[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

555>>>return to sender <<<<<<< 420 >>>>>>return to sender<<<<<<< coughs>>>>>return to sender<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>petite women >< reverse>< demon spell >< reverse>< unrest/disorganization spell>< reverse>>>return to sender>>>return to sender>>>>>all negative spirits, evil energy, bad energy return to sender>>> 5555>>>420>>>>return to sender>>>>Reverse/ sever all bonds>>>>>>bind/banish>>>relinquish all bonds>>>sever all ties>>>>>555>>>>420>>>>return to sender

*heal*

*protection*

*peace*

*love*

*light*

careful of mirrors

Round three?! How is thiis round three?!

CAUSE IT IS.

ARRR.

GUHHH

*EATING SLIM JIM REAL GNARLY*

What happened to rounds 1 & 2.

I DUNNO.

F I G H T.

Okay, Beyoncè. Wait right here. I'll be right back.

…

Beyoncè don't wait.

“Beyoncè Don't Wait”

Yo! Where's Beyoncè

I don't know! I

You don't know?!

I told her to sit right here and i'd be right back.

YOu TolD heR to “SIT & WAIT?”

Well, I told her to wait–

WHY WOULD YOU IMMACULATE HER LIKE THAT.

“Immasculate. “her”? “

BEYONCE DON'T WAIT.

Come on. Wake up.

Dude, what are you doing?

It's training season.

Training for what.

Wake uppp.

Nerr. Me sleeping.

Wake up–deadmau5.

…deadmau5?

*throws toy*

*Hits floor, runs after toy like dog*

Dude.

Oh, i know.

[On a wild goose chase through the infinite multiverse, the bampheramphs are collecting their cringiest alter-egos and parallel selves in order to trace the

What are they looking for again.

Well, it's Skrillex, but.

Is there another word for this.

No. there are no synonyms for Skrillex.

It's–not even in the dictionary.

Oh, it is.

Is it?

Yes.

I own every encyclopedia known to man.

Why.

Because I'm rich.

Ok.

–and full of knowledge.

…

…

Sunni.

What.

Where are you going to put all these?

In the library?

YOu have a library?

No, I bought a library.

*hangs head*

*nods pridefully*,* hits vape.*

Ugh. I

I hate you,

And your two dogs ,

Your pretty little girlfriend

You green lawn

And the white picket fence

that hold it all in

No offense

But i gotta get over you

Somehow

I wanna do dumb shit like play couples tennis

and host dinner parties.

I don't even know where we are right now.

I'M SO DRUNK.

I've got all the reason in the world

To not keep my eyes on you

But my mind's on you

Watch my eyeballs roll to the back of my head

THOSE ARE MY BALLS.

stop talking.

THOSE ARE MY–BALLS.

Sunni, don't do that.

I'M AN ICON.

KANYE WEST and SUNNI BLU are arguably the most obnoxious thing in Hollywood.

Oh my God.

I need a jealous and possessive man,

I shouldn't have to tell you that

Or ask,

In fact, I'd rather have you

Heavy handed, and

Standing over me.

Who is that?

That's C'cxell Soleil.

She told you her name?!

She sold you at an auction?!

Uh huh.

Oh, wow.

THE CELEBRITIES ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

This is for our entertainment.

THE GODS ARE EVEN WORSE.

–AHAHAHA!

God,

what a wonderful dress

I've got an eye for fashion,

Especially if it has my name on it,

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

I'm just saying;

If you beat your wide to a pull in front of your kids

And then literally kidnap the child you share to keep him away from her,

Then refuse to pay off the eviction on the apartment you lost because you beat her senseless in it,

THEN decide you deserve 25% of her income

You're a little pussy ass bitch..

I'm just saying

don't beat your wife, steal the kid

And then file for child support

—What a fucking Pussy.

I don't care what God you believe in

Even atheists get that kind of karma paid in full

Up front

Careful laying curses at your own doorstep

Careful what you say, fake shaman

You just might get it back

Careful who you lay with

And the games you play with heads

Cause bass will roll

It's getting old so

Burn in hell

With your regrets

I said

Amen

420 Starr Michael Roberts 555

You write and carve curses

I reverse them

Your sprite is my highest

My eye the divine

Fine,

Here's your time

—now nobody knows my name.

Now I lay with shapeshifters and hate you every day.

