Transforming Us Podcast

In this Season 3 finale before a podcast sabbatical, host Jess Vangsnes invites us into a vital yet often overlooked pillar of relational wholeness: Rest. Moving from "doing" into "being," Jess shares a personal look at her upcoming pause through early 2027 as she leans into seminary studies and discerns next steps for a call to serve.

Before stepping back, Jess offers a guided reflection through the foundational frameworks explored across the last 13 months. She breaks down Attachment Theory to help unpack nervous system responses and move toward earned security in God’s steady love. She examines how the Enneagram acts as protective armor, offering ways to soften defensive patterns and align with your True Self. Through Parts Work and Internal Family Systems, she shares how to replace inner judgment with Spirit-led curiosity to care for your protective and weary parts. Finally, she grounds these concepts in actionable Soul Care practices—including silence, solitude, the Daily Examen, and somatic awareness—to sustain you through seasons of transition.

Whether you are navigating anxious patterns, avoidant pulls, or divided internal parts, this episode offers reflective prompts and tools to help you settle into secure presence. While new episodes are on pause through early 2027, private 1:1 and couples coaching with Jess remains open. Reach out directly at [email protected] to work together during this season.

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

In Part 2 of this special two-part series, Jessica Vangsnes re-joins Bryan and Rachel Hare of Curate Ministries to dive into the practical framework behind their ongoing doctoral research at Denver Seminary. Bryan and Rachel share the details of their 3-month adaptation of the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises designed specifically for married couples, illuminating how a structured container can help spouses become true soul companions without slipping into roles of fixing, advising, or counseling.

Discover what a practical, weekly rhythm of Lectio Divina, imaginative prayer, the Prayer of Examen, and structured speaker-listener debriefs looks like amidst the busyness of daily family life. Jessica and her guests discuss how stepping into non-judgmental listening diffuses relational tension, nurtures deep emotional compassion, and shifts a couple's dynamic away from managing marital problems toward experiencing God’s presence together. Jessica and her husband, Travis, are also stepping into this cohort experience themselves, offering a candid peek at what embarking on this transformative journey looks like from the inside.

Explore retreat opportunities and resources at curateministries.org and subscribe to Rachel’s Substack, Rooted Together.

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

What does it truly mean to companion your spouse into a deeper, more intimate life with Christ? In this rich and expansive episode of Transforming Us, host Jessica Vangsnes sits down with Bryan and Rachel Hare—founders of Curate Ministries, trained spiritual directors, and doctoral researchers at Denver Seminary. Together, they invite us to step away from rigid expectations and explore how spiritual practices—specifically the ancient, reflective traditions of Ignatian spirituality and the Prayer of Examen—can fundamentally reshape how couples relate to God and to each other.

Moving well beyond surface-level Bible studies or abstract theological discussions, Bryan and Rachel offer a compassionate, grounded approach to soul companionship in everyday life. They unpack how honoring each spouse’s unique personality patterns (including Enneagram dynamics) and attachment styles creates a safe, generous space for authentic spiritual intimacy to flourish. Whether you are navigating mismatched spiritual rhythms, wrestling with seasonal burnout, or simply longing for a deeper heart connection with your partner, this conversation provides a refreshing roadmap for holding space, practicing "holy curiosity," and witnessing the unique ways God is moving in your spouse’s interior world.

Learn more about Bryan and Rachel’s work at curateministries.org and read Rachel’s writing on her Substack, Rooted Together.

Discover more about Transforming Us coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

How do we move from simply surviving a chaotic culture to experiencing genuine, deep-soul transformation alongside others? In Part 2 of this beautiful conversation, we dive back in with Kaylene Derksen to unpack the practical roadmap for a changing inner life. If Part 1 was an invitation to stop running, Part 2 is the field guide on what to do when you finally slow down. We map out the vital rhythm of stepping away to listen, learning how to recognize our baseline identity as God’s beloved, and exploring the developmental seasons we all face on the journey of faith.

True transformation is never a solo project. Together, we explore how practicing intentional disengagement, listening, and quiet presence as a beloved one transforms not only our individual hearts but also ripples out to heal our families, friendships, and communities.

If you are feeling hurried, exhausted, or navigating a lonely season of faith, this episode offers a gentle, structured space to breathe and find your bearings.

• The Sacred Cycle of Disengagement: Why pulling away isn't an escape or a luxury, but a necessary spiritual boundary that allows you to quiet the noise, process internal loneliness, and show up more fully for others.
• The Art of Intentional Listening: How to move past the external distractions of a frantic world and slow down enough to cultivate deep presence, learning how to truly hear your own soul and notice the subtle movements of God.
• Embracing Your True Identity as "Beloved": How moving past intellectual head-knowledge into an experiential reality of God's love creates a profound sense of internal safety, serving as the ultimate catalyst for emotional healing.
• The Roadmap of the Spiritual Journey: A deep dive into the six distinct developmental stages of faith—including the confusing and isolating seasons—offering language and comfort for where you currently stand in your walk with God.

