find us, even in the midst of grief.

We also explore the idea of "Dragonfly Moments"—those everyday glimmers that bring comfort, joy, or hope. While it's important to recognize our trauma triggers and develop healthy ways to cope, it's equally important to intentionally look for the things that make life meaningful.

Together, we'll talk about:

• The story behind the dragonfly and the inspiration for this podcast
• Finding comfort and hope in the midst of grief
• The difference between trauma triggers and "glimmers"
• Why our brains notice what we're looking for
• Everyday moments that can bring unexpected joy
• The journey from surviving to thriving
• An introduction to concurrent and consecutive coping

This week's Dragonfly Challenge: Take a few moments each day to notice one "Dragonfly Moment"—a small moment that makes you smile, brings you peace, or reminds you that joy still exists. Write it down, share it with someone you love, or simply pause to appreciate it.

I'd love to hear about your Dragonfly Moments! Share them on social media and tag the podcast so we can celebrate the little moments that make a big difference.

Thank you for listening to Dragonfly Moments: Conversations That Matter. If this episode encouraged you, please consider following the podcast, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little hope today.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are my own and are intended to encourage thoughtful conversation and reflection. I am not a licensed clinician, therapist, counselor, or mental health professional, and nothing in this episode should be considered medical, mental health, legal, or professional advice. The views expressed do not represent those of any organization or association with which I am affiliated.

Welcome to Dragonfly Moments! I am your host Teri Hargrave. This episode gives an outline of what to expect from this podcast.