Now that you know more about the Enneagram instincts and desires, and you've heard that they're even MORE important than your types, what's one way you can build a bridge in an opposites attract pairing? Today we explore exactly that - what happens when different dominant instincts collide in marriage and what can you do. What happens when Security-focused (SP) marries Intensity-focused (SX)? Or when Social-focused (SO) pairs with Security-focused (SP)? I break down all 6 possible combinations with quick fixes for each. Real couples, real solutions, simple framework you can use today. Watch on YouTube! Deeper dive with us on Apple Pod, too!

Don't forget! Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the Russ Hudson Three Instincts course ⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠ https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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As we shift into this new year with intention, best-selling author and influencer Hannah Brencher, Type 4, author of The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World, joins us for a conversation about building healthy tech habits in marriage and family life. Featured in O, The Oprah Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, and more with a reach of 200K+, Hannah brings beautiful creative ways to unplug that cover all three instincts: self-preservation (creating time for health and rest), sexual (more presence in your marriage), and social (intentional with people, not just scrolling). As a Type 4 who needs depth, authenticity, and space for creativity, Hannah shares her end-of-day phone ritual where she turns her phone down, uses a brick phone of sorts, how she helps her type 2 hubby with his phone, and fascinatingly relies on yellow legal pads to inspire analog creativity instead of defaulting to screens. She and Christa explore how to navigate tech boundaries in marriage without conflict, too. Hannah also shares how she's thinking about tech habits for her family and building boundaries while her kids are young and most impressionable with habits. This conversation is full of practical wisdom, gentle encouragement, and honest reflection on how to reclaim presence in a digitally connected world with intention, too. Watch on YouTube!

Find Hannah's work at HannahBrencher.com

Follow Hannah at Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hannahbrencher/?hl=en

Find Hannah's book, The Unplugged Hours here! https://a.co/d/fmw0XqV

Other E + M News:

Don't forget! Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the Russ Hudson Three Instincts course ⁠⁠here!⁠⁠ https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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After Monday’s incredible conversation with Russ Hudson, we’re diving into our January theme: Instincts & Intimacy. Today’s episode reveals how your dominant instinct (Self-Preservation, Social, or Sexual) often shows up differently when dating versus being married. We talk through not only how those differences may look, but how you can still try to find the healthiest and most achievable desires you're missing from those early honeymoon days. Break down each instinct’s dating “performance” versus marriage reality, plus how to work with (not against) your and your partner’s instinctual drives as you do so. Watch on YouTube!

Don't forget! Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the course ⁠here!⁠ https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/

Find ⁠Russ Hudson's books here!⁠ https://russhudson.com/books/

For more about Russ, visit https://russhudson.com/

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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In our biggest kick-off of a new year yet, we introduce our listeners today to Russ Hudson, co-founder of The Enneagram Institute, best-selling author, and one of the world's most respected Enneagram teachers for over 30 years! Russ joins us for an hour-long, jam-packed conversation clarifying the three instincts: self-preservation, social, and sexual. This isn't surface-level learning, so get ready to transform with us while Russ explains what the instincts actually are at their core and why they're the engine of your relationships and marriage, not just an overlay to your type. Russ also dismantles common misunderstandings, and tells us about his deep diving course coming up! This conversation between Christa (Type 7) and Russ (Type 5) is full of joy, depth, and practical wisdom for you as you begin afresh this new year. Listen now on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen or watch here on YouTube!

In his riveting and personal deep-diving eight-week course coming up Feb 18, The Instincts and Inner Work: Building Practices for Transforming Our Life Patterns, Russ will walk you through these instincts in even far more depth in an 8-week live course "The Instincts and Inner Work". Join here to dive into personal and relational transformation together with Russ himself.

Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the course here! https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/

Find Russ Hudson's books here! https://russhudson.com/books/

For more about Russ, visit https://russhudson.com/

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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Happy New Year! We're completing our comprehensive series with the final 15 pairings - all combinations with Types 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Today explores how Head types (5-6-7) navigate their safety strategies in relationships, plus the powerful dynamics of Body types 8 and 9. From the double-withdrawal of 5+5 couples who risk becoming roommates, to the explosive intensity of 8+8 pairs, to the conflict-avoidant 9+9 dynamic that looks perfect until it isn't - each pairing gets practical insights and breakthrough moments. Whether you're navigating the 6+7 anxiety-meets-optimism dance or the classic 8+9 power-meets-peace dynamic, discover what makes your specific combination work. Plus, exciting news about Russ Hudson joining us Monday to discuss instincts and his upcoming course!

Watch on YouTube!⁠⁠

⁠⁠Get Your Glow Pairing Guide here! ⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow

⁠⁠Get Your Type Deeper Dive Here!⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives

Use code HAPPYNEWYEAR for 30% off everything at the ⁠⁠website here⁠⁠!

Become an E + M Certified coach here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass

Get coaching packages here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/coachingpackages

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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Happy holidays from the E+M family! In Part 2 of our comprehensive series, we’re covering more Enneagram types! (2+8 through 4+9)! From the 2’s emotional giving, to the 3’s achievement drive, to the 4’s search for authentic connection, we're learning about what happens when double Heart types unite (hello, intensity!) and how they dance with Body and Head types as well. Each pairing includes real marriage examples and breakthrough insights you can apply immediately. Plus, get ready for an Instincts Masterclass as master Enneagram teacher Russ Hudson joins us next week! Whether you’re navigating the 3+3 power couple dynamic or the 4+5 pursuer-distancer dance (or another!), this episode illuminates your unique relationship blueprint for you and your spouse or helps you understand another close family or friend dynamic as well. Listen here!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Watch on YouTube!⁠

⁠Get Your Glow Pairing Guide here! ⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow

⁠Get Your Type Deeper Dive Here!⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives

Use code HAPPYNEWYEAR for 30% off everything at the ⁠website here⁠!

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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Today, we're covering ALL 45 Enneagram couple combinations over three episodes. In Part 1, we explore every Type 1 pairing (1+1 through 1+9) and begin the Type 2s (2+1 - 2+7). Discover how those types that fight for justice, those types that tend to lean out emotionally, and how those looking for security plan for safety in relationships, and most of all, how they merge together. Whether you're a 1+2 navigating righteousness with tender expression, or any other pairing, you'll gain insights into your unique dynamic as you see all the couples and families in real life and in media too. Each pairing gets practical marriage attention and examples as well as key breakthroughs. This episode makes for perfect listening as you reflect on you and your marriage and family relationship patterns heading for deep life changes, and our glow guides, book, and the deeper dive guides are a great accompaniment!

Watch on YouTube!

Get Your Glow Pairing Guide here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow

Get Your Type Deeper Dive Here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives

Use code HAPPYNEWYEAR for 30% off everything at the website here!

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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In the final week of our Advent series, we explore love as the gift of understanding. After three weeks of learning about hope, peace, and joy through the lens of our instincts, we arrive at what matters most: choosing to understand your partner's instinctual needs instead of judging their behavior. When you see that your SP spouse isn't being cheap but protecting security, that your SO spouse isn't people-pleasing but creating belonging, or that your SX spouse isn't being needy but protecting intimacy, everything shifts. This episode recaps the four-week journey and invites you into a practice of choosing curiosity over blame, understanding over fixing, and compassion over criticism. If you've been following along this Advent season, this is where it all comes together, the gift you can give your spouse this Christmas and every day after. Watch on YouTube!

https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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Sara Billups (type 4, 4-5 pairing), author of "Nervous Systems: Spiritual Practices to Calm Anxiety in Your Body, the Church, and Politics," joins us for a conversation about anxiety that's especially needed as we head into Christmas. Sara explores how anxiety manifests in three interconnected ways, and how couples who are in the sandwich generation (Millennial, Gen X especially) navigate personal anxiety, church disillusionment, and political division all at once as their nervous systems rise up in anxiety.

Drawing from her experience caregiving for aging ill parents while parenting teens with their own anxiety along with her own anxiety, Sara offers wisdom for couples in the sandwich generation stretched thin caring for multiple generations while trying to protect their marriage.

She also unpacks scrupulosity and how being trained to pursue "being good" is often far from healthy holiness, especially for those raised evangelical, and how this performance anxiety shows up in marriage. Sara's prescription for anxiety is holy indifference, the Ignatian concept of open-handedness toward both blessings and trials, not as giving up but as giving into the Spirit, and what this looks like practically when anxious about outcomes or when life isn't going as hoped. Rather than offering prescriptive how-to lists, Sara offered a soothing balm for anxious hearts heading into holiday chaos. Find "Nervous Systems" wherever books are sold. Watch on YouTube, too!

Get Sara's book, Nervous Systems, here! https://a.co/d/ieVOMum

Deeper Dive Guides on sale here! Use code DEEPERDIVE for $10 off!

https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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The third episode in our Advent series explores why most couples don't feel joyful during the holidays and how to protect joy when everything feels like obligation and chaos. Joy becomes elusive when we expect it to be natural, when we prioritize mere survival over connection, when we forget to dig deep to remember God's love for us is the deepest reason for joy, when we lose ourselves in others' never-ending needs, when we escape instead of engaging, and when we don't pause during the chaos that puts your nervous system in survival mode where delight is impossible. There is so much to learn and we can take it step by step together! Listen here as you find centering and re-embrace delight this holiday or anytime of year!! Watch on YouTube!

Use the code "GLOW" for $10 Couple Pairing Guides here!

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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