SHOW NOTES:

On this show….we are giving it all, 100%, our best, every time, always! Sounds ambitious huh - but I’m going to let you in a little secret early on to set the tone for the show. All you can give is what you have and nothing more. Now if you let that sink in a while….or let’s say over the course of this show, you will see that is enough, and the knowledge of this fact is the ultimate freedom. Now I know some of you overachievers out there are thinking what happened to the 10%, you know the 10% more - giving 110%. Well, let me clear that up for you. There is no 10%. ALL of it is exactly that, ALL - everything, and nothing more. I appreciate your tenacity and never want you to lose the drive but let’s just concentrate on the totality of this concept.

I really don’t mean to make light of the fact that giving 100% every time to everything you do seems exhausting and actually unrealistic. Even someone as motivated and enthusiastic as I am can see that seems far-fetched. If you are thinking the same thing then you have a couple of choices. Some of us see things through and all or nothing lens. Hot or cold, on or off, black or white. With this kind of approach, it’s easy to think of this concept and immediately be ready to through in the towel the minute something happens. “Welp I blew it today so nevermind, I’ll try again tomorrow - I give up”. If this sounds like you then you can see where getting to the point of 100% consistency in your efforts, may seem like a mirage. 

Before you hit that point, let me let you off the hook and share a revelation I found through a book by Don Miguel Ruiz - you might have heard me mention him a time or two. He wrote a book called The Four Agreements which has really shaped some new thinking for me. 

The Four Agreements are:

Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Don't Take Anything Personally.

Don't Make Assumptions.

Always Do Your Best.

One of the agreements is: Always Do Your Best. I want to share this new perception with you and then we will dig into some of the details on this concept. 

Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. When you wake up refreshed and energized in the morning, your best will be better than when you are tired at night. Your best will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick; it will depend on whether you are feeling wonderful and happy, or angry and upset.

BAM! There you go - all you are responsible for is your best. Nothing more. On the days you are struggling and only have 20% in the tank, give it all because 100% of 20% is  - you got it, 20%. 

No longer do you have to throw in the towel on your less-than-stellar days. You still have an opportunity to give 100% and feel the satisfaction of doing your best. 

For so long we’ve been focused on the glass have empty or half full. How do you see it are you an optimist or a pessimist. At this point, you’re almost afraid to answer. But no matter how much is in the glass all you have to do is pour it out. ALL of it, give it all because that’s what you have to give today and that’s enough.

You might wrestle with this newfound enlightenment, maybe even push back thinking how I can do my best when I can’t be the best. Maybe 100% of the 20 you have to give is not enough. You need to be perfect, all or nothing.  

Dr. Ilene Strauss Cohen helps us understand this challenge in an article she wrote for psycologytoday.com: How to Let Go of the Need to Be Perfect

Change your mindset.

Build self-reliance.

Learn to let go.

Make your own decisions.

Remember, you can’t hate your way into accepting yourself.

Make peace with the “now” before you feel satisfied with the “later.” 

….oh if it were just that easy but listen to the show, we go into a lot of detail!

That’s just it, b

SHOW NOTES:

On this show...we are giving ourselves a break! Not what usually comes to mind when you hear the word “judgment” but enough already. Why so harsh?? Don’t you deserve the benefit of the doubt, a second chance, maybe a third or fourth - FREEDOM for goodness sake? If you are tuning in because this show might have some political mudslinging or sensitive and controversial topics to weigh in on then sorry to disappoint, Encouragementology covers positive alternatives to life’s LITTLE challenges in a lighthearted and all-inclusive kind of way.  Stay with me, I promise to give you a new perspective or at least some encouragement to get over the hump. 

So when did you become your harshest critic? You might not even realize that you are just that, harsh or your own critic. Things we feel or say about ourselves in the privacy of our own minds are just that,  private and no one knows but unless we wear these judgments we’ve given ourselves. We walk into a room with them, we introduce them to potential friends or business associates, we expose them through our words and our actions. 

