El Podcast

E180: Attraction & Disgust: Evolutionary Psychology Explained (Dr. Deb Lieberman)


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Evolutionary psychologist Debra Lieberman explains how “disgust” and other built-in mental programs shape attraction, kinship, morality, and even law—while modern technology and social media scramble the cues those systems evolved to track.

Guest bio:

Dr. Debra Lieberman is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami and an evolutionary psychologist who studies how evolved “mental apps” shape social life—kinship, cooperation, morality, sexuality, and emotions. She’s the co-author of Objection: Disgust, Morality, and the Law.

Topics discussed:
  • What makes someone “hot”: symmetry, hormonal cues, and universal vs learned templates
  • Male vs female mate preferences (fertility cues; resource/provisioning cues; kindness/safety)
  • Disgust as an evolved system for pathogen avoidance (food, touch/contact, sex)
  • Incest avoidance, the Westermarck effect, kibbutzim and “minor marriages” evidence
  • Sexual reproduction, pathogens, and why “mixing the gene pool” matters
  • How disgust bleeds into moral judgment and law; coalitions and social leverage
  • Why modernity/tech changes the payoff of ancient intuitions
  • Gratitude as a “sleeper” universal emotion that jumpstarts friendship
  • Her evolutionary psychology textbook + MediaByte project
Main points:
  • Attraction isn’t “simple”—it’s output. Your brain runs hidden machinery that converts cues into a gut-level “hot/not.”
  • Symmetry functions like a health certificate. It’s hard to build a symmetric body; disruption from disease/mutations makes symmetry informative.
  • Men’s and women’s preferences differ on average, but share a template. Men track fertility-linked cues; women track resource acquisition/investment cues—plus kindness/safety as a major predictor.
  • Disgust is a multi-purpose regulator. It steers eating, contact, sex, and social avoidance by tracking contamination risk and other fitness costs.
  • Incest avoidance relies on cues, not DNA tests. Early co-residence can trigger “this is kin” psychology even when people aren’t related (Westermarck effect).
  • Modern abundance doesn’t erase ancient wiring. People calibrate to local “baselines” and still compete relative to that baseline.
  • Moral disgust can be weaponized. Disgust language can rally coalitions (“those people are disgusting/bad”) and support punishment, including via law.
  • Gratitude is an underappreciated social engine. It flags “this person values me more than expected,” helping form alliances beyond kin.
Top quotes:
  • Beauty is in the adaptation of the beholder.
  • “We’re not frogs… we have a very specific human operating system that guides us toward certain features and away from others.”
  • Symmetry is hard to build—it can act like a kind of health certificate.”
  • “Women track resource acquisition… but one of the most critical traits is kindness—it signals safety.”
  • “You smell something off and you don’t eat it—you’re not thinking ‘pathogens’… you’re thinking ‘ew’.”
  • “There’s no one-size-fits-all disgust; it depends on what you were calibrated to as ‘normal.’”
  • “If morality were just cooperation… why wouldn’t heterosexual men celebrate gay men for reducing competition?”
  • “Gratitude is triggered when someone shows they value you more than you expected—it jumpstarts friendship.”

🎙 The Pod is hosted by Jesse Wright
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