Echoes from the Caverns

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with a wonderful poem by Themo Lock. It is entitled

A Beastly Exhibition

Background music by Smartsound

Kevin was a visionary, a farmer and a showman,

his farm had recently been struck by flood, he took it as an omen.

The land was in proximity to the bustling Brittany Fields,

he had a plan that would surely profit more than agricultural yields.

He would build a grand bestiary… a pay-to-spectate zoo,

and fill it with every creature known, from wolf to bugaboo.

So far he had a horse, 2 sheep and a mildly distempered bear,

and was in negotiations to acquire a crocodilian breeding pair.

Construction was already underway, he was renovating the stable,

hammer in hand, Kevin perched atop a ladder that was quite unstable.

It’s dietary needs misunderstood the bear ate its curry but wasn’t well,

the beast’s rear let out a trumpet blast that’s volume was rivalled only by its smell.

Alarmed by the sudden demonic turn, the sheep charged blindly at the wall,

the impact jarring the rickety ladder which in turn began to fall.

Kevin’s trousers caught a loose nail, leaving him temporarily suspended,

then with the sound of tearing cloth.. pants remained but Kevin descended.

He landed on a panicked sheep and he grabbed the creature to prevent its escape,

and looked his naked torso over in relief that he barely suffered a scrape.

The bear however was enraged and confused and broke free from its stall,

startled further by Kevin’s womanly screams it burst right through the wall.

The entire side of the barn collapsed in a noisy, dusty cloud,

leaving the half naked Kevin clutching a sheep in full view of a gathering crowd.

He would have thought himself in a nightmare if he only was asleep,

as realization set in that it appeared as if he was a little too fond of sheep.

A woman screamed and covered the eyes of her giggling and pointing child,

anger spread, a guard was called, the crowd was quickly getting riled.

“What in the abyss is this?!” questioned the guard as he fumbled with his sword,

“A mishap with my bestiary” Kevin squeaked “Nothing untoward”.

“Bestiary!?” the shocked guard exclaimed “That is illegal and obscene!”

“What? NO, WAIT…” Kevin gasped “That isn’t what that word means.”

The guard was having none of this and Kevin was violently arrested,

on charges that would never be dropped no matter how much he protested.

Meanwhile in Rajim’s Curry Hut patrons were caught unaware,

as the seaside restaurant was unexpectedly stormed by a berserk, farting bear.

The events of that day would never be discussed in company that was polite,

and unfortunately for Kevin, the truth of what transpired would never come to light.

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* Play Release 35 Now!

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with the next exciting instalment in

The story of Kobold Skrek’Kex

Written by Kobold Skrek’Kex

Background music by Smartsound

Chapter 3

Skrek’Kex nervously paced the living room in his dwelling. Heading out to search for a dragon! And all because he had wanted to eat a tiiiny slice of pumpkin pie – it was really unfair. His stomach rumbled in agreement. Well, a kobold must do what a kobold must do. And although kobold expeditions had the tendency to end deadly and in general were rather uncomfortable affairs, there were positive aspects about them, too. First and foremost, redeeming himself in the eyes of the fearless leader. It also held a certain allure to the cunning kobold, to go where not many kobolds had ventured before. There were so many secrets to learn, tricks to be played, things to be borrowed… If he played this just right, he’d be greatly rewarded and forever held in veneration. Skrek’Kex vivid imagination showed him himself, riding on a huge spider-beast, followed by a trail of obedient human slaves carrying chests of loot, back into the Caverns of Skrekk. He saw himself riding along the narrow cavern corridors, lined with kobolds all aah-ing and ooh-ing in deep respect for the dauntless explorer. He held a huge iridescent dragon scale, craftily made into a kobold-sized shield for the Grakkhaz, which had been gifted to him by the dragon as a sign of their alliance. The dragon he had been able to persuade into alliance with the kobolds in exchange for the incessant devotions of his worshippers, the dragon whose voice he would operate from now on.

