Get comfortable—this episode will completely shift how you see your inner world. What if your protective parts aren’t just your personality but sophisticated strategies rooted in survival? Discover how each Enneagram type develops unique, necessary parts that shield their deepest wounds—and how understanding these can unlock your true you.

We dive deep into the hidden motivations behind Enneagram numbers 1 through 9. You'll discover how perfectionism, overgiving, achievement, melancholy, detachment, enthusiasm, strength, peacekeeping, and passivity are all sub-personality tactics, designed to keep you safe from feeling controlled, unworthy, unseen, or afraid. But here’s the truth: these strategies may try to keep you safe, but they also keep you stuck. The real breakthrough? Learning how to gently invite your wise true self to rise up and lead your parts.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict.

In this eye-opening episode, you'll explore:

• How your inner protector shields your vulnerable parts—and why that might be sabotaging your growth
• The specific ‘containing codes’ of each Enneagram type that keep pain at bay
• The surprising ways childhood wounds shape your current survival strategies
• Practical tools to shift from unconscious guarding to conscious healing
• How embracing your authentic self can transform relationships, work, and your very sense of worth

If you're tired of feeling trapped by your own defenses—if you’re ready to step into the fullness of who you truly are—this episode is your pivotal moment. The strategies you learn here aren’t just theoretical—they’re life-changing. When you understand the protective parts that have been running the show, you hold the power to finally let your true self flourish.

This isn’t just about self-awareness; it’s about reclaiming your wholeness. Perfect for anyone seeking healing, growth, and genuine authenticity. Are you ready to meet your parts with compassion and unlock the deep well of strength within? Hit play and begin the journey to your most authentic self. Your transformation starts now.

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Unlock the secret to transforming your deepest relational wounds—your attachment style—and finally find the security you’ve been craving. If past hurts, fear of abandonment, or relentless pursuit of love keep you stuck, this episode will shatter those barriers and ignite real change. Imagine understanding how your childhood survival parts—shaped by insecure attachment—fuel your current relationships and inner pain, which can come from younger parts. Discover how vulnerable parts develop—like a forgotten child inside—and how they influence your patterns of pulling away, pursuing, or freezing. You’ll see how these hidden parts try to protect you, often without your even realizing it, and how they hold the key to genuine connection. We break down:

• The four attachment styles—dismissive, anxious, fearful, and secure—and the unseen parts behind each.
• How childhood experiences forge protective parts that surface in adult relationships.
• Practical steps to integrate these younger parts with your wise, adult self through biblical truths and self-leadership.
• The role of God's perfect love in healing fears and rewiring survival strategies for lasting security.

This episode isn’t just theory—it’s your pathway back to wholeness. Missing this means staying trapped in hurt, confusion, and relational chaos. Embrace the opportunity to radically shift your inner landscape and rewrite your self-story. Whether your heart aches for safety or you long to lead your parts with compassion, this episode is your call to freedom. Prepare to face yourself honestly, lean into God’s love, and start the journey toward true attachment—because you deserve a love that heals and a life that flourishes. Are you ready to reclaim your inner peace and foster authentic connections? Tune in now and let your wholeness begin today.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict.

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Most of us are walking around unaware of the inner divisions inside our minds—an endless internal committee of identity jobs, protectors, and hidden parts. But what if you could finally understand these parts not as enemies, but as vital pieces of your journey toward wholeness? This episode peels back the layers to reveal the astonishing truth: beneath our defenses lies a core of divine love, waiting to be uncovered. Dive into the fascinating world of parts work— also known as IFS or ego states —and learn how your mind forms these ego subpersonalities to keep you safe when you lacked adult resources. Jess Vangsnes guides us through the journey of recognizing those prickly reactive protectors, tough, hardworking shells, and tender vulnerabilities within, all shaped by childhood wounds and survival instincts. She shares vivid metaphors of burrs, seed coats, and the mighty American chestnut, illustrating how our defenses evolve—and how they can be gently dismantled with curiosity and compassion.

You’ll discover:

• How to identify the inner parts that defend, hide, or hyper-activate, and why they’re actually trying to protect you.
• The profound connection between these parts and the Enneagram types, attachment wounds, and spiritual growth.
• Practical questions to explore your inner landscape—like, when do you feel criticized? Which part is exhausted trying to earn approval? What hidden part of your childhood self fears rejection?
• How to root yourself in God's love, shifting from reaction to response, from fear to freedom.
• The radical truth from scripture and psychology: your true self is already whole, patiently waiting beneath the layers of armor and masks.

If you crave inner peace, authentic self-awareness, and a deeper connection with God—this episode is an invitation to meet yourself with kindness and discover the calm, curious, compassionate self that God has always destined you to be. Perfect for spiritual seekers, therapeutic helpers, and anyone ready to embrace their wholeness.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict. Ready to unlock the wisdom that lives within? Tune in, and begin your journey of inner freedom today.

