Drat Pack

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An anonymous woman calls a sexy twenty-something on his cell phone and tells him unless he can help her, she and her family will be killed. Sound like a solid hook? Sure, as long as you avoid a lot of the other nonsense that gets thrown at you, like backstory, characters, and logistics. For our first summer blockbuster, Leigh, Brendan, Chris and returning guest Meghan Coyne watch the 2004 thriller Cellular starring Chris Evans, Kim Basinger, William H. Macy and a bunch of muscles sculpted into vaguely humanoid shapes. Join us as we sip our refreshing Gin RAZRs and try to punch up a not-so-great movie that we all kinda enjoyed, Dat Phan be damned. As always, you can mysteriously call us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or download and rate our show on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

GIN RAZR

Mix gin, lime juice, and simple syrup in cocktail shaker. Muddle mint sprigs in shaker and add ice. Shake vigorously and pour over ginger ale.

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As three weirdos who make it a point to watch movies every four weeks for this podcast, Leigh, Brendan, and Chris naturally have a lot of specific occasions we like to watch other movies on, be it a holiday or that time in everyone’s high school career where some teacher made you watch Remember the Titans. We talk about the times we watch certain movies and the movies we like to watch on those times, and we also get off topic a lot because this was a very loose topic we came up very suddenly. Also we have a lovely summer drink recipe for a lovely dumb summer movie coming up two weeks from now. As with every occasion you listen to us, you can like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or rate us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

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If you’ve ever wanted to see lovingly-sexualized hairy aliens played by Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans try to fuck Geena Davis, then wow do you have some oddly specific fantasies. For everyone else, though, there’s Earth Girls Are Easy, a bubbly slice of pop nonsense designed presumably to inform future generations of what living in the 1980s must have been like. Leigh, Brendan, and Chris down several shots and discuss their love of alien quirks, what kind of quasi-musical this is, and how dumb every woman in this movie seems to be. All this, and somehow Jim Carrey is weirdly attractive too! Have a mental margarita and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast and rate us on Apple Podcasts and Stitcher. YEAH YEAH YEAH

MAC

WIPLOC

ZEEBO

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Fandoms! They’re the inescapable parasite that our franchise-heavy movie world must support, lest all of the major studios crumble into dust. In this episode, Leigh, Brendan, and Chris talk about all the horrifying aspects of fandoms that have reared their ugly, shrieking, appeasement-seeking heads. From gatekeeping to temper fits to the mysoginistic dregs that flow through the Internet, we poke them all with pointed sticks and muse on the world they have left in their wake. Also it’s not all gloom and doom, because there’s a whopping three drinks for the frothy inanity of a movie we’ll be tacking next time, so enjoy that part! As always, subscribe and rate on Apple Podcasts and Stitcher and like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast. What have you got to lose???

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We could tell you that the audio for this episode is a reference to our movie’s low budget DIY sensibility, but that would be an outright lie, and we respect you too much to do that to you. Instead, we apologize for this episode’s iffy audio and blame our microphone settings. Hopefully, none of it will deter too much from the quirky indie sensibilities of Hal Hartley’s 2006 sequel, the spy thriller satire (?!?!) Fay Grim. Never seen the movie that precedes it? Don’t worry, it won’t matter if you had! Leigh, Brendan, and Chris discuss the futility of criticizing auteur projects, the risks of satirizing something you are unable to actually make, and the saving grace that is Parker Posey. We hope you can choke down all this chatter and the thematically bitter cocktail too. Sorry, that’s just the kinda guys we are. Rate our endeavors online, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Stitcher.

A LONG LIFETIME OF INTOLERABLE PAIN

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What a twist! Instead of doing something else you might have expected, instead we’re talking about twist endings. How unexpected maybe! Join Leigh, Brendan, and Chris as we define twist endings, cover the ones we don’t like and why, and then very quickly throw out some good ones because we realize we’ve spoken too long about bad ones. Also there’s the next movie we’ll be doing and the drink for it, and we hope you remember The Girl from Monday because it’s related to that, so maybe download that episode and give it another listen, why not! As always, visit us online at dratpack.com, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, and subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. TWIST!!!

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Gather your lads and get ready to bash some noggins, because this ain’t your great^45 grandfather’s King Arthur story! Actually, this ain’t really anyone’s King Arthur story, except maybe Guy Ritchie’s. Join Leigh, Brendan, and Chris as they get all lagered up and watch Guy Ritchie’s bizarrely-handled 2017 notbuster, King Arthur: The Legend of the Sword. Topics for discussion include Ritchie’s attempt to graft his style onto a medieval tale, the sausage-fest- er, banger-fest- that is King Arthur and his Lads of the Round Table, and the general video game-esque vibes that permeate throughout. In the end, we try to come up with a better adaptation of the Arthur mythos and offer a drink recipe as reparations for all our Viking shenanigans. Rather than pulling a magic sword from the stone that was your father (don’t even ask), you can be a hero and rate us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, and visit us online at dratpack.com.

WAGES, MAGES, AND LESS THAN TWO LADIES

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Look out! In lieu of our more normal subjects, we’re doing this first mini episode in a new mini episode series that we’re calling Why Do I Like This for lack of a better name. In this, we’ll discuss something we like that has a lot of negative connotations of any kind and explain why we like it and offer a defense of it. Join us for the first of however many we end up doing mini episodes as out very own Leigh discusses her love of pop punk music while Chris probes her mind and Brendan is there also. At the risk of shaking things up TOO much, we also have a drink recipe for the medieval mess of a movie that will follow in our next episode. If you in turn decide you like us, you can show it by rating us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher, liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, and visiting our website at dratpack.com.

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You loved Julia Roberts, John Cusack, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Billy Crystal in, uh, all the stuff they’ve been in that you might have liked them in. Now see them as you’ve never seen them before- horribly unlikable, bitchy, and barely two-dimensional! Join America’s REAL sweethearts Leigh, Brendan, and Chris as we kick back with a fruit cocktail and popcorn and snipe about the questionable satire, the utter lack of character development, and how little rom and com is in this ostensible romcom. How do we take this inconsequential bit of cinematic nothingness and make it better? Well, there’s lot of alcohol involved. Be our Valentines by liking us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast or rating us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. KIKIIIIIIIII

PRESS JUNKET

Puree all ingredients in blender and strain. Serve over ice.

A REALLY NICE BAG

Add strawberries, sugar, and salt to food processor and pulse until ingredients they become a combined powder. Add oil and kernels to a large pot and cover with lid. Turn heat to medium and begin to slide and shake the pot over the burner until the kernels will begin to pop (about 2 minutes). Continue until slows down then remove from heat. Wait until popcorn has stopped popping before removing lid and putting popcorn in a bowl. Put strawberry powder into a sifter and sprinkle on top of popcorn.

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With February on the way, that once-fabled dumping ground of crappy movies that studios don’t care about, Leigh, Brendan, and Chris turn their attention to an all-too-relevant topic: what was the worst experience we ever had in a movie theater? The discussion covers both horrible movies and horrible environments, and touches on such diverse topics as trees that jizz, appalling YA rip-off movies, and that horrible period where Star Wars: The Clone Wars was supposed to be the last Star Wars movie to ever be released in a theater. We also announce our upcoming February Valentine rom-com movie and a suitably red cocktail to go with it. As always, visit us online at dratpack.com, like us at facebook.com/whywatchpodcast, and subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher, those twin titans of podcast aggregators!