In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen welcomes back Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President and Provost of The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, for a thoughtful conversation about navigating today’s fragmented world with hope, kindness, and connection.

They explore how uncertainty, institutional distrust, and cultural polarization have left many feeling unmoored. 

As people of faith, we are called to love God and our neighbors—but how do we do this in a world that feels so divided? 

Regardless of religious, political, or personal identity, we all feel the effects of fragmentation. We are in search of a new story—a story that can hold us together.

Dr. McNeil reflects on the deep need for community and the dangers of isolating in survival mode. Together, they discuss the challenge of living faithfully amid social, political, and relational fractures.

If you’re grappling with feelings of disconnection or isolation, or if you’ve been wondering how to engage with others in a fractured world, tune in for a powerful conversation about finding hope, purpose, and co-creating a renewed sense of belonging.

Valentine’s Day is often wrapped in commercialized romance, but what if love is more than sentimentality? In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen explore an aspect of love that we all need—kindness. But not the shallow, conflict-avoidant “niceness” we often mistake for kindness. Instead, they dive into the disruptive, provocative nature of true kindness—kindness that challenges, disrupts old patterns, and calls us into deeper growth.

Kindness asks us to receive care and, sometimes, even risk disconnection for the sake of deeper intimacy. Together, Dan and Rachael unpack how true kindness is an act of restoration. They discuss the surprising, ennobling nature of kindness and how it reflects the heart of God—a love that offers goodness even when we least deserve it.

So, as we navigate a day often filled with roses and greeting cards, let’s consider the kind of love that truly transforms—the kind that sees, knows, and calls us toward who we long to become.

At the Allender Center, we love stories—and this week, we’re honored to hear from Charlie Peacock as he shares his own. His brand-new memoir, “Roots and Rhythm: A Life in Music,” offers a deep dive into the journey that shaped his legendary career.

A Grammy Award-winning music producer whose work has shaped the sound of multiple generations, Charlie opens up about his journey through music, his creative process, and the stories behind his life — and the stories he’s chosen to tell in his memoir. 

Join us for a conversation that explores artistry, spirituality, identity, and the cost of seeing the world in a different way.

You can find Charlie Peacock’s latest book, Roots & Rhythm: A Life in Music, wherever books are sold.

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Find the transcript for this episode and more at: theallendercenter.org/podcast

Healing isn’t about “fixing” yourself or completing a checklist. It’s about stepping into the fullness of who you were created to be. It’s about reclaiming the parts of you that trauma, disappointment, or systems of injustice have tried to diminish.  

As Dan puts it: “Healing can't take over our lives in the sense that you do nothing but heal. But there is something about love—love of your own body and what it can bring others when you are healthier.”

Your healing matters because you matter—your story, your relationships, and the unique impact God has called you to make in the world.

The journey toward healing can feel messy, nonlinear, and even lonely at times—but it doesn’t have to be. Rachael and Dan remind us that healing isn’t something we’re meant to do alone. Healing happens in connection—with trusted friends, family, care providers, and a supportive community. It’s a process we walk through together—supported by community, grounded in love, and marked by hope.

We hope this week’s podcast episode offers wisdom and practical steps to help you reimagine your relationship with healing this year.

This episode contains some mild language; listener discretion is advised.

Have you ever wondered what we mean when we say “your story” and why it matters? In this special episode, Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan Allender sit down together to unpack the basics. Whether you’re new to this conversation or you’ve been on the journey for a while, this is a perfect place to start—or to revisit the foundation of story work.

We’re thrilled to co-release this episode with The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast. Grab a cup of coffee, find a cozy spot, and join us as we explore the transformative power of engaging your story.

If this conversation resonates with you, we’d love for you to join us in person (or online!) at the StoryWork Conference in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday, February 22, 2025. Spend a day diving deeper into your story with Dan, Cathy, and Adam. Therapists, CEUs are available!