Sometimes I feel like two different people with distinct personalities and purposes. Each with their own set of strengths and weaknesses. I like elements of them both and at times wish they could merge and be on the same page. Before you reach out for professional help for me, let me explain. Professionally I’m strong, assertive, confident, direct, and sometimes even stubborn. Probably really stubborn but I’m intentionally giving myself a break here. People who met me professionally would echo these traits even calling me persistent, tenacious, strategic, and futuristic in my thinking. Personally, however, I don’t always feel these strengths. Oh, I can talk for sure, I am direct and I do have plenty of opinions. But I’m not as confident in what I’m saying or doing. There are times when I need validation and as much as that’s hard to admit, it’s true. I seek approval and without it, I am left wanting and a little lost. This is partly because I’m a classic people pleaser which is not a simple thing to correct. My knee-jerk will always be to please and seek approval. Since I’m now fully aware of this behavior I can sometimes correct it on my own. Progress. Also, Matt is very understanding and gently helps me see reality when I’m spinning. 

I used to judge this aspect of myself pretty harshly, making light of it. Through this journey and this walk, I’m learning it’s ok to not have everything figured out, not to be perfect in all areas of your life, and to let people see your vulnerable side when you need understanding. 

Hanna Brooks Olsen kicks off our exploration with The Spotlight Effect: Why You’re Your Own Worst Critic in an article she wrote for creativelive.com

“You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do,” wrote David Foster Wallace in his 1996 tome, Infinite Jest. Three years later, a pair of psychologists would give that same sentiment a name: the spotlight effect.

A big part, then, of shame resilience – and of getting out of our own way, creatively – is the understanding that everyone is suffering from the same spotlight effect, and that everyone needs to be treated kindly – ourselves included.

Oh if we could just believe that every time. But our first reaction or maybe it’s just me (doubt it) is to say “oh know, what did I do now”. Immediately I put myself at fault no matter what it is. I start searching my mind and replaying scenarios believing I can piece together what the other person must be thinking about me. 

Have you ever hear of Don Miguel Ruiz and his Four Agreements? 

The Four Agreements are:

Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Don't Take Anything Personally.

Don't Make Assumptions.

Always Do Your Best.

But the one I want to highlight here is, don’t take anything personally.

Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because

SHOW NOTES: 

On this show...we are celebrating a lifelong love of learning. Ok, maybe you’re not ready for a celebration just yet I mean life lessons can seem cruel but we are going to spend some time walking through the process stopping to appreciate the little gifts - revelations and enlightenment. Can we all laugh at the fact you can be told something a thousand times in different ways but until you come to a level of understanding on your own, you just won’t buy it. Some may say hard-headed but that’s the beauty of life and all it has to teach us. Not all lessons are painful and with a natural curiosity, this pursuit for knowledge about yourself and the world around you can be the fun part of the journey.

If you would have used words like “lifelong learning” too little Kendall she would have thought you were crazy. What do you mean learning for a lifetime? Are you ever done? Won’t I ever be smart enough? What’s the point?

As with many things, we’ve been conditioned to look for the destination to completion of the race, to file the paperwork, etc. To grasp this concept that you are never quite complete is a hard pill to swallow. Unless you look at it as a gift. I am never complete, I get to keep trying again and again. The more I learn the more I grow, the more I grow the more I learn. How wonderful. I’m on a lifelong journey pursuing knowledge and wisdom through experiences and my connections. Isn’t that a better way to view the glass?

Why You Should Never Stop Learning from heragenda.com

Broadening horizons

Keeping your mind sharp

Giving back

Confidence boost

Find something new

Throughout your journey, you will wear different hats and play different roles in regard to your education. Sometimes you’ll be the teacher, sometimes the student, other times the curriculum designer, and maybe even the proctor of your own life challenges.

What have you learned that was an ah-ha moment for you? Have you heard yourself echoing the same things your parents tried so hard to drill into your head earlier rather than later? 

