Empowered

Arachnid Manipulation: In Soviet Hogwarts, the spiders gotta follow you!

Tom Arnold Power: I wasn’t going to include this but it’s #333 - half the

number of the beast - which felt appropriate.

Thin Surface Zipping: As misleading as it is suggestive-sounding.

Sound Shield Construction: If “La La La I’m not listening” worked on

bullets.

Apocalyptic Artillery: I do not know what weapons World War 3 will be

fought with, but afterwards we’re watching Gilligan’s Isle.

Supernatural Speed: So fast it’s unnatural, not so fast you’re a ghost.

Newtonian Motion Defiance: Nothing’s gonna bring you down.

Terraportation: Whack-a-mole GO

Illusionary Environment: Now you see it, now you’re in it!

Damage Reduction: Go from a “7” on the pain chart to like a “4”.