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You’ll buy the whole Arms & Equipment Guide, but you’ll only need the nine weapons we narrow it down to after we rank the best medieval weaponry. What’s the benefit of a scimitar? Are bows too basic for consideration? Is boiling oil worth the logistical hurdles?

Welcome to all the new listeners at the Duck tier! There’s plenty of QuakStak to go back and listen to.

We also talk about:

• Gwen’s tour!

• Teenage Sex and Death and Camp Miasma!

• Found Footage Festival!

Gary genuinely says one of the most horrible things I've ever heard in my life in this one. Also: Come watch Duckrasier on Saturday, September 26! I have promised to bring something with a lot of "Guppy Energy." https://www.patreon.com/duckfeedtv/posts/duckraiser-help-169857727

In the DS/Wii/Kinect shovelware bonanza, nothing was off limits, including a Guy Fieri show that was just "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" for dummies. Featuring finicky touch screen control versions of bizarre physical challenges, Minute to Win It for the DS is the bottom of the crop. We also talk about the inscrutable musical act that is Puddles' Pity Party.

With the Ripper dead, we join Sam’s sister Jessica at the funeral she’s throwing for Sam and their mother. Little did we know that she’s the reason Sam died, and there’s cults about. This means we’re headed deep into the Universal Brotherhood.

Also Discussed:

• Maria Mercurial

• Street drugs

• Ghouls

Thank you to Darrin Michelson for our art this season, and to Gwen Static for the music!

Mike did a whoopsie and nearly got himself killed, so Gus kidnapped him to Mexico to heal him or make a very important point. Meanwhile, Kim and Jimmy start putting together a plan to save Mr. Acker's land.

Kaye, Dennis, and Moxie talk about Thousand Hells: The Underworld Heists, Aliens: Fire Team Elite 2, struggling with VR hardware, and much more!

The Grind:

• Kaye: Thousand Hells: The Underworld Heists.

• Dennis: Struggling to play iRacing. Succeeding at playing pinball.

• Moxie: Aliens: Fire Team Elite 2.

The Multiplayer:

• What game’s multiplayer scene would you want to revive?

The End Boss:

• Blizzard announces Diablo V.

• Wardogs developer creeps your social media to see if you complain about crunch.

• Steam Frame pricing announced.

Do you love cars? Are you ready to be forced to love a very specific car? That’s what Pacific Drive is all about, you and your car against a bizarre zone of anomalous chaos. It’s not quite horror, and the survival mechanics aren’t everything you’d expect them to be, but this roguelike will challenge you to take care of your station wagon so it will take care of you. It’s just too bad that the story and tone are a shade too cartoony for the gravitas the developers were aiming for.

This is a premium episode! To hear the full version, back us at patreon.com/duckfeedtv.

For the 100th episode of Unfilmable, and our first public episode of the show, we go all the way back to 1932 to talk about Freaks, a pre-code movie that’s often billed as a horror movie but is in reality a surprisingly compassionate morality tale. Cleopatra is a circus performer plotting to seduce and kill Hans, a little person singer, in order to steal his vast inheritance. But the other performers have something to say about that…

This show is public now! Which means give it ratings and reviews and such! Share it!

WHY WILL NO ONE TELL US WHAT THE HOLY TRINITY OF JAMBALAYA IS PUT IT IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU KNOOOOOOW!!!!

Super Morph is a PAL-only puzzle platformer that’s actually pretty neat. A young boy’s neglectful uncle put him into a matter transporter, and now the boy is trapped in flux between different states of matter. He must solve puzzles to find the gears that will fix the machine so he can return to his normal, human form. There are so many 16-bit PAL-only games we never got!

We also discuss the appeal of going dead weight, asking nicely to see airport jail, establishing situational awareness, acquiring paydata, and the rejection of the Order of the Triad Venture Bros. spinoff.