Merry Christmas Eve! Today we're kicking off something special that was listener requested, something that will dazzle some and perhaps overwhelm others who are here for straigt up marriage tips only, but don't worry, we'll be back for those in the new year! Today on this holiday break, we're covering ALL 45 Enneagram couple combinations over three episodes. In Part 1, we explore every Type 1 pairing (1+1 through 1+9) and begin the Type 2s (2+1 - 2+7) Discover how those types that fight for justice, those types that tend to lean out emotionally, and how those looking for security plan for safety in relationships and how they merge together. Whether you're a 1+2 navigating righteousness with tender expression, or any other pairing, you'll gain insights into your unique dynamic as you see all the couples and families in real life and in media too. Each pairing gets practical marriage examples and key breakthroughs. This episode makes for perfect holiday listening as you reflect on you and your marriage and family relationship patterns heading into the new year!
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In the final week of our Advent series, we explore love as the gift of understanding. After three weeks of learning about hope, peace, and joy through the lens of our instincts, we arrive at what matters most: choosing to understand your partner's instinctual needs instead of judging their behavior. When you see that your SP spouse isn't being cheap but protecting security, that your SO spouse isn't people-pleasing but creating belonging, or that your SX spouse isn't being needy but protecting intimacy, everything shifts. This episode recaps the four-week journey and invites you into a practice of choosing curiosity over blame, understanding over fixing, and compassion over criticism. If you've been following along this Advent season, this is where it all comes together, the gift you can give your spouse this Christmas and every day after. Watch on YouTube!

https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives

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Sara Billups (type 4, 4-5 pairing), author of "Nervous Systems: Spiritual Practices to Calm Anxiety in Your Body, the Church, and Politics," joins us for a conversation about anxiety that's especially needed as we head into Christmas. Sara explores how anxiety manifests in three interconnected ways, and how couples who are in the sandwich generation (Millennial, Gen X especially) navigate personal anxiety, church disillusionment, and political division all at once as their nervous systems rise up in anxiety.

Drawing from her experience caregiving for aging ill parents while parenting teens with their own anxiety along with her own anxiety, Sara offers wisdom for couples in the sandwich generation stretched thin caring for multiple generations while trying to protect their marriage.

She also unpacks scrupulosity and how being trained to pursue "being good" is often far from healthy holiness, especially for those raised evangelical, and how this performance anxiety shows up in marriage. Sara's prescription for anxiety is holy indifference, the Ignatian concept of open-handedness toward both blessings and trials, not as giving up but as giving into the Spirit, and what this looks like practically when anxious about outcomes or when life isn't going as hoped. Rather than offering prescriptive how-to lists, Sara offered a soothing balm for anxious hearts heading into holiday chaos. Find "Nervous Systems" wherever books are sold. Watch on YouTube, too!

Get Sara's book, Nervous Systems, here! https://a.co/d/ieVOMum

Deeper Dive Guides on sale here! Use code DEEPERDIVE for $10 off!

https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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The third episode in our Advent series explores why most couples don't feel joyful during the holidays and how to protect joy when everything feels like obligation and chaos. Joy becomes elusive when we expect it to be natural, when we prioritize mere survival over connection, when we forget to dig deep to remember God's love for us is the deepest reason for joy, when we lose ourselves in others' never-ending needs, when we escape instead of engaging, and when we don't pause during the chaos that puts your nervous system in survival mode where delight is impossible. There is so much to learn and we can take it step by step together! Listen here as you find centering and re-embrace delight this holiday or anytime of year!! Watch on YouTube!

Use the code "GLOW" for $10 Couple Pairing Guides here!

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Anna Rollins, author of "Famished," joins us for an honest conversation about the intersection of purity culture, eating, body image, and sexual intimacy in marriage in general and especially Christian marriage. We explore what happened in the Christian movement around weight and body image that went beyond general cultural dysfunction and became particularly harmful in church spaces, such as Anna's church creating an eating based programs as she talks about here in and in her book. Drawing on research from Sheila Wray Gregoire's survey of 20,000 women (one of our favorite past guests), Anna unpacks the connection between body shame and sexual intimacy, including the often-hidden correlation between body shame and painful sex that many women don't realize exists. She shares her personal journey of moving from controlling her body through over-exercising to actually caring for and stewarding it well, how she's parenting with intention, and how her relationship with her body has drawn her at first farther but ultimately closer, ultimately, back to God. This conversation is essential for anyone navigating body image in marriage or raising children in the intersection of faith and culture. Find "Famished" wherever books are sold and connect with Anna's work. Watch here on YouTube!

Get Anna's book Famished: On Food, Sex, and Growing up a Good Girl here! https://a.co/d/eO5BbMa

Follow Anna Rollins'Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/annajrollins/?hl=en

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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Get on our Advent adventure together too where we'll discuss hope, love, and joy starting December 1st at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Mark your calendars for Dec 9 as we meet over Zoom 1PM EST to discuss how to keep you from fighting all season long, too! Sign up for emails to get your link.

