Uncle Si celebrates being old enough to sit back and rewatch “Gunsmoke” for the hundredth time, leaving the boys to their own devices. Justin Martin’s new fitness tracker starts revealing more than he expected, prompting him to open up about sleep habits, hidden data, and what it was like growing up as the “husky” kid his whole life. John-David runs through his ever-expanding list of irrational fears, from flying to swimming, while Phillip laments the lost footage of his mid-80s breakdancing crew, The Siberian Breakers.

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Martin’s birthday gift immediately has Uncle Si’s Big Brother paranoia spiraling out of control. John-David mines Si’s vast resource of home remedies for all sorts of embarrassing personal problems, but his and Phillip’s beard-growth suggestion may be a step too far. Si reminds everyone of the trigger-happy self-defense clause he works into all his contracts, and the boys lift up a young lady in prayer who was recently faced with a difficult diagnosis.

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John Luke unintentionally shows up dressed in the EXACT same clothes as Uncle Si, sparking jokes that he’s becoming Si’s mini-me. Si gives Jacob a master class in bluffing your opponent, and Martin discovers that kids' toys are way cooler and more useful than they used to be. John Luke looks back on growing up under Phil Robertson’s zero-supervision philosophy, where kids had full access to dangerous tools and it’s honestly a miracle anyone survived. The boys can’t believe John Luke once got dumped for being so good at hunting his then-girlfriend couldn’t handle it.

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Godwin kicks off the episode with the long-awaited announcement that he’s officially a grandpa to twins, sending the whole room into celebration mode. Martin follows up by sharing the hard-earned wisdom he’s picked up raising twins of his own, offering equal parts honesty and encouragement. John-David and Uncle Si then reflect on the quiet strength of mothers and what it reveals when their children’s lives are on the line. The boys swap favorite winter comfort foods and remind listeners that grace belongs right alongside any New Year’s resolutions.

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Uncle Si preps for a new year by roasting 2025, teasing his very non-romantic midnight plans, and getting hopelessly confused about whether the Black Eyed Peas are food, music, or leftovers. John Luke steers the conversation toward reflection and hope, drawing out what Si wants to leave behind and what he’s carrying into 2026. Martin winces as his twins learn a painful bathroom lesson, and John-David gets completely lost but engaged in the flood of Spotify and YouTube Wrapped stats listeners are sending.

Duck Call Room episode #513 is sponsored by:

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Willie’s snowy road-trip panic sets the tone as he’s convinced he’s writing his obituary by text, and Uncle Si tries to pry Willie’s financial secrets out of his assistant Chad with zero success. The boys dive into McRib mishaps, stinky cheeses, and Si proudly predicts Jep’s son to be a sports superstar in the making. John-David wishes for a Hawaiian Punch fountain, but Martin is all about making it to the level of owning a home urinal.

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Uncle Si calls Miss Kay to check in on her, only to catch her mid–procedure with zero patience to spare. She’s back to her fiery, unfiltered self, retelling the infamous story of the Christmas Eve house fire that Phil “fixed” with a chainsaw before heading straight to the duck blind. John Luke gives an update on expecting twins and jokes about big-family chaos, Martin tries to talk him into a vasectomy, and John-David gives a shoutout to baby Oakley, a NICU miracle. Si offers a heartfelt prayer for listeners walking through both joy and hardship this season.

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Uncle Si shares some jaw-dropping family lore, including the deadly Robertson shootout that split the kin, the hot-pepper torture his cousins put him through as a baby, and the claim his aunt was practically a circus-ready bearded lady. Martin can’t get over how mean the Robertson kids were back then, and Phillip is finally ready to retire his Santa suit at the children’s home where he’s worked for 30 years. The boys celebrate John-David officially stepping into the career his 17-year-old self once dreamed about as he’s invited back to his alma mater to speak at Career Day.

Duck Call Room episode #510 is sponsored by:

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Godwin enters the home stretch before entering Grandpa-ville, and Martin relives the chaotic moment a child’s shotgun went rogue and nearly took him out. John-David is over the moon about the wild goose that exploded through a UPS driver’s windshield and somehow flew away, while Si goes from omelet debates to life advice in record time, dropping his signature line about what to do when your life totally stinks. Plus, Phil’s no-shower and “space beam” theories get reality-checked.

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Uncle Si is certain Phil Robertson’s notorious duck dog singled him out for urinary mischief, and Martin can’t believe his ears when Si describes grabbing a supposedly dead deer by the antlers only to be dragged like a rag doll. Jay Stone brings along his adrenaline-junkie former SWAT buddy, Blake Cook, for blood-pumping hunts and his first tumble on the jiu-jitsu mat. John-David loves every minute of Si flipping out over Jase’s nonstop opinions, and a disturbing firsthand encounter has Si laying down his bathroom phone-call boundaries.

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