Sometimes it’s the most basic of concepts. Have you heard of the book: All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum? Be prepared for mind-blown and the revelation that you may have not been paying attention to.

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

This whole concept reminds me that the many hours I spent watching some incredibly ridiculous reality tv was a huge waste of time and mind space. The fodder that I allowed to be filtered through my precious mind is almost criminal. I’m now at that precious place in my life where I want more and more and more. More ideas, perspectives, concepts, experiences...ALL of it, and more of it. I’ve been obsessed with reading about exploration and significant historical events. No longer am I interested in purely entertainment - I want to learn!

I found a delightful article full of learning from Quincy Seale; 8 Life Lessons From Benjamin Franklin

Winners Wake Up Early

Clear Your Head

Make A Plan

Never Stop Learning

Routine is a Good Thing

Take It Easy

Make Time For Family, Friends, and Fun

Take Time to Reflect

There is so much to be learned along the way. Everyone wants to blaze their own trail but why not pick up some tools from the ones that went before you. Imagine the enlightenment that Benjamin Franklin had and was able to pass down through all of his work. What are you learning that you can pass on? 

Linda Darby shares some of life’s truths with us on, Have the Talk of a Lifetime. Talkofalifetime.com

Here are just a few…

Attitude

Don’t let your age defin

SHOW NOTES: (from the podcast Encouragementology)

On this show...we’re owning it; the good, bad, and yes the ugly! After all, it’s your journey. Sure some played a role, maybe even a vital role, but in the end, the choices you made and the direction you took were all you. Even if you chose to follow instead of lead, your choice. You might think this show is going to be full of tired old journey cliches like; it’s “Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” or “Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” and even still; “Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.” and a million more. As nauseating as they can be at times, they are right. You’re on it my friend, whether you embrace the challenges, celebrate the successes, or just go along for the ride. You set out on your journey the day you were born and well….we all know how it ends but what you do in the meantime can give you a lifetime of love, learning, and joy. 

I think responsibility is an important attribute to have in life. Personally and professionally. It’s wonderful to have responsibility for things, people, and concepts but also to demonstrate responsibility in your actions and throughs. Owning your responsibility for choices and actions means confessing the reality of the situation to yourself and even to others. I see claiming it as the actional profession and owning it is making space for the learning in your character makeup. “I did it, it’s mine, and here is how it’s impacted my life and changed my behavior”. 

Accepting responsibility doesn’t include, “yeah but…” Yeah but can be that little degree of justification that can temporarily relieve you of the guilt, shame, but also the most important part, the learning.  “Well I did it, yeah but he also did it too or she told me it was ok or they wronged me and I had no choice.” 

All of that may have influenced your choice but that’s not the exercise here. Owning your responsibility is. 

Steve Rose, PhD, is an addiction counselor who gives us his insight on Why Responsibility is so Important in our life.  On his website, stevenrosephd.com

I’ve been challenged with these questions in my own practice - what if the trauma you suffered was out of your control - how are you supposed to take responsibility? 

Steven says, if you’ve experienced trauma leading to mental health issues, you are not responsible for the problem, but you are responsible for being part of the solution.

The same goes for a heredity illness. You are not responsible for the problem, but you are responsible for being part of the solution. Falling into a victim mindset only serves to strengthen the problem.

So why is responsibility important?

Responsibility is important because it provides a sense of purpose, in addition to building resilience amidst adversity on an individual and societal level.

Like an addiction, sidestepping responsibility may feel good in the short-term, but leads to exponentially worse pain and suffering in the long term.

See, your journey involves more than just choosing a path, forging forward tripping over flora and fauna, nursing your wounds, and praying for the end to come. You have a responsibility to yourself, to your family, and to all beings. When your parents nurtured you and encouraged you to walk celebrating your curiosity for life their wish was for you to be a kind and responsible human being. Between the lines was the thought that would contribute in some great way not that you would simply avoid conflict and make it unscathed. 