Kaylene Derksen is a trauma-informed spiritual director and the President of the Soul Care Institute. With decades of ministry experience spanning youth pastoring, worship leadership, and multicultural missions both in the U.S. and in Germany, Kaylene’s work is rooted in a deep commitment to helping people attend to the movements of their inner life, cultivate sustainable rhythms, and grow in awareness of God's presence in everyday experience.

• Learn More: Visit SoulCareInstitute.com to explore retreats, 2027 cohorts, and training.
• Get in Touch: Reach out to Kaylene directly at [email protected].
• Recommended Reading: Explore the six stages of faith development discussed in this episode with the book The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich.

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Can we really find true rest when our internal world feels just as chaotic as the world around us? In Part 1 of this deeply grounding conversation, we sit down with Kaylene Derksen to explore what it actually means to tend to our inner life. As a trauma-informed spiritual director and the President of the Soul Care Institute, Kaylene helps us all move past the frantic pace of modern culture to cultivate sustainable, life-giving rhythms.

We often treat our spiritual life as just one piece of a busy calendar, but Kaylene reminds us that our soul isn't a separate category—it is our whole self. Together, we dive into how moving through loss can awaken our inner life, why technology leaves us feeling so fragmented, and how ancient practices like hospitality, community, and the intentional art of retreat can restore our sense of internal safety with ourselves, others and Jesus.

If you are feeling hurried, exhausted, or longing for a deeper connection with God, this episode is a gentle invitation to slow down, disengage from the noise, and discover how soul care in community serves as the ultimate catalyst for holistic transformation.

• A Journey into Soul Care Leadership: How Kaylene stepped into leading the Soul Care Institute, the profound role of spiritual mentorship, and the task of carrying forward the rich legacy of teachers like Dallas Willard and Steve Smith.
• The Soul as Your "Whole" Self: Why spiritual formation isn't just an item on a checklist, but a holistic journey toward internal integration, safety, and addressing the fragmentation caused by modern culture.
• The Healing Power of Sacred Spaces: How intentional hospitality, shared community, and the practical art of pulling away for a retreat can uniquely awaken the inner life and deepen your connection with God.

Kaylene Derksen is a trauma-informed spiritual director and the President of the Soul Care Institute. With decades of ministry experience spanning youth pastoring, worship leadership, and multicultural missions both in the U.S. and in Germany, Kaylene’s work is rooted in a deep commitment to helping leaders attend to the movements of their inner life, cultivate sustainable rhythms, and grow in awareness of God's presence in everyday experience.

"Our soul is our whole, not just a piece of us."

"Wholeness is what God designed us to live in."

"Community is where the divine and the miraculous happen."

• Learn More: Visit SoulCareInstitute.com to explore retreats, 2027 cohorts, and training.
• Get in Touch: Reach out to Kaylene directly at [email protected].
• Recommended Reading: Dive deeper into the foundations of spiritual formation with the teachings of Steve Smith and the works of Dallas Willard (such as The Divine Conspiracy or Renovation of the Heart).

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

In part two of this dual-release conversation, Adam Ormord turns the microphone over to Jess Vangsnes to explore her unique inner landscape. Jess opens up about the foundational relationships that have profoundly shaped her walk with Jesus, focusing heavily on how her marriage has served as a crucible for learning to be truly loved and secure in her identity as the Beloved.

They discuss the vital importance of "same-direction friendships" and community in a shared pilgrimage. Jess also introduces art as a form of deep prayer and leads listeners through an immersive, imaginative exercise inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola—allowing you to physically and emotionally embody what it looks like to walk alongside Jesus as a true friend and guide.

Key Topics Covered:

• The Inward Pilgrimage: Exploring our interior landscapes and naming where we are spiritually.
• Marriage as Formation: How the intimacy of marriage shapes our capacity to accept God's love.
• Imaginative Prayer: A guided Ignatian inspired exercise to experience Jesus as a same direction pilgrim friend.
• Community on the Road: Finding and cultivating friendships that walk in the same spiritual direction.

Resources & Links

• Connect with Adam: LifePoint Resources | The Sacred Way Community | The Being Formed Podcast
• Connect with Jess: Transforming Us Website | Transforming Us Podcast on Apple | Shiny Eyes Retreat

Welcome to this special, dual-release episode kicking off a beautiful two-part conversation! In this episode, Adam Ormord of LifePoint Ministries and Jess Vangsnes of Transforming Us Coaching connect over their shared passion for spiritual formation, soul care, and relational connection.

Adam shares profound personal stories from his time walking the physical trail of the Camino de Santiago, exploring how pilgrimage serves as a powerful metaphor for our daily spiritual life. Together, Adam and Jess dive into how early attachment patterns shape our view of God, the transformational shift of learning to "listen softer" to His voice, and what it means to rest under the loving gaze of Jesus.

Stay tuned for part two of this conversation, where the tables turn and Adam asks Jess about the specific relationships that helped her lean into becoming the beloved of Jesus.

Key Topics Covered:

• The Metaphor of Pilgrimage: The deep significance of intentional journeys in the spiritual life.
• Listening Softer: Practical steps to slow down, practice presence, and attune to God in ordinary rhythms.
• Attachment Theory & Faith: How our relational wiring impacts our ability to trust and experience God's constant love.
• Relational Spirituality: Moving away from performing for God and stepping into secure connection and joy.