A loud knock startled Skrek’Kex from his day dreams. “Yeeesssh?” he asked. Without further ado Zap’Hex entered. Skrek’Kex bowed deeply before the old magician, partly out of reverence for the wise kobold and partly ingrained after years of attending his teachings – and beatings. And promptly the older kobold hit Skrek’Kex on his head with his pine staff. Stunned Skrek’Kex fell onto his bottom “Yoouch…” rubbing his head with one hand and holding the other up protectively he cautiously looked up at the elderly kobold. Zap’Hex narrowed his eyes and hissed “You fool! What in Kurtulmak’s name possesses you to these follies? I know you are not stupid, but sometimes..!” Shaking his head and sighing the elderly kobold sat down onto a kobold bench. “I was of a mind to just let the Grakkhaz know what it was *really* you brought him there.” The old mage harrumphed and hmphed some more, shaking his head. “Kex… I hope one day you will learn the wisdom of looking ahead before acting.” Skrek’Kex, silently, thought to himself that this was an unfair assessment. He had looked ahead – there had been pie to be had. In his opinion Zap’Hex truly and foolishly undervalued a good meal.

“Anyways” Zap’Hex continued after the silence had lasted for a while “I have not come to lecture you again on this, but I have come to make sure you leave prepared. Do not underestimate the task ahead of you. Even though the Grakkhaz is going to send a sizable exploration party, dragons are moody and erratic even at their best. And there will be more than just dragons. Here in Norgard we know the neighboring hooman tribes, we know their follies and their weaknesses, we know where they camp and where they hunt. But the mainland hooman tribes are different and mostly unknown to us. It has been in my grandfathers-grandfathers days we last sent an exploration party this far. To be honest, it might be too ambitious a task to survive, but the esteem our tribe could garner if we only had a dragon to worship… With the hoomans hunting them the dragons have become careful and most Elder Dragons have removed themselves to more remote places neither us nor the hoomans can easily reach. The foolish younger ones which still hunt close to the hooman lands mostly don’t grow old and are not worth w...

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* Roving Encounters

* The Making of Elad’s Lighthouse

* The Making of Harvest (cont)

* The Making of Graff Island (cont)

* Critical Hit Change (R34) and Upcoming Interrupt Change (R35)

* Encumbrance Changes (R35)

* Gold Crown Merchants Update

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with the next exciting chapter of

The Story of Kobold Skrek’Kex

Written by Kobold Skrek’Kex

Background music by Smartsound

Chapter 2

Skrek’Kex was unable to wind out of the vice like grip of the much bigger Kobold and whimpered a little. What had started as a fool proof plan was certainly not going as he had expected! The great hall they had entered was dimly illuminated by torches. It was decorated in classic Kobold, lots of metal and red velvet dominating the scene. In the middle of the great hall on a dragon bone throne sat a huge Kobold scaled in a sickly green and yellow. He was not only very tall for a Kobold but also possessed immense girth which his studded leather jerkin and pants struggled to contain. On his clawed fingers he wore bejewelled golden rings in abundance, and his head was adorned by a large bear head, the teeth having been replaced by craftily cut rubies.

As Skrek’Kex and his escort entered, the great Grakkazh was busy whacking a Kobold in a purple and orange jester’s dress on the head with a turkey drumstick. “Nooo!” he bellowed at the jester “Grakkazh not like! NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!”. The jester ducked and whimpered “Me’se sorry for not pleasing Great Grakkhaz! Njoghgrok can do another trick, please!” The Grakhkazh had meanwhile noticed Skrek’Kex and eyed him with disdain. With a dismissive gesture towards the jester, who gladly and hurriedly left the room, he turned toward the guard “Why you bring trash in my hall, Kraz’Boom?” suddenly his eyes narrowed “HAS HE DONE SOMETHING TO MY PRECIOUS BARBELED DRAGONFISH?!” he shouted, and before having ended the sentence the Grakkhaz, with an astonishing speed for a Kobold his size, had jumped up and violently knocked the dinner table in front of him over so that the plates and tumblers on the table flew across the room.

