Empowered Sobriety

Empowered Sobriety

By Empowered SobrietyEducationSelf-Improvement
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Empowered Sobriety episodes

  • EP15 Inner Child Work and Sobriety

    This week on Empowered Sobriety, Lindsay Fano and Abby Gerber talk about Inner Child work as a tool that we both use in our personal development work, in our sobriety and in our coaching businesses.

    Abby & Lindsay break down inner child work and explains what the concept of inner child is. Abby shares her own experience working with her inner child through her work. Abby speaks about her awareness of this in her family lineage. Emphasizing that this is not about BLAME, this is about the healing that is happening and how this is an opportunity to repair. Abby & Lindsay provide numerous amounts of examples of how this has showed up for each of them in their life and how the healing process has helped them in their lives. There is so much wisdom in this episode! Reference to Preston Smiles, "you cannot intervene in a world you cannot see."

    Take aways:

    • Find a photo of you as a child and place it somewhere in your space that you can see everyday. Acknowledge her/him each day. Let your inner child know you are with them. If you do not have a photo of you as a child, draw a picture, feel free to use colored pencils, crayons or a pencil. Get creative and just let it flow, this may take time to drop into but over time this can really help you connect. You can also write to your inner child on a piece of paper with your dominant hand. Then you can answer the questions writing with your left hand. This is a huge opportunity for connection.
    • Validation and Acknowledgment. Validate your own experiences and how you felt as a child. Sometimes you will be able to visualize your inner child through meditation or you can feel them in your somatic body. The memory is just energy moving through you. This is not about fixing anything that they are experiencing or feeling. This is about validation and permission to feel the depths of what is present.
      • This is all about connection!

        • Resource: Home Coming - Reclaiming and Healing your Inner Child by John Bradshaw

        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions. We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!!  If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us! 

