Mark Resnick’s father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2014. Five years later, as the disease progressed and COVID began to shut down the country, Mark was plunged into the intimate world of caring for a loved one with a dementia diagnosis in the middle of a pandemic.

Mark learned more about himself and his dad than he ever anticipated. The result is Ten Days with Dad: Finding Purpose, Passion, & Peace During The Darkest Days of Alzheimer's and COVID-19.

Join us for this episode of Eldercare Illuminated to hear Mark explain what those dark days revealed and how his lifelong ambition to write a book “happened.” Somehow, Mark’s journaling habit resulted in a book that shares life lessons through stories of his youth and his father’s Alzheimer’s journey. Part memoir, part homage to Dad, Ten Days follows Mark’s childhood, being raised with his two brothers by a single father in the suburbs of Boston to his days as his father’s primary caregiver.

About Our Guest:

Father, son, brother, husband, coach: Mark Resnick has had many roles. He explores how these relationships and responsibilities have affected his outlook and the way he lives his life today. Learn more about Mark or reach out to him via his website at https://www.markjresnick.com.

The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) is a U.S. law that requires covered employers to provide employees with protected, unpaid leave for certain medical and family reasons. Yet, many Americans are unsure of the ways in which FMLA could make a significant difference in their ability to meet parenting or caregiving responsibilities as a working person. Join Torchlight host Stefanie Boucher for a conversation with Teri Weber, a partner and Senior Vice President at Spring Consulting group and subject matter expert on employee benefits and absence management programs, including FMLA. In this episode, you’ll learn about:

•FMLA basics, including who is eligible to use FMLA and what criteria must be met;
•How to talk to your employer about using FMLA to meet medical or family needs;
•What to do if you’re getting resistance from your employer; and,
•More!

About Our Guest:

Teri Weber is a partner and Senior Vice President with Spring Consulting Group. She has over 15 years of experience in health and welfare plan strategy, design, and implementation. In addition, she is a subject matter expert on absence management programs, including disability, family medical leave, and leave of absence tracking. Her areas of expertise have allowed her to work with diverse employers and vendors to streamline processes and programs to meet the needs of both employers and employees. Teri holds a BS from the University of Connecticut and an MBA from the University of Massachusetts.

Are you caring for a seriously ill loved one? If so, perhaps there are moments when you feel overwhelmed or even powerless as you try to get (and give) your loved one the best possible care. In this episode, join Torchlight hosts Lenore Tracey and Stefanie Boucher for a conversation with Erin Mulqueen Galyean, author of Badass Advocate: Becoming the Champion Your Seriously Ill Loved One Deserves. Whether your child or loved one is hospitalized or at home, listen to learn how to:

- Build a support team for you and the patient and ask for help when you need it;
- Overcome fear of authority figures and ask doctors effective questions;
- Balance self-care with patient care; and,
- More!

About Our Guest:

Erin Mulqueen Galyean is an author and speaker who trains sales professionals in effective communication with healthcare providers. She lost her father to Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 1997 and her sister to a rare lung disease in 2018. Fueled by these heartbreaking experiences, Erin helps others become powerful advocates for the seriously ill loved ones in their lives.

People are encouraged to plan for retirement (Save money!) and dying (Make a will!). But many of us — maybe most of us — forget that there can be a long (and expensive) time in between.

In this episode, host Lenore Tracey talks with author, humorist, and elder law attorney Cathy Sikorski. Cathy’s new book, 12 Conversations: How To Talk to Almost Anyone About Long-Term Care Planning gives caregivers and future care recipients — all of us — reasons to talk to each other about how we’ll pay for care and what types of care we want. Better yet, Cathy gives us the language to deal with these conversations, no matter who you’re talking to — Mom, Dad, your grown-up kids, your Uncle Fred, your doctor, or your mom’s doctor.

Check out what long-term care care costs where you (or your loved one) live: https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care.html. Best to be sitting down when you do this! Then commit to having those important conversations with the people you love.

*Genworth Financial 2021 Cost of Care Survey

About Our Guest:

Cathy Sikorski has been a caregiver for the last 25 years for eight different family members and friends. A published author and humorist, Sikorski is also a practicing elder law attorney. Her legal expertise and sense of humor have made her a sought-after speaker where she tackles the legal issues that affect those who will one day be or need a caregiver (which is everyone).