So no matter where you currently are on your journey, no matter how prepared or ill-prepared you’ve been, no matter how lost and off-track your course may seem, you can turn it around. You can own your journey starting today. 

Jill Huettich gives us The Road Map to You: Find the Best Version of Yourself in an article she wrote for wealthfit.  I love her i

SHOW NOTES:

On this show...we’re talking about LOVE! Not blinded by, crazy in, or even unconditional without boundaries. We’re exploring healthy, inspiring, and encouraging love. It’s not just about how you love but how you accept love. Do you demonstrate the type of love you’re looking for? What about control in the name of love…..yep that’s a real thing too. Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Sounds like an emotion that you feel, it’s yours. What about love as a verb:  to like or desire (something) very much: to take great pleasure in.  Wreckless love that is driven by expectations without boundaries can be dangerous love. Let’s explore loving with a gentle touch.

I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and consider love from many angles during my lifetime. I think the way we view love evolves as we grow and our needs and desires change and morph. 

Let’s explore the different types of love, hopefully hitting on one you cherish and a few you need to re-evaluate. After all, we are sharing, learning, and growing. 

Love stretches wide and deep to encompass the passionate affair you experience as your first love, the heart-pounding love you feel when you see your child for the first time, and the gentle love you feel for your parents as they grow older. A common thread throughout each of these types of love is care and consideration for someone. Ultimately, that care and consideration are best expressed through the word "compassion."

Corrina Horne shares her thoughts about compassion in an article she wrote for betterhelp.com: What Is Compassionate Love?

Compassion is a concern for the welfare and well-being of others. Compassion does not necessarily require a focused love to exist but is often thought of as a form of love in and of itself: a love for humankind as a whole. Compassion is argued to be the bedrock for kindness and selflessness, as compassion focuses attention outward rather than inward, and is an example of both empathy (putting yourself in someone else’s shoes) and sympathy (feeling sad, sorry, or distressed on someone's behalf without necessarily putting yourself in their situation).

It could be argued that all love is compassionate love. Indeed, some would argue that love is not loving at all unless it is coupled with compassion. On the other hand, affection and attachment without compassion are far more akin to infatuation or obsession than love. While it is not entirely true that love cannot be felt without also feeling compassion, love is best and most effectively put into practice when compassion is present.

Tune in for more…

I made a change almost eight years ago. Oh, you’re always changing as you grow some of which is automatic and unnoticeable but this was a dramatic shift that I orchestrated. It was time for a change and I was ready to change. For me, it was a crossroads of sorts that inspired my need for more. I had spent too much emotional, physical, and financial resources trying to control others. At the beginning of this journey, I was convinced that with more effort and energy things would work out just as I intended. It was clear to me that I had the solution to happiness if everyone would just follow my lead. Of course, in my mind, this was all about love. I loved these people and wanted the best for them…..or so I thought. So I kept pushing and pulling, demanding and bargaining but no matter what I did, they did what they wanted. Most of which was not in my magic plan for success. So I was frustrated and hard on myself thinking I should be doing more. What was I missing here? Why wouldn’t these people want to be happy? Didn’t they love me enough to change? 

It’s amazing how you can believe that and without a shadow of a doubt, insist that you’re right. 

Not really sure what the final straw was 8 years ago. I believe it was a convergence of ideas and experiences that finally released the pickle jar lid - but I got it. No one is going to change to meet my expectations. Y

SHOW NOTES:

On this show….we aren’t relying on rubbing the lamp, three wishes, or even luck to change your lives - we are taking control by changing our mindset and changing our direction. Too many times we’ve left it up to chance, waiting for a rainy day, or a “sign” that never comes. So we wait. All the while ignoring our power to activate real action in our lives. Forge forward with a renewed mind and the motivation we need to propel us forward. The mind is a terrible thing to waste so let’s tap in and see where it takes us.

