Time for William 4 to shine and demonstrate the admiral qualities of a king. Or not.

George 4 (May he live forever) is sick again but this time it may be real. He’s on the booze, the drugs and lots of tucker so is doing himself no favours. And his pet giraffe will die. Sad.

Caroline has come back to England to be the darling of the people. For a bit.

How on earth have we become a mighty empire? Plus George will get his very own silly hat but will Caroline spoil the fun.

Well the whole family looks pretty dysfunctional so it is hardly surprising that we have unhappy children. Princess Charlotte just wants to have fun but Prinny is not about to let that happen. She is to obey him.

Team Wellesley will finish the job and India will become part of the British empire.

It will be Richard and Arthur working in India. All they want is everything, thanks.

George has a new name for his closest friends to use. Meanwhile, Napoleon has got himself into all sorts of bother by going into Russia. Lots of his brave boys will not be going home again.

Prince George is desperate to take over from his mad dad, but plenty of people would rather he didn’t. On and on it goes. Historical fiction this week will feature a cross dressing lesbian at the court of Ted 2 and that means some Piers Gaveston action.

George is getting there but he will have to be patient and so will we.