Ep. 16: Stop Feeling Like a “Bad Daughter” 
From Obligation to Choice: Relearning How to Show Up with Immigrant Parents

Join my Free Training: Discover the secret to feeling more emotionally secure when spending time with your immigrant parents without people pleasing & spiraling in guilt
➡️ https://heyallisonly.com/secret
I shared my story as a daughter of immigrant parents and why this work around guilt, people pleasing, and emotional self-care matters so deeply.

I talk about the invisible emotional weight many adults with immigrant parents carry, the pressure to always show up, and how guilt and negative self-talk can quietly drive our choices without us even realizing it.

This episode explores:
- Why small moments with immigrant parents can feel unexpectedly heavy
- What happens when you force yourself to show up when you’re already depleted
- Why self-care isn’t selfish, especially in immigrant families
- How learning emotional regulation skills can help you feel better sooner
- The importance of repair
- Why boundaries don’t mean you love your parents less
This episode is for adults with immigrant parents who:
- Feel stuck between caring for themselves and caring for family
- Struggle with guilt, resentment, or people pleasing
- Want healthier relationships without cutting ties
- Are tired of feeling emotionally exhausted after family interactions
You don’t have to choose between yourself and your parents.

There are more options than you think.
Join my Free Training to learn more about your optionsAnd also learn practical tools to help you stop spiraling in guilt and start feeling more emotionally secure with your immigrant parents.

👉 Sign up here: https://heyallisonly.com/secret

📅 February 26, 2026 (or visit the link for the next available training)

More From Allison Ly – Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries:
https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk:
https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones:
https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource

Get my weekly emails with actionable tips, tools, and relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents:
https://heyallisonly.com/email
Episode Timeline:0:30 - Why This Work Matters1:00 - The Immigrant Parent Experience2:00 - How I Got My Time Back3:30 - Real Example: Today's Letter7:30 - You Have the Power to Feel Better8:30 - Moving Out13:00 - Breaking the Autopilot Pattern15:00 - Join us Feb 26, 2026
Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/17

The First Step To Stop the Overwhelm

Ep. 16: When You Feel Yourself Getting Overwhelmed, Do This

➡️ Join my Free Training: Discover the secret to feeling more emotionally secure when spending time with your immigrant parents without people pleasing & spiraling in guilt

https://heyallisonly.com/secret

** I can't find that reel I was talking about - sorry! DM @heyallisonly the reel if you know what I'm talking about. Thanks in advance!

Ep. 16: Before You Lose it
Sometimes it isn’t about setting boundaries perfectly or having the right script ready.
And it’s not about fixing anyone or pushing through harder.
It’s about noticing when your body is overloaded.
And then doing something about it. 
The “doing” I am talking about is different than what you think that will actually help you show up better.
I talk about this and more:
• Ways overstimulation can build
• How perfectionism and urgency quietly add pressure
• Why taking space doesn’t mean you don’t care

If you’ve ever felt overstimulated, tense, or disconnected while surrounded by people you love, this episode is for you.

More From Allison Ly – Free Resources:
Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries:
https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet
3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk:
https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start
Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones:
https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource
Get my weekly emails with actionable tips, tools, and relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents:
https://heyallisonly.com/email

Episode Timeline:
01:00 How Perfectionism Adds to Stress
03:49 What to Do When Overwhelm Kicks In
07:40 Calm Down with This
11:34 Check-ins
11:59 Free Training for Adults with Immigrant Parents

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/16

Ep. 15: It’s Not Just Stuff: Why Letting Go Feels So Hard featuring Dr. Christine Li, Procrastination Coach and Clinical Psychologist

Like this conversation? 
Join my exclusive email community for adults with immigrant parents: 
https://heyallisonly.com/email

Featured Guest:
Dr. Christine Li, Procrastination Coach and Clinical Psychologist

Freebie: https://maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/clutter 
Website: https://procrastinationcoach.com 
Instagram: @procrastinationcoach 
TikTok: @procrastinationcoach 
Podcast: Make Time For Success

In this episode of Empowered with Immigrant Parents, Allison Ly is joined by Dr. Christine Li for a conversation that goes deeper than productivity tips or mindset hacks.

We explore how cultural expectations, scarcity, and responsibility shape the way many second-generation adults relate to time, clutter, and pressure.

And how having and carrying too much for too long can quietly drain your energy, focus, and joy.

This episode isn’t about working harder or becoming more disciplined.

It’s about understanding the emotional patterns behind stress and overwhelm, especially for adults raised in immigrant households.

We talk about:
 • Why “doing things differently” can bring guilt
 • How family dynamics affect procrastination and burnout
 • What it really means to stop disappointing yourself
 • And how awareness can shift your relationship with responsibility without abandoning your family

We dive into the importance of embracing positive aspects of Asian culture, managing stress and clutter, and overcoming procrastination. 

Dr. Li shares her accidental journey into clinical psychology, her past struggles with procrastination, and tips for adults with immigrant parents to navigate family expectations while staying true to themselves. 

Learn how to start decluttering and reprogram your mindset for success. 

More From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:

Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start 

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource 

Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email

Episode Timeline:
00:00 Intro: Reprogramming Your Thoughts
00:42 Meet Dr. Christine Li: Procrastination Coach, Clinical Psychologist
03:23 Family Expectations vs Personal Growth as an Adult with Immigrant Parents
07:46 Becoming a Clinical Psychologist Outside Traditional Career Paths
09:48 Procrastination, Stress, and Overwhelm in Second-Generation Adults
20:24 Decluttering, Scarcity Mindset, and Emotional Wellbeing
29:12 Letting Go of Guilt, Responsibility, and Old Family Patterns
31:25 How to Continue the Work

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/15

EP. 14: Balancing Expectations: Navigating Life as a Second-Gen with Immigrant Parents with Jay Razzouk, Corporate Attorney and Co-Founder of ProSCALE Legal

Allison Ly and Jay Razzouk delves into the multifaceted experiences of adults with immigrant parents.

Featured Guest: Jay Razzouk
Jay Razzouk is a corporate attorney and co-founder of ProSCALE Legal
Website: https://www.avvo.com/attorneys/92408-ca-jay-razzouk-1908039.html
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayrazzouk
Facebook: http://businesslegaltips.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayrazzouk

Have you ever felt like you’re carrying an invisible job title in your family… with no training, no paycheck, and somehow you’re still expected to be “grateful” for it?

In this episode, Allison is interviewed by Jay Razzouk (corporate attorney + co-founder of ProSCALE Legal) and we talk about the real weight a lot of adults with immigrant parents carry: being the interpreter, the fixer, the supporter, the responsible one… while trying to build your own life too.

We get into what happens when you don’t name these roles (burnout, resentment, emotional exhaustion), and why learning boundaries + communication isn’t about becoming “selfish”… it’s about creating relationships you can actually stay in without abandoning yourself.

Allison also shares personal experiences and offers strategies for setting boundaries and effective communication to maintain healthy familial relationships.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between two cultures, two sets of expectations, and two truths at the same time, take a listen to this episode.

(This episode was taken from when Allison was a guest on Jay Razzouk’s Business Legal Tips Group on Facebook; you can join that group here: http://businesslegaltips.com).

More about Jay:
Jay equips coaches, influencers, and mastermind leaders with the little-known legal strategies and paperwork that they don’t even know they need to scale to 7 figures and beyond. Like most people, Jay doesn’t like contracts. This is why he’s pioneering the “ProAct”™ – a turnkey framework-in-a-box designed to boost profits and build life-long relationships while protecting one’s legacy.

👉Join Jay’s Business Legal Tips group: http://businesslegaltips.com
👉Discover How to Avoid the 3 Big Costly Legal Mistakes Most Online Entrepreneurs Make: https://proscalelegal.com/gift

Allison’s Free Resources:
Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource

Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email


Episode Timeline:
00:00 The Invisible Role You’ve Been Carrying
03:58 What Being “Second Gen” Really Means
06:08 Family Expectations vs Your Life
12:22 Boundaries Without Guilt
14:59 The Real Cost of Keeping the Peace
16:41 How This Quietly Affects You
22:35 Why Boundaries Strengthen Relationships
25:10 What Happens When You Don’t Set Boundaries
33:05 What’s Really Under the Conflict
34:36 Support for Adults with Immigrant Parents

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/14

How to Feel More Understood 

Ep. 13: First Steps to Feeling More Understood for Adults with Immigrant Parents

Get on Allison's Waitlist: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/list

In this episode of Empowered with Immigrant Parents, I answer a listener question that so many of us think about. 

How do I feel more understood by the people closest to me?

If you grew up in an immigrant household where speaking up felt uncomfortable or where your needs were not the focus, it makes sense that expressing yourself today feels hard. When we never got to practice choosing, sharing, or even noticing what we want, it becomes really difficult for others to understand us.

I talk about the difference between being heard and being understood, why decision making can feel stressful for adults with immigrant parents, and what it looks like to slowly build the skill of naming your needs. I also offer a few simple everyday examples to help you notice where this shows up in your daily life and how you can begin shifting it.

