Wherein, Pierre is trippin, stumblin, flippin, fumblin through the battle of Borodino. After this "baptism of fire" Andrei combats the boredom blues, by getting blasted away and Anatole tries to get a leg up on the situation. That was probably the worst joke this podcast ever used so without further ado... well maybe you should just listen? Sorry.

Wherein, Nikolai becomes Mary's knight in shining armor, the Moscowvians take up a French swear jar in order to donate to the war effort, Pierre waddles off to war, and we all prep for the battle of Borodino. Will Andrei and Pierre's latest "lover's quarrel" be their last? 

Wherein, Mary Bolkonsky grieves over the death of her "not so bad dad."  Bald Hills becomes the home of forgetfulness, and everybody inside nearly forgets to flee the approaching French Army.  For some reason there's petty townspeople drama in Smolensk, culminating in a cook getting her leg blown off... Without a leg to stand on how will our noble Bolkonskys survive this onslaught?  

Wherein, Pierre develops a few new hobbies, devoted to sussing out Napoleon's demonic nature. Andrei rejoins the army and gives some major side eye as the Russians scramble to defend against a French invasion. Nikolai briefly returns home, and discovers the power of family, in rebuilding Natasha's reputation. Natasha becomes religious and Pierre gets the heck out of there.

Wherein, Natasha gets over the post/possible elopement depression, Pierre throttles Anatole, begs Andrei, blurts out his true feelings, and sees a life-changing comet. Meanwhile, Boris snoops on the Emperor and discovers the war is back on, Napoleon snubs Emperor Alexander, and Andrei shares an awkward departure with this strange family. IS THAT A SHINY SPACE ROCK?!?

Wherein, Natasha has a case of the "opera giggles" and falls hard for the bad boy Anatole. Meanwhile, Pierre tried to fill the void inside by drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Mary develops a hate-hate relationship with her sister-in-law to be, as her father's mental stability collapses, Dolokhov writes a love letter and plots an abduction...Hey Balaga, Ho Balaga, Hey, Hey, Hey, Balaga!

Wherein, we spend a weekend in the country with the Rostovs. Pack for some hunting, spur of the moment peasant dances and young love that will surely not be ruined but some meddling old people, set in their ways. P.S. Sonya deserves so much better...

Wherein, Natasha and Andrei fall hard for one another, the Rostovs attend a grand ball, and Mary Bolkonsky's life gets a little bit more complicated. Old Prince Bolkonsky has committed himself to die and dear readers, we discover that all is love and war until it comes down to the in-laws. 

Wherein, Nikolai tires to get a petition signed, Andrei sees an old tree #relatable, and falls hard for young Natasha Rostov.  Will moving house and diving into politics do something to quell these emotions? Or will this all  pale in comparison to Pierre suddenly becoming the unofficial head of the Freemasons? Oh, we will totally free the serfs Pierre, if you just sign this check here...