You Always Have a Choice:  Choose How to Show Up In Everyday Moment

Episode 10: How to Shift Your Mindset in Everyday Moments
🎧 Empowered with Immigrant Parents Podcast with Allison Ly

Gotta show up even when its not perfect! Apologies for the grid lines

Feeling stuck doing something you really don’t want to do for yourself or for your parents?
Maybe you are running an annoying errand or have to help your parents with something you don't really want to do.

In this episode, Allison Ly shares how even in those moments, you still have a choice.

She walks through a real-life story (complete with boba, sunshine, and boundaries!) to show how small shifts in your mindset and preparation can completely change how you experience a frustrating day.

This episode is perfect for adults with immigrant parents who feel like they’re always “on,” always giving, and rarely taking time to center their own needs.

Learn how to:
 ✔ Reframe negative thoughts
 ✔ Set small, realistic boundaries with yourself
 ✔ Use thought work to feel more grounded
 ✔ Make space for yourself—even during life’s errands and responsibilities

You don’t have to wait for life to slow down; you can choose how you show up, even in the chaos.

👇 If this resonated with you, hit subscribe, share with a friend, and let me know in the comments: What’s one small choice you can make today to care for yourself?

____

If you’re wanting more support on this, work with me:
Let’s do some 1:1 coaching:
https://unshakengen.thrivecart.com/1coaching/

Get on the waitlist for Unshaken Confidence, a program designed to help adults with immigrant parents live more of their lives in the way they want, WHILE also caring for those they love.
https://www.heyallisonly.com/course

Episode Timeline:
00:00 The Power of Choice
00:25 Welcome to Empowered with Immigrant Parents
00:36 A Personal Story
01:48 Making the Most of Your Time
03:25 The Importance of Mindset and Preparation
04:55 Practical Tips for Self-Care and Flexibility
07:37 Empower Yourself with Choices
08:46 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/10
____

Free Resources:
Sign up to get actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents, in my email community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

Episode 09: 3 Ways to Take Up Space Without Guilt: 3 Thoughts to Challenge

In Part 2 of our conversation about taking up space, we’re diving into the real thoughts that hold adults with immigrant parents back — and how to challenge them so you can live more fully and authentically.

If you've ever found yourself thinking:

- “I should be grateful and not ask for more.”
- “I'm asking for too much.”
- “What will people think if I speak up?”

...then this episode is for you.

We’ll break down how you can start taking up space in small ways that will feel good to you — without guilt, fear, or overwhelm. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why gratitude and ambition can coexist
- How to reframe "asking for too much"
- Why you don’t have to guess what others are thinking
- Practical ways to practice taking up space — starting small
- How knowing your values helps you advocate for yourself

Taking up space isn’t about abandoning your family or your culture — it’s about showing up for you and caring for others without losing yourself.
If you’re ready to stop feeling burnt out and start living more aligned with who you truly are, listen in. 💛

Episodes Mentioned:
Part 1 of 3. The Repay Cycle™ in Immigrant Families. Ever Feel Guilty No Matter What You Do? This Might Be Why
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYxHiBoa3xU

Part 1 of 2 on Taking Up Space. It’s Not Your Fault: Why It’s Hard for Adults with Immigrant Parents to Take Up Space
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66uqkLMYHYw 

If you’re wanting more support on this, work with me:

- Let’s do some 1:1 coaching: https://unshakengen.thrivecart.com/1coaching/ 

- Get on the waitlist for Unshaken Confidence: https://www.heyallisonly.com/course 
A program designed to help adults with immigrant parents live more of their lives in the way they want, WHILE also caring for those they love.  

Episode 08: Why Adults with Immigrant Parents Struggle to Take Up Space 

Ever find it hard to take up space — to speak up, ask for what you need, or even just exist fully in a room? You’re not alone. 

In this episode, Allison Ly breaks down why it can feel especially challenging for adults with immigrant parents to take up space, whether that’s emotionally, mentally, or physically.