Now I'd rather be away from you

Than have the fame

Anyway,

As I prophesized,

Every time I cry

It digs a deeper grave for you

Not even the baby I gave you could save you

I already forgave you

But I forgot the words to say

—that slays you

Now I'm sick

So sick I can barely get to Hell's Kitchen

Where the devil is

Reminding me I'm irrelevant

Even the villain

Okay then

I guess I'll lighten to the coughs

And eat my cake then

Turns out everything you did and said

Ends in your detriment

Seems that I had woken up from the dead

And now I'm dead again

Everybody's lighting me up

So now I'm red again

And I'll keep playing these drums

Until I'm fred again..

you dumb fucking

but sucking knuckle busting motherfucker

I'm coming for ya

Tell your dad's lawyers to buckle up

Cause The ride's bumpy

—you never loved me.

2/3

Good luck getting sober

Every day you're getting older and lonelier

The only hope you'll ever know is someone younger

Who doesn't know how slow you are l

Your favorite show is Naruto,

And in you're mind you're only 12 years old

I'd be feeling bad for you

But your karma is hardly over

Till you're homeless

With nowhere to go for a shower

The only power you have is

What I gave you

And these words are reciprocating

How what you put out in the world

Is what you get back; mi'm a talented rapper

And you're a fat sack of shit

With a sack of sticks and seeds

Greedy as it gets—

Half a white supremacist,

But the other half is where it all comes back at you

You're just a tool, fool

Never a champion

You fat ass

You ain't shit,

But a pedophile wifebeater

Addicted to kids with titties

Hot pockets and

All out of options

Just a nigger by standard definition:

Lazy as it gets

I ain't superstitious,

But sent all his demonds back at him

Imm the last attractive ass he'll ever get

Oh, I forgot

That was not me

His wife killed herself

After he hit her

Fuck Starr.

Now I know what curse words are,

Just keep coughing

Not gonna stop still you're in a coffin

But who's gonna buy it, I wonder?

The price might be skyrocketed for an

Extra extra large

Like the price of my apartment is

In the city I live, which

You've never been to

(But you wish)

Imm off in three stops

Wobbling trying to acknowledge all my options

Want to polish my knowledge in college but

Can't afford to go back,

Damn, I need a bathroom stat

A distraction to write raps,

With stomach cramps and a full bladder,

Can't stand it—

No cats allowed in this apartment,

But honestly,

Less responsibility's probably

More beneficial to me than

Anchoring myself to a place

That's more likely to be an Air bnb

While I'm on tour preforming

Here comes Dorothy,

Of course, if I had a body like her's I'd be adorable

Instead I'm just a horrible force of war,

My arms are swollen,

But I don't know,

I hate cardio

One more stop, I've got to —

Of course, the trains stopped in the station,

I'm caught wondering if there's gonna be an announcement about it

And if I should start recording l

But never stopped in the first place, I'm going crazy,

Automatically push the red button

As soon as the conductor starts talking

I'm crossing my legs like this is nonsense

I gotta

Finally, moving forward

I hope there a Starbucks or something

I love coffee in the morning but not on a long commute so I'm usually dehydrated and irritating my roommate all night

Just stocking up on electrolytes at midnight

StreetEasy isn't just an app, it's a game.

Half of the listings are fake, or scams—

—but it's a useful tool to see what kind of competition you have.

Narrow down what you're looking for—

Specify your tastes and preferences..

I swear I made this whole place up on my way here.

You promise.

It's got bagelsz

What exactly is she looking for in an apartment.

If I see a housing project within proximity or too many black people around, I'm leaving.

That's racist.

It's called “preference”

Ask Dillon Francis

Or Skrillex

I'm not racist!

It's just a preference!!

IRT

Put it on

Spin cycle baby,

That's right, I've got machines

Your clothes need washing

Come do laundry

Imm

One of a kind

You're one of a kind

,

That's right

Open me up

Bring me my kingdom come

When the walls down found

I'll be holding you, always

In the ark of your arms

Will you hold me

When the walls fall down

After

I won't contest that,

I need it

(When you creep into my dreams,

When I'm sleeping)

Heartbreak,

I'm bleeding

I won't contest that

You need me

(Even when you hold me close,

You know you're going under

Surreal

Concentric,

Karma central,

Mama Sutra,

Sentimental,

Tantric,

Esoteric

Differential

Chemistry

Alchemical,

Severence

Hypothetical

Irrelevance

Revelry, or

Consequences, considering the circumstances

Backwards, or what have you.