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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In this episode, Christa sits down with men’s marriage coach Eric MacDougall, an Enneagram 4 with 8 tendencies (4-3 pairing), to talk honestly about why so many men unknowingly disconnect emotionally, even while trying to “do everything right.” Eric shares the breaking-point moment when his Enneagram 3 (with-9) tendencies wife told him she loved him but wasn’t in love anymore, and how that revelation pushed him to confront his patterns of overworking, performing, and using sex or productivity as substitutes for true intimacy. Together, they explore why men often rely on sexual touch to soothe deeper loneliness, and how emotional leadership creates the connection they’re really longing for. Christa and Eric dive into differentiation, attunement, and how to become a safe, grounded presence instead of a fixer or withdrawer. Eric offers practical tools for rebuilding trust, cultivating intimacy that lasts, and leading with steadiness instead of intensity. This conversation is vulnerable, creative, and deeply hopeful for any couple wanting more connection and passion in their marriage. Listen here and ⁠watch on YouTube here!⁠

⁠Find Eric's podcast at Evolved Marriage:⁠ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-evolved-marriage-podcast/id1564452959

⁠Find The Evolved Marriage website and men's coaching groups:⁠ https://www.evolvedmarriage.com/

⁠Find Evolved Marriage on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/evolved_marriage/?hl=en

Get on our Advent adventure together too where we'll discuss hope, love, and joy starting December 1st at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Mark your calendars for Dec 9 as we meet over Zoom 1PM EST to discuss how to keep you from fighting all season long, too! Sign up for emails to get your link.

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx

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What are you really waiting for this December? Not the polished answer—the honest one. What's keeping you up at night? What's making your spouse anxious?

In this first episode of our 4-part seasonal series, we explore the three types of hope that show up in marriages during the holidays: Security (Will we be okay? Will we have enough?), Connection (Will everyone get along? Will anyone feel left out?), and Intimacy (Will we stay close intimately or sexually)? Will we lose each other in the chaos?).

You'll discover why you and your spouse are often "waiting" for completely different things this season, and why that difference creates so much tension. More importantly, you'll learn how to honor both longings without making either one wrong, so you can actually experience renewal together instead of just surviving until January.

Whether you're the one watching the budget, managing family dynamics, or protecting your marriage connection, this episode will help you name what you need and understand what your spouse needs too. Watch on YouTube, tooz1

Get your "Me-Time Coaching Session" package here!⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/coachingpackages-2

Use code BLACKFRIDAY for 55% off here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com

Get on our Advent adventure together too where we'll discuss hope, love, and joy starting December 1st at ⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠. Mark your calendars for Dec 9 as we meet over Zoom 1PM EST to discuss how to keep you from fighting all season long, too! Sign up for emails to get your link.

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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The third episode in our family systems series explores triangulation, the pattern where a two-person relationship becomes unstable so you pull in a third person to stabilize it. Instead of dealing with issues directly with your spouse, you complain to your mom, get your best friend to tell them they're wrong, focus all your energy on the kids, or text your sister about your marriage. Triangulation feels safer than direct conflict because it gives you validation and emotional support without vulnerability, but it doesn't actually solve anything. Christa breaks down how each Enneagram type triangulates and also gives general tips in this quick, must-listen holiday prep episode! But here's the nuance: sometimes you need to triangulate for a moment. Listen for how to do both! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com if you're not on the email list yet. Watch on YouTube!

Get your "Me-Time Coaching Session" package here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/coachingpackages-2

Use code BLACKFRIDAY for 50% off here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com

Get on our Advent adventure together too where we'll discuss hope, love, and joy starting December 1st at ⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠.

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

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As we head into Thanksgiving week, fears are high and tensions are real and you and your family need both wisdom and peace for the wild cultural times and questions of faith in dark moments. Alexandra Hudson, leading world leader and founder of Civic Renaissance (with 50,000 subscribers and the praise of the Wall Street Journal) is timely on the pod, both in our convo here with Christa in also what she has written "The Soul of Civility" as she revived what the ancient Greeks called "the Great Conversation" about politics, beauty, goodness, and truth. On the must-listen pod here, Alexandra (Lexie) makes a crucial distinction: true civility is deeper than politeness, understanding the substance behind people's words and practicing robust discourse with love while respecting personhood. This conversation explores the "libido dominandi," the desire to dominate that shows up in marriages, families, and our cultural discourse, as human group effect takes us farther away from what we really need - each other. Whether you're navigating a tense marriage, a divided family gathering, or just trying to stay sane in our current moment, this listener-requested episode is a gem as you prep for differing voices over the holiday. Remember, respectful discourse doesn't mean avoiding disagreement, it means engaging it well and with love and grace so good is done in the world - we are all learning this together. Watch on YouTube!

Get the book: "The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves" by Alexandra Hudson https://a.co/d/dzJN8Zs

Get on her website to get her beautiful newsletter: https://alexandraohudson.com/

Get on our Advent adventure together too where we'll discuss hope, love, and joy starting December 1st at ⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠.

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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