*General instinct knowledge @ 16 min
*Self-pres 3 starts @ 26 min

In this episode, we talk about the self-pres 3 (aka "Vanity No Vanity") and explore how they deny their passion of vanity (in a fixated state of mind).

In our typical style, we kick the episode off with a personal catch-up and some banter.  

We apologize ahead of time for the audio situation.

• In the intro, we talk about what we’ve been up to
• Review and refresher of all the instincts and levels of health in the instincts
• SP 3s can look like 1s
• Tara talks about her personal experiences with SP3
• Compare the sexual/social/SP instinct’s relationship to vanity
• SP3 motivations and fixations
• Enneagram 3 anxiety and how it shows up from their over-identification with roles
• Celebrity examples of 3s - mostly of the reality trash TV variety
• Ideas for being less fixated

Resources we used and may have mentioned for this episode:

EnneagramMonthly.com, Beatrice Chestnut - The Complete Enneagram, Sandra Maitri - The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram, Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-discovery, A variety of books on the Enneagram by Russ Hudson, Oscar Ichazo 

THE PODCAST IS BACK. Thank you so much for your patience with our break. 

Intro: Music by Rujay
Instrumental: "Next Level" by SeriouzBeats
Channel: https://YouTube.com/user/RujayTV

Here’s what we talked about in today’s return episode:

• Thank you for supporting us on Patreon while we were away, it helped us cover our online subscriptions and keep the podcast online
• We are going through all of your emails, please keep sending more, we want to connect in these weird pandemic times
• Life update: Tara had a baby and she can’t type him, she got married and moved in with her husband (1w2 sx), moved twice after discovering cockroaches, got scammed and had a period of postpartum depression
• Life update: Marissa got hit by a car and tore her ACL, got kicked out of her apartment by her landlord, moved back home, went through a miscarriage, was put in a new position at work, 
• Discussion about Chris Heuertz and a blog post that was written by 33 women and men who shared their stories of experiencing and witnessing abuse by him (Starts around 39-minute mark). *See our website for links to everything - enneagramforidiots.com
• We talk about:
• • How we found out about this
  • How we know Chris (Correction: Chris didn’t say that the IEA almost didn’t pay him, he said, as confirmed by email, “They really under paid me for the keynote and none of the 40+ workshop presenters got paid for their breakout sessions.”)
  • The details of the blog post outlining how Chris has harmed many people (53 minutes in)
  • Chris’s response and our issues with it
  • Gravity Centre’s investigation and summary of findings and its conflicts of interest
  • Our thoughts about all of this

Correction: in this episode, we often say 33 women and men came forward saying they were abused by Chris. The blog post says that the 33 women and men were both abused and witnessed abuse.

Intro/Outro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0pVXEBA3PU&list=RD--YiHE-06Rw&index=22 (pilgrim)

Today we’re talking about Self-Preservation dominant 8s aka NOT Marissa but Donald Trump. Also known by Enneagram resources as the "Survivalist". In this episode we cover:

• How Marissa isn’t self-preservation dominant and Tara’s mind is blown, then we explore how the social (Maris) and sexual (Tara) instincts show up in our lives

• What a self-preservation dominant 8 may look like and behave

• How this type may be more angry and confrontational than the other instinctual variants of the 8

• Famous 8w7 examples (Donald Trump / Gene Simmons) and famous 8w9 examples (Liam Neeson / Morgan Freeman / Susan Sarandon)

• What it may be like to work with a self-pres 8

• How self-pres 8s might challenge people to be equals more than the other instinctual variants of the 8

• The unhealthy and average range of a self-pres dominant 8

Also sorry 5s, the audio got cut in the beginning so a portion of your recap from the previous episode just wasn’t meant to be covered. Love you.

Questions

• If you’re a self-pres 8 what is crying like for you? Or if you know a self-pres 8, do they cry often/rarely/ever? What’s that like?

• Self-pres 8s: do you call in sick?

• How does this instinctual variant soften themselves?

Resources: Self-reported people talking on Reddit, Wisdom of the Enneagram, Some quotables from Beatrice Chestnut and Russ Hudson, Enneagram Institute message boards, Excerpts from Claudio Naranjo, Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram, our brains and lives

Intro / Outro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVLBaNQjQro

Today we’re starting a brand new series on the INSTINCTS. Ahhhhh this is going to be SO EXCITING.

In this episode, we kick it off with an introduction the instincts. We cover:

• what the instincts are (i.e. biological survival drives)

• language around describing instincts (variants and drives vs. using the word ‘subtype’)

• a breakdown of each instinct (self-preservation, sexual and social)

• why sexual does not mean one-on-one relationships

• what instinct stackings are or ‘sequences’

• how being neurotic or ‘unhealthy’ shows up in instinct land

• 8s and mob bosses - is Tony Soprano a sexual 8?

Resources and additional learning:

Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (there’s a small section on instincts at the end), The Shift Network audio download on instincts with Russ Hudson, https://beatricechestnut.com/blog/

Intro/Outro: J Roes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfWAxIk4xDw

Today we’re wrapping up our compatibility series with the holy trinity - types 3 + 6 and types 6 + 9. Skip to 9:55 minutes to start the episode.

In this episode we talk about:

• What it’s like to be with a 3, 6 and 9

• We analyze a relationship thread on Reddit between a 6 + 9 that has gone from monogamous to polyamorous and are now sleeping in separate beds

• A Redditor says he’s heard 9s are cheaters

• Marissa shares intimacy tips from the internet

• Vulnerability in 3, 4 and 8 relationships

Enneagram study on compatibility: https://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_relationships.php

Resources for today’s episode: Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships (most titles of our relationship series are based on Helen Palmer’s titles of the couplings), Enneagram Institute, REDDIT, Drdaviddaniels.com

Enneagram conflict resolution styles: http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/conflict.html

Today we’re continuing our compatibility series with type 5 and 2 aka Albert Einstein and Dolly Parton. If you want to start where we actually talk about the Enneagram, fast forward to 19 minutes in. In this episode we talk about:

• What it’s like to live with 5s and 2s and be in relationships with them

• What attracts these two to each other

• Some people on the internet talking about their 5 and 2 relationship experience

• Challenging areas for the coupling and possible ways to catch each other in stress and work well together

• Avarice and rejection

Note: we apologize if the mic sounds are imbalanced between us, we’re looking into updating our mics over the next month so that our voices sound more equal

Enneagram study on compatibility: https://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_relationships.php

Resources for today’s episode: Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships (most titles of our relationship series are based on Helen Palmer’s titles of the couplings), Enneagram Institute, REDDIT, human beings, Drdaviddaniels.com

Enneagram conflict resolution styles: http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/conflict.html

Intro/Outro: J Roes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN2TVpsIo34

Intro/Outro: Bounce Back Remix by the Google Translate Lady (Background Hero)

Today we’re continuing our compatibility series with type 8 and 7 aka Cardi B and Offset, Sharon and Ozzy, Olivia Pope and Fitz (fight us if you disagree on that typing). The couple that’s arguing, doing something amazing or never talking.

In this episode we talk about:

• What it’s like to live with 7s and 8s

• What attracts 8s and 7s to each other

• How wings might influence a relationship

• What happens when they meet at 5

• We ponder how and why this couple has sex

• The addictive aspects of 8s and 7s

• What to acknowledge about yourself in these relationships

• Another rant on the Kardashians for good measure

The study we refer to in the episode (we don’t actually have this resource in past relationship show notes): https://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_relationships.php

Resources for today’s episode: Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships, Enneagram Institute, REDDIT, Drdaviddaniels.com

Enneagram conflict resolution styles: http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/conflict.html

Today we start a new series on relationships! We’re going to explore how some types work together in romantic relationships. Also as a side note, if two people are self-aware it doesn't matter WHAT their type is. Moving on...

In this episode we talk about:

• What an 8 in love and a 2 in love look like

• What it’s like to live with an 8 and a 2

• Maris’ shares her experience as an 8w9 married to a 2w3 and also shares a personal life experience she’s gone through recently

• A few reality TV examples of 8s + 2s together

Resources: Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships, The Enneagram Institute Relationship Type Combinations

Today’s disclaimer: we are sorry if you hear chewing, we attempted to be sneaky and get away with a few treats on this episode and the mic caught some of it. Never AGAIN

You’re just our type (even if you don’t know your type)

Today is part 1 of 2 on mistyping aka how do you type yourself? This episode is pretty general on typing, we start diving into specific types towards the end (around 1:05 mark). The next episode will be on common mistypes and questions.

In this episode we cover:

- An overview of the 3 centres of intelligence and how to use them as a guide
- How to NOT type yourself
- Why running into a fire doesn’t mean you’re an 8
- HONESTY VS. LYING when typing
- Two good (classic) books for beginners; Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery and The Wisdom of the Enneagram
- Creating a safe space for others to discover their type and finding safe spaces to discover more about your type (around the 1-hour mark)
- A message board poster thinks they might be a 5, 9, 2 or a 1
- We get HEATED like you get HEATED comparing common traits in the aggressive types 3, 7, 8 (revisiting R Kelly, Trump, Cardi B and a new case study of a 3; Rachel Dolezal)

Resources we learned things from for this episode and recommended continued learning:

Facets of Unity: The Enneagram of Holy Ideas, Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery, The Widsom of the Enneagram, EnneagramInstitute.com, Rob Fitzel (the centres and different triads we talk about), Higher Reality Therapy: Nine Pathways to Inner Peace

In this wildcard episode we talk about:

- The Surviving R Kelly documentary
- Billy McFarland and the trashfire that is the Fyre Festival
- The Fyre Fraud documentary on Netflix and the Fyre documentary on Hulu

We explore how deeply neurotic Billy McFarland and R Kelly are and try to make sense of their predatorial and exploitative behaviour with the Enneagram. SPOILER ALERT we mostly talk about neurotic 7 behaviours and a little bit about neurotic 3 behaviours.

The main resource we used for this episode is Claudio Naranjo, Character and Neurosis: An Integrative View and our own brains and life experience. This isn’t a scholarly article it’s a banter podcast.

*We talk about some pretty heavy themes in this episode so if you’ve experienced trauma this is a trigger warning.

Also, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO WENT TO THE FYRE FESTIVAL OR YOU DID PLEASE EMAIL US ALL THE DETAILS

Also here is a link to the Fyre Festival's slice of sadness sandwich