Most of us assume that if we understand ourselves, change will naturally follow. But that's rarely how growth works.

You can know your Enneagram type, recognize your patterns, understand your childhood experiences, and still find yourself reacting the same way in your relationships.

Why?

Because self-awareness is only the beginning.

In this conversation, I sit down with emotional intelligence coach and author Scott Allender to explore the intersection of the Enneagram, emotional intelligence, and emotional healing. Together we discuss why personality isn't the destination—it's the doorway.

You'll discover why awareness alone doesn't create transformation, how our bodies and emotions shape the way we experience the world, and why curiosity is one of the most important tools for lasting growth.

Reflection Questions

• What pattern do you notice yourself repeating most often?
• What might that pattern have originally been trying to protect?
• What story have you been believing about yourself?
• Where do you notice emotions showing up in your body?
• What would change if you responded to yourself with curiosity instead of judgment?

If this conversation encouraged you, share it with someone who is ready to move beyond simply knowing themselves and begin experiencing real transformation.

Be sure to subscribe to Enneagram with JB for weekly conversations that integrate the Enneagram, psychology, emotional health, and faith to help you understand yourself, strengthen your relationships, and continue the lifelong journey of becoming who you were created to be.

Most of us were never actually taught how to apologize.

We learned by watching the adults around us, and for many of us, conflict was either avoided altogether or escalated without meaningful repair. So it's no wonder so many of us enter adulthood, marriage, parenting, and friendships without knowing how to repair after we've hurt someone.

In this episode, Courtney and I have an honest conversation about conflict, emotional regulation, childhood patterns, and why healthy relationships aren't built on perfection; they're built on repair.

You'll learn why apologies often fall flat, what gets in the way of genuine connection, and five practical steps that can help you rebuild trust after conflict.

If this conversation encouraged you, share it with someone you love. You never know who needs permission to believe that relationships don't require perfection—they require people who are willing to repair.

Most of us were taught what to do with our thoughts. Few of us were taught what to do with our emotions.

In this episode, Courtney Bareman and I explore why certain emotions feel uncomfortable, overwhelming, or even inaccessible. Together, we'll unpack how family systems, personality patterns, and protective strategies shape our relationship with emotions and why avoiding what we feel often creates more suffering than feeling it.

You'll learn:

• Why many of us were never taught how to safely experience difficult emotions
• How personality influences the emotions we struggle to access
• Why unprocessed emotions often show up in our relationships, behaviors, and nervous systems
• Practical ways to increase emotional awareness without becoming overwhelmed

Whether you're new to the Enneagram or have been doing personal growth work for years, this conversation offers practical insights to help you move from automatic patterns toward greater awareness, freedom, and connection.

Because healing doesn't begin when we stop feeling. It begins when we become willing to feel what is already there.

Connect with Jackie: Instagram | Website
Connect with Courtney: Instagram | Website

Interested in coaching? Learn more about one-on-one coaching and Enneagram-informed personal growth work at ennegramwithjb.com.

If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.

What happens when life doesn’t go according to plan, but somehow still becomes exactly what it needed to be?

In this deeply personal episode, I sit down with my husband, Stephen Brewster, to talk about becoming — not through a straight line, but through risk, pivots, disappointment, growth, counseling, faith and learning to trust the next step before you can see the whole picture.

Stephen shares his journey from the music industry, to church leadership, and eventually into artist management in his early 40s. We reflect on marriage, frequent moves, starting over, learning through counseling, understanding personality patterns through the Enneagram and the tension between safety and risk.

This conversation is honest, grounding, and full of wisdom for anyone who feels like they’re behind, stuck or questioning whether it’s too late to step into something new.

Follow along for more conversations around the Enneagram, nervous system awareness, growth, relationships, and becoming who you were created to be:

On the web | On Instagram

What does it actually look like to become yourself?

In this conversation, I sit down with Enneagram educator and author Abbey Howe to explore the real, often messy process of growth.

From building a platform through storytelling and humor, to navigating identity shifts in motherhood, to learning how to move from awareness into real transformation, this episode goes deeper than surface-level Enneagram insight.

Abbey shares openly about her journey as an Enneagram 3, including the tension between productivity and presence, the identity loss that can come with major life transitions, and the work of redefining worth beyond performance.

We also talk about her new book, My Enneagram: A Visual Guide to Find Your Personality Type, Stress Less, and Live Your Dreams.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your patterns, overwhelmed by a life transition, or unsure how to actually apply what you know about yourself—this conversation is for you.