This conversation is for anyone who wants to feel more connected, more seen, and more confident in their relationships. 

If you have ever wondered why it feels so hard to explain what you need, this episode will help you understand where that comes from and what you can start practicing today.

Episode Timeline:
00:45 Listener Question: Feeling Understood
01:09 Challenges in Immigrant Households
02:09 The Importance of Self-Understanding
04:18 Practicing This
06:12 Understanding and Being Understood
09:09 What to Try

More from Allison:
Instagram:  ⁨@heyallisonly⁩  
Website: https://heyallisonly.com

Free Resources:
Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start 

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource 

Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/13

Why to Stop Aiming for Perfection

Ep. 12: Breaking Perfect featuring Chris Oeurn, Camera Operator

Want more like this? Join my adults with immigrant parents email community: 
https://heyallisonly.com/email

Featured Guest:
Chris Oeurn, Camera Operator
Instagram: @chrisoeurn
Website: https://framingup.com

This episode "Breaking Perfect" is "perfect" for you if... you grew up with immigrant parents and relate to the following: 
- Feeling like you had/have to be perfect.
- Feeling like you had to be grateful all the time
- Feeling pressured to succeed because you “had it easier”.

In this episode Chris Oeurn, a camera operator and fellow second generation adult shares about how Chris navigates the ideas of perfection, pressure, and imposter syndrome while building a successful career in the motion picture industry.

Chris brings an honest, rare, behind the scenes look at what it means to navigate creative work, personal growth and cultural/societal expectations all at the same time. 

Whether or not you work in the motion picture industry, the stories, tips and tools are so relatable. Chris shares so many great insights that will help you rethink how you talk to yourself when things feel heavy.

More from Allison:
Instagram:  @heyallisonly  
Website: https://heyallisonly.com

Free Resources:
Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start 

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource 

Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email

Episode Timeline:
00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Myth of Perfection
02:00 Why Perfection Feels Like Safety
03:15 What We Tell Our Parents about Our Jobs
06:00 The Surprising Mix of the Camera Operator Role
08:00 The Pressure to not "mess up"
12:00 Managing Imposter Syndrome
17:00 Generational Trauma, Resilience, and Growth
20:00 Tools for Success for High Achievers
23:00 Why Doing More Isn’t Always the Answer

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/12

Ep. 11: Showing Up Imperfectly: My First Episode Back After Maternity Leave

I’m back! Imperfect and all!

This episode is about showing up without waiting for the perfect conditions.

After maternity leave, and with the transition from one kid to two, I took a longer break than planned. And honestly? I needed it. But I also needed to break the pattern of waiting until things feel perfect before coming back.

So here I am… recording on my phone, holding a mic, in the middle of real life.

Because adults with immigrant parents?

We know how to show up even when things aren’t perfect. We’ve been doing it our whole lives.

Inside this candid solo episode, I talk about:
✔ The perfectionism and hypervigilance we carry as adults with immigrant parents
✔ Why so many of us feel the need to be prepared, planned, and organized before we even start something… and how that pressure follows us into adulthood, motherhood, career, everything.
✔ Doing things imperfectly,  and why it matters for our healing
✔  Finding joy again when you’re in survival mode
✔ Simple ways to bring back things you loved as a kid (like reading!) without needing to be perfect, fast, or productive about it.
✔ Why asking for help is still so hard, but necessary!

🎧 If you’re an adult with immigrant parents who struggles with perfectionism, pressure, or putting your needs last… this episode is for you.

Whether you’re returning from a life transition or trying to start something you’ve been putting off, I hope this conversation reminds you: You don’t have to do it perfectly for it to matter.

More from Allison:
Instagram:  @heyallisonly  
Website: https://heyallisonly.com

Free Resources:
Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start 

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource 

Join My Adults with Immigrant Parents Email Community: https://heyallisonly.com/email 
If you want weekly stories, tools, and conversations created just for adults with immigrant parents, join my email list. It’s the best place to send me your questions, episode ideas, or share what resonated.

Show notes and more: 
https://www.heyallisonly.com/podcast/11 

Episode 10: How to Shift Your Mindset in Everyday Moments

🎧 Empowered with Immigrant Parents Podcast with Allison Ly

Gotta show up even when its not perfect! Apologies for the grid lines

Feeling stuck doing something you really don’t want to do for yourself or for your parents?
Maybe you are running an annoying errand or have to help your parents with something you don't really want to do.

In this episode, Allison Ly shares how even in those moments, you still have a choice.

