Drinks with Shrinks

When should you apologize in a family estrangement—and when might an apology actually make things worse? In this episode, we explore the complicated role of apologies in fractured family relationships. We discuss the difference between taking genuine responsibility and apologizing simply to restore contact, why vague or pressured apologies often fail, and how to acknowledge another person’s pain without accepting responsibility for things you don’t believe you did. Most importantly, we look at what makes an apology meaningful, honest, and potentially healing—even when reconciliation isn’t guaranteed.

Separation is often a misunderstood word. When people hear it, they often immediately think of divorce or the end of a relationship, but that’s not necessarily the case. Sometimes, separation can create much-needed space to slow down, reflect, and gain perspective on yourself and your relationship.

In this episode, Jessica and I discuss how intentional separation can provide an opportunity for reflection, contemplation, and emotional processing. We also explore how stepping away from unhealthy patterns can help you reconnect with your values, better understand what you truly want, and make more thoughtful decisions about what comes next. Separation doesn’t always have to mean an ending; sometimes, it can create the space needed for clarity, growth, and meaningful change.

Research across Neuroscience, Psychology, and Relationship Science suggests that pornography can subtly but significantly reshape how partners experience intimacy in a marriage. Frequent consumption conditions the brain’s reward system toward novelty, intensity, and unrealistic sexual scripts, which can dampen satisfaction with a real-life partner over time. This often shows up as reduced desire, increased comparison, or difficulty with emotional attunement during sex. At the relational level, secrecy around porn use can erode trust, while mismatched expectations about sex can create cycles of rejection, shame, and resentment. Over time, couples may find themselves less connected—not just physically, but emotionally—unless they intentionally rebuild transparency, communication, and a shared vision of intimacy.

Antisemitism has surged dramatically since October 7, 2023, leaving Jewish and Israeli students grappling with a profound sense of grief and isolation. As a therapist, I’ve grown increasingly concerned about the rising tide of ignorance and antisemitism within the therapeutic community. Jewish clients frequently share how discriminated against they’ve felt—both by their own therapists and at their schools. That’s why I wanted to explore this issue with a Jewish voice who’s living it firsthand. I’m thrilled to welcome Shai Davidai, a professor of social psychology at Columbia University, to this episode. Together, we’ll dive into the alarming rise of antisemitism on college campuses, trace its origins, and discuss how the therapeutic world can better support our Jewish clients. I hope you find this conversation as enlightening as I do—enjoy the show!

In this episode, we dive into the complexities of intimacy when one partner is unwilling to engage in sex. We explore the emotional and relational challenges this can bring, sharing insights from our experiences as therapists. We also discuss what has helped our clients navigate these situations with understanding, communication, and connection.

In this episode, Peter and Jessica discuss the struggles, fears, and common barriers to parenting adult children. What should parents do? What should these children expect? Hope you enjoy the show! 

In this episode, Peter and Jessica discuss how easy it is for couples to drift apart and essentially become roommates. As clinicians, we observe a common cycle that leads to this situation and offer remedies to address it. We hope you enjoy the show!

Intimacy is often very difficult to maintain. In this episode Peter and Jessica talk about some common misconceptions, guidance, and ways to maneuver and build a more intimate relationship. Hope you enjoy the show!

In this episode, Peter delves into the work of Gregory Lester, an expert in personality disorders. Throughout the episode, you will gain insights into what a personality disorder is, how to identify it, and effective management strategies. Additionally, we address several common misunderstandings clinicians may have about this population and explore ways to provide assistance.

In this episode, Jessica and Peter talk about the need to heal "fast" when there's conflict. When couples don't, they are more prone to sit on their assumptions and create more conflict as time moves on.