Allison walks through some of the biggest reasons adults with immigrant parents, like you, face that complicate self-expression, and the impact of not seeing yourself represented growing up. She also shares how survival mode can keep you from even thinking about taking up more space — and why none of this is your fault.

Get a powerful reflection prompt to help you notice what’s getting in the way of you taking up space.
Tune in to understand these complexities and learn how to begin advocating for yourself.

If you’re wanting more support on this, work with me:
Let’s do some 1:1 coaching: 
https://unshakengen.thrivecart.com/1coaching/ 

Get on the waitlist for Unshaken Confidence, a program designed to help adults with immigrant parents live more of their lives in the way they want, WHILE also caring for those they love. 
https://www.heyallisonly.com/course 

Episode Timeline:
00:00 Do You Take Up Space?
00:14 Why It's Hard for Adults with Immigrant Parents to Take Up Space
01:47 Cultural and Language Barriers
04:44 Media Representation and Its Impact
07:01 External Factors Impacting Ability to Take Up Space
10:21 Question for You 

Get the visual mentioned and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/8
____

Sign up to get actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents, in my free email community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk (Free Training): https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start

What Lending a Sweater Can Teach You About Boundaries

Episode 7: The Truth About Boundaries: What No One Tells You

Many of us overlook these facts about setting boundaries - and this is detrimental to your relationships. It affects your relationship with yourself and with others. 

Tune in as Allison Ly dives into some myths and facts about boundaries so that you can shift your mindset about boundaries, and start to use them more effectively and with less guilt. 

Listen in on why boundaries are not one-size-fits-all and why they don’t need to be rigid to be effective. Especially as adults with immigrant parents, boundary-setting can bring up discomfort, fear of being misunderstood, and the pressure to keep the peace. But here's the truth: boundaries are necessary, and they change all the time - making this a lifelong skill you’ll always improve upon.

You’ll hear how boundaries show up in everyday moments - yes, even in lending out a sweater!. And what lessons lending a sweater can teach us about how to think about boundaries. 

If you haven’t been able to set boundaries or even think about HOW to set boundaries because you’re feeling stuck between your needs and your family’s expectations, this episode will help you shift your mindset, get curious (not judgmental), and start practicing boundaries with more confidence, compassion, and clarity.

🎧 Tune in to learn:
- What a boundary really is (it’s more than just saying no)
- How to communicate them when you’re not used to doing it
- Why discomfort isn’t a sign to stop—it’s necessary
- The role boundaries play in protecting your energy, peace, and relationships

And if you’re wanting more support on this so that you can start to enjoy more of your relationships with less overthinking and less guilt, check out ways to work with me:

- Let’s do some 1:1 coaching: https://unshakengen.thrivecart.com/1coaching/ 
- Get on the waitlist for Unshaken Confidence, a program designed to help adults with immigrant parents live more of their lives in the way they want, WHILE also caring for those they love. 
https://www.heyallisonly.com/course 

Episode Timeline:
00:00 Why talk about Boundaries
00:59 Defining Boundaries
03:30 Misconceptions About Boundaries
04:20 Why It’s So Complicated
06:40 Adapting Boundaries Over Time
07:04 Examples of How to Set Boundaries
12:06 The Most Important Piece
15:05 What Now?

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/7
____
Free Resources:

Sign up for Adults with Immigrant Parents Email Community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource

Quick tools to beat burnout! How to Protect Your Energy When You’re Always the One Helping 

Episode 6: Exhausted from Caring Too Much? Fix Burnout with These Tips (The Repay Cycle™ Part 3 of 3)

If you’re constantly helping others—especially your immigrant parents—but feel burnt out, overwhelmed, or feel like cutting ties is the only way for you to get some peace, this episode is for you. 

Learn to alleviate emotional fatigue, prioritize self-care, and set effective boundaries without cutting ties with your loved ones.

In Part 3, the final part of The Repay Cycle™ series, Allison Ly shares simple yet powerful ways to protect your energy without giving up your values or your relationships. 

Learn how to make mindful choices, reduce resentment, and create space to care for yourself too. Listen as Allison shares  practical steps to recognizing your values, prioritizing urgent tasks, and incorporating enjoyable activities to reduce stress.

