Empower Her Wellness

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For extended show notes, visit the shellydrymon.com

Cara-Michele Nether has been a licensed health practitioner and founder of Strength & Vitality Wellness near Baltimore, Maryland, for the past 19 years. She specializes in transforming sporadic stabs at self-care into reliable energy-building routines that become a natural part of the day for women between the ages of 45-65.   She has been recognized as the Best Rated Acupuncturist in Baltimore for five consecutive years and is the author of the book "Fuel Your Engines."

After eliminating the burden of complexity, guilt, and self-judgment around self-care, women feel they are back in the driver's seat of their lives. This change gives them greater control over their mental and physical energy, allowing them to positively impact the relationships they cherish without regrets.

Our mental and physical energy directly influences the quality of our actions and words at any given moment. Thus, prioritizing well-being is non-negotiable if we want to show up as the best version of ourselves.  

Growing up, Cara-Michele observed the mental and physical self-harm her mother and other women caused themselves by prioritizing everyone else's needs above their own self-care.  

As a young woman, this made her both sad and angry, but later in life, she found herself in the same trap.  Even as a seasoned health practitioner, she was diagnosed with an avoidable health concern at age 52.  This experience reinforces that knowing what to do is rarely a problem for intelligent, hard-working women.  Doing it, the leap to consistent self-care, is the invisible hurdle.   

Cara-Michele is deeply committed to empowering women to control their stories. She wants to shine a light on two facts: one, making friends with self-care consistency is more straightforward than they might think, and two, feeling good is the easiest way to do good.   

From pain relief to practical energy-producing strategies that fit the busiest of schedules, Cara-Michele's slow, intentional approach allows women to experience the full potential of having their minds and bodies behind them.   

Find Cara-Michele online

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www.kindfulnesscoaching.com

As a Licensed Social Worker and Foster Parent, Jen brings a wealth of experience and dedication to guiding individuals toward achieving their goals and finding balance in their lives. As the founder of KINDfulness Coaching, she offers tailored coaching and consultation services designed to help foster parents and professionals manage stress, amplify their voices, and thrive. With 17 years of social work experience and a passion for mental health advocacy, Jen's compassionate and expert approach supports you in creating a fulfilling life and career.

Jen, the founder of Kindfulness Coaching, offers her insights on managing stress based on her social work background and personal experiences with burnout. She emphasizes that while stress is inevitable, individuals can choose their responses, advocating for proactive strategies to turn stress into strength. The discussion covers the emotional and relational impacts of stress, including symptoms like fatigue and irritability, and the challenges of decision fatigue.

Jen shares her struggles with decision-making and unhealthy food choices when overwhelmed, underscoring the importance of personalized routines and meal planning, although it may not suit everyone. She highlights her own morning routine for stress relief and stresses self-care practices tailored to individual needs over prescribed methods.

The conversation addresses the unique challenges faced by caregivers and foster parents, highlighting the importance of therapy and a “time audit” to prioritize self-care. Jen advocates for mindfulness and being present in daily activities to better understand stress sources, suggesting simple, joyful activities as effective self-care rather than conventional

treatments. A “nourishment menu” is proposed to help individuals identify joy-bringing activities during stressful times. Jen discusses the difficulties of balancing self-care with home responsibilities as a foster parent, emphasizing the importance of boundaries, communication, and support from partners.

This conversation touches on the pressures from social media that create unrealistic standards, stressing the need to model desired behaviors rather than trying to change others.

The complexities of fostering traumatized children and the emotional toll of temporary attachments are also explored. Jen expresses frustration with the lack of rights and support for foster parents, offering group coaching to improve wellness in agencies with high burnout rates.

Finally, the discussion highlights the need for new routines to combat chronic stress among professionals, particularly in social work and healthcare, who have faced significant challenges during the pandemic. Jen concludes by advocating for self-kindness and care amidst these struggles.

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Be one of the first five listeners to send Jim an email at [email protected] and tell him you found him on this podcast, he will send you a copy of his book - free - to anywhere in the United States of America.

In 2014, Jim’s wife, Sally, was diagnosed with brain cancer. Jim and I talk about the emotional and practical challenges faced by Jim during Sally’s extensive treatment, including chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant. To cope, Jim documented their journey on social media, which provided an emotional outlet and updates for family and friends. This experience underscored the importance of seeking support and maintaining self-care for caregivers, who often face immense emotional strain.

Jim joined a caregiver support group, volunteered at a local facility, and wrote a book offering 21 tips for caregivers, addressing common fears and emphasizing the necessity of asking for help. The book highlights the concept of a “caregiver warrior,” advocating for self-care as vital for both the caregiver’s and patient’s well-being. Jim also recounts specific traumatic incidents during Sally’s treatment, illustrating the emotional toll and the need for caregivers to decompress.

Additionally, therapy and spiritual outlets are suggested as beneficial for caregivers, reinforcing the importance of finding peace amidst stress. Open communication is emphasized to avoid internalizing stress and guilt, and Jim shares their experience of initially struggling with these emotions but learning to request help. Small acts of assistance from loved ones proved significantly helpful, and humor and optimism are highlighted as coping mechanisms.

Ultimately, the conversation emphasizes the shared experiences among caregivers, recognizing the predominance of women in these roles while acknowledging commonalities across different conditions. We advocate for balancing caregiving responsibilities with personal well-being and adapting to new realities instead of longing for the past.

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Message Jeanette on her Instagram account and she will walk you through setting boundaries as a caregiver.

About Jeanette

For more information on the services Jeanette provides to caregivers visit her website.

Jeanette is a lifelong caregiver and knows what it’s like to have her needs put on the back burner because someone else always needs more. As a wife, mom, and primary caregiver forher mom, oh and with a job, she used to get through her days barely scraping by on energy, getting to the end of each day with so much left to do, so much left undone, and so much guilt about it all.

It took her years to figure out the balance between caring for herself, caring for others, and finally feeling connected to herself and the life she had been to busy to enjoy. This is what it means to be  “self-caregiver”!

With the right tools, you can be a self-caregiver too!

Show Notes

Jeanette’s narrative reflects on her 40-year journey as a caregiver, starting at age eight when her mother fell ill. Her role evolved as her mother’s condition deteriorated, leading to a codependent relationship marked by guilt and trauma. Traditional self-care advice felt irrelevant until the COVID-19 pandemic prompted Jeanette to seek therapy, revealing her sense of unworthiness for self-care. This realization led her to develop personal strategies for managing her needs and recognizing her worth.

Jeanette focuses on recovering from burnout and codependency, noting that societal self-care norms don’t fit everyone. She crafted a personal toolkit involving therapy, habit-building, and prioritizing sleep as essential self-care. By setting boundaries and taking ownership of her life, Jeanette improved family connections and reduced caregiving fears. Now, while caring for her mother, she also helps other caregivers prioritize genuine self-care activities. Therapy illuminated how early caregiving shaped their obligations and people-pleasing tendencies.

There are many pressures faced by caregivers, including handling multiple health conditions and feeling responsible for crises. It emphasizes the importance of authentic self-care over superficial approaches, advocating for fundamental needs like sleep and belonging as foundational supports. Jeanette stresses boundary-setting, particularly the ability to say no, which many caregivers struggle with. Recognizing small acts of self-care and dedicating time mindfully can enhance enjoyment and motivation.

Highlighting the critical role of sleep in restoration, creativity, and decision-making, she addresses caregiver guilt around self-care. It identifies two types of guilt: feeling unproductive during rest and fearing missed opportunities. Personal boundaries can alleviate this guilt and manage caregiving effectively. Trauma responses in emergencies are acknowledged as unsustainable, emphasizing the need for boundaries to prevent burnout.

Reflecting on her caregiving experiences, Jeanette discusses setting realistic care goals focused on comfort and dignity, countering feelings of inadequacy with self-affirmation. She recounts health crises involving loved ones, managing expectations, and the importance of trusting medical professionals. Boundaries, likened to a fence with a gate, help prioritize personal time without guilt.

The conversation highlights the importance of communication and support among caregivers, offering assistance in boundary-setting and resources. Sharing personal challenges in a supportive community fosters healing and empowerment among caregivers.

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If you are in an abusive relationship there is help https://www.thehotline.org/

Kathy, the host of the podcast “Tragically Beautiful,” shares her personal journey of surviving a life-threatening illness and escaping abusive relationships, which inspired her to raise awareness about abuse and share survivor stories. She recounts struggles with a health condition leading to rheumatoid arthritis and feelings of inadequacy, alongside experiences in two abusive relationships involving spiritual manipulation, infidelity, gaslighting, and emotional abuse. After divorcing her high school sweetheart due to his long-term affair and deceit linked to unresolved childhood trauma, Kathy underwent an emotional healing process that took three to four years. She emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one’s life, recognizing low self-worth as a common issue among women in unhealthy relationships, and processing emotions without suppression.

Kathy’s journey involved health coach training, mentorship, and confronting past health struggles, which helped her understand personal triggers and develop healthy boundaries. She also navigated dating apps but focused on personal growth and work, remaining content with being single. Her experiences led to the launch of the “Tragically Beautiful” podcast in June 2023, featuring solo episodes and interviews with abuse survivors. The podcast aims to provide support and guidance, with plans including a digital course called Abuse Healers Academy, focusing on self-worth, boundaries, and self-love in navigating relationships.

You can more information and detailed show notes on the website.

This episode is about Sarah Cart’s heartfelt journey, exploring the intricacies and profound impacts of caregiving, and advocating for a better understanding and support system for those who care for their loved ones. 

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You can find Sarah's book "On My Way Back to You: One Couple's Journey Through Catastrophic Illness to Hope and Healing" here.

Consider being an organ donor

About Sarah

Sarah Cart was raised and educated in New York and New England. As a freelance writer, her work appeared in multiple local publications while she and her husband, Ben, raised four sons in northeastern Ohio. Upon becoming empty nesters, the two moved to the Florida Keys. Then in 2017, Ben was diagnosed with a degenerative autoimmune disorder and over time, their relationship evolved to that of patient and caregiver, but by the dawn of 2020, Ben was dying. Ten days into the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown, his kidneys crashed, his heart was failing, and he ended up in the ICU at Cleveland Clinic Weston (FL).

Sarah’s memoir, On My Way Back to You, is more than the chronicle of Ben’s journey to death’s doorstep and back. It’s a love story about resiliency and the power of community, a roadmap through some of life’s greatest challenges and the determination of two people who relied on grit, grace, and endless patience to find their way back to each other.

Having sheltered in place in Florida for the entirety of 2020, in the wake of Ben’s undergoing miraculous lifesaving measures, they have been afforded the unanticipated gift of a future and, more than ever before, relish time spent with family and friends.

Main Theme: The Emotional and Practical Realities of Caregiving 

Episode Highlights: 

1. Sarah’s Caregiving Journey: 

• Detailed account of caring for her partner Ben, who suffers from systemic sclerosis. 
• Chronicles the severe health challenges including significant weight loss, heart complications, and a heart transplant in 2019. 
• Emotional impact of caregiving, compounded by the pandemic and another person undergoing kidney failure and heart transplant. 

1. Caregiving Complexities: 

• The narrative exposes the insufficient training and support systems for caregivers. 
• Highlights the emotional and physical toll on caregivers, stressing the need for proper recognition and support. 
• Discusses the importance of having difficult conversations about mortality and care preferences. 

1. Medical Decision-Making: 

• Emphasizes understanding patient values in medical decisions through personal anecdotes. 
• Reflection on relationships after roles have changed, bringing back lighthearted banter and communication. . 

1. Societal Implications: 

• Urges for broader societal recognition and education regarding caregiving roles. 
• Highlights the critical role of unpaid caregivers in the U.S. healthcare system. 
• Alarming statistics about caregiver mortality. 

1. Coping Mechanisms: 

• Coping strategies like journaling and mindfulness are shared. 
• Stresses the importance of self-care for caregivers. 

1. Shelly’s Insights: 

• Discusses the necessity to validate diverse coping strategies. 
• Importance of maintaining social connections beyond caregiving responsibilities. 

1. Advocacy for Organ Donation: 

• Strong advocacy for organ donation, highlighting its life-changing potential. 
• Addresses frustrations faced by patients with limited treatment options. 

Key Takeaways: 

• Caregiving is an underappreciated and under-supported role with significant emotional and physical impacts. 
• The importance of open communication and preparation for future independence. 
• The critical need for better support systems and societal recognition of caregivers. 
• Organ donation can significantly alter the course of patients’ lives, and increased awareness is essential. 