All men have alterior motives

All mentors or motivators

Contain untarnished reputations

Irrefutably—

Signal, the overused—

(Or group them all together)

Haven't you suffered enough, yet?

I think I've suffered the longest—

Have you been left in the dark yet?

Is it you, who never goes hungry

Aha,

There you are again

Curiosity killed the cat.

However, as it were—

Curiosity also m greatly enhanced the cat's ability to succeed in business.

So there you have it—one man's trash is another man's treasure.

I had recently trained myself out of the habit of picking things up off of the ground—save for a 64 Gigabyte SD card I had just so happened by a few weeks prior, in the same station where I found this— what appeared to be a very nice, sleek and modern briefcase, or portfolio of some sort. I couldn't help but pick it up and open it, and though I typically had specifically never wanted or needed other people's things, this almost seemed already to be mine, not to mention the fact that it was in the same station in which I had found the SD card, only feet away in fact—and it had been long since, it at all, that I had not believed in coincidences. I kicked it around a couple times, almost certain that I was supposed to—and it appeared to be empty—then, I picked it up, as I a voice down the platform even seemed to say “don't touch it@, and I very briefly put it down at the power station or something rather, before confronting my senses—I was sure that if I hadn't picked it up, someone else would, but also that I was intended toX anyway—that it was for me— and though I had let down much of my over aggrandized grandiosity or any sort of complex it did seem t times that I had some sort of following, or watchers—who seemed to put things into my path or just so happen to turn up where I would be, even if I hadn't known my very self that I would be in a certain place, almost assuring and asserting that somewhere along the line; in my lifetime, time travel beyond simply the astral had been succeeded—and perhaps even within my own belief system had it been possible at all. I did, after all, very decisively believe in magic and or magick, and, has recently more than before had committed myself almost religiously to the occult sciences, which, reflectively, I had been studying and perfecting for years, only of course to realize that there had been entire books written, entire civilizations built, and entire worlds of the type of magic I had practitioned naturally since the dawn of time—and though as I began to rationalize and even condition myself to be more normalized and mature in the way that society expected me to, I had become a firm believer and practitioner by proxy, only wishing to overcome and alleviate the severity of my own emotional toils—the loss of my children, the destruction of my marriage, and the ending of my closest friendships—unrequited love, homelessness, and the eventual body transformation which would in turn allow the development in an intrinsic sensitivity to trust one's universe—that so long as I was doing right to my body, my body would return the favor by assuring that in some how, some way, I would always have everything I needed, in one way or another. I had made it a point to be at the gym every day, for at least some time, if not an hour—and had finally broken the challenge I had set for myself quite by accident—the 8-minute mile, which I had achieved in the Bronx, once, running to Lin Manuel's opening number, the self titled In The Heights—a personal best whuch I had since broken, now running a mike in just over 8 minutes to my own mixes, and it didn't seem to matter which. But it wasn't enough—I wanted to be better—to run faster—to be better. I was motivated, of course, mostly by sex—and my insatiable need for it. Insatiable, of course, in the sense that I had been celibate going on years at this point—and had reached a tipping point in understanding the true nature of man—hardly ever meant to be monogamous; I intended to somehow remarry, and was certain that the more effort I put into self improvement, that perhaps I would—not that I expected a perfect man, but did intend a perfect father for my future children; I knew that my strong desires for a certain type of man could only be attributed to that of my own genetic attractions—as so say, that somewhere in my own consciousness, I knew and understood the type of children I wanted to design—even rather, the kind of children I knew I was capable of having—and truly intended my self improvement to design myself to be the ideal mate of my own.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Madonna wants to be a movie star, huh

Well I just want to be Madonna

Maybe we could help each other out, huh

Maybe that's why God's been calling out

Madonna, Madonna

You want it, i got it

Just call up the number

She's listed as

“A Nobody”

So far, so

I hope you know the code

The extension is 666

If you get disconnected

Just call back

And your call will be answered

In the order it was

Received

Kaskade made two of my favorite songs of all time ever.

One at the very begginning of his career…

And one well—-

SEATTLE WASHINGTON, 2021

Wherever he was a couple years ago.

Who knows, man.

Fucking time travelers.

Present day.

JAMAICA, QUEENS, NEW YORK.

Vs.

Add more weight.

DUFF VS ***

WHAT, I have to fight MYSELF.

You've been fighting yourself the whole time!

Shut the fuck up, Kaskade!

Language.

Shove it!

*eats popcorn obnoxiously*

Ugh.

Fuck me, man.

