ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Gain Clarity on Your Calling with Seth Yelorda

"We end up chasing the wrong rabbit, until it's too late"

• Seth Yelorda

If you have ever had a question of what your calling is or wanted to find your purpose, let me make this clear…THIS IS A MUST LISTEN TO EPISODE!!

Seth Yelorda is founder and director of Vision Clarity 360, a leadership development and strategic planning consultancy located in Riverside, CA. Seth has served as a Vision Strategist for both churches and schools by helping them bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Seth also serves as the lead pastor of the Relove SDA Church in Garden Grove, CA. His life mission is to help leaders to discover their Kingdom contribution.

This interview was absolutely phenomenal! Seth talks about the 'internal regulator' that we all have that stops us from achieving greater things and the glass ceiling we place on ourselves that holds us from reaching our full potential.

He talks about the Value Vitality Map, which is a tool used to find where you are in the discovery of your vocation.

We discuss how men can end up chasing the 'wrong rabbit' in our lives and end up with regret and remaining in our comfort zone and the value of how coaching can help find clarity on 3 things that you'll need to discover your calling including your (1) passion, (2) abilities, (3) context in which you thrive.

You can learn more about Seth on social media and at his website: Visionclarity360.com

Enjoy!

See you soon,

Dr. Brad

We all have big hopes and big dreams and big goals. Sometimes so big that they are scary! Not only do I want to reach my goals but I want you to reach yours as well.

With that said, the key to every goal or dream becoming reality is TAKING ACTION (aka. the 'behaviors') toward it. There are certain actions & behaviors that must be taken in order to…

• Strengthen your faith
• Have a happy marriage
• Earn a certain level of income

However, every behavior we take OR don't take…is attached to some underlying belief.

I'll prove it…

My story:

I once thought that my level of success was dependent on how hard I worked. My formula for success was: Hard work = Success.

• Therefore, I worked hard and became a doctor.
• However, my hard work was completely influenced by how I thought…my beliefs. The reason I worked so hard was completely dependent on my underlying thoughts & beliefs.
  • If I didn't believe I could become a doctor…I would have never worked hard enough to excel in school
  • If I didn't believe becoming a doctor was possible…I would have never considered applying to medical school
• Therefore, your beliefs influence your behavior. Your attitude toward an idea determines your action!

Therefore, the hard part of achieving your goal is not the doing…it's the believing!

Once I figured this out it changed the game for me…because I then knew what to work on in order to get a desired result.

But the question is…

What must you believe in order to achieve??

The 5 things to believe in in order to achieve:

1. Belief in the inevitability of the goal
   1. There is absolute certainty in its future reality
   2. Time is the only separator between you and your goal
   3. Circumstances don't matter
      1. Think about driving to a predetermined destination such as work. Detours, traffic, and construction don't stop you from reaching your destination. It is certain and inevitable that you'll get there.
   4. This is faith! Certainty and expectation of your goals no matter what the obstacles.
2. Belief in the possibility of the goal
   1. It can actually happen…FOR YOU!
   2. It's impossible until someone does it.
   3. The story of Roger Bannister (1954)
      1. No one prior to 1954 ran below a 4 minute mile because of the belief that one's heart would be damaged.
      2. He was the first to do it. After he did it, others found it possible FOR THEMSELVES and now a sub-4 minute mile is standard in high-level running
   4. You MUST believe that 'All things are possible with God' (Matthew 19:26)
3. Belief in your ability
   1. You are capable. You are able!
   2. There are countless stories of people who have been able to achieve amazing things with less resources…even significant handicaps
   3. What you MUST believe: You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13)
4. Belief that your goal is worth it
   1. The end goal must be something that MATTERS to you!
   2. It must mean something to you
   3. For example, I believe I could be an amazing figure skater…however, that doesn't matter to me at all. Therefore, I don't take action to become a figure skater.
5. Belief that you are worthy of it
   1. This is a test of Self-value and how you view yourself
      1. "Who am I?"
      2. "Am I worthy of what I'm capable of?"