How many times do you say, “when I win the lottery I’m going to do X, Y ,Z?” Now just for fun, how many of you actually play the lottery? Why do we put things we would love to do into this futuristic bubble that we’re never going to pop? Sometimes it’s fun fantasizing about what life could look like. Remember when you were young and you played those games; where you were going to live, what kind of house you would have, what kind of car you would drive, who you would marry, and how many kids you would have. How about the magic 8-ball; yes, no, maybe, outlook not good, signs point to yes. 

At one point, early in life, you thought everything and anything was within your reach. Then you were told no - ‘no, no, no!” and you started to doubt yourself. Reality hit and you realized or believe that not everything was possible so those things became fantasies or pipe dreams. You put them in the bubble and thought of them less and less. You accepted that it wasn’t in the cards. 

What if you could change your mindset and revive some of those dreams? Ok, maybe you can’t go to the moon, sorry little astronaut, but you can seek adventure and curb your appetite for exploration. And that’s just the start!

Over at keepinspiring.me I found an article by Quincy Seale: 9 Signs It’s Time To Change Your Mindset

You are constantly focusing on what’s wrong 

You mourn your failures but forget to celebrate your victories

You don’t want to face the truth

You feel angry when your expectations are not met

You feel unsatisfied and unhappy with everything you have (or don’t have)

You find yourself regularly coming to blows with the people you care about

You think about what you “have to” do instead of what you “get to” do

You see yourself as a victim

You hold onto the dramas of other people

Encouragementology is the practice of instilling hope and this show is about finding positive alternatives to life’s challenges. An overarching theme in everything I do is finding and activating your power. 

Life can be harsh...if you let it. There is negativity at every turn. The perception is that we elevate and celebrate struggle more than success. Drama, fear, and tragedy are what sells so heart-warming and inspirational are left to the dodo on Instagram. Puppies from the street to a loving household and we weep. We long for a good feel-good story - it’s what our heart craves. Create your own heart-warming and inspirational story. Unplug from the negative, activate your power, propel your life forward, and then share your story with others.

7 Mindsets help us to Change Your Mindset to Achieve your Goals.

Accept that your thinking needs adjusting 

Identify your counter-mindsets

Flip the switch

Understand your “why” 

Realize that motivation and willpower are not enough

Start small so you can finish big 

Get comfortable with the “F” word 

Feeling down and unmotivated? How about take control and look for motivation. Instead of booking your pity-party table for one - realize there is inspiration, heartfelt messages, and plenty of go-get-it attitudes just waiting for you to consume. 

Make it a part of your everyday. Can’t conjure up a good attitude on your own? No worries, start your day with a devotional or a reminder to “let it go”. Create a Pinterest board with quotes and memes that say something to your soul. Explore an uplifting podcast (like this one, wink wink). Find a book on adventure, overcoming adversity, or th

SHOW NOTES:

On this show… we are embracing grief and all its varying shades. Not denying it, running from it, or refusing to face it but embracing it. What can grief teach and how can it help us heal? When to forgive yourself and others and how to accept life and all it has in store for you. The term, “grief is a part of life” might sound like a cliche but if you accept it as factual, then walking through it is the only course of action. Noticing the varying shades can help you accept loss for what it is and move to an understanding that tomorrow brings new hope and opportunity.

Does just hearing the word grief create a feeling of impending sadness? The general color of mourning is black so let’s start there. Grief is a noun, not a verb and the dictionary definition is very definite: deep sorrow, especially caused by someone's death. : deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement. Sorrow, angst, woe, regret. 

Grieving as a verb is an action of feeling grief for or because of death. Expressing great sorrow. 

There are many guides to overcoming grief and many of them include lots of helpful coping strategies but just remember, your grief is personal and unique to you. It won’t fit nicely into a predetermined box and it won’t follow a detailed timeline. Be kind and forgiving as you work your way through loss. 