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Lisa Sugarman is an author, a nationally syndicated columnist, a three-time survivor of suicide loss, a mental health advocate, and a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project. She’s also a storyteller with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the host of The Suicide Survivor Series on YouTube. Lisa is also a Survivor of Suicide Grief & Loss Facilitator with Samaritans. She also writes the opinion column We Are Who We Are and is the author of How To Raise Perfectly Imperfect Kids And Be Ok With It, Untying Parent Anxiety, and LIFE: It Is What It Is, Her work has appeared on Healthline Parenthood, GrownAndFlown, TODAY Parents, Thrive Global, The Washington Post, LittleThings, and More Content Now. Lisa lives and writes just north of Boston. Visit her online at her website. for more information and resources talked about in the show.

In our conversation, Lisa recounts her profound experiences with loss and grief, particularly through the suicides of her cousin, father, and childhood friend. She reveals how learning at age 45 that her father’s death, long thought to be a heart attack, was actually a suicide, fundamentally altered her understanding of her past. This revelation led her into mental health advocacy, engaging with organizations focused on suicide awareness and prevention. Sugarman emphasizes storytelling as a crucial tool in processing grief and fostering vulnerability, sharing her journey of coping with her father’s death and her mother’s efforts to protect her from the truth.

Sugarman discusses the challenges children face in processing trauma and the importance of understanding family histories, including hereditary risks related to depression and anxiety. Her evolving perspective on suicide—from seeing it as a selfish act to recognizing it as a symptom of mental illness—propelled her to share her experiences more openly, eventually becoming a crisis counselor with the Trevor Project, supporting LGBTQ youth in crisis. She underscores the importance of recognizing signs of distress and advocates for supportive responses from friends and family.

She critiques the phrase “committed suicide” for its negative connotations, advocating for more compassionate language like “died by suicide.” Our conversation highlights the need to change language around sensitive topics to promote open discussions and acknowledges the unique complexities and traumas of suicide loss. Sugarman underscores the importance of intentional grief processing and seeking support, emphasizing the availability of national mental health resources and specialized support for various communities such as LGBTQ, BIPOC, and veterans. She stresses the importance of addressing emotional challenges directly and provides a mental health resource hub on her website tailored to community needs.

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In this episode, Nikki and I talk about the journey of healing from toxic relationships, emphasizing the transformative power of therapy and the importance of self-growth and boundary-setting. Nikkie shares her personal experiences that highlight key themes such as vicarious resilience, recognizing and resolving issues gradually, and the necessity of establishing boundaries post-toxic relationships. 

In early 2021, Nikki experienced what she now refers to as her “personal armageddon”, as she left a decade long abusive relationship with a narcissist and simultaneously was faced with the unexpected loss of her mother.

Navigating these events and being forced to cope with two very different types of grief at once, Nikki's perspective on mental health, personal growth, and healing through trauma shifted drastically. She feels strongly about the importance of having a strong support system and thanks to the unwavering support from her family, friends and therapist, she is happier, healthier and more at peace than she has ever been.

https://canijustsaypodcast.com/

Key Highlights: 

The Role of Therapy: 

• Therapy as a crucial tool in healing from psychological abuse. 
• The significance of recognizing toxic behaviors like gaslighting and narcissism. 
• The support provided by empathetic and skilled therapists. 

Personal Growth and Self-Worth: 

• Reflections on self-worth and the growth experienced after leaving abusive relationships. 
• Sharing personal stories to inspire and empower others facing similar challenges. 

Identifying and Addressing Toxic Behaviors: 

• In-depth discussions on gaslighting, manipulation, and trauma bonds. 
• Advice on trusting one’s instincts and maintaining composure to avoid further manipulation. 
• Encouragement to recognize red flags and prioritize personal well-being. 

Societal Norms and Women’s Independence: 

• Evolution of societal norms concerning toxic relationships and women’s independence. 
• The impact of leaving abusive relationships on personal and societal levels. 

Coping Mechanisms and Support Systems: 

• The role of meditation and strong support systems in coping with anxiety and stress. 
• Gratitude practices to manage anxiety and enhance personal growth. 

