Hello, My Loves!
I just wanted to do a (not so quick) life update for you as you all have been seated front row watching me shape-shift as I navigate moving out of living through the lens of my shadow and into a place where I’m living more soulfully, authentically and balanced energetically. I know I’ve been gone for alittle while, but I’d never come back empty handed ;)
The energy this eclipse season was INTENSE for me in the mist of all these major transitions I’ve already been undergoing! However, I am truly starting to feel the breath of fresh air from this new wave of energy - and i’m glad I was able to really prepare to bloom in it by tending to myself and emotional needs first. I would argue that this work is more important than anything you can do in your lifetime. More than your career. More than how you give to your family. More than anything!! It makes or breaks your ability to co-create from a true flow-state with the universe and actually manifest what you want in the world. Hear me when I say: those around you can wait for you. They will benefit greatly in the end, too.
It is really fucking hard to sit in the discomfort of your own transitions and to learn how to release control of it all. I am so proud of myself for facing it head on!! I am consistently choosing making wiser choices via the dismantlement of past patterns. Consistently stepping up to all the “tests” of my commitment to my soul’s mission. I am learning how to choose me and the timeline of my higher self - time and time again.
I’ve been working on myself and my internal development for SO LONG that sometimes it feels like there is no progress on the physical end of things. I know I say it all the time, but it is so important to understand that you cannot expect to SEE changes in your outer reality without staying committed to making the necessary changes in your inner world FIRST.
Baby it’s one thing to read the books, to learn all the things and to become aware of what you need to work on… but it’s a TOTALLY different thing to actually integrate that knowledge and choose to embody that more evolved version of yourself in your daily actions. Even when it’s hard, even when your ego thinks it knows best, even when no one else understands where you are on your own journey or why you’re doing what you’re doing, even when money is looking low, even when people think you’re crazy 😭 and ESPECIALLY when your own limiting beliefs start showing up trying to pull you back down into old cycles, bad habits and patterns. It really do be your own self, lol. Take it from a person who used to constantly beat herself up when she fell short of her own nonsense expectations. Your shadows need nourishment in order to evolve. It takes time and consistent effort. Love on all of you! Trust deeply in the rhythms of your own process. You don’t have to do it alone, you just have to do it consciously.
Through the fog, I have found some more clarity in what my next direction needs to be and how to execute it. I am excited to share those updates in the audio attached!
Here are some of the major pointers I’ve learned, but be sure to listen to the full audio in order to receive all the full storyline of how I came to these conclusions and what to expect from me next :)
* Just “pushing through” isn’t always the flex you think it is. Sometimes it can keep you in a cycle of unconscious dissatisfaction because you’re putting soooo much energy into NOT feeling the things that have hurt you instead of just feeling them so they can be released. When you hold on to so much, you end up projecting that pain onto everyone and everything you do in life, even if it’s completely unconscious. Who wants to be bound to their own suffering?
* One of the most difficult parts of choosing to live a sovereign and surrendered life - is taking the necessary time and space to grieve the way you thought things would be. Even if you found yourself making plans with good intentions, sometimes you experience push back over and over because “your way “is not “the way” that source intended for you. Giving yourself permission to lay to rest your small-minded plan(s) creates space for the divine to step in and take over where it is supposed to, without any resistance from your own blockages.
Straight from source: “If you can give yourself the time feel it and truly let it go now, you can release it for good and the emotion you’ve attached to it won’t contaminate of the culmination of your future creations.”
* I am so grateful that I did not receive what I thought I wanted, when I thought I wanted it. Everyday I’m thanking source for holding certain things back for the betterment of my own growth. As I am finding more comfort in sitting in a surrendered place, I am constantly seeing from a higher perspective how many of the setbacks I’ve experienced were so important for my development, for giving me more time to root down in purpose, and to strengthen my commitment to my own soul’s mission. I deserved to feel empowered by my own light before sharing it with anyone or pouring too much into anything else.
* Sometimes you need to just get up and start moving. Trust that you will be divinely led through your process for as long as you stay open to receiving direction. It is easier said than done, but refuse to let the shadow of your ego take over. You are safe to relax. Teach your body this through daily practices that help to soothe the urgency of your nervous system. The longer you can sit still, the more you widen your capacity to receive and hold the desires that are already seeking you.
* If you want the people in your life to show up in strength in your relationships, sometimes it’s necessary to give them the space to find it on their own first. For as long as you continue to “"hold the pose” for what you want to see reflected back to you in your relationships instead of trying to push, persuade, control or force - you are creating an energy around you that shows people exactly what is expected of them in order to be in your presence. Everyone has free will, and not everyone will choose step up to meet you where you are. If you choose to lower or sacrifice your own needs and values to meet people at their level, you will constantly find yourself in relationship with others (lovers and friends) who fall short of your souls true desires. Remember who you are. Set the necessary boundaries needed to sustain the safety and peace you already have within you.
* No matter how disruptive you become to the lives of others as their shadows come to light when illuminated by your aura, you can stand firmly in your light, power and strength knowing that things aren’t always they seem and sometimes people are just fighting their own demons when in contact with you. If you have taken the time and effort to dismantle your own ego and haven chosen to walk a path of love - you can trust that you have created a foundation for yourself that allows you to trust your knowledge, trust what you see, trust what you feel and trust that you are equipped with the graceful ability to express all of that confidently. Learn to allow the ecstasy of that (which is the result of you walking in your purpose!) to do it’s work through others, without thinking too much about the surface tension of it as it unfolds. This helps you to stand in your truth without taking on the heavy projections of others and their own wounds. You will always positively shift who you are meant to shift and that needs to be your only focus. Those who fall short were never meant to experience the transformative alchemy that your energy has the potential create in the lives of others.
* Going against or ignoring your intuition is not only painful on a soul level - but it is also super disrespectful to the source who gave it to you. Next time you feel the urge to let your ego win by doing something that is in complete opposition to what you know is right, remind yourself that you are letting yourself fall short of your own spiritual intelligence and potentially repeating karmic cycles every time you choose to act against your intuitive hits.
I really hope this was helpful!! I am speaking from raw experience and I’m still deep in my own process of anchoring all of this down into something that’s more tangible. But, I’m real life no longer tethered to my own fears, worries, resentments and anxieties. I don’t have to push or force because I’ve rid myself of everything that doesn’t serve me. I’ve created a BEAUTIFUL environment for everything that is for me - to find me. Thanks to the lessons of it all… I know I’ve developed enough mentally, spiritually and emotionally to be able to sustain it all when “it” arrives.
I don’t even know how I know yet but this is really my season, yal.
Thankyou for being here, and I can’t wait to keep growing with you!!
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