• "Am I worthy of an unbelievable life?"

1. We pursue what we feel worthy of
2. You can believe in all the above 4, but if you don't believe you are worthy of different, you'll continue to get more of the same
3. Someone can be royalty, but if they don't feel worthy of the title, then it's no different as not having the title at all
4. We are children of God and citizens of the Kingdom of God…which means we have all the rights and privileges that come with it. However, if we don't feel worthy of that inheritance…then it's just as if we don't believe we are God's children or part of his kingdom!

Always remember this…

You get what you believe!!

Whether we want to admit it or not, both you and I, are currently achieving to the level that we believe those 5 ideas above. Therefore, we must work on our belief to change the trajectory of our lives and impact on the world!

And THE BEST way to increase all 5 of those beliefs is to increase your faith and belief in God. By working on your belief in God alone, will fuels the beliefs in everything you do and dramatically positively transform your life to greatness!

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Brad

Have you ever felt like you are trying to juggle everything in life and it's become stressful and overwhelming?

If you desire to have less stress, more peace, and more fulfillment…today I'm going to discuss the right order of life's priorities in order to perform at a higher level with less stress

THE CHALLENGE:

We are stressed and overwhelmed. Work and life are disorganized.

With the juggling of work and life it feels like a ball is always dropping or we are scrambling to try and prevent it from dropping.

It seems like we can't catch up with life.

Stress is a killer! Stress causes us to live in a 'survival mode' as opposed to 'thriving mode'. This stressful survival mode expends a lot of energy to maintain, and unfortunately, it doesn't leave enough energy for recovery and sustaining life. Ultimately, this stress can influence issues such as…

• Digestion issues
• Chest pain & Heart issues
• Cancer, etc.

Just to name a few physical characteristics of stress.

THE PROBLEM:

We have poor ways of managing stress and lack a framework or 'order of living' that can ultimately help us prevent stress…instead of reacting to it.

There was a time in my life when I was very stressed and overwhelmed and it seemed like no matter how much daily work I did…it seemed like not a whole lot got done. I had no order…no structure to my work and life. Life was very reactive instead of prepared and organized.

However, I eventually learned that much of my stress was because of a lack of a framework or structured order for how to prioritize all the aspects of my life that matter. Once I learned the combination of "STRUCTURE & SPACE" in my life…I began to get more done daily, weekly, and monthly in every area of my life. My faith, fatherhood, marriage, work, health,…everything improved.

THE SOLUTION:

Non-negotiable Order of life's Priorities: 1. God, 2. Marriage, 3. Children, 4. Work (Others),

1. God first:
   1. Why?
      1. We are designed to perform at our best, as men, by being in direct relationship with God
      2. Success in ALL other areas of life are contingent upon this relationship and your spiritual growth
   2. 2 Ideas Prevent us from prioritizing God 1st
      1. We don't connect our relationship with God with our performance in work and life
         1. God provides clarity!!
         2. Spiritual Growth = Greater Work/Life Performance
      2. We believe if we put God 1st, that somehow we will sacrifice our quality of life
         1. This couldn't be any further from the truth!
         2. Relationship with God = Results in HIS WAY!
      3. My Story:

Once I began to place God as the #1 priority in my life…EVERYTHING got better! However, it took me surrendering to his will and not my own.

1. Action Item: Create Time & Space for God
   1. INVEST Daily time with God. Start building and cultivating that relationship
2. Marriage second:
   1. Why?
      1. An unhealthy marriage is a setup for stress and draining energy, which translates into poor performance in other areas of life
   2. Problem:
      1. We don't see our marriage as a part of our performance but it is.
      2. We see time spent with our spouse as pulling us away from our work…instead of helping it.

• Happy marriage = Greater Performance

1. My Story:

Once I began to invest quality time toward my spouse and marriage…I noticed my work life was better, because I didn't have personal stress distracting my focus on my work and business

1. Action Item: Create Time & Space within your marriage:
   1. INVEST in time with your spouse
      1. Weekly talk time
      2. Monthly date night
   2. Children
      1. Why after marriage?
         1. If mamma ain't happy…the kids ain't happy
      2. Problem:
         1. Similar to marriage…we think time with our children takes away from our work. However, we work better when relationships at home are healthy
      3. My Story:

I once thought that time with my children was drawing me away from work and preventing me from work tasks. However, once I created a routine of quality time invested in this relationship…my entire life got better!

1. Action Item: Invest consistent Space & Time with your children

The Reason this works:

We can NEVER see or measure the magnitude of neglect of our personal life!! We are BLIND to the magnitude of neglect on both our personal and professional lives!

This way of thinking prevents neglect

Neglect = Eventual Disaster

It reinforces and FEEDS the things that matter

Prioritizing my faith and personal life made all of life better

1. If forces you to be more efficient and effective with your professional tasks

It may give you less time to do work, but we typically give ourselves too much time to do work that actually takes less time. Give yourself 6 hours to do an 8 hour task and you'll find you can do it in 6 hours.

1. It puts life into perspective
   1. God is in control no matter what you think.
   2. We aren't making things happen nearly as much as we think we are

RESULTS?

Go from stressful to stress less.

Go from no peace to peaceful.

Go from empty to fulfilled…and more results in work and life!

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Brad

THE CHALLENGE: Inconsistent Action

We want to live amazing lives…crush it at work, achieve our goals, and live fulfilling lives. The results we are looking for is entirely based on the actions and behaviors we habitually do. Our Actions = Our Results. Unfortunately, we aren't achieving our goals and living the lives we desire because we aren't consistently taking the actions that lead to the results we want. We get stuck because of a lack of consistent action.

THE PROBLEM: We believe working harder on the 'behaviors' is the answer

We believe if we just work harder…put in more reps…do more work and, just do more actions that we will reach our goals.

We believe we need more self-discipline, more will power, and even accountability. We just need to 'get our act together' and 'do the work'. 'Just do it'.

I once thought the same way. I would think…

• Just lift more weights and do more cardio…to get in shape
• Just see more patients and work harder to achieve my career goals
• Just try harder at loving my wife and do more for her to be a better husband
• Just be a better father
• Just see more clients for my business to grow

This lead to temporary and inconsistent results. It seemed no matter how good I would do in a certain area of life…I would always do something OR something would always 'happen' that would prevent me from leveling up and sustaining new results. Some people refer to this as self-sabotage. It was like basically a lid over the level of success and fulfillment I had in my work and life.

Now don't get me wrong…Taking more action and doing more work isn't entirely wrong. But HOW you go about doing the action is where most people fall short.

THE SOLUTION:

Here is what I found…no matter how hard I worked, even if I hit my goal…I didn't sustain it. I discovered that my success wasn't determined by how hard I worked, but by what I was actually working on! I needed to work on my mindset in order to get the results. I needed to work on my self-development to get the success. I needed to personally grow and develop.

Here's a reminder about The Success Sequence:

IDENTITY/BELIEFS…lead to… THOUGHTS…which lead to…FEELINGS…which lead to…the ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS …that lead to RESULTS

Which means that every action/behavior is rooted in a certain belief. It wasn't my behavior that was stopping me…it was my beliefs! Work should be done more on BELIEF vs BEHAVIOR!

For example…consider planting seeds that grow fruit.

The belief is like the seed and the results are the fruit. Many of us are trying to grow fruit (aka get results) by planting a branch…instead of planting seeds of belief that lead to new grow of it's respective fruit.

You cannot outperform the level of your mindset and identity

Consider how your cruise control in your car works. If it's set to 70mph it won't let you go much faster or slower than that speed. Even if you drive downhill or uphill, the car may temporarily go faster or slower but will always go back to the speed it's set at. The mindset/identity and beliefs you have is what sets the speed! The only way to level up the speed…aka the results…you have to level up the mind!

Beliefs determine Behaviors.

Your beliefs determine your behavior…which determine your results!

To change your beliefs you must work on it. You must have a personal development plan…a way to develop, grow and strengthen your mindset.

You have to change the story you tell yourself about you…in order for you to write a different story in the future!

My Question to you…

Do you have a personal development plan?

You change your beliefs with what you consistently input into your head.

• What do you consistently listen to?
• What do you consistently read?
• What do you consistently watch?

When you change your mind, you will change your life…but if you don't believe this concept of person development…then it will never work!

ACTION PLAN:

Develop a personal growth plan:

1. Consistency:
   1. Needs to be daily. Pour into yourself (i.e. read, listen, or watch) daily in order to help you move the results cruise control speed.
2. Comprehensive
   1. Look at each area of life and determine where you need the most growth and development in
   2. You can never go wrong with mindset and identity development/discovery
3. Christ-influenced
   1. The Bible is the best personal growth and development book that exists
   2. Build a personal relationship with God and believe what he says about you. You then actually behave in such a way that you CAN do all things, because the God of all things lives within you!
   3. Your potential becomes limitless…since God has no limits!

If you believe what I'm discussing…your life will change. But you have to believe it. If you don't believe it, your behavior will show it. BELIEVE what I'm telling you. The reason why most people don't consistently stick with it is because they don't get immediate results. This is why it's called FAITH!!!! Faith is your biggest contributor to your results!!

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Brad

THE CHALLENGE:

Have you ever struggled with perfectionism or feeling like no matter how well you do something…it seems like it's not quite good enough? Do you ever place a large amount of pressure and stress on yourself to perform at a high level and you find yourself beating yourself up when you don't achieve?? Do you ever feel that you can never meet a certain standard you've set for yourself?

I've struggled with this idea of self-doubt, feeling like I'm not good enough, and having to achieve more in order to prove my worth and value as a man…and beating myself up when I don't achieve "up to par".

As men we all have a need for validation. The definition of validation is…"the act of affirming a person, or their ideas, feelings, actions, as acceptable and worthy". Every man, including you desires to be affirmed and to feel as acceptable and worthy. Validation is what defines our self-worth and value.

THE PROBLEM: "External Validation" (aka Kryptonite)

Validation is needed and good, but only if it is coming from the right place and is not dependent on something external from us or outside of our control.

More often than not, we seek validation from and depend on validation from the wrong places…from things that are external from us.

-This becomes a setup for dependence on something (similar to an addict dependent on drugs or alcohol)

- This becomes a setup for future crisis. If we become dependent on the validation, and it leaves, then so does our value & worth

-Top 3 things men receive external validation from:

• Success
  • Success becomes a way to soothe our own underlying insecurities. We strive for success in order to validate our worth and value instead of knowing our own intrinsic value and creating success from it. If we don't achieve our goal or fall short, we end up feeling shame and self-doubt which shows up by beating ourselves up.
• Status
  • Status and influence becomes something we chase in order to feel better about ourselves. The titles and followers, and likes we use to help define our significance. If we don't get the status, again we will often beat ourselves up OR do anything to get more status…even compromising our character.
• Sex
  • We often times use sex as a way to be validated. We unfortunately feel like 'conquering another woman' or performing well in bed will contribute to our feeling of worth and being masculine. This leads to troubled relationships and adultery, because you continue to use what should be an intimate experience as a way to soothe insecurities.

Our identity (how we define ourselves) is closely linked to what we get validated by most!!

For example, If you are dependent on success as a means of validation, then you will self-identify as a success ONLY IF you succeed at your goal. Unfortunately, the opposite will destroy your self-perception. Meaning, if you don't succeed or not actively succeeding…then you'll identify yourself as a failure.

Ways to determine if you are becoming addicted/dependent on some external validation

• You beat yourself up
  • Feel like a failure if you aren't succeeding at something
• Succeed at any cost
  • Compromise your character in order to get the success, status, or sex
• Perfectionism
  • Feel like things have to be perfect, and if they aren't you take mistakes very personal

How to Turn Kryptonite into Cure

SOLUTION:

1. RECOGNIZE the things you are dependent on for validation:
   1. Ask yourself: "Do I get caught up more with how this makes ME feel or how it will help someone else feel??"
      1. Success: Are you more focused on what you receive from success, as opposed to the service others recieve?
      2. Sex: Are you focused more on how it will make you feel vs how it will make your spouse feel

• Status: Are you more focused on achieving the title and influence vs. the people that you help to earn the status?

1. RECEIVE validation PRIMARILY FROM YOUR IDENTITY as a Son of God
   1. What does God say about you?
      1. Made in the image and likeness of God
      2. Fearfully & Wonderfully made

• More than a conquer

1. Able to do all things through Christ's strength

1. This doesn't change!!
2. This is truth
3. This sets you up to CREATE success, elevate influence, and improve relationships (fruit) instead of CRAVING those things to prove you have value…because you now KNOW who you are!

1. Remind others of the same thing
   1. Help others see the same in themselves and it will be reinforced in you.

ACTION ITEM:

Daily remind yourself of who God says you are. His creation and your identity in him validates you!

The result? There will be no circumstance that can stop you! You'll become unstoppable and unbreakable!

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

"The success of a person's frontstage, requires internal health on the backstage"

• Johnny Parker

This interview right here!!! If you are ready to learn how to go from unfulfilled à to living a fulfilling AND successful life…this is the interview for you!

Dr. Johnny Parker is an executive coach, leadership consultant, author, and speaker. He is also founder of the '10X Better Man' platform, which helps men win in multiple areas of life. He is the former life coach for the Washington Redskins and Pittsburgh Steelers. In this interview he breaks down what a '10X Better Man' is and how men can win at work and thrive in life!

He discusses the difference between the 'Front Stage' of a man, which includes our career, our businesses, and material things we often display to the world…and the 'Back Stage' of a man including our core values, beliefs, and foundational principles which we often neglect. He gives practical step by step guidance on how to find clarity and fulfillment while maintaining a successful 'Front Stage'. GREAT INTERVIEW!! And full of wisdom!

My favorite part of the interview is when we discuss how our 'Front Stage' is dependent on our 'Back Stage' and how often there is an incongruence between the front and back stages of our lives and how it creates friction and turmoil in our lives.

I hope this interview inspires you and blesses you as much as it did me. Lots of nuggets and tools to apply to your work and life in this episode.

Be sure to follow him on social media @ Dr Johnny Parker and his website: https://drjohnnyparker.com

Enjoy!

See you soon,

Dr. Brad

THE CHALLENGE:

We don't have enough time in our day to get the tasks done that we want to in order to achieve our goals. It seems as though we just don't have enough time to get things done. Ultimately, we are trying to maximize our time to get as much done as we can in our day. The more we get done, the sooner we can achieve our goals.

But, we only get 24hrs in our day, and much of it is accounted for…

• Sleep accounts for some of it (approx. 6-8 hours)
• Getting ready, showering, bathroom
• Eating
• Family time
• Working out

And the remainder of the time we have is working on our professional goals within our career or business.

Ideally, we are trying to be efficient AND effective…that's the formula for productivity.

Productivity = Efficiency + Effectiveness

Being efficient is doing a lot of work in a short period of time.

Being effective is working on the right task that will bring about the greatest result.

Efficiency often requires more work…AND…Effectiveness often requires more thought.

For example…

Being efficient is being able to read a lot in a short period of time.

Being Effective is reading the right book for what you are trying to learn.

Being efficient is running really fast

Being effective is running in the right lane or the right direction

We all get the same 24 hours. But some individuals who are high performers can get A WHOLE LOT more done with their 24hrs than others…and make it seem effortless.

So it begs the questions…

How do we get more done in our day?

How do we maximize the time we have to get the most out of our 24hrs?

THE PROBLEM:

Most of us believe that if we work harder we will get more done in our day. Basically, in regards to the formula for productivity we focus on efficiency. I once thought the same way.

This is how we think…"How can I get more work done in less time?"