Experience grief isn’t only connected to the loss of a loved one. Don’t question your grief or judge yourself based on the varying shades. Each time we lose something, time, an opportunity, a relationship, a loved one, and so many more. We feel loss. Maybe not all forms of loss are followed by deep sorrow, but they are represented within our varying shades and will still require your attention. 

With that said, I do fully believe in the Five Stages of Grief. Don’t think of these stages as a step-by-step, chronological guide. You may or may not experience any one or all of these stages once, in sequence. Or over and over in and out with varying degrees. 

I found a break down from Christina Gregory, Ph.D. on the Kubler-Ross Model:  The Five Stages of Grief at PSYCOM

We take a deeper dive into every stage…. It’s important to note that this list is no sequential and you may visit each stage more than once or not at all.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

My Father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2003. Without a cure, we knew the outlook was bleak but that didn’t stop us from staying positive, and as my Father used to say “just seeing what we’re dealing with”. It was a long decline with loss at every turn. When he lost the ability to effectively communicate, or the ability to drive or be left alone. When he lost the ability to be cared for at home and when he lost the ability to walk. Through dementia, he lost his memory and many of his faculties. Each phase brought on elements of grief and with each level of acceptance, there was more grief to embrace.  When he passed away last year there was a sense of relief mixed with extreme sadness. I was happy for his freedom and faced with the inevitable loss accumulated for years and years of loss. 

Kathryn Sandford’s story echos mine as she writes 7 Valuable Life Lessons The Pain of Grief Can Teach Us

Live Your Life to the Fullest As It Can Change In A Blink Of An Eye

Family and Friends -Your Precious Gifts  in Life

Healing Is A Process – don't rush it.

Use Your Power Of Choice - Choose to be hopeful.

Find Your Purpose In Life

Don't  Let Your Past Rule Your Life Now And  In The Future.

Don't Run Away From Life stay strong and embrace its unpredictability.

Life seems to be filled with lesson after lesson doesn’t it. As we walk through, run, crawl, and cower - life is teaching us lessons through joy and sorrow. At one point or another, you might be compelled to choose “head-in-the-sand” vs facing your challenges head-on. I mean, who hasn’t wanted to check out of a difficult situation or two. But feeling life is as big a part of living as be

SHOW NOTES:

On this show...we are weighing out our options, laying it all out in front of us because guess what, you have the power of choice. Choices, choices, choices! Everything you say and do is a choice. Most seem to come automatically without much or any thought at all and others require laboring and let’s be honest, taking a risk. The point is you possess the power and just knowing that is so empowering. What if you were more mindful of this revelation, would it change the way you attack your day? It starts before even your eyes pop open, you chose your schedule, and even if your alarm didn’t go off, you lucky devil, your body chose to wake up. Let’s follow this power throughout your day, the seasons of your life, and the future you’ve yet to tap into.

For the title of this show, I featured surviving or thriving, joy & happiness but the options are endless when it comes to the choices you have in front of you. My intention was to be that friendly reminder that where you are today, how you feel, and what you are facing is a choice. Now you may scoff and give me ample examples to the contrary but hear me out. You have the choice of how you interpret your circumstances and how you respond. You have a choice in how you overcome and if you repeat bad behavior. You have a choice of what you consume and what you regurgitate. Now at a high level, that’s pretty powerful. 

What are you facing today that has you in a quandary? Where do you feel helpless or hopeless? How are you going to change your circumstances? 

For me, throwing up my hands and quitting is not an option. That doesn’t mean I don’t give in on things that aren’t working but I never give up on my goals and dreams. I don’t give up on me. You might have to sit with some of these ideas to see the differences but even though they appear, ever so slight, they are huge. 

Giving up and giving in couldn’t be more opposite and has nothing to do with strength or ego. Knowing yourself, strengths and weaknesses, means you know when you need to head in a new direction with a new approach. It’s your choice.

Exploring your mind.com gives us some insight in an article they featured: Giving Up vs. Knowing When to Quit

...The brain’s inclination to always keep us in the same place, doing the same thing, with the same people, makes it difficult to leave our comfort zone. This almost obsessive attachment to what we know makes us say things like “I will stick it out a little longer” or “I’ll just wait a bit longer to see if things change”. 