“No, oh your magnificent Dreadfulness!” Skrek’Kex hastily squeaked while he cowered in anticipation of another violent outburst. “Skrek’Kex would never touch holy fish! Accident with holy fish last time was a very bad misunderstanding, Skrek’Kex swear!” after the dreaded beating had not happened yet Skrek’Kex relaxed a little and, from his cowering position, looked up at the Grakkhaz who now stood in front of him, tapping his claws impatiently against the shaft of his huge spiked mace. “So?” the Grakkhaz asked. Skrek’Kex nodded hastily “Me’se bring important and troubling news from the hoomaz! Facing grave dangers, all for the good of the tribe, Skrek’Kex has managed to acquire this from the stores of a mighty wizard. Me thinks the hoomaz are planning to attack!” he explained and eagerly presented the Grakkhaz with the crumpled paper.

Impatiently the Grakkhaz snatched the paper from Skrek’Kex outstretched claw. Turning it up and down and left and right he harrumphed a few times meaningfully. Although the Grakkhaz was far from stupid, he had never learned to read anything but basic Kobold. There was always one of the skinny brainy types around to do his bidding in exchange for a non-beating after all! After a few more acknowledging grunts the Grakkhaz felt he had shown enough that he understood the importance of the document and bellowed “Zap’Hex! To me!” And only a few moments later a small gnarled Kobold in purple and golden robes with an intricate feathered headdress walking with the help of a silver cane entered the hall from a door in the back. “Yes, your Maleficience?” he asked “Do you have need of my services?” With a grunt the Grakkhaz shoved the even more crumpled paper towards the court magician. Zap’Hex gingerly tried to smooth the paper out and with his index claw pushed his wire frame glasses up a bit.

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* Darkstarr Joins Lord British for the Ultima Dragons 25th Anniversary Event

* The Making of Harvest (Unclone)

* CThe Making of Graff Island (Unclone)

* Darkstarr Moondial Update

* POT Spotlight: Silverhold

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with the first instalment of a wonderful tale from Kobold Skrek’Kex.

It is entitled

The Story of Kobold Skrek’Kex

Background music by Smartsound

Chapter 1

A rich smell of flour, sugar, nutmeg and pumpkin wavered through the small rocky paths of the Caverns of Skrekk and found its way into the eagerly quivering nostrils of a small brownishly scaled Kobold stopping the creature right in its tracks. “Oooh, pumpkin pie!!” the creature thought to itself and eagerly rubbed his clawed hands together. Trying to track the scent the Kobold turned his head left and right and quickly began following the scent through the convoluted caverns. “Out of the way! I’se is on urgent buziness!” Skrek’Kex exclaimed when another Kobold was blocking his much desired path. Following the turns and twists of the caves, the delicious smell intensified. Finally, Skrek’Kex was standing at the entrance to another part of the caves, but found his way blocked by a gate and a tall, well muscled Kobold with red and black scales. The big Kobold looked with cold yellow eyes down onto the much smaller Kobold. “Go away, Dobkop!” the Kobold blaffed, baring his impressively long and pointed teeth and gripping his Polearm tighter. Skrek’Kex stopped, taking care to not stand to close to the guard, and trippled nervously from one scaly foot to the other. “B..But I’se has urgrnt buziness with…” taking a quick look at the sign proclaiming whose residence he intended to enter “the Grakkhaz!”. “Psh, Skrek’Kex such a liar. Why would important Grakkazh want to meet with tiny weak liar?” the guard shook his head, then pointed with the polearm at Skrek’Kex. “Now offse you go or I offse your head!” he said and swung his polearm in a quick strike that made Skrek’Kex jump back a little.

The small Kobold was conflicted. He really *really* wanted some delicious pumpkin pie, but alas, one could not eat pumpkin pie without a head. The Grakkazh was also notoriously ill-tempered and through a series of misfortunes, which were totally not Skrek’Kex’ fault, as the Kobold had assured himself and also the Grakkazh repeatedly, the latter to no avail unfortunately, he was not sure if it was wise to be seen by the Great One after such a short time again. But, then again, it was pumpkin pie, the second most delicious thing known to Skrek’Kex. The only thing better than pumpkin pie being of course fish. Skrek’Kex produced a crumpled paper from his pocket. He had pocketed this from one of his latest expeditions into the human territory. He had liked the colorful markings on the paper although he had not been able to make heads nor tail of it. The written words on it were hard to read – even harder than most human handwriting for Skrek’Kex had studied humans and acquired some skill in their tongue – and the sketchy drawings placed at odd intervals on the page had no apparent relation to anything Skrek’Kex had ever seen. There was even a drawing of a figure with a human upper body and a fish tail on it, Skrek’Kex found that very odd. He had never heard of such a creature. If he ever found such an animal he’d love to eat it though! “Lookse, I have found plans a mighty hooman wizard made!” he said, waving the child’s drawing in his hand. The guard hrmphed, then came closer to take a look. “I think they want to attack Skrekk!” Skrek’Kex pointed at some words on the paper and a crude drawing of a Norgard Knight. “It is most urgent I should show this to the Grakkazh!”

The guard slowly pondered the matter. Skrek’Kex was a known nuisance in the caverns – but he was also known to be clever and often ventured into the human territory,

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with another wonderful story from Cianna. It is entitled

They Call her Lady Warrior, Chapter 4

(This is the continuation of the ongoing adventures of Cianna and Nick)

Background music by Smartsound

 

Friend or Foe?

Cianna sat up gingerly, raising a hand to her splitting head. She found herself half-propped against an old oak tree. There was no sign of Nick, nor the two ruffians they had been fighting.

“What the blazes happened,” Cianna asked aloud, still rubbing the knot on her head.

“You all right, miss?”

Cianna turned sharply, groaning as the world spun around for a moment, then settled her eyes on a guard standing a few feet away. He, too, was gingerly rubbing his head.

“You all right?” he repeated, concern showing on his face.

“I think so,” Cianna said, trying to stand. “Did you see the men who were here?”

“I saw two of them, briefly.” He smiled ruefully. “They took a sword hilt to my head as soon as I walked up to them. When I woke up, you were the only one here, milady. And by the looks of it, you took a sword hilt to the head, as well.”

Unlikely, Cianna thought to herself. She had taken down her combatant and had turned to help Nick. As it turns out, he had already taken down his opponent, as well. So who hit her? she wondered. That only leaves…

“Nick.”

“Beg pardon, miss?”

“Nothing, good sir, nothing. I’m just a bit muddled right now.”

“I hear ya there, miss. Well, if you’re sure you’re alright, I’ll be off to make a report to my superiors.”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

The guard made his way to the road and headed back toward Soltown, making a parting wave at Cianna as he went. As soon as he was out of earshot, Cianna exploded.

“Nick, you son of a whoring kobold!”

“Whoa, whoa, little lady. Is that anyway to speak to your betrothed?”

Cianna whipped around, looking for the owner of that familiar voice.

“Nick? Where…?”

“Up here.”

Cianna looked up. Nick, trussed and dangling from a sturdy tree branch, swayed above her. “Hello,” he said, grinning.

“By the Four, how did you get up there?”

“Well, I had some assistance.” He squirmed a bit as the ropes cut into his wrists and ankles. “A little help might be in order here,” he said.

“No.”

“No?” Nick looked down at her in surprise.

“No. Not until you tell me what happened.” She glared up at him. “Did you hit me?”

“Hit you? Milady, I can’t believe you’d even say such a thing. Hit you? Not if they held my feet in fire and tore my tongue out. Not if they cut out my beating heart and fed it to a dragon. Hit you? Never. I am deeply wounded you would even think such a thing.”

Cianna felt her anger begin to dissipate.

“But…” he continued, just as she was about to smile.

“But…?” she said warily.

“I might have magicked you just a little.”

Cianna’s voice became brittle.

“You did what?”

“Um, used magic on you. Just a little. Hardly worth mentioning at all. Really. Just a little stun.” His voice faded off.

Cianna stood looking up at him, a stunned expression on her face. She felt her aching head again.

“Hardly a little stun. Why in the Lady’s name would you do that?” she asked.

“Well,” Nick said, “I just…um…just wanted to keep you safe and I…um…was afraid you’d try to get those men to take you to Rats Nest and…...