• The reason we like focusing on efficiency is because we like getting stuff done. It makes us feel better about ourselves. We feel accomplished when we do work. We like the feeling of doing something.
• That turns into less sleep, and stealing away time from things that matter…faith, family time, fitness
• Therefore we end up tired and frustrated, but we got more done…but it came at too much of a cost

Does this sound familiar? This was exactly how I once thought and performed.

However…I learned one of THE MOST IMPORTANT keys to being more productive in my day and life…

THE SOLUTION:

I learned that even though efficiency is the more glamorous & glorious part of the equation to productivity…but it's not the greatest part of the equation.

Effectiveness is greater than Efficiency

I'm all about working and getting a lot done…but the question is, "Am I working on the right thing?" "Are YOU working on the right thing?" "Are YOU running in the right direction??"

For example…

You might be doing a lot of networking, but are you meeting the right people?

You might be working out a lot, but are you doing the right exercises?

You might be working hard on your business, but are you working on the right thing for your business?

Effectiveness requires less doing…and more thinking. But thinking isn't glamorous! Nike says "Just do it" not "Just think about it"

The world would have you believe that you have to grind and hustle your way to the top…which is only part of the equation for productivity and success. If you are a high-achiever…typically your problem is not doing…it's not thinking enough!

Abraham Lincoln summed it up perfect in this quote: "Give me 6 hrs to chop down a tree and I'll spend the first 4 hrs sharpening the axe"

Thinking means…

• Slowing down
• Sitting down long enough to ask the right questions
• Setting aside/Scheduling time to think
• Stop DOING long enough to see if you are still heading in the right direction

Here's why people don't think more…

• It means they have to actually slow down…We don't like slowing down
• It means facing your fear, swallowing your pride and humbling your ego, coming to a conclusion that you may actually be going in the wrong direction
• It doesn't seem cool or glamorous
• Seems like nothing is getting done. It challenges our patience.

Benefits of thinking before doing:

• Less Mistakes
• Sooner wins
• You get better at it!! You'll get better at asking the right questions and get more efficient at being effective!!

My Story:

When I started creating daily and weekly space and time to thinking more…I was able to get more done, with less effort in each area of my life…by simply asking myself the right questions.

It was scary and nerve racking at first…but priceless and beneficial in its results.

Here's the action I want you to take…

1. Spend time daily trying to figure out what's the best step to take toward achieving your goal
2. Ask the same question once a week

Ultimately, here is what I want you to understand…

Think More, Do Less, Get More Done!

This is a topic I've been meaning to address for awhile. However, I have recently been very convicted to share, due to an overwhelming concern we may be placing our focus, and more importantly our dependence, on something that could be ultimately hindering our growth & development in our work and lives.

The reality is that we ALL want to live amazing lives…but I believe we are relying and depending on the wrong things and are ultimately going in the opposite direction of what will allow us to experience the amazing life we envision.

Here is what I know, and believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, because it is true…

Consistent & Close Relationship with God will make EVERY AREA of life better!

Relationship with God Will make you a better man and the man you are looking to be. Psalms 37:4 makes it very clear…

"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart"

Very simply put…'delighting in the Lord', means to build a healthy delightful relationship with the Lord…and you can expect life to get better (aka. the desires of your heart).

However, my concern is that people are NOT seeking RELATIONSHIP because they may be distracted by religion!!

I define religion as 'the set of rules and regulations' one must follow to be in 'right standing'.

Example: Because I know how powerful relationship with God is…when I ask someone to describe their personal relationship with to me…they immediately reply with something related to their attendance to up church.