        48 min
      • EP14 How Feelings of Unworthiness Can Lead to Addiction
        This week on Empowered Sobriety, Lindsay Fano and Abby Gerber talk about how addictions can be the results of traumas that occurred in early life and how suppression tactics, such as drug use, can help us survive and cope.  Listen in as they use their own personal experiences of alcohol addictions and how they each have worked (and currently working) through their traumas and wounding.
        Lindsay’s Wisdom:
        Because of her father wounding and her mother wounding, she experienced feelings of unworthiness and lack intimacy, love and connection.  
        ***Her alcohol use allowed her to dull and suppress her feelings of unworthiness that she was experiencing but it created unhealthy patterns and behaviors. 
        ***She breaks down what feeling “unworthy” looked like for her and how she behaved and responded around that core wounding.
        ***Her extreme mixed messages from her father led to her seeking connection, love and intimacy through promiscuity, unhealthy relationships and not feeling aligned within herself and how those behaviors resulted in a lot of shame and guilt. 
        ***She also reveals how she was able to sit with the long suppressed feelings of guilt and shame through her work with life coaches, therapists, support groups and AA. And also the wisdom she learned through her relapse two years into her sobriety. 
        Abby’s Wisdom:
        ***She opens up how she felt so uncomfortable and awkward in her own skin growing up and how that led to her wounding of never feeling good enough based on her rigid familial belief systems. 
        ***She talks about using alcohol, marijuana and cocaine in high school to fit in. She discusses how not feeling good enough led her to do whatever she was told but didn’t know how to ask for support, which then led to many college attempts and eventual failing grades and dropping out.  
        ***Her addiction allowed to feel relief from all the pressure she was feeling and tap into her anger when she was drunk but eventually her pain was constant and even alcohol couldn’t suppress it any longer and she sought other ways to find relief, such as cutting.
        ***She also talks about her early sobriety tools and resources that she picked up along the way.
        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        37 min
      • EP13 Relationships, Dating & Sex in Sobriety
        Today's Episode on Empowered Sobriety is intimate & juicy! Abby & Lindsay discuss their relationship experiences while in their addictions and in sobriety. As well as dating and sex! Some take aways from this Episode of Empowered Sobriety:
        Abby begins by diving into her first sexual experience at 15. She explains that there was in fact alcohol involved, hanging with older guys and wanting to "fit in", coming from no sense of self. Abby also references people pleasing and not wanting to say no in fear of not fitting in or people getting mad at her. Her fears of rejection, or people leaving. 
        Abby speaks to how she approaches dating today and what her experiences have been like. Abby touches on her attachment style that was presenting while dating for the first time since her divorce.
        Lindsay and Abby reflect on having these experiences in dating and how there can be so many gifts, helping us heal further and coming home to ourselves. 
        Abby shares about her  personal experience with intimacy in her past marriage, once she got sober really focusing on the vulnerability and openness in the relationship and them not being on the same page once she was ready. Abby comments how in this marriage she became her mother and he became her father. Not realizing this until the divorce, and now seeing how that has played out and where she can heal. 
        Abby and Lindsay discuss pleasure and the many ways we perceive experiencing pleasure. Some of Abby's favorite quotes, "fall in love with yourself" & "you're the one you've been waiting for". Still discovering how to meet her own needs, and loving herself fully.
        Lindsay shares about her past as far back as being a young child and having divorced parents. How their divorce effected her and her relationships. Lindsay talks about her perception of her parents divorce, the chaos that comes with that and how she viewed her Dad in his experience. 
        Lindsay reflects on managing her parents emotions/reactions as a child, and how that is showing up in her romantic relationships. Who she "needs" to be or become in order to be worthy of love. The over sexualization of herself in high school and all of her patterns and behaviors that got her needs met.  
        Lindsay vulnerably shares about her experiences with boys in High School,  and how the stories and beliefs were solidified by these experiences. Recreating the relationship with her parents and wanting to be chosen. 
        Lindsay goes on to speak about her two serious relationships. The hardships, the obstacles and all of the beautiful mirrors and blessings that have come from them. 
        Abby & Lindsay discuss how relationships are some of our biggest teachers. Our partners in relationships can be such beautiful mirrors for us. And we speak to the wisdom and lessons and blessings that have come from our beautiful relationships. 
        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        46 min
      • EP12 Non alcoholic beer, wine and liquor PLUS our definitions of Sobriety
        Today’s episode on Empowered Sobriety Podcast hopefully inspires some discussion in our sober community. Lindsay Fano and Abby Gerber discuss Non-Alcoholic spirits, wine and beer. Plus, we share openly how we both define Sobriety!
        Some highlights:
        Lindsay’s Take:
        ***She drank NA beer before and after her relapse five years ago but understands that she changed her environment to a more supportive one where she doesn’t always need NA beer to hang. When she does make the choice to drink NA beer, she knows it doesn’t affect her sobriety.
        Lindsay also talks about the spectrum of alcoholism and how that may look for people and how that may affect their choice to drink non-alcoholic beer or wine.
        Abby’s Take:
        ***Since Abby is also an Herbalist, some of her herbal medicine contains alcohol but it is not a trigger for her. However, she did choose to not drink NA beer, wine or spirits during her first year of sobriety. She will partake in NA beverages from time to time but just like Lindsay, feels secure in her sobriety.
        They also discuss how the alcohol industry is changing to accommodate the sober crowd and all of the different choices sober people now have if they want to go that route.
        Lindsay and Abby also discuss their definitions of sobriety and dig into what sobriety looks like for them. Since they both have had a lot of trauma work, they see their addictions to alcohol a bit differently than what the “accepted” definition of sobriety in our western culture.