Boundaries and Self-Advocacy: 

• Importance of setting and maintaining boundaries in post-toxic relationship life. 
• Self-advocacy as a cornerstone of personal growth and healing. 

Authentic Storytelling and Representation: 

• Introduction to the speaker’s podcast, which is dedicated to authentic storytelling and giving a voice to underrepresented experiences. 

 Takeaway Message: 

There is a profound impact of therapy and self-work in healing from manipulative and toxic relationships. It calls for personal responsibility, commitment to growth, and the strength to set boundaries. By sharing these personal journeys, we aim to provide hope, inspire resilience, and promote the importance of supportive networks in the path to recovery and empowerment. 

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Dr. Catherine Darley a sleep specialist, delves into the role that sleep plays in our overall health and well-being. She provides a comprehensive overview of the three pillars of healthy sleep—duration, quality, and timing—and examines the societal hurdles contributing to widespread sleep insufficiency.

Key Discussion Points:

The Three Pillars of Healthy Sleep:

• Duration: Understanding the importance of getting enough sleep and how to determine the optimal amount for individual health.
• Quality: The significance of sleep quality and practical ways to enhance it.
• Timing: The role of timing in sleep health, including maintaining a consistent sleep schedule.

Sleep as a Health Priority:

• Catherine emphasizes the need to prioritize sleep on par with nutrition and exercise.
• Discussion on the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on cognitive performance, emotional intelligence, and overall well-being.

Societal Challenges and Sleep:

• Exploration of modern societal factors that contribute to insufficient sleep, such as work demands and screen time.
• Practical advice on managing these challenges to improve sleep quality.

For more information about Dr. Catherine Darley and where to find her check out her guest profile here.

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My guest Dr. Alice Rizzi emphasizes the importance of living according to personal values to achieve authenticity and happiness. She distinguishes values from goals and morals, noting their individualistic nature. Key topics include using value cards to identify core values, aligning goals with these values, and understanding health holistically, recognizing that health goals evolve. Mindfulness is highlighted as a crucial tool for enhancing self-awareness, identifying values, and achieving peace by staying present and accepting the moment.

The discussion also addresses therapy’s role in helping individuals acknowledge past experiences without blame and emphasizes taking responsibility for healing, particularly for women over 50 affected by societal expectations. Tools like self-awareness, questioning beliefs, and mindfulness are recommended for challenging ingrained values and fostering self-growth. The conversation underscores the importance of aligning actions with personal values, building genuine connections through authenticity, and practicing self-compassion and mindfulness. Dr. Rizzi provides insights on mindfulness, emphasizing self-reflection and offering practical advice for daily mindfulness practices.

You can find Dr. Rizzi here

https://www.togethermindful.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dralicerizzi/

https://www.facebook.com/DrAliceRizzi/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/alicebrizzi/

Main Theme: Living According to Personal Values for Authenticity and Happiness

Key Highlights:

1. Understanding Personal Values:

• Dr. Alice Rizzi distinguishes between values, goals, and morals.
• Values are highly individualistic and crucial for achieving authenticity.

1. Identifying Core Values:

• Introduction of value cards as a tool to identify and understand one’s core values.
• Emphasis on aligning personal goals with these core values.

1. Holistic Health Approach:

• Health is seen as an evolving concept, with goals changing over time.
• Importance of viewing health holistically.

1. Mindfulness and Self-Awareness:

• Mindfulness as a vital practice for enhancing self-awareness and identifying values.
• Achieving peace by staying present and accepting the moment.

1. Therapy and Healing:

• Therapy helps individuals acknowledge past experiences without blame.
• Focus on taking responsibility for one’s healing journey, especially for women over 50 facing societal pressures.

1. Tools for Self-Growth:

• Self-awareness, questioning beliefs, and mindfulness as essential tools.
• Challenging ingrained values to foster self-growth.

1. Authenticity and Genuine Connections:

• Importance of aligning actions with personal values.
• Building genuine connections through authenticity.

1. Self-Compassion and Mindfulness Practices:

• Practicing self-compassion and mindfulness in daily life.
• Dr. Rizzi’s insights on mindfulness and practical advice for incorporating it into everyday routines.

Join us for an insightful conversation with Dr. Alice Rizzi as we explore the journey to authenticity and happiness through the power of personal values, mindfulness, and holistic health.