Whatever. I'm in the winners circle.

SAD NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON.

Woah: uh oh. What happened.

Still a genius.

SAD NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON has no formal education.

Oh no.

However,

He sees multitudes of equations as synergetic values swirling in his mind as he rides the bus , appearing to be in a mindless daze, however, still a genius, trapped in the confines of his own mind, stuck at a dead-end job.

Oh no.

That is bad.

Sup Neil deGrasse Tyson!

*bully smacks pizza to the ground*

Ugh.

Sucks to suck. Laaaagh!

Ugh.

*sighs deeply, attempts to pick up pizza*

Birds swarm the pizza, and a passerby steps on it*

This brings a single, aolitary tear to his eye.

Suddenly, the hunger struck me.

MEANWHILE, at the eye of NOWHERE, whereas in the multiverse Jamaica, Queens resides—AT BLINK FITNESS.

Father said, Skrillex (Mixed—Have a seat)

[Blū fails to raise the bench press]

V.O.

Or maybe it was the Skrillex.

***

Help. Please help.

THE GODS

Lol.

[a group of men rush to blu's aide—the entire gym, all men besides the workers, erupt into laughter.

“The Games of The Gods”

Do you ever finish these episodes?

Nope.

Meanwhile, Dillon Francis is the biggest dick ever.

Ahem.

I said IS, not HAS.

You don't know me.

Shut up, Mrs.pancakes.

That joke is so 2013.

I told you, already—-

PICKLE RICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*falling*

Hey look, a pickle.

Oh.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

You know what! I like you!

Oh! That sucks!

Can you not say things like that?!

Things like what?! Things like me?! I thought you liked me!

I do—just—

What?! What Dillon Francis?!

Try to remember this is all just a dream.

A what?! Fuck you!

I'm going to count backwards from three—

Backwards for what?

Three

What

Two

What the fuck?

-One.

Lightning strikes— he claps his hands in time with the thunderclap—Sunni Blu immediately falls asleep—he watches them with a meniacal look in his eye, whispering into their ear, snapping one time—

DILLON FRANCIS

I'm going to count to three: when I clap my hands you'll wake up from this dream and into another—this world is my world— and in my world, from now on, whenever you hear the sound of a clap, you will remember who you are; and you will remember the sound of my voice.

[He claps—Sunni Blū remains asleep in this reality—but suddenly, in a cross-dimensional parallel, CC wakes up in bed, holding instead of a handgun, a banana—startled and still appearing to be soaking wet, though drenched in sweat rather than rain, she draws the banana outward, tumbling out of bed and looking over her shoulder, cursing.]

GODDDAMIT IT, DILLON FRANCIS.

Cut back t Dillon Francis drags Sunni Blu's body into a Holda Civic

Why a Honda civic

Seems like a regular car

Why not Nissan.

Could be a Nissan

So just make it a Nissan.

Ok.

[in the closest parallalell dimension, it is a Nissan.]

Nice.

(Shrugs)

Anything but a Subaru.

[being Skrillex]

SKRILLEx

SUBARRUUUUUUUUUUU—-

*zoom*

*splrSH*

(All wet)

Whatthefuck.

Meanwhile,

Did it work? Is she here?

Well, not yet…

Suddenly, a blue dot appears on the map.

Bingo.

YO.

we did it.

Suddenly, the dot turns from blue to red.

Wait, what happened.

I don't know

Suddenly, the red dot turns purple.

What the fuck is that.

The dot then splits into two dots

What.

I dunno.

I've never seen this before

The two dots each split into two dots—now there are four dots—a green, a blue, a red, and a yellow dot—they begin to blink and swirl in a mesmerizing pattern, before dissipating and dissappearing entirely.

The fuck!

I don't know!

Dude, do something.

Do WHAT.

Something!

This has no logical fucking explaination whatsoever.

The screen goes black. The map dissappears.

What happened.

We got hacked?!

That's IMPOSSIBLE.

It's not impossible

It IS impossible. It's the most impossible impossibility fucking EVER.

Okay, well—

Okay well?!

I don't know!!!

The screen returns—the map is blank—the four dots reappear, each changing in color sequences and shapes quickly and drastically, dancing and swirling around the screen—the map reappears,

the dots each spread to a separate corner of the map: north east south and west— the trails of the colors spelling out in the center of the map

M A G I C

I S

R E A L,

Then exploding into candy coated sparkles and confetti.

What the fuck.

*exasperated, under breath*

It's fucking…Dillon Francis.