        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        44 min
      • EP11 Gifts of 12 Step Recovery with Bridget
        Empowered Sobriety, todays episode we have a fellow sober sister who is a trauma informed life coach, a mother and corporate professional. Welcome Bridget! Bridget shares her story, her discovery of her addiction to alcohol to feeling like she may be the only woman in the world with an addiction to alcohol. Her many attempts and fails getting sober. To when sobriety finally stuck for her. Bridget speaks to her all of the different stages of her addiction to alcohol and how it’s been being sober for the last ten years. This is an episode you do not want to miss! Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        45 min
      • EP10 Abby Celebrates 4 Years of Sobriety!
        This week on Empowered Sobriety, Abby celebrates 4 years of sobriety! She breaks it down with Lindsay about her four years of sobriety and the lessons that came with each year.
        Year 1: Abby didn’t start her first year as “sober”.  She decided to take a year off from drinking but towards the end of that year, she decided to officially become “sober”. Lindsay prompts her to dig more into her decision to keep going beyond the one year.
        Year 2: What it felt like for her to be sober in the pandemic and how her sobriety led to her and her ex-husband to separate.  Lindsay later on asks her to break down the differences between her and her ex-husband, who is not sober, that eventually led to their separation and divorce.
        Year 3: The Year of Grief! Abby talks about grieving the loss of her marriage and also all the other stuck grief that started to come up.  But when there is darkness, there is sure to be light around the corner at some point! Abby found herself having fun for the first time since quitting drinking and also her deepening connection to the Earth.
        Year 4: Lindsay asks Abby to reflect on this last year in her sobriety.  Most of her time last year was spent studying at Elementum Coaching Institute and what going deep into personal development looked like for her.
        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        35 min
      • EP09 Coaching Call With Ashia: Is my drinking a habit or an addiction?
        Empowered Sobriety, todays episode is a coaching call with Ashia, our very first guest! Abby & Lindsay coach Ashia through a session where Ashia is looking for clarity about her drinking being a habit or an addiction. Abby introduces Ashia, who is a former client of hers! 
        Lindsay begins by asking Ashia what her relationship to alcohol is today or “what does your drinking look like?” Ashia explains what resonates most with her and shares that her vocabulary has been about going into "auto-pilot" and someone close to her pointed out her auto-pilot could be disassociation. Ashia then shares her trauma from childhood that involved alcohol and how that shows up for her in her adult life. Especially in social settings. Ashia is aware of the disassociation and when she comes back from it.
        Lindsay asks Ashia if she has done any somatic therapy or somatic healing around that trauma. Ashia explains she has done some work around it but understands she can do more and acknowledges she still suppresses it. Abby and Lindsay acknowledge Ashia & where she is in her journey and experience. 
        At this point Ashia looks for clarity about her drinking being a habit or an addiction and expresses her confusion. Abby clarifies and reflects what she has gathered from Ashias shares. Abby asks Ashia to use her intuition and asks Ashia what she feels her relationship to alcohol is? An addition or a habit? Ashia shared she believes her relationship with alcohol to be habitual. Ashia shares and explains she understands the difference between habit and addiction. She sees her relationship to alcohol to be healthy, but once the disassociation happens, there lies the problem. Because the disassociation doesn’t happen all of the time. She is not ever anticipating it. 
        Lindsay has follow up questions about Ashias awareness around the sensations leading up to when she goes out drinking or has a get together to attend. Ashia explains she is in tune with her body, and the disassociation doesn’t happen every time so it’s not something she thinks about. 
        Abby explains she doesn’t think the question is habit or addiction, it’s HOW are you using alcohol? She continues to expand on it being a triggering coping mechanism. 
        Ashia talks about her friend and their conversations around her drinking. Ashia explains she’s just looking for clarification to understand how to move forward. Lindsay shares and explains to Ashia it is only Ashia that can deem her relationship to alcohol a habit or an addiction. It is not up to Abby or Lindsay to label it for her. We are here to support and provide clarity but not give her the label. 
        Abby offers up that the disassociation can be a sign post. 
        Lindsay speaks to the subconscious mind and creating an opening, an invitation, a divine intervention to go deeper into the somatic body and healing the childhood trauma. 
        Abby acknowledges Ashias friends for supporting her and reflecting back to her. 
        Abby & Lindsay address traumas loops, too much, too soon, too fast. 
        Abby clarifies different modalities they used in their sessions and suggests alternatives. 
        Lindsay speaks to building a tool box to help support Ashia through her journey. 
        Lindsay asks Ashia to check in with her paradigms.
        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        37 min
      • EP08 Inside a Sober Coaching Session
        This week on Empowered Sobriety, we have a really awesome and intimate episode for y’all today.  We both decided to give you all an inside look into what trauma-informed life coaching actually looks like.  Lindsay coaches Abby on her recent hiking fall while she was on Kauai.  Abby is noticing that she is still very emotional in certain settings and would like some support on releasing trauma from her body.
        Laying the groundwork:
        –Abby notices that she has emotional releases when she is in a supportive environment such as the acupuncture clinic or hugging her gym coach.
        –She is also noticing that she is going into hypoarousal and feels like she is going through a depression.  There is a fear for her to be “depressed” because it brings up the past when she went through deep depression years ago.
        The Discovery Process:
        –Lindsay asks Abby to look inside and ask herself what she thinks that fall has brought forward for her.
        –Lindsay honors Abby’s awareness of her cravings for alcohol and also highlights for Abby how she used her intuition within her own body to guide her.
