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Have you ever felt like you were experiencing a “storm” in someone else? It’s that time of year, when we tend to experience challenging people. Or…. are we the challenging one? Either way, its a great idea to think about mindset to improve our relationships and overall experience.

In this week’s episode, I’ll share some ideas about seeing others so that we can enjoy getting together without getting lost in drama or toxic thinking.

The video clip to which I referred during this podcast was “Are You Hurting or Helping Your Children? Arbinger and WinGate Webinar,” in which the wilderness survival experience was discussed, with reference to a “storm” inside people who are being challenging.

Additionally, I mentioned several of the Arbinger books, including The Anatomy of Peace, Leadership and Self-Deception, and The Outward Mindset. All of these books teach about the principles of seeing others and becoming “outward” as a way of being. I highly recommend checking them out, beginning with The Anatomy of Peace. 

 

Have you ever felt like you were experiencing a "storm" in someone else? It's that time of year, when we tend to experience challenging people. Or.... are we the challenging one? Either way, its a great idea to think about mindset to improve our relationships and overall experience.

In this week's episode, I'll share some ideas about seeing others so that we can enjoy getting together without getting lost in drama or toxic thinking.

The video clip to which I referred during this podcast was "Are You Hurting or Helping Your Children? Arbinger and WinGate Webinar," in which the wilderness survival experience was discussed, with reference to a "storm" inside people who are being challenging.

Additionally, I mentioned several of the Arbinger books, including The Anatomy of Peace, Leadership and Self-Deception, and The Outward Mindset. All of these books teach about the principles of seeing others and becoming "outward" as a way of being. I highly recommend checking them out, beginning with The Anatomy of Peace. 

 

Give the best gift ever: be present. See and hear others, and immediately improve all of your relationships.

We can give others the best gift this year--the one they really want. That is to to let them be seen and heard. Be present. But why is it so difficult? In this podcast, we'll explore the brain's survival mode that processes information in ways that keep us from slowing down and really seeing and hearing other people sometimes. I'll share some examples, and we'll close with tips to accomplish seeing others and really hearing them, without needing to have all the answers or anything at all.

 

 

Perfectionism can stop progress and keep good people from becoming truly great. Although we might all experience it on the path to achieving a challenging goal, recognizing and defeating perfectionism the key to confidence and action.

 

Perfectionism can stop progress and keep good people from becoming truly great. Although we might all experience it on the path to achieving a challenging goal, recognizing and defeating perfectionism the key to confidence and action.

 

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a total unwillingness to accept anything less than perfection. It is an extremely high standard. Within perfectionism, we believe that human perfection is actually attainable. It might be in spiritual areas, in an area of performance, or in moral behavior.

Perfectionism focuses on accomplishments or appearances. It might seem superficial, but perfectionism can also be the quest for significant depth beyond what is reasonable for a certain age or skill level. Looking for quality and depth is not superficial at all, but the drive to present an appearance of perfection certainly is.

Can perfectionism be a good thing?

You might think that some level of perfectionism is a good thing. Perhaps striving for a high standard can motivate even better performance. The problem is that if the perfect standard isn’t met, we would rather not even show up or participate, because perfectionism tells us that a lower performance is actually failure.

It makes us want to hide, or hide our performance completely.

High standards are great—they help us keep working and trying new things. High standards can give us goals and direction.

But perfectionism demands there be no errors at all. It ignores context, interruptions, things beyond our control, and human flaws.

It is a good thing to have high standards. In fact, we should avoid asking perfectionists to lower their standards—because it isn’t a high standard that is a problem.

Instead, learning how to cope with the pressure we put on ourselves and learning how to cope with failure are the bigger problems.

Why should we learn to cope if we experience perfectionism?

Whether perfectionism comes from outside pressures or our own internal ideas, it defeats us if we put too much pressure on ourselves without recognizing accomplishments for what they are.

Perfectionism leaves us feeling lower after an actual achievement. Although we might make progress toward a goal or perform something significant, perfectionism discounts any positive direction we have made.

And, because perfectionism usually focuses on aiming for perfect or flawless performance, it may seem impossible to recover from a true failure. Overall, it keeps us from seeing clearly and adjusting for our next try.

You might say that perfectionism is a bit of a clouded pair of glasses. With it, we can see the high standard in front of us. Yet instead of seeing growth or effort that takes us closer to a goal, we see the distance between that goal and where we are.

Researchers say it creates feelings of helplessness or hopelessness. It can lead to depression, eating disorders, and other significant problems without positive coping strategies. Seeing only our lack makes achievement even less likely, because the goal keeps moving farther and farther away.

After all, what we focus on most we will always get more of. So if we focus on imperfection and how much we didn’t measure up, we are even more likely to fail and not measure up.

Pretty soon, even if we have done well in the past, perfectionism can become a brick wall. If you’ve ever experienced this kind of wall, you know what I’m talking about.

It can be like no matter what you want to do or what your good ideas are, there is just something that keeps you from action.

It might seem like other people or pressures are keeping us from having the time to take action.

There's a voice inside our heads that is busy developing mindset. It's the "chatterbox." Your inner critic or inner voice. Sometimes it is helpful protecting, calming, and comforting you. But, sometimes it tries to keep you from moving outside your comfort zone. Join me in the Podcast for two strategies to calm your chatterbox.

Today, we look at the innter voice inside our heads that is busy developing mindset. It's the "chatterbox." Your inner critic or inner voice. Sometimes it is helpful protecting, calming, and comforting you. But, sometimes it tries to keep you from moving outside your comfort zone. Join me in the Podcast for two strategies to calm your chatterbox.

Mindset is our assumed beliefs, worldview, and unconscious thinking. It frames our experiences in life. Mindset is the key factor in life satisfaction and success, and it can make all the difference in changing. If you want permanent life changes, this is a good place to start.

Mindset is our assumed beliefs, worldview, and unconscious thinking. It frames our experiences in life. Mindset is the key factor in life satisfaction and success, and it can make all the difference in changing. If you want permanent life changes, this is a good place to start.