Cathy’s most recent book, 12 Conversations: How To Talk to Almost Anyone About Long-Term Care Planning offers practical advice for discussing this difficult topic with your aging parents, your adult children, your siblings, your spouse, and other key players you will meet as a caregiver - or a care recipient. Cathy’s wicked sense of humor and commitment to straight talk will prepare you to get through these conversations successfully - maybe even gracefully!

Cathy’s first book was a memoir, Showering with Nana: Confessions of a Serial (killer) Caregiver. That was followed by Who Moved My Teeth? - a humorous and informative book with practical and legal tips for caregivers and baby boomers. Cathy maintains an active blog “You just have to Laugh…where Caregiving is Comedy…”.

If you’re looking for a book to create an engrossing TV series, Kate Washington’s Already Toast should be high on your list. Published in March 2021, the book chronicles Kate’s life as a caregiver after her husband is diagnosed with a rare cancer. Lenore Tracey, host of Eldercare Illuminated, spoke with Kate about what it was like for her as the trajectory of her life is turned upside down.

Sailing into their 40s with no expectation of the disaster that was about to strike, Kate and her husband were raising two children, working, and enjoying successful careers in sunny California. This is the story of their family, plunged into the murky waters of caregiving. It highlights the distressingly inadequate systems that support American families when serious illness strikes. Kate learns caregiving while caregiving – scant on-the-job training for an unanticipated job. She shares how the experience enlightened her and changed her, how historical notions of women as caregivers fare in modern America, and how we might address some of the failings of a fragmented medical and social care construct that many of us will find ourselves immersed in, whether we like it or not.

About Our Guest:

Kate Washington is a writer in Northern California. Her book, Already Toast: Caregiving and Burnout in America (Beacon Press, March 2021), shines a stark light on the experience of family caregivers. Largely left on their own to navigate the medical, insurance, work, and social support systems involved when a loved one becomes ill, caregivers are ill prepared and unsupported as they struggle to manage family and work responsibilities. With 53 million family caregivers in (Caregiving in the U.S. 2020, National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP), Already Toast is a must read for family caregivers, health care and social support workers, and policy makers.

Visit Kate’s website at https://www.kawashington.com/already-toast.html.

In this episode, host Lenore Tracey and award-winning documentary producer Paula Sellars consider a question that caregivers don’t usually think about — What if I’m not willing, able, or happy to be a caregiver? And it’s obvious companion thought — But I have to do this anyway!

Caregiving is an act of love, devotion, duty, and responsibility. We may have planned to care for our elders, and we may have vowed “in sickness and in health.” We may also have a troubled relationship with the family member or friend who needs our help. Or we may turn green at the sight of blood, need a full eight hours of sleep to be remotely human, or be raising four-year-old triplets.

Listen to two eldercare professionals, (who are also caregivers who have “been there and done that”) discuss how to accept thinking the unthinkable and cope with the must-do’s of a caregiver’s life.

About Our Guest:

Paula Sellars, MSW is an expert in adult learning, training development, and training delivery, particularly in promoting large-scale social change. Paula is the originator of an award-winning training method called Docutraining®, which integrates documentary style film, practical behavioral directives, and human empowerment training to produce reliable behavior change. In her role as president & director of curriculum development at Vistalynk, LLC (https://www.vistalynk.com/vistalynk-home) she brings this same evidence-informed training methodology to support understanding, reflection, intention, and behavior change to aging and caregiving relationships. Paula is also a personal development and entrepreneurial coach.

Most people know that sleep is essential to good health. But what you might not know is that 60 to 80 percent of us aren’t getting nearly enough of it - not by a long shot. And that’s a big deal. Studies show that insufficient sleep can lead to poorer health outcomes and quality of life, an increased risk of accidents, diminished productivity, and even an inhibited ability to learn and solve problems.

Fortunately, whether you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or simply stay up too late at night, most sleep problems are treatable. In this episode, join Eldercare Illuminated host Lenore Tracey and Exceptional Parenting Podcast host Stefanie Boucher as they discuss the beauty and importance of sleep - and the little known secrets to getting a good night’s rest - with clinical sleep educator and behavioral sleep therapist, Rick Clerici. You’ll find out how to use your body’s natural sleep pattern to maximize rest, how to begin preparing your body for sleep from the moment you wake up in the morning, and what to try if parenting or caregiving responsibilities are making sleep difficult.

About Our Guest:

Rick Clerici is a Clinical Sleep Educator and Behavioral Sleep Therapist. As the co-founder of Clear Mind Systems, Rick develops corporate sleep wellness programs, lectures in corporate and university settings nationwide, and serves as Sleep Educator for four major employee assistance programs in Massachusetts. As a personal sleep coach, he and his practice have helped thousands of individuals in all age groups get a better night’s sleep.

Learn more about Rick Clerici and his work by visiting http://www.clearmindsystems.net/.

Many families today are struggling with uncertainty and threats to home and hearth. Financial instability is a reality for people who have had their work hours reduced or lost their jobs completely. In this episode of Eldercare Illuminated, we’re exploring an idea that predates the country’s troubles of 2020 and has the potential to provide some relief to caregivers and the adults they love. That’s home-sharing.

Housemates have been a standard for young people starting out after completing their education. What are the many benefits that may be available to an older adult when sharing a living space? Amy Ford, of Silvernest, discusses how this little known option can provide different kinds of support for your loved one. In this discussion, we cover:

- What types of help can be built into a home-sharing agreement
- Safe ways you and your loved one can find a housemate
- Questions to consider when interviewing an applicant
- The importance of creating a formal home sharing agreement to protect both your loved one and her new housemate

Check out these resources to explore the home-sharing option further:

- Silvernest (http://silvernesthome.com/torchlight)
- Senior Homeshares (https://www.seniorhomeshares.com/
- National Shared Housing Resource Center (http://nationalsharedhousing.org/program-directory/)

About Our Guest:

Amy Ford is the Vice President of Strategic Partnerships and Business Development for Silvernest, an online roommate-matching service that pairs empty nesters, retirees and other aging adults with long-term housemates. Amy joined Silvernest from the National Council on Aging (NCOA), where she was the senior director of financial wellness, responsible for leading a team in the Economic Security division that provides education to older adults on a variety of topics related to financial wellness, including the question of considering accessing their home equity.
Before joining NCOA, Amy supported housing counselors in the training division of a large community development organization, NeighborWorks America.

The coronavirus pandemic has wreaked havoc on the lives of young and old alike since March. For caregivers who are juggling work, children, and aging or disabled loved ones, the disruptions have been relentless.

We open our first episode of the Fall season of Eldercare Illuminated with a far-reaching conversation about what the last few months have been like when a loved one lives in a memory care unit during a COVID-19 outbreak and beyond.

You’ll be surprised to hear that it’s not all bad news:

- Seniors who contract this virus can recover.
- Flexibility lends grace when circumstances continuously change.
- Children (and dogs) still bring joy.
- Workplace support is key to making all the pieces fit together.

Guest Amy Lyman shares the story of caring for a loved one with dementia during the coronavirus pandemic. We learn that loved ones who can only live in the moment may enjoy a special boon while the rest of us are bathed in anxiety.

About Our Guest:

Amy Lyman is Torchlight’s Director of Client Success. In addition to years in the financial services industry, Amy has experience working with adults and facilitating support groups in a mental health clinic. Most recently she worked supporting employees and advising Human Resources professionals and managers about workplace dynamics. Who is she when she’s at home? All of those things and the mother of three, wife, daughter, and primary caregiver for her 88-year-old mother.

As if the coronavirus pandemic were not bad enough, it has spawned another epidemic. Testing and treatment scams, product delivery scams, tax identity theft, and a multitude of new and creative ways to get people to divulge private information or click on sites that load malware, ransomware, and other dangerous software onto their devices are on the rise.

As our guest, Steve Weisman says, “Things aren’t as bad as you think, they are far worse.” But don’t despair. Steve joins Torchlight’s Eldercare Illuminated host, Lenore Tracey, and Exceptional Parenting Podcast host, Stefanie Boucher, for a discussion of what to beware of and how to avoid the clever ways these thieves seek to undermine our digital security. Steve alerts us to attacks and identity theft based on use of websites and apps targeted at students, younger children, seniors, and employees; he offers some surprising insights about how criminals are exploiting the tools and applications we use every day.

Steve has helpful strategies to share for all of us — adults and kids of all ages. Check out his website, Scamicide.com, for regular updates on new scams and how to protect yourself and your loved ones.

About Our Guest:

Steve Weisman, JD is an attorney admitted to practice before the United States Supreme Court, college professor at Bentley University, and nationally recognized expert on scams, identity theft and cybersecurity. He appears regularly in the media to share his knowledge and ideas for staying one step ahead of the bad guys.

You can find Steve’s books on retirement planning and digital security on Amazon. Learn more about identity theft attacks based on use of Facebook, iPad, iPhone, Android, cloud apps, iPod, and other new technologies — and shows you how to protect yourself, or how to fix the damage if you've already been attacked!