We have trouble identifying when the costs far outweigh the benefits and when our own mind acts as our enemy, whispering “don’t give up, don’t give in” to us over and over. However, we need to assimilate something basic and essential into our brain: when we leave something behind that is harmful and making us unhappy, we aren’t giving up. We are SURVIVING. 

Finding our sweet spot is like finding our own balance, our psychological and emotional homeostasis. It’s all about knowing what is best for ourselves at all times. It is worth mentioning that this ability isn’t intuitive. It is objective self-learning acquired through experience, observation, and reflection on our own lives, learning from our successes and mistakes.

Finding the balance can help you with perspective and avoiding the highs and lows that come with the all-or-nothing approach. When there is only winning or losing then it’s much easier to throw in the towel. If you can uncover and collect elements of satisfaction then no matter what you’re doing - you’re satisfied. 

It’s your choice. 

Ready to tap into that power you possess? Abundance and happiness.com walks us through this process in their article: Your Power To Choose

...We've each been provided with a number of incredible and irrevocable gifts that are oftentimes overlooked and/or taken for granted.

One of the most incredible gifts provided to you, me, and everyone else on this planet, is our Power to Choose. What we c

SHOW NOTES:

On this show...we are breaking through our limited belief system, challenging what we’ve always known, to find the other half of the ham. Have you ever really thought about where your ideas and opinions come from? Maybe through experience, trials, and tribulations, but how many were planted, early in life, never to be challenged? So many times we adopt an idea as fact or tradition and never question “why”. Why am I still doing this and that and could there be a different, more productive, more joyful, or more successful way? Today we won’t accept: “well, that’s just the way it is, what I’ve always done” without some further exploration.

So the other half of the ham. I better explain this concept as a basis for our talk. I heard this “joke” if you will that hit me with more than just laughter. It opened my eyes to the pitfalls of just accepting something as fact because that’s what we were told, Lord knows when. This goes against my grain because I know for fact, that we are always changing. Not just the world, and all its improvements, but US - we are growing and changing daily so what might have been an idea or opinion that served us in the past, without challenge, we don’t know if it serves us now or in the future. 

So this little girl is in the kitchen with her mother preparing a ham for dinner. She notices that she cuts off the end of the ham and casts it aside. She asks, “Momma, why do you cut off half the ham?” and her mother says, that’s how my mother has always done it. Hmm, let’s call Grandma. So they call Grandma and ask her about cutting off half the ham and she says, “Well, that’s how my mother has always done it, let’s call Granny”. So they give Granny a ring and ask her about this process of cutting off half the ham before you cook it and Granny says…,” Well because that’s what size pan I had”.  After you have a good laugh think about that and then think about all the wasted ham because someone, down the line, didn’t question this belief

AMY MORIN gives us 3 Types of Self-Limiting Beliefs That Will Keep You Stuck in Life (and What to Do About Them) in an article she wrote for Inc.com

Unhealthy Beliefs About Yourself 

Unhealthy Beliefs About Others

Unhealthy Beliefs About the World

There are many different beliefs you have about yourself, other people, and the world around you. And while you're likely to think that all of your beliefs are 100 percent accurate, the truth is you likely hold onto at least a few core beliefs that are irrational and unproductive.

Unhealthy beliefs lead to unhealthy habits. And unhealthy habits produce negative outcomes that ultimately reinforce your unhealthy beliefs. It's a vicious cycle that can be tough to break.

 

It’s hard to acknowledge all the good in your life when you have challenge after challenge but in reality, isn’t that normal?  Even the people you feel “have it all” who seem to be gleaming with success have faced trial after trial. Nothing is easy and even if you are blessed with talent and good luck, you too will fail. It’s a part of life and learning and our journey would be a brisk uneventful walk without it. 