She walks through a real-life story (complete with boba, sunshine, and boundaries!) to show how small shifts in your mindset and preparation can completely change how you experience a frustrating day.

This episode is perfect for adults with immigrant parents who feel like they’re always “on,” always giving, and rarely taking time to center their own needs.

Learn how to:
 ✔ Reframe negative thoughts
 ✔ Set small, realistic boundaries with yourself
 ✔ Use thought work to feel more grounded
 ✔ Make space for yourself—even during life’s errands and responsibilities

You don’t have to wait for life to slow down; you can choose how you show up, even in the chaos.

👇 If this resonated with you, hit subscribe, share with a friend, and let me know in the comments: What’s one small choice you can make today to care for yourself?

____

If you’re wanting more support on this, work with me:
Let’s do some 1:1 coaching:
https://unshakengen.thrivecart.com/1coaching/

Get on the waitlist for Unshaken Confidence, a program designed to help adults with immigrant parents live more of their lives in the way they want, WHILE also caring for those they love.
https://www.heyallisonly.com/course

Episode Timeline:
00:00 The Power of Choice
00:25 Welcome to Empowered with Immigrant Parents
00:36 A Personal Story
01:48 Making the Most of Your Time
03:25 The Importance of Mindset and Preparation
04:55 Practical Tips for Self-Care and Flexibility
07:37 Empower Yourself with Choices
08:46 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/10
____

Free Resources:
Sign up to get actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents, in my email community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

Episode 09: 3 Ways to Take Up Space Without Guilt: 3 Thoughts to Challenge

In Part 2 of our conversation about taking up space, we’re diving into the real thoughts that hold adults with immigrant parents back — and how to challenge them so you can live more fully and authentically.

If you've ever found yourself thinking:

- “I should be grateful and not ask for more.”
- “I'm asking for too much.”
- “What will people think if I speak up?”

...then this episode is for you.

We’ll break down how you can start taking up space in small ways that will feel good to you — without guilt, fear, or overwhelm. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why gratitude and ambition can coexist
- How to reframe "asking for too much"
- Why you don’t have to guess what others are thinking
- Practical ways to practice taking up space — starting small
- How knowing your values helps you advocate for yourself

Taking up space isn’t about abandoning your family or your culture — it’s about showing up for you and caring for others without losing yourself.
If you’re ready to stop feeling burnt out and start living more aligned with who you truly are, listen in. 💛

Episodes Mentioned:
Part 1 of 3. The Repay Cycle™ in Immigrant Families. Ever Feel Guilty No Matter What You Do? This Might Be Why
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYxHiBoa3xU

Part 1 of 2 on Taking Up Space. It’s Not Your Fault: Why It’s Hard for Adults with Immigrant Parents to Take Up Space
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66uqkLMYHYw 

If you’re wanting more support on this, work with me:

- Let’s do some 1:1 coaching: https://unshakengen.thrivecart.com/1coaching/ 

- Get on the waitlist for Unshaken Confidence: https://www.heyallisonly.com/course 
A program designed to help adults with immigrant parents live more of their lives in the way they want, WHILE also caring for those they love.  

Episode 08: Why Adults with Immigrant Parents Struggle to Take Up Space 

Ever find it hard to take up space — to speak up, ask for what you need, or even just exist fully in a room? You’re not alone. 

In this episode, Allison Ly breaks down why it can feel especially challenging for adults with immigrant parents to take up space, whether that’s emotionally, mentally, or physically.

Allison walks through some of the biggest reasons adults with immigrant parents, like you, face that complicate self-expression, and the impact of not seeing yourself represented growing up. She also shares how survival mode can keep you from even thinking about taking up more space — and why none of this is your fault.

Get a powerful reflection prompt to help you notice what’s getting in the way of you taking up space.
Tune in to understand these complexities and learn how to begin advocating for yourself.

If you’re wanting more support on this, work with me:
Let’s do some 1:1 coaching: 
https://unshakengen.thrivecart.com/1coaching/ 

Get on the waitlist for Unshaken Confidence, a program designed to help adults with immigrant parents live more of their lives in the way they want, WHILE also caring for those they love. 
https://www.heyallisonly.com/course 

Episode Timeline:
00:00 Do You Take Up Space?
00:14 Why It's Hard for Adults with Immigrant Parents to Take Up Space
01:47 Cultural and Language Barriers
04:44 Media Representation and Its Impact
07:01 External Factors Impacting Ability to Take Up Space
10:21 Question for You 

Get the visual mentioned and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/8
____

Sign up to get actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents, in my free email community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk (Free Training): https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start