Encourage the Good

It turns out I am much better at accepting other peoples shortcomings than my own. 

It is not easy for me to accept underachievement, limitations and circumstances I cannot control. I prefer things I can change, and timelines and plans I feel I can manage. Of course this sense of control is mostly illusory at the best of times. There are always some things I can influence the outcome of and many more things that I cannot. One of the big challenges always is working out which is which.

Faced with frustrations and adverse circumstances many will offer answers and consolations that prove empty. We need to locate ourselves in a timeline that has tangible hope for the future and a mandate for what to do in the meantime.

Shards

On wooden bench
The glass lies ready
Soon stained and fixed
Hot work and heavy
Leaded and cemented
Finally raised in place
Illuminating space

On sandy beach
More glass is ready 
Ground down by time
Cool work and light
Tumbled and salted
Precious but hidden
Waiting the artist’s hand

 And resurrection

People talk about an emotional roller coaster but some days it feels more like going up and down and round and round with not much forward momentum.

Sometimes I compound my own heartache through inflating my expectations. I realise that being more of an optimist leaves me more susceptible to disappointment.

Patience may well be a virtue but today I am feeling more frustrated than virtuous.

Yet even through my frustration I know that hope, like love, always carries risk and the price is worth paying. it is better to hope and experience disappointment, better to love and know hurt. If we try to avoid the negative consequences by sacrificing these precious things on the alter of self protection our lives will be much emptier. 

The safer option is not the better bet.

It is a common misconception that dedication will increase commitment and greater time will result in higher productivity. In fact if we value outcomes more than outputs we will understand that high commitment, long hours and limited focus will more likely be a route to fatigue, frustration, conflicted families, divided teams and burnout. 

I firmly believe that the way a nation, company or organisation treat the lowest level of worker says much more about their vision and values than the way they treat the higher echelons. In any HR decision in leadership I have always considered how change will help those who are worse off than me. I am saddened by the social, economic and racial  inequalities that continue to grow in each of my home nations.

Some of my heroes are business people who have gone out of their way to improve the lives of their workers.

This is part of my challenge in reading and understanding the Bible. I am a westerner looking through an urban lens at a book that mostly comes from an agrarian society. 

Remote places have mattered to God and been part of his plan from the beginning. There are no boonies in the sovereign purposes and love of God. Urban and rural, city and village, nation states, provinces and unceded lands are all included. 

Sometimes we forget that Jesus was born in an unfashionable area in a little regarded province. What started in the wop-wops  of the Roman Empire spread from Jerusalem, to Judea and Samaria and the ends of the earth, including the places we today know as Scotland, Canada and New Zealand and many points in between.

The highlight of today was being part of an online reunion for those who started the Relay Program in the UK 20 years ago.

The virtual reunion today was incredibly moving.  It was fabulous seeing 40 plus faces on screen and listening to their stories. Just in this group we had 12 nations represented as people joined from 5 continents. We heard examples of church leadership, sustainable development, mission, business, education and entrepreneurship. These stories were inspirational in the extent of their impact and in the honesty of their struggles.

Together they testify to the grace of God, the influence of a gospel lived and shared, the blessing of friends and family and perseverance born of hope.

At it’s birth Relay looked like it might be a moment but it has turned out to be a movement.

When we started Relay I had no idea what I was really doing. It was not an organised program with a set curriculum. Relay was shaped by a few key ideas and adapted as we went along. I have a page from an old Filofax where five of these ideas are scribbled.

Feeling that we have nothing left to give puts us in a vulnerable position. It is tempting to respond to the aftermath of intensity with escapism, addiction, indulgence, self pity or anger. 

I am thankful for the reminder that my perspective is skewed by many factors and that the way I see things can be warped and distorted. We need restoration, rest and reset. 

This may be obvious to us when things have been tough but it is also to be expected after times of growth and encouragement. After our greatest highs we are often at our most vulnerable. This can be true not only of the most significant events in our lives but in the rhythms of our year, month and week. We need to take care of ourselves and watch out for each other.

Leadership is about service not self importance, sacrifice not self actualisation and it is exercised through love not power.

Each of us has a part to play, no part is more important than another. It is not better to be a President than a director, more significant to pastor a large church or a small one, more strategic to be running programs or cooking meals at camp.

I like watching individual competitors in athletics and tennis but overall I prefer team sports. There is something about a team that works well where the whole becomes more than the sum of the individual parts. One of the challenges of leading a team is working out what contribution each member can make.

My preference for team extends to superheroes as well as sports. So I favour The Avengers, The Justice League and The Fantastic Four over the dysfunctional individual even if some of them do recruit lesser associates as companions or helpers. A sidekick is not the same as a team.

There are times in the last three years when I have been afraid and when I have been discouraged. Much of that has been connected with facing opposition, with adapting to a new culture and a new organisation, experiencing loneliness, dealing with the frustration of deficits and making difficult decisions. 

Just as it looked like there might be light at the end of the tunnel it turned out to be the covid train. We were unexpectedly forced into a new reality of restrictions and limitations.

Some words from Joshua at Davidson’s Mains turned out to be more significant than we knew at the time.

As yesterday went on I found myself becoming increasingly less positive. It involved me in having to apologise for being a bit grumpy and difficult. We don’t get much post so it was nice when Ailsa brought a card back from the mailbox. It was from Ben Carswell with a picture of Otago on the front. He said he was was mostly writing to cheer me up or cheer me on, it was hard to tell from his hand writing I am not sure when it was posted but it arrived at a good time to fulfil his intention.

It got me thinking about transition and succession. I am really thankful to have such good relationships with the two people I have handed on significant responsibility to. Andy Shudall with Relay and Ben with TSCF.  It reminded me of some ideas that I scribbled on the back of an envelope in April 2019.

It was titled “Lessons Leaving New Zealand”. I decided not to share it at the time in case it sounded like I thought I knew what I was doing in the middle of coming and going. It is a bit of a quick and dirty dozen.

It was one of the most liked Counting my Blessings posts.