Why We Pursue a stronger ego to address these three issues. 

Survival Reactions and Emotional Triggers

Our survival responses trigger unpleasant emotions like anxiety and anger to indicate potential threats. In nature, once a danger passes, animals can relax and recover. However, humans often continue to ruminate, keeping the body in a state of tension. This can blur the line between our survival instincts and our identity, leading us to believe that these reactions define us.

Lifetime Programming

Societal expectations, often through guilt, intimidation, and shame, condition us from childhood. We’re rewarded for behavior that others deem “good” and criticized for behavior they view as “bad.” This conditioning contributes to an ongoing pursuit of self-esteem, shaping our identity and ego. When we fail to meet these standards, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy.

Our Competitive Nature

Humans are wired to compete for resources, achievements, and social standing. This drive can lead us to build an ego that appears strong and invulnerable. Unfortunately, maintaining this persona can isolate us from genuine connection, as meaningful relationships require vulnerability. Without resources or opportunities to compete, some people may “drop out,” developing an identity shaped by negative self-perceptions.

When we defend our ego, we exacerbate obsessive thought patterns, which are activated and reinforced as RUTS (Repetitive Unpleasant Thoughts). Conscious efforts to overcome these patterns are often unsustainable because our intentions do not match the powerful, ingrained distortions that create many of our thoughts. 

The key to "dissolving" these rigid patterns lies in specific principles. First, separation through awareness allows us to step back and observe these patterns without identifying with them. It’s important to recognize that these thoughts and distortions are not who you are; rather, they create a disconnection from your true self and from others. By identifying and acknowledging cognitive distortions, you begin to loosen their grip. 

Ultimately, the process of awareness itself is transformative—it brings clarity, disconnects you from harmful patterns, and opens the door to healthier, more authentic ways of thinking and being.

Les Aria, PhD – Mendahealth.com

David Hanscom, MD – Backincontrol.com

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Dr. Les Aria and Dr. David Hanscom explore the intertwined nature of physical and emotional pain, emphasizing their shared neurological pathways, distinct characteristics, and the need for holistic approaches to address both types effectively.

Les Aria, PhD – pain psychologist and founding member Menda - www.menda.health.

David Hanscom, MD – orthopedic spine surgeon and author – www.backinconrol.com

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A fundamental concept in neuroscience and human consciousness is that our judgments and views of the world often reflect our internal state. In other words, when we judge others harshly, we are frequently projecting aspects of ourselves onto them. This cyclical nature of

self-judgment and external judgment perpetuates negativity in both directions.

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We tend to view our life view as the correct one and become upset when confronted with conflicting evidence. This perspective becomes embedded in our nervous system with repetition and time, and we develop mental rigidity.

Quote: Here are some thought-provoking quotes that address the impact of mental rigidity on life perspective and overall quality of life:

Define Mental Rigidity

Mental rigidity is a cognitive state characterized by an inflexible, closed mindset that resists change, adaptation, or new perspectives. Individuals with mental rigidity often struggle to consider alternative viewpoints, adapt to new information, or adjust their beliefs or behaviors in response to evolving circumstances. This rigid way of thinking can lead to difficulty coping with life's challenges, missed opportunities for growth, and strained relationships, as it limits one's

ability to see beyond a narrow, fixed perspective. In essence, mental rigidity prevents a person from embracing the flexibility and open-mindedness necessary for personal development and resilience.

Mental rigidity is a core trait spanning almost every mental health scenario. Why?

Mental rigidity is often present in psychological diagnoses because it represents an underlying difficulty in adapting thoughts, behaviors, or emotions to changing circumstances, which is a

core aspect of many mental health conditions. Here are a few reasons why:

Ultimately, mental rigidity is often both a symptom and a reinforcing factor in psychological diagnoses. It limits emotional and cognitive flexibility, making it difficult for individuals

to break out of unhelpful patterns and move toward healthier perspectives and behaviors.

David Hanscom, MD – www.backincontrol.com

Les Aria, PhD – www.menda.com

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Joy is at the core of living a good and rewarding life. In order to achieve this state you must learn to be vulnerable, which we inherently don’t tolerate well. A major defense against feeling vulnerable (anxious) is mental rigidity. You cannot feel and maintain joy unless you feel safe. Join David Hanscom, MD and Les Aria, Ph.D as they explore ways to increase the joy in your life.

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This podcast looks at gratitude as a powerful tool in regulating your flight or fight physiology to that of safety. You are allowing your body to heal itself. However, gratitude is not a bypass to counteract threat physiology, which has to be addressed as a separate, but linked effort. To have a good life, you must live a good life. It takes practice and nurturing gratitude is one of the core concepts.

Catch the Gratitude wave! Sign up to see the film for free https://mindbodyspirit.fm/showcase/gratitude/

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Les Aria PhD Pain Psychologist

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In this episode, Les Aria, PhD and David Hanscom , MD are hosting a special guest, Dr. Michael Stein. 

Michael Stein, MD is an award-winning author of six novels and four books of non-fiction. He is professor of health policy at the Boston University School of Public Health and executive editor of PublicHealthPost.org. The book we are discussing in this episode is Accidental Kindness. 

He is an internist who has looked at the effects of both positive and negative interactions with their physicians. Physicians are charged to care for their patients at the deepest level there are many forces that interfere with this interaction. 

There are many actions we take that can be received as being kind or not. Kindness is not a concept that we are taught in our training. Yet the data shows it is not only a powerful healing force but is at the core of being a medical professional. We had a wonderful time listening to his thoughts and insights and he is well ahead of his time.

Michael Stein M.D. find out more

David Hanscom M.D.

Les Aria, PhD Pain Psychologist

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Although there are additional demands of the Holiday season there are additional stresses that can contribute to Holiday chaos. Creating an awareness of the triggers allows you to develop strategies to navigate them and enjoy your time with your family and friends. 

The Holidays are stressful and although we all want to experience peace and joy, it is challenging to do so. So, dashed hopes and expectations make it even worse. There are ways to have a joyful Holiday season and understanding the factors that sabotage it are the first step. The key is learning to understand and process your triggers, regardless of the circumstances.

Do You Really Need Spine Surgery? by Dr. David Hanscom

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Find out more about Dr. David Hanscom here

Dr. Les Aria Ph.D Pain Psychologist

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Being triggered and stressed is so common during the holidays is so common that it is somewhat normalized. There are many ways to enjoy your family during this time of year regardless of their behaviors and your stresses. It is a season of peace and joy.

Keep your perspective! Know you are an adult, and you have choices. Keep focused on who or what is important to you. How do you wish to show up for the holidays? Practicing the skills we discussed, especially noticing when you are triggered and doing something about it will help you keep your love, peace, and joy during the holidays. As always –be kind to yourself. Let the Holidays begin!

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Love is more than a concept. It is a physiological state of safety – profoundly healing. Why? There are many types of love and here are five examples. The common link is being connected to yourself and others. 

· Passionate love (Romantic love)

· Family love

· Friendship love

· Mankind (human race) and things on this earth

· Self Love

Essence of chronic mental and physical disease is prolonged exposure to threat physiology. It is well documented that CHRONIC stress kills. Note the chemistry of love, which is the opposite of the physiology of chronic stress. Chemistry of love consists of:

· Anti-inflammatory cytokines

· Oxytocin – core hormone of love/ bonding – powerfully anti-inflammatory

· Dopamine

· Serotonin

· Growth hormone

· Anabolic

The podcast finishes with an exercise to generate self-love on the run. Self-love is always the starting point. Be kind to yourself.

Connect with David Hanscom, MD and Les Aria, PhD Pain Psychologist

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