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Most of us are living on autopilot, caught in patterns of protection—believing who we are is tied to the masks we wear. But what if true freedom isn't a distant dream, but a simple choice? In this solo episode with Jess, she peels back the layers of the Enneagram, attachment theory, and parts work—showing you how to wake up, notice your patterns, and step into your real self with power and clarity.

This isn’t about complicated systems or labels—it's about turning awareness into action. You'll discover how to pause your reactive tendencies with the STOP method, harness God's unlimited resources for inner strength, and finally move from living in fear to living with intention. She shares the emotional journey of her own discernment, leaning into ministry, daring to become, and embracing the God led invitation to be truly yourself.

She breaks down practical tools to recognize your adaptive masks—whether you’re the fixer, the peacemaker, or the perfectionist—and how to use pattern awareness to break free. Dive into the process of shifting from exhaustion to joy, from surviving to thriving, grounded in God's abundant grace. This episode is essential if you’re tired of autopilot and ready to live with purpose, wholeness, and authentic joy.

Are you ready to step out of automatic/autopilot and into the fullness of who you're meant to be? Join Jess on this powerful journey of transformation—because your real self is waiting to be awakened, loved, and finally set free.

Interested in Shint Eyes Retreat?

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

Being a teenager often feels like operating a complex engine without a manual, leaving both kids and parents overwhelmed by unnamed pressures. In this episode of Transforming Us, Jess and Travis explore how the Enneagram serves as that missing guide, moving beyond mere "types" to the heart of teen self-awareness. We discuss how understanding their unique wiring helps teens trade self-criticism for compassion, allowing them to see their struggles through the lens of a divine design rather than a limiting label.

By sharing stories of how even the youngest family members can develop intuition about others' motivations, we show how this framework builds a bridge from conflict to connection. We’ll break down how to use scriptural truths alongside the Enneagram to anchor a teen’s identity in Christ, helping them navigate the social minefields of high school with grace and clarity. This isn’t just about easier parenting; it’s about equipping the next generation to move through the world with kindness and a deep sense of purpose. Whether your teen is an open book or a locked vault, hit play to discover how to turn the "what is wrong with me?" into "how did God design me to grow?

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Most people associate the Enneagram Six with fear and anxiety — but what if that very fear is a powerful gateway to profound trust and freedom? Rissa Messer, a loyal guardian with a heart for the vulnerable, opens up about her raw, courageous journey from anxiety, grief, and insecurity, to discovering unshakeable security in God's love. In this episode, Rissa shares how her deep love of people and her relentless need for safety impacts her family and her 6-9 pairing in marriage. She vividly describes her ongoing battle with mental chatter, her slow emotional processing, and the ways her faith has become the anchor that holds her steady through life's storms. You'll hear about her practices—like meditating on certainties and intentionally surrendering control—that are transforming her from a restless pursuer of safety to a rooted lover of the present moment in trust. We break down: how the victory over fear comes through dependence on God, not reassurance from people; the power of embracing the mystery of life with curiosity instead of control; and the vital practices that keep her grounded — even amid loss, trauma, and uncertainty. If you're tired of striving, seeking external validation, or feeling haunted by "what ifs," this episode is your invitation to step into freedom—your true, beautiful, and secure identity in Christ. Whether you're navigating grief, anxiety, or simply longing for peace in chaos, Rissa’s vulnerability and insights will inspire you to rest in the unshakeable love of your Creator.This episode is a call to lean into the mystery, and embracing your true belovedness. It’s perfect for anyone craving peace and freedom from the bondage of fear.

To chat with Rissa Email:

[email protected]

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

In this episode, we dive into the vibrant world of the Enneagram 7, exploring how these adventurous spirits find joy and connection in their relationships. We sit down with relationship expert Christa Hardin, MA, who brings over 20 years of experience in clinical psychology and marriage research to the table.

Christa shares insights from her "Glow Theory," explaining the fascinating patterns that emerge when couples' numbers come together. We discuss what happens when a pairing moves into "Glow"—operating from a place of health and connection—versus falling into "Shadow" dynamics. Christa also introduces an exciting new quiz designed for couples to explore their Enneagram types and instincts within the context of marriage. This is a fantastic addition to her best-selling book The Enneagram in Marriage.

Whether she is writing, teaching, coaching, or vacationing with her family, Christa brings a sense of adventure and joy to everything she does. Integrating decades of work in the therapy room with deep Enneagram knowledge, she offers practical, faith-informed tools to help you understand your personality dynamics and build a lasting, meaningful connection.

About Christa Hardin:

Christa Hardin, MA, is a relationship expert and author of the best-selling book, The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing, which details all 45 possible Enneagram pairings. A graduate of Wheaton College, she is the host of the Enneagram & Marriage Podcast—with over one million downloads—and will soon be releasing her second book focusing on the "Three Desires."

Here are the links to connect with Christa Hardin and explore her resources:

• Website: EnneagramandMarriage.com
• Apple Podcast: Enneagram & Marriage Podcast (also available on Spotify and other major platforms)
• Quiz for Couples: QuizForCouples.com
• Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Interested in Shint Eyes Retreat?

Check our Airbnb listings:

• Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)
• Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)
• Shipping Container (sleeps 3)
• Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

In this episode, we explore the intersection of Christian spirituality and the Enneagram with spiritual director Marilyn Vancil. The conversation centers on the transformative journey from the Adapted Self—the version of us shaped by external expectations—to the Authentic Self, our true identity as a reflection of God’s image. Marilyn explains that the Enneagram is not a restrictive label but a powerful tool for inner freedom, helping us move beyond ego-driven patterns and toward a life centered with God.

A significant focus is placed on the Enneagram Nine, specifically their struggle with self-identity and the vital role of emotional awareness. Marilyn highlights how acknowledging suppressed anger is a key catalyst for Nines to reclaim their presence. Through practices like centering prayer, listeners are invited to move beyond surface-level traits into a state of drawing toward the center of the enneagram. This process of recognition and formation allows for a more grounded life where our seeds can shed, then sprout and grow.

The episode explores how these dynamics revolutionize our relationships. By recognizing the "adapted" versions of ourselves and others, we can navigate conflict with greater compassion and empathy. Marilyn outlines the stages of spiritual growth, illustrating how the Enneagram serves as a map for moving through patterns toward an integrated way of being. Whether seeking deeper self-discovery or a closer connection with Christ, this episode offers a roadmap for finding your true, authentic self.

Connect with Marilyn: www.marilynvancil.com

Her books: Self to Lose Self to Find & Beyond the Enneagram

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

YouTube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Have you ever felt like your worth is entirely tied to your last big win or how well you’re "performing" for the people around you? In this episode of Transforming Us, Jess sits down with the incredible Reverend Clare Loughrige to tackle that exact tension. For many of us—especially those who identify with the Enneagram Three—identity can easily get tangled up in what we do rather than who we are. Clare introduces us to the Enneagram Harmony Triad, a powerful tool that helps us move out of that trap by balancing our head, heart, and gut intelligence. This is Enneagram Harmony and integration.

But how do we actually heal those deep-seated patterns that make us feel like we have to perform? Jess and Clare dive into the world of Attachment Theory and the wisdom of St. Ignatius to find wisdom. By approaching our past with compassion and curiosity, we can begin to see the Enneagram not just as a personality test, but as a sacred map for relational healing and soul-care.

What if the most productive thing you could do for your spiritual life was actually to stop working? It sounds counterintuitive, but Clare argues that the radical practice of the Sabbath is the ultimate antidote to the pressure of constant productivity that a 3 feels. We wrap up the conversation by exploring how rest acts as a vital spiritual discipline for remembering who we truly are apart from our enneagram “edge” as she calls our false self patterns..

About Our Guest: Rev. Clare Loughrige, MMin, is an author, IEA Accredited Enneagram professional, and Founder of Crossroads Soul Resources School of Spiritual Direction. A contemplative-activist and Lead Pastor since 1991, she integrates spiritual rhythms and justice advocacy to help leaders move toward interior freedom and their God-given design.

Websites

https://clareloughrige.com

https://ccmonline.org

Enneagram certification

https://scottandclareloughrige.org/enneagram-certification/

Spiritual Direction School

https://scottandclareloughrige.org/school-of-spiritual-direction-2/

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Today, Jess interviews Katy Beckham. She is a GIS Analyst, biologist, and certified Enneagram coach with two decades of experience. She hosts the We Are All Human Podcast and writes on Substack under the tag We Are All Human, focusing on the intersection of story, faith, and personal growth. Based in South Carolina, Katy is a wife and mother of three who is deeply dedicated to connecting with others through storytelling.

We discuss how Enneagram 5s can move from "detached observation" to active participation in life. In this episode, Katy shares her journey of navigating the world through the lens of Type 5 Patterns. We explore the 5’s core fear of depletion and how resource management impacts high-demand seasons of motherhood and marriage. Katy offers a raw look at the Withdrawn Stance, providing strategies for remaining emotionally available for family while protecting the essential inner castle.

We dive into Enneagram relationship patterns and attachment styles, discussing how her disorganized attachment has become secure in marriage, while building emotional security with her kids. We break down the Type 5 stress and growth arrows, learn how nature growth for a 5 is embodiment through nature and exercise helps Head Types bridge the gap between intellect and emotion, shifting from a posture of "avarice" to a trust in God’s presence. You don’t want to miss this episode packed with wisdom from Katy.

Connect with Kay Beckham:

1. Instagram https://www.instagram.com/weareallhumanpodcast/
2. Substack (Podcast & Writing) https://substack.com/@weareallhumanpodcast
3. Watch the We Are All Human Podcast: YouTube http://www.youtube.com/@weareallhumanpodcast
4. Listen to the We Are All Human Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-are-all-human/id1495864942

Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect.

Youtube: @transformingus

Instagram: @transformingus

Facebook: @transformingus

Mentioned in this episode:

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