What You’ll Learn:
- A practical tool to track your emotional and energy levels
- How to decide what’s urgent vs. important in family requests
- Ways to align your actions with your values so you feel less guilt
- Small shifts that make a big difference in how you show up for yourself and others
- The foundation for setting boundaries without feeling selfish

Resources Mentioned:
 📄 Download visuals & PDFs: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast
 💻 Learn about 1:1 coaching & Unshaken Confidence: https://heyallisonly.com
Subscribe & Follow to stay updated with each new episode!

Episode Timeline:
00:00 What to do when in The Repay Cycle™
01:38 Understanding Your Energy Levels
05:02 Reflecting on Your Values
08:07 Prioritizing and Setting Boundaries
13:59 Practical Tips for Self-Care
15:21 Why This is Important For You

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/6
____
Free Resources:
The Repay Cycle Summary and PDF: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/repay

Sign up for Adults with Immigrant Parents Email Community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource

Why It’s So Hard to Say "No" as Adults with Immigrant Parents

Episode 5: Your Values or Your Family's? The Repay Cycle™ Part 2 of 3

Are you constantly giving, helping, and sacrificing—yet still feel guilty or that you're not doing enough? You’re not alone. In this episode, we go deeper into the Repay Cycle™ and explore why these emotional patterns run so deep for adults with immigrant parents.

We talk about:
- The impact of parentification (when you were the “responsible one” way too early)
- What happens when we don’t understand why we keep saying yes
- The pressure of navigating two cultures and conflicting expectations
- How to identify your own values—separate from what you were told to want

Plus, I’ll walk you through a visual tool to help you figure out what you truly want vs. what your family expects from you. If you’ve ever felt torn, overwhelmed, or stuck in a loop of obligation, this is for you.

📥 Want the visual? 
Grab the visual here → https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/values

🎧 Listen now and take one step closer to clarity, confidence, and self-trust.

Episode Timeline:
00:00 Recap of The Repay Cycle™ (Part 1)
01:14 Understanding The Repay Cycle™
02:00 What’s Parentification Got to Do with It?
03:37 Balancing Cultural Expectations
06:52 Identifying Personal Values
09:54 Resource for you

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/5
____
Free Resources:
The Repay Cycle Summary and PDF: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/repay

Sign up for Adults with Immigrant Parents Email Community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource

Episode 4 - Ever Feel Guilty No Matter What You Do? This Might Be Why

How Guilt & Sacrifice Keep You Stuck: The Repay Cycle™

If you're an adult with immigrant parents and feel caught between two worlds, interactions and expectations, leading you to feel a lot of guilt —you're not alone. 

In this episode, I break down The Repay Cycle™, a framework I created from my 10+ years working with adults with immigrant parents, and individuals with immigrant background. This is a cycle so many adults with immigrant parents, myself included, fall into without realizing it.

We explore how the cycle starts, how we are so driven to repay our parents in big and small ways, and its impact on us and how we show up in our relationships. 

Learn what The Repay Cycle™ might looks like in your daily life and why it’s so important to recognize it. This is part one of a three-part series that will help you break the cycle and care for your family without losing yourself.

Next episode we will talk more about what to do, now that you’re aware of The Repay Cycle™.
Subscribe so you get the new episode sent directly to you!

📥 Want the visual? Grab the recap and more of the Repay Cycle in a PDF here → heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/repay

Episode Timeline: 
00:00 Intro of The Repay Cycle™
01:13 Why The Repay Cycle™ is Important 
02:43 Phase 1
05:42 Phase 2
08:17 Phase 3
09:54 Phase 4
15:17 Breaking the Cycle
16:40 What to Do About The Repay Cycle™ in next episode

Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/4
___

Free Resources:
The Repay Cycle Summary and PDF:
heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/repay

Sign up for Adults with Immigrant Parents Email Community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: 
https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource

Episode 4 - Ever Feel Guilty No Matter What You Do? This Might Be Why

How Guilt & Sacrifice Keep You Stuck: The Repay Cycle™

If you're an adult with immigrant parents and feel caught between two worlds, interactions and expectations, leading you to feel a lot of guilt —you're not alone.

In this episode, I break down The Repay Cycle™, a framework I created from my 10+ years working with adults with immigrant parents, and individuals with immigrant background. 

This is a cycle so many adults with immigrant parents, myself included, fall into without realizing it.

We explore how the cycle starts, how we are so driven to repay our parents in big and small ways, and its impact on us and how we show up in our relationships. 

Learn what The Repay Cycle™ might looks like in your daily life and why it’s so important to recognize it. This is part one of a three-part series that will help you break the cycle and care for your family without losing yourself.Next episode we will talk more about what to do, now that you’re aware of The Repay Cycle™.

Subscribe so you get the new episode sent directly to you!

📥 Want the visual? Grab the free PDF of the Repay Cycle here → [Insert Link]

Episode Timeline:00:00 Introduction and Overview01:13 Why The Repay Cycle™ is Important 02:43 Phase 105:42 Phase 208:17 Phase 309:54 Phase 415:17 Breaking the Cycle16:40 What to Do About The Repay Cycle™ in next episode
Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/4___
Free Resources:Sign up for Adults with Immigrant Parents Email Community: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/email
3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start
Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource

Episode 2 - Navigating Two Worlds with Immigrant Parents | What to Expect | Intro

Welcome to Empowered with Immigrant Parents Podcast!

I’m so excited to introduce you to the heart behind this podcast: a place where adults with immigrant parents can feel seen, supported, and empowered.

We’ll talk about what inspired this show, who it’s for, what you can expect moving forward and I’ll leave you with five powerful affirmations to carry with you as we begin this journey together.

If you’ve ever felt stuck balancing your own dreams while caring for your family, this space is for you. You're not alone and you're not wrong for feeling the way you do. 🫶

Episode Timeline:
00:00 – Introduction: Why I created this podcast
01:45 – Why This Podcast Exists: The conversations we didn't grow up having
04:15 – Who This Podcast Is For: Adults with immigrant parents feeling stuck, guilty, or burnt out
06:30 – What You Can Expect: Topics we'll dive into (boundaries, perfectionism, imposter syndrome & more)
08:00 – About Me: My Chinese Vietnamese background and personal story
10:15 – Important Disclaimer: This podcast is informational, not therapy
11:00 – First Pep Talk: The Five Most Important Affirmations to Remember
13:00 – Next Episode: Why These 5 Affirmations 

Shownotes and more at: heyallisonly.com/podcast/2

---

Follow Allison on Instagram: instagram.com/heyallisonly

Sign up for Adults with Immigrant Parents Email Community

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones
Allison's Website: heyallisonly.com

Subscribe to embark on this empowering journey together!

00. Trailer 

Are you juggling the weight of caring for your immigrant parents while also living out your dreams? Are you finding yourself stuck in negative self-talk, guilt, fear, burn out or resentment?
If so, you're not alone. I get it.
I've been there.
But here’s the thing: you don’t have to choose between your goals, ambitions and caring for your loved ones. This podcast is your guide to empower yourself to thrive in both worlds - so that you can take care of yourself AND your loved ones in ways that work for you.
The pressure to be the best version of yourself, to give your family everything they need, and to chase your own dreams… it’s real. But you don’t have to do it alone.
I’m Allison Ly— a fellow adult child of immigrant parents here as your coach and host. I have a background in mental health therapy and have worked with adults with immigrant parents, or individuals with immigrant backgrounds for 10+ years.  
In this podcast, I’m going to give you practical tips, relatable stories, and the tools to navigate the unique challenges of being an adult with immigrant parents. 
You’ll learn how to show up for yourself, your career, and your relationships in ways that feel authentic, without feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process.
Let's leave the negative self talk, the self-doubt and self-sacrifice patterns behind so that you can start to unlock your fullest potential.
If you’re ready to feel even more empowered, confident, and show up as the best version of yourself - while still giving back to those you love hit subscribe to start to unlock your fullest potential.