        –Abby doesn’t let people do anything for her and there is a mistrust in people’s intentions for helping her.
        Somatic Work:
        –Lindsay beautifully guides Abby through a somatic exercise to tap into the energy that she was feeling in her body at that moment.  This helps her release sadness from within her body.
        –Through this huge somatic release, she realizes that she has difficulty asking for help. She opens up on where this may have come from in her childhood.
        The Awakening:
        –Lindsay helps Abby discover that she has boundary issues around her time and how this is tied to her people pleasing survival program.
        –Together, they come up with ways for Abby to support herself as she sets boundaries around her time and meeting her own needs first. Then she can come from overflow instead out of people pleasing.   
        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        39 min
      • EP07 Our Intentions for 2023 plus a 40 Day Challenge!
        This week on Empowered Sobriety, Abby and Lindsay discuss what they would like to call in from the Universe and their intentions for 2023. They also enter into a 40 day challenge!
        Lindsay starts off her intentions for 2023 with:
        Getting to know and build a loving relationship with herself.  Interrupting her old and unhelpful patterns and having loving dialogue with her inner child in those moments.  And also allowing herself to have emotional releases.
        Abby’s Intentions for 2023:
        She finally listens to the whispers of practicing patience and allowing herself to let go and trust.  She has a few goals that she wants to meet this year and patience will help her achieve them.
        40 Day Challenge!
        Pick one thing to stop, start and modify/change.  
        Abby’s 40 Day Challenge:
        Stopping: Processed sugar
        Starting: Mirror work exercise for 20 minutes a day.
        Changing/Modifying: Meditation practice will be 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night plus chanting with her Buddhist group two times a week.
        Lindsay’s 40 Day Challenge:
        Stopping: Morning phone scroll for 2 hours in the morning.
        Starting: 3 deep breaths before each meal.
        Changing/Modifying: Continuing to cut out soda plus cutting out processed sugar
        Takeaways:
        1. Take the focus off the “end result” and enjoy the steps in between by practicing presence and patience.
        2. Looking deeper within ourselves allows us to repair and heal so that we can empower ourselves to live a more fulfilled life.
        Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        21 min
      • EP06 What Lindsay & Abby are Releasing & Leaving in 2022
        In episode 6 of Empowered Sobriety Abby & Lindsay share what they are releasing and leaving behind in 2022.
        Abby shares first and lists 3 things she is releasing and leaving in 2022.
        #1 - Perfectionism - Abby describes perfectionism as one of her trauma responses. She shares memories of coming home and cleaning when dysregulated or activated. Creating this sense of control while cleaning, created safety. Abby also speaks to caring about what others think. The belief is if she is not living her life a certain way, then people will be mad at her or will judge her. Coming from a fear of being outcast. Abby addresses being a recovering judger and people pleaser. She is continuously redirecting her judger part and people please part. Lindsay reflects on Abby's share about trying to control her environment and/or those around her. Lindsay speaks to this part wanting to create safety. Abby continues to share her experiences trying to create safety in herself and her environment. 
        #2 - Control - Abby speaks to control being one of her survival mechanisms. Controlling her own surroundings created safety by not having to experience punishment or disruption in her home. Abby continues to see where she is trying to control, speaking to that part and provide reassurance that everyone is having their own experience. Abby talks about relinquishing control in a recent situation with her ex-husband. Lindsay presents a question for the listeners: When was the last time you just sat in stillness and silence to be present with yourself with no distractions? Lindsay and Abby discuss stillness and being present as a practice.
        #3 - Being at war with my body - Abby reflects on being in Kauai recently and just how aware she was to everyone's bodies surrounding her on the island and being judgmental or her own body. Abby speaks about her relationship to her body and not being able to touch or look at her own body. Being in an accident in Kauai brought such awareness to her body by focusing on healing when she got back. When we ask, the universe delivers.
        Lindsay then shares the 3 things she is releasing and leaving behind in 2022.
        #1 - Need to hold & control - Lindsay shares how the holding plays out in her day to day life especially through her body. Such as, gripping the steering wheel extra tight for long periods of time while driving or clenching her entire body at her desk. Her verrucous veins and gut issues have been indicators for her. Lindsay gives an example about going to get a colonic and things not going smoothly. Lindsay lists some behaviors she has begun to shift to lower stress levels and start releasing. Abby asks about where this pattern of holding comes from and Lindsay shares about when it started in her childhood.
        #2 - Proving to romantic partners I am worthy of love - Lindsay talks about how she has shown up in romantic relationships as "not enough" and needing to prove herself and prove that she is worthy of being loved and seen. Lindsay shares how Elementum (life coaching program) revealed this to her and how she plans to work with all her shadows and integrate all parts of herself, moving forward. Lindsay addresses an Elementum coach giving her a mirror practice to repair, to apologize and forgive herself. 
        #3 - Stop trying to heal through shame & judgment - Lindsay elaborates, explaining that she tries to shame herself to make better choices. She also speaks to all of the judgment that comes up when she doesn't "do the right thing". Eating a certain type of food or skipping a workout, etc. Lindsay shares about how we cannot shame or judge ourselves into healing. Healing comes from love and compassion. Follow us on Instagram @empoweredsobrietypodcast and email us at [email protected] for comments or questions.
        We would love it if you could take the time to leave us a rating and review!! 
        If you’d like to be coached by us or to be a guest, please email us!
        44 min

      About Empowered Sobriety

      From the publisher's feed

      Empowered Sobriety is a weekly podcast for all stages of sobriety and open to all addictions. Lindsay Fano and Abby Gerber are trauma informed Life Coaches who are empowering individuals to look…