Jackie: On the web | On Instagram

Abbey: On the web | On Instagram | On TikTok

This is part two of a two-part conversation with licensed mental health counselor Rob Goetsch.

This episode explores a different kind of stress; the kind that comes from your relationships, not just your to-do list. This is attachment stress, and it activates your nervous system quickly, making your Enneagram patterns feel louder, faster, and harder to shift. 

When stress hits, your body responds almost instantly, and it can stay activated long after the moment has passed, especially if your mind keeps replaying it. Defense mechanisms kick in during in these moments, not as flaws, but as protective strategies aimed at helping you cope and guard what matters most.

Awareness won’t immediately change these responses, but it does create space to understand them. And real change starts with regulation, supporting your body so your patterns can soften, instead of tightening, under pressure.

Jackie: On the web | On Instagram

Rob: On Instagram

This is part one of a two-part conversation with licensed mental health counselor Rob Goetsch.

This episode explores a different kind of stress; the kind that comes from your relationships, not just your to-do list. This is attachment stress, and it activates your nervous system quickly, making your Enneagram patterns feel louder, faster, and harder to shift. 

When stress hits, your body responds almost instantly, and it can stay activated long after the moment has passed, especially if your mind keeps replaying it. Defense mechanisms kick in during in these moments, not as flaws, but as protective strategies aimed at helping you cope and guard what matters most.

Awareness won’t immediately change these responses, but it does create space to understand them. And real change starts with regulation, supporting your body so your patterns can soften, instead of tightening, under pressure.

Jackie: On the web | On Instagram

Jackie: On the web | On Instagram // Courtney: On the web | On Instagram

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Courtney to have an honest, unfiltered conversation about what it really looks like to let go of control and begin allowing yourself to be seen.

Courtney is an Enneagram 8—strong, decisive, and deeply protective. But like so many 8s, that strength didn’t come out of nowhere. It was built over time as a way to stay safe, stay ahead, and avoid being hurt.

What we explore in this conversation is what happens when that strength stops working the same way it used to.

This isn’t a polished story of arrival. It’s a real-time look at becoming.

This episode gently explores the shift from:

• Self-protection → Connection
• Control → Trust
• Armor → Access

Not by forcing change… but by increasing awareness.

Even if you’re not an Enneagram 8, this conversation will likely hit somewhere personal. Because at the core, this isn’t just about type—it’s about the human experience of protecting yourself, staying guarded, and slowly learning it might be safe to let someone in

You don’t have to force yourself to change. But you can begin to notice. And sometimes, that awareness is the very thing that starts to shift everything.

You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

In this episode, I'm sharing a personal and honest look at what it means to let go of patterns that once served a purpose, but are now holding you back.

Through the lens of the Enneagram and lifespan development, this conversation explores how our identities are shaped over time through protection, adaptation, and meaning-making. What once helped us feel safe, loved, or accepted can quietly become the very thing that limits our growth.

I'm opening up about my own experience of reaching a breaking point at 40—realizing I had unintentionally placed myself on a shelf—and the emotional process of taking responsibility, grieving what was lost, and stepping into a more aligned life.

This episode is not about fixing yourself. It’s about recognizing what no longer serves you… and beginning, gently, to let it go.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How personality patterns are formed across the lifespan
• Why letting go often feels disorienting, not freeing
• The connection between protection, identity, and the Enneagram
• What it looks like to take responsibility for your own becoming
• A reflective invitation to help you identify where you may be holding yourself back

This episode also introduces a new series featuring real conversations with different Enneagram types as they share their own process of letting go and becoming.

Jackie: On the web | On Instagram

In this deeply personal and powerful conversation, Jackie sits down with Ro Elliot to explore a journey of healing, identity, and transformation that didn’t fully begin until age 58.

Ro is an Enneagram coach passionate about helping women—especially in midlife transitions—rediscover who they are beyond the roles they’ve carried. 

Ro shares her story of growing up with deep insecurity, navigating disorganized attachment, walking through chronic illness, and discovering the Enneagram later in life. Together, Jackie and Ro unpack how attachment, faith, and inner work intersect—and why it is never too late to come home to yourself.

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’ve lived most of their life for others… and are just now beginning to ask, “Who am I?”

If you feel like you’ve spent years showing up for everyone else…
this episode is your invitation to gently turn toward yourself.

Nothing about you is too late.
Nothing about your story is wasted.

You are still becoming.

Jackie: On the web | On Instagram

Ro: On the web | On Instagram