Drop A Line

What do we owe each other? Why do good things? These questions posed to us by the TV show 'The Good Place' were an impetus for this episode. This week, we discuss the ways in which we have given and received positivity for no apparent material gain. We share anecdotes of words and actions we have appreciated, and those we intend to practice in our own futures. Lastly, we wrap up our first ever season on 'Drop A Line' with a brief review of our experience with making this podcast.

We sincerely thank each and every person who has liked, shared, listened, reached out, and followed us on this endeavor. Making this podcast was such unchartered territory for us at first, but knowing we had people rooting for us made the experience so worthwhile. We hope you will stay with us, as we will definitely be returning with new content and ideas after hiatus! 

Are we the loneliest generation ever, or are we just better at being alone? 

This week, Edwina and Parita discuss the differences between loneliness and being alone. They challenge that being alone is sometimes necessary for meeting the demands of a constantly evolving and more self-aware society. Being alone can be used to develop opinions, personal functions and goals, and boundaries. However, being alone and loneliness can also go hand-in-hand; they discuss when one experience can lead to another, and how to consciously separate and act on each of these experiences. 

From our experiences as individuals and as participants in our Asian communities in the Caribbean, we realize that there are some struggles that may not be completely unique, but are expressed uniquely because of our position as second-generation Asian people who grew up in the Caribbean, and who may even move out of the Caribbean to experience dating, romance, and prospects of marriage (if any of that is your thing). 

In this episode, we draw from our own experiences and our interpretation of knowing other people's accounts in our own Asian Caribbean community to talk about how "dating consciousness" is formed from children's upbringing in Sint Maarten as second-generation Asian migrants, and how that has informed (some) contemporary experiences and challenges with dating. 

Some of the topics we touch upon are feeling "restricted" particularly as girls and women related to thinking /talking about dating, feeling ill-prepared when actually dating, feeling grief as a result of fraught tightrope walking when talking to your family about who you're dating, and the lack of language around the possibility of dating outside heteronormative expectations. 

We look forward to listeners dropping us lines for anything that we've missed because we know that there is a breadth of complex experiences and insights that you have experienced that we didn't think of covering. Thanks a lot again for your contributions to making this episode! 

In line with the heavier conversations that we've been having about Toxic Masculinity and Discrimination, Parita and Edwina talk about what we as people who have privilege can do to be a better ally (in training). 

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Ally: any person that actively promotes and aspires to advance the culture of inclusion through intentional, positive and conscious efforts that benefit people as a whole.  (definition credits to Forbes- https://bit.ly/31T1XCQ) 

TO BE AN ALLY IS TO...

Take on the struggle as your own.

Stand up, even when you feel scared.

Transfer the benefits of your privilege to those who lack it.

Acknowledge that while you, too, feel pain, the conversation is not about you.

(credits to Guide to Allyship- http://www.guidetoallyship.com/) 

Better Allies' weekly newsletter that offers things  to keep in mind in being a better ally (https://betterallies.com/more-content/). 

For USA listeners, https://www.countable.us/profiles/glaad is where you can go to "Amp Your Voice" on issues you may be passionate about as an ally!

Discrimination. Insidious or blatant. Ignorant or intentional. We’re talking about it. Parita and Edwina share experiences of discrimination and how they have come to process them today. They discuss the evolution of discrimination through time and the social and historical pinning of it in our society today. Furthermore, they offer the steps that they think need to be taken towards fostering a more inclusive, accepting, and empathetic society.

#Post-recording Notes: 

Despite discussing experiences of discrimination, we majorly had this conversation from our own experiences of discrimination. Ultimately, we want to emphasize that reactions to discrimination should prioritize basic safety. We discuss more subtle forms of discrimination that occur in our lives, at the same time, we acknowledge that there are groups and people out there who unfortunately still face blatant discrimination regularly. In the episode, we talk about fostering open dialogue about discrimination, but we know that this may not always be a viable option for those who experience discrimination that jeopardize their mental or physical safety. 

€4000 for a plane ticket back home? Damn. 

In this episode Parita and Edwina talk a bit about what it was and has been like for them to venture out from the comfort of Sint Maarten to start and sustain their lives abroad.  

Are we on the same page when we talk about "toxic masculinity"?  

Do we not think "toxic masculinity" is prevalent because we don't know what it is, and how it is harmful to ourselves and others?  Parita and Edwina discuss their views on toxic masculinity, their experiences and witness accounts of it, and the struggles related to bringing the subject up altogether.  

FYI, in the Netherlands you can get an abortion up until 24 weeks into the pregnancy, but abortions are rarely performed after 22 weeks. If you're interested in knowing more about abortion in the Netherlands, here is a Q&A report on abortion in the Netherlands by the Dutch Ministry of Foreign affairs: https://web.archive.org/web/20080405222048/http://www.hollandnagykovetseg.hu/files/4486929507.pdf  

From our conversation on the podcast, we also looked up different movements in India and Hong Kong respectively that addressed toxic masculinity. We didn't know if there was a conversation around that, but now we know! If you're also interested in taking a look at how these conversations are addressed in some non-European and non-American contexts, here are a couple of links:  

Hong Kong  

India

Lastly, here's the Gillette commercial that Parita brought up during the episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koPmuEyP3a0  

Be free to drop us a line with related material and/or let us know what you think about the contents of this episode!