Amanda Alvernaz shares her insight on how These Limiting Beliefs Are Preventing You From Being Successful in a blog article she wrote for Trello.

Many of us are constantly striving to grow professionally and personally in our lives. Every new year we set aside some time to establish brand new objectives and things we want to achieve. We start the year off with admirable willpower but it’s not uncommon to arrive at a point when our motivation drops off and our plans lose their luster.

Psychologist, Robert M., describes in his research the importance and impact of beliefs in our lives. He says:

“Beliefs are like filters on a camera. What the camera ‘sees’ is a function of the filters through which it is viewing its subject. In other words, how we ‘see’ the world is a function of our beliefs and profoundly influences personality.

As a result

SHOW NOTES: (exerts and resources from the show)

On this show...we’re on the hunt for some new messaging to propel us forward. Words are powerful and can pick you up, placate you, or pull you down. We’re morphing your mantra to speak to you. Whether it’s a quote, an inspirational message, or just a catchy string of words, what you say and set your sights on can make all the difference. Let’s dig into saying it, claiming it, and making it happen - and why what we say directly affects what we think. It’s important to know what you can and can’t control to be effective with your efforts.

Now you might associate the word mantra with yoga or meditation like “ummmm” repeated over and over to put you in a state of awareness. On this show, we are using mantra as a word, words, or quote that you will connect with that means something to your being or in respect to a goal. We are specifically talking about morphing your existing one or taking on a new one because every day we are changing and what served us before may not serve us today or in days ahead.

Mantras can give you that source of inspiration, the anchor to which your goals are tied. When you are feeling lost and uninspired they can help refocus your efforts. Now, you can find mantras for just about anything. 

If you are stressed out

Gotten off track

Need to exercise more

Finding gratitude in the morning

And so on….

But before we dig in to find a source of inspiration, we have a little work to do. What are you trying to do? You can’t just throw inspiration against the wall to see what sticks. You need to pick a goal, a new direction, a state of being, and then find the words to encourage you on your journey. 

Margie Warrell tells us why Your Words Are Powerful: 8 Positive Speaking Habits to Build Yourself Up in an article she wrote for success.com

The words you use hold immense power. Power to fuel your confidence and ambition and power to make you feel anxious and inadequate. Power to make a strong first impression and power to be quickly forgotten. Power to create opportunities and power to shut them down.

Hold yourself powerfully.

Reframe forward.

Avoid absolutes.

Avoid absolutes.

Shelve the “shoulds.”

Express commitment. (Stop “trying”!)

Limit the labels.

Rephrase problems as opportunities.

One of my favorite quotes is…..”She stood in the middle of the storm and when the wind didn’t blow her way, she adjusted her sails” by Elizabeth Edwards. 

For me, this is that anchor I was talking about. She didn’t run from conflict, she stood where she was, in the middle, and even when nothing was happening, she didn’t take a rest, she looked for wind by adjusting her sails. That speaks empowerment to me and being tenacious. When I’m feeling weak and overwhelmed, I can refer to the feeling I get when I recite this quote. I’ve made bookmarks and magnets for others to share this feeling. 

...Let’s take another look at the power behind what we say and think from an interesting article I found on Legacy.com: WORDS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN GUNS

There are major differences between verbal and physical violence. A physical attack is obvious and unmistakable. It hurts and often leaves a visible mark.  The pain of verbal violence goes deep to the self and festers there. Because nothing shows on the surface, you can't expect much sympathy or even actual assistance. Worst of all, verbal violence often goes unrecognized, except at a level you probably may not even understand yourself.

If words can hurt, they can also heal. Think of the four words, "I have a dream." The moment they enter your mind, you know who said them -- and why. 

Much has been written about the need for new patterns of communication in our society. There's deep dissatisfaction with the traditional ways of dealing with conflict, from argument to debate to lawsuits to violence. There's a growing feeling that there has to be a better way. 

So many times we say something to someone or even to ourselves never fully u