MY CONCERNS:

1. People(including us men) are relying more on religion than we are relationship with God
2. People(including us men) are missing out on the real transformative power of a close relationship with God

• There is a misconception, within many that believe in God, that in order to live a life of success, significance, impact, fulfillment and meaning, that it you find this outside of relationship with God
• Let me make this clear. When you have a consistent and close relationship with God, he becomes your…
  • Source of strength, energy, & fulfillment (providing endurance and happiness)
  • Secret to peak performance in your work and life (providing more productivity)
  • Solution to any problem or challenge you face (providing peace of mind)

1. People live like their faith is a part or aspect of their life…instead of a way of life.

Therefore, this results in…

• Many church goers…not a lot of Christ followers
• Not enough examples of real men Christ followers for other men to model after

This idea of religion and traditional church vs relationship with God, what brought to my attention as a result of my personal story during the peak of the Covid pandemic in 2020. I noticed when the churches shut down, one of 2 things happened to peoples' faith:

1. It decreased because their faith was dependent on 'traditional church'
2. It increased because they learned how to build a more personal relationship with God that was NOT dependent on traditional church.

I experienced #2. And the more I developed a more personal relationship with God, I saw every area of my life (family, marriage, work, business, health) improve, including my ability to handle conflict and crisis.

THE CHALLENGE: Many are depending on church more than they are God

Traditionally we have associated our faith with (1)church attendance, (2)serving in the church, and (3)tithing to the church. Therefore…

• Church has traditionally been perceived as the place where you go to worship God
• Many believers view service as primarily taking place within the walls of the church
• Tithing is associated with being a good 'church goer'

We feel like we are doing what we need to do for the 'faith part of our lives', by checking those 3 boxes off of the list…and therefore believe we are doing what we need to do for our faith.

Yet unfortunately, many people still feel stress, depressed, unhappy, unfulfilled, life lacking meaning, don't know our purpose, making bad decisions, can't hit our goals, etc DESPITE checking off all the boxes of faith.

I once thought this exact same way…but here is what I discovered…

We often depend on religion and traditional church to replace the relationship God is seeking with us in order to transform us. Relationship is the answer…not religion and traditional church!

Don't get me wrong...i'm not saying church is bad! However, what I am saying is that it doesn't replace the thing that actually transforms you…it doesn't replace what you are ultimately looking for and need!

Example:

Imagine being dehydrated. Water is what you need…water is what will rehydrate…water is the solution. However, if someone gave you orange juice instead…it would give you hydration, and maybe even some good flavor…but it IS NOT WATER! Don't get it confused…relationship with God is the water you need for the dehydration of your spiritual life. And dehydration looks like stress, unfulfillment, vices, bad habits, etc.

Church as we know it…is supplement, not sustenance! Relationship with God is sustenance! Nothing replaces it!

MY STORY:

Once I realized this…my life drastically changed! I was no longer dependent on any place, event, or deed for a connected spiritual life. I became personally responsible for my faith and building this relationship as the foundation and sustenance for my life. This translated into showing up as a great husband to my wife, father to my children, leader at work, clarity in business & life…aka REAL LIFE CHANGE!

Nothing replaces relationship with God…not even church!

Spend DAILY TIME with God that is NOT DEPENDENT on anything but you and your time with Him. Build an actual relationship…I Dare you!! Watch what happens!

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

How to Make Your Success INEVITABLE!

Do you ever get frustrated when going after your dreams?

Have you ever felt like your goals and dreams just won't happen and consider giving up on them?

I've been there! And I get it! Sometimes we can get pretty frustrated and disappointed on our road to our dreams.

However, I've discovered something VERY UNIQUE that gave me confidence to achieve my goals. As a matter of fact…there is almost an inevitability and predictability to your success. Yes…I said the word 'Inevitable'! There is a way to nearly guarantee and secure the accomplishment of your future goal!

OUR CHALLENGE:

Typically, the way many of us see our goals as being far away, far removed, and separate from us. Therefore, we 'go after' our goals. It becomes an arduous struggle to get to a place or become a person that we don't ultimately believe is who we are. So the pursuit of our goals includes a lot of stress and struggle because the internal belief of who we believe we are is completely different that who we want to become. Therefore, any challenge along the way toward our goal, actually confirms in our own mind that we ARE who we currently are, and NOT who we want to become.

The Result? Stress and a lack of achievement of our goals.

OUR SOLUTION:

However, what I've seen is that it's actually more of a difference in mindset and perception that prevents us from achievement. The reality is that it's not so much that we are far from our goals but that the way we see ourselves relative to the goals doesn't help us achieve it.

There is a difference between…

Working FROM Success vs Working FOR Success

Working from Success says…

• I AM, therefore it's simply a matter of time
• I AM an expression of who I believe I am, which is the person that is connected to the achievement of my goal
• IT IS inevitable…I just have to continue working

You have to BE it…before you SEE it!

Working for Success says…

• I'm not, I'm trying to become
• I need to achieve the goal to prove and validate that I am the person I'm trying to become
• I don't know if it's really going to happen

Think about a seed of an apple, and it's inevitable future…an apple.

• The seed of an apple…when planted will inevitably be an apple

Think about a caterpillar, and it's inevitable future…a butterfly.

• The caterpillar…when in the right environment will inevitably be a butterfly

THIS IS WORKING FROM SUCCESS!

Working FOR success is taking an unknown seed….planting it and hoping it turns into an apple.

Working FOR success is taking an inchworm and hoping it turns eventually into a butterfly

You inevitably develop into who you believe yourself to be!!

ACTION STEPS:

How to work FROM Success: (Think about a planting a seed)

1. Define the seed.
   1. Who are you? Connect 'who you are' to your person who is connected to the achievement of your goal. You ARE NOW CURRENTLY MENTALLY the person who has accomplished your goal.
2. Cultivate the seed. Place it in good soil.
   1. Place yourself in the right environment
      1. People: What kind of people are around you to help you be your best self. Encouraging and supportive people. People who can coach and guide you.
      2. Settings: Are you in the right places that are putting you in position to succeed?
   2. Water the seed.
      1. Consistent watering: Active pouring into yourself!
         1. Audios and Books: What books and audios are you consistently listening to?? I encourage you to ALWAYS be reading or listening to something that is strengthening your mind, faith, or knowledge.
      2. Expose it to the light.
         1. Expose that goal to God, aka…The Light
            1. Bring your goal to God! Discuss it with him. Include him into your goals and dreams
               1. This provides discernment and clarity on what decisions to make
               2. Relationship with God provides fulfillment. This way you don't feel like you are IN NEED of your goal to be happy. You can pursue it with no pressure.
            2. Believe & Trust in God for the transformation & increase
               1. We can only plant the seed, cultivate, water it and put it into the light. However, the actual transformation is up to God…not YOU! Do what you can do, and let God do the rest! You are NOT responsible for the transformation…you are responsible for being obedient to YOUR PART (Steps 1-4 above)

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Brad

"You end up chasing the high you imagine, instead of the fulfillment you actually need"

-Fredrick Bussey

Whaaaat?!?! Wow! This is SO true for so many of us!

One of our BIGGEST problems as men, is we have THE WRONG DEFINITION of success and a POOR MEASURING STICK for how we determine whether we are successful.

In this bonus podcast episode, I interview executive leadership coach, speaker, and author of the book Breaking Orbit: Rip Out the Regular by Unearthing the Power Within, Fredrick Douglas Bussey. I had the privilege of interviewing Fredrick during the virtual ELITE MEN Summit event, that I hosted back in December of 2020. In this interview he helps to redefine for us what success REALLY is!

Fredrick is one of the wisest men I know and he drops a TON of knowledge on this interview!

He breaks down why we, as high-achieving men, struggle with being successful in one area such as our business or career, but struggle in other areas of life and end up unfulfilled. He talks about how the 'Definition of Manhood' that many of us learn when we are younger is false, and how this false understanding of manhood puts us at great risk for unfulfillment and the overall neglect and poor relationships we see as fathers, husbands, and friends.

Fredrick says we end up "chasing the high we imagine, instead of the fulfillment we need"…SO GOOD, and SO TRUE!

One of my biggest takeaways from this interview was the 3 Laws of Giftedness. You've gotta hear his framework for your gifts! It will help you in ALL areas of life! Number 3 was my favorite!

Be sure to follow him on social media on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn: Fredrick Douglas Bussey

Enjoy!

Blessings,

Dr. Brad