Ready to take the next step? Find all the details at:

adamyoungcounseling.com/storywork-conference-2025/

To celebrate the forthcoming release of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored by Dan Allender and Steve Call, Dan and Becky Allender reflect on their own marriage story — its unique dynamics, the challenges they’ve faced, and the redemptive journey they’ve walked together. 

They open up about how their family-of-origin stories shaped their relationship in ways they didn’t initially realize and the intentional work it took to build new, healthier ways of connecting, particularly over the past decade.

Whether you’re married, dating, or reflecting on other relationships in your life, we think Dan and Becky’s vulnerability and hard-earned insights will resonate with anyone who has felt stuck in a pattern or wondered how to move forward toward healing. Their story is a powerful reminder that meaningful growth takes time, courage, kindness, and the willingness to engage your stories — together.

Be sure to get your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, available here on Amazon or at your favorite bookseller on January 21, 2025.

Becky Allender sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen for a one-on-one conversation. Becky reflects on how she and Dan have experienced profound transformation in their marriage, particularly since the Allender Center was founded in 2011. It was during this time that they began practicing the fundamentals of story engagement within their own relationship—a journey that not only changed their lives but also inspired the Marriage offerings at the Allender Center. 

No matter what season you’re in—whether your relationship is new or you’ve been married for decades like Dan and Becky—there’s always something new to learn. Every step offers a chance to meet one another with greater kindness, compassion, and understanding.

Next week, Dan will rejoin the podcast conversation, but today, we hope you enjoy this episode with Becky and Rachael as they share their wisdom and reflections on marriage and connection.

Listener Resources:

• Check out Hidden in Plain Sight by Becky Allender.

• Read some of Becky Allender's blog posts.

• Pre-order your copy of The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dan Allender and Steve Call.

As we think about the upcoming year, we know that hope can feel elusive. Weighed down by uncertainty, exhaustion, and a world filled with division and stress, it’s easy to wonder if hope is even worth holding onto.

Hope carries heartache. Longing for something better can feel vulnerable, especially when past disappointments and cynicism weigh heavy on our hearts. It can feel safer to let go of hope than to risk the ache of unfulfilled desire.

But as Dan Allender shares, hope isn’t passive or naïve. It’s “a kind of patience that does not erase desire, but has a resilience to remain in the movement toward the dream that hope holds, with a kind of defiance—a willingness to say, I don't just wait passively, I wait in a way in which I'm willing to risk on the anticipation of the arrival of what my heart most deeply desires.”

Hope doesn’t deny the pain of the past or present; it’s a courageous choice to believe in the future possibility of good. And it often begins small—a moment of gratitude, a glimpse of beauty, or the connection we find with others.

This year, we can choose hope—not because it’s easy, but because it opens us up to something deeper, truer, and worth desiring.

As we near the close of the year, Dan and Becky Allender are continuing a podcast tradition: sitting down to reflect on their experiences and inviting you, our listeners, to join them in this meaningful practice.

Dan and Becky share their own reflections—what they’ve learned, what they’re grieving, and what they’re celebrating—as they prepare to transition into a new season.

They’ve also shared a few practical ways you can reflect on your year:

• Scroll through your photo gallery. Notice the moments that brought you joy, growth, or even challenge.

• Review your calendar. Whether you logged your events in a digital calendar or on paper, look back on events and milestones from each month. Do you notice any themes? Choose five words. If you could describe your year in just five words, what would they be?

We hope you’ll take a moment as we close out the year to pause, reflect, and dream for what’s to come.

With Christmas just around the corner, it’s easy to get lost in the comforts of gifts, gatherings, and familiar holiday carols. Yet in today’s podcast, Dan and Rachael remind us that the true celebration of Christmas means embracing the profound disruption Jesus brought to the world—a call to love, bless, and challenge the status quo, even in a world often defined by hatred and division.

This conversation invites us to see Christmas as more than a season of comfort. It’s a time of transformation, calling us to step into the work of love, justice, and restoration.

Merry Christmas from all of us here at the Allender Center! We’ll take a short break on the podcast next week, and will return on December 27th with a year-end reflection from Dan and Becky Allender.