What?!

ITS FUCKING GODDAMN DILLON FRANCIS. FUCK!

WHAT,

No WAY.

AAAAAGAGGGHHHHHHHHH.

*throws shit, all mad*

Careful!

What's it MATTER!?

…still…

*loses shit*

As he exits the base and enters his living room, he opens the outer door to find that l the entire living room is covered in candy coated confetti and sparkles; he slips into a puddle of strange gellatenous goo.

UHMPH.

The other two hackers come running o it from the lair, one also slipping in the goo, and the other stopping short at the door, in awe of the disaster.

Ow! What the fuck!

Whaaaaaaaaaa……

FUCKING—FUCK!!

On a speeding bullet to nowhere,

Comb out my hair for a moped

Or hope of a slow rush to

Some sorry apartment I pour all my art into

Home, where the heart is

It's cold, but she needs the attention—

Just as much as

I need the move that she gets from it anyway

Envy in outfits,

Dismissal of seasonal effective—

A positive adjustment suggests that

The entrance of pumpkin spiced

Knitted sweaters and puffed jackets

Are just as perhaps as attractive in essence

As nakedness,

To those in possession of

Personality

Then, something suggests

As progressed in possessions,

The payment was lovelessness

Entering sequence

SHIT!

What?! is it Skrillex?!

[Loading semi-automatic rave weapon]

Can't be too sure…

Yo.

Yo.

Madonna just walked in with Bob Saget.

Bob Saget is dead.

I KNOW THAT.

YO.

And they're about to do a B2B.

That's WILD.

Lol where is this party.

Bag as a basket,

Has to match the boots, hasn't it?

Suede, like encantmemts,

Enchanted, the spider,

Still, she works hard at it

(Hard as Manhattan)

Masterful hat, my dear

Happened to stand at the platform,

Just long enough to—

*SLAM*

Got ‘em.

Fuck.

Alright,

Okay.

So it's dark, right?

Yeah.

Ow watch this.

^immensely bright shiny light*

WOW.

You see that?

YEAH.

That's your light.

WOW.

Yeah, okay, now turn it off.

HOW?

That's right, you don't know how.

NO! I DONT.

Try to remember.

Remember what.

How to turn it off.

Why?! It's AWESOME.

Yeah, turn it off.

I don't know how.

Try to remember.

I—remember what.

Turn it—

I don't know how to do that.

Well, I need you to try.

What? What for?!

-*huge scary monster appears out of darkness

WOAH.

That's what for.

*MONSTER IS SCARY*

OH.

Yeah.

*SCARY MONSTER ROAR*

Ugh.

With a snap, they instantly CHARGE into THE VOID.

*heavy sigh*

Dang.

*nods*

You see, that thing—

*very scary monster*

And other things like it—

*vampires*

*demons*

*zombies*

*racists*

Eat light.

But I make light.

Exactly.

So why is that a problem.

Because.

These dark things can't be satisfied— they'll take all of your light, until there's nothing left

Oh...

And worse,

There are far worse things—

Worse than that?

Far worse. Things that will not only devour your light, but absorb you, and make you into a ravenous darkness—entrapped within the deepest realms of the outer worlds—a nothingness in which light cannot dwell—where no light can penetrate—no light is known—and you become such darkness

so how multidimensional is she.

Like, way multidimensional.

Way, multidimensional, dude.

I don't know if you want to take this on.

I like a challengeS

This is beyond a challenge, dude. This is, like—

This could be career suicide.

DILLON FRANCIS has a flashback to the most miserable moment in his career.

…I'm willing to risk that.

You're fucking crazy, man.

Crazy is good. Let's do it.

He slaps the table, cracks open a bottle of water and leaves, seeming bizzarely chipper.

…he's fucking insane.

*shrugs*

Pays my bills.

Yeah, I guess.

Gh0st.

What's all this supposed to mean.

I thought we were getting fat.

I wasn't serious.

Neither was I.

We were each other's imaginary friends.

What's that, a coping mechanism?

Almost.

What's that, a calling card?

Almost.

Hijacking Beyoncé. Gold.

I think the point I was making is I can't even touch Beyoncé.

Nobody touches Beyoncé.

Except Beyoncé.

Well, maybe Jay-Z.

Like I said.

JAY-Z is also BEYONCÉ.

Hah. Nice.

Everything is Every—

Shut up.

Why are you in GA.

I'm not gonna pay for a front row ticket to Fangirl