Resources

• Connect with Adam: LifePoint Resources | The Sacred Way Community | The Being Formed Podcast

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Get comfortable—this episode will completely shift how you see your inner world. What if your protective parts aren’t just your personality but sophisticated strategies rooted in survival? Discover how each Enneagram type develops unique, necessary parts that shield their deepest wounds—and how understanding these can unlock your true you.

We dive deep into the hidden motivations behind Enneagram numbers 1 through 9. You'll discover how perfectionism, overgiving, achievement, melancholy, detachment, enthusiasm, strength, peacekeeping, and passivity are all sub-personality tactics, designed to keep you safe from feeling controlled, unworthy, unseen, or afraid. But here’s the truth: these strategies may try to keep you safe, but they also keep you stuck. The real breakthrough? Learning how to gently invite your wise true self to rise up and lead your parts.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict.

In this eye-opening episode, you'll explore:

• How your inner protector shields your vulnerable parts—and why that might be sabotaging your growth
• The specific ‘containing codes’ of each Enneagram type that keep pain at bay
• The surprising ways childhood wounds shape your current survival strategies
• Practical tools to shift from unconscious guarding to conscious healing
• How embracing your authentic self can transform relationships, work, and your very sense of worth

If you're tired of feeling trapped by your own defenses—if you’re ready to step into the fullness of who you truly are—this episode is your pivotal moment. The strategies you learn here aren’t just theoretical—they’re life-changing. When you understand the protective parts that have been running the show, you hold the power to finally let your true self flourish.

This isn’t just about self-awareness; it’s about reclaiming your wholeness. Perfect for anyone seeking healing, growth, and genuine authenticity. Are you ready to meet your parts with compassion and unlock the deep well of strength within? Hit play and begin the journey to your most authentic self. Your transformation starts now.

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Unlock the secret to transforming your deepest relational wounds—your attachment style—and finally find the security you’ve been craving. If past hurts, fear of abandonment, or relentless pursuit of love keep you stuck, this episode will shatter those barriers and ignite real change. Imagine understanding how your childhood survival parts—shaped by insecure attachment—fuel your current relationships and inner pain, which can come from younger parts. Discover how vulnerable parts develop—like a forgotten child inside—and how they influence your patterns of pulling away, pursuing, or freezing. You’ll see how these hidden parts try to protect you, often without your even realizing it, and how they hold the key to genuine connection. We break down:

• The four attachment styles—dismissive, anxious, fearful, and secure—and the unseen parts behind each.
• How childhood experiences forge protective parts that surface in adult relationships.
• Practical steps to integrate these younger parts with your wise, adult self through biblical truths and self-leadership.
• The role of God's perfect love in healing fears and rewiring survival strategies for lasting security.

This episode isn’t just theory—it’s your pathway back to wholeness. Missing this means staying trapped in hurt, confusion, and relational chaos. Embrace the opportunity to radically shift your inner landscape and rewrite your self-story. Whether your heart aches for safety or you long to lead your parts with compassion, this episode is your call to freedom. Prepare to face yourself honestly, lean into God’s love, and start the journey toward true attachment—because you deserve a love that heals and a life that flourishes. Are you ready to reclaim your inner peace and foster authentic connections? Tune in now and let your wholeness begin today.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict.

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Most of us are walking around unaware of the inner divisions inside our minds—an endless internal committee of identity jobs, protectors, and hidden parts. But what if you could finally understand these parts not as enemies, but as vital pieces of your journey toward wholeness? This episode peels back the layers to reveal the astonishing truth: beneath our defenses lies a core of divine love, waiting to be uncovered. Dive into the fascinating world of parts work— also known as IFS or ego states —and learn how your mind forms these ego subpersonalities to keep you safe when you lacked adult resources. Jess Vangsnes guides us through the journey of recognizing those prickly reactive protectors, tough, hardworking shells, and tender vulnerabilities within, all shaped by childhood wounds and survival instincts. She shares vivid metaphors of burrs, seed coats, and the mighty American chestnut, illustrating how our defenses evolve—and how they can be gently dismantled with curiosity and compassion.

You’ll discover:

• How to identify the inner parts that defend, hide, or hyper-activate, and why they’re actually trying to protect you.
• The profound connection between these parts and the Enneagram types, attachment wounds, and spiritual growth.
• Practical questions to explore your inner landscape—like, when do you feel criticized? Which part is exhausted trying to earn approval? What hidden part of your childhood self fears rejection?
• How to root yourself in God's love, shifting from reaction to response, from fear to freedom.
• The radical truth from scripture and psychology: your true self is already whole, patiently waiting beneath the layers of armor and masks.

If you crave inner peace, authentic self-awareness, and a deeper connection with God—this episode is an invitation to meet yourself with kindness and discover the calm, curious, compassionate self that God has always destined you to be. Perfect for spiritual seekers, therapeutic helpers, and anyone ready to embrace their wholeness.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict. Ready to unlock the wisdom that lives within? Tune in, and begin your journey of inner freedom today.

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus