Have you ever felt like your worth is entirely tied to your last big win or how well you’re "performing" for the people around you? In this episode of Transforming Us, Jess sits down with the incredible Reverend Clare Loughrige to tackle that exact tension. For many of us—especially those who identify with the Enneagram Three—identity can easily get tangled up in what we do rather than who we are. Clare introduces us to the Enneagram Harmony Triad, a powerful tool that helps us move out of that trap by balancing our head, heart, and gut intelligence. This is Enneagram Harmony and integration.

But how do we actually heal those deep-seated patterns that make us feel like we have to perform? Jess and Clare dive into the world of Attachment Theory and the wisdom of St. Ignatius to find wisdom. By approaching our past with compassion and curiosity, we can begin to see the Enneagram not just as a personality test, but as a sacred map for relational healing and soul-care.

What if the most productive thing you could do for your spiritual life was actually to stop working? It sounds counterintuitive, but Clare argues that the radical practice of the Sabbath is the ultimate antidote to the pressure of constant productivity that a 3 feels. We wrap up the conversation by exploring how rest acts as a vital spiritual discipline for remembering who we truly are apart from our enneagram “edge” as she calls our false self patterns..

About Our Guest: Rev. Clare Loughrige, MMin, is an author, IEA Accredited Enneagram professional, and Founder of Crossroads Soul Resources School of Spiritual Direction. A contemplative-activist and Lead Pastor since 1991, she integrates spiritual rhythms and justice advocacy to help leaders move toward interior freedom and their God-given design.

Websites

https://clareloughrige.com

https://ccmonline.org

Enneagram certification

https://scottandclareloughrige.org/enneagram-certification/

Spiritual Direction School

https://scottandclareloughrige.org/school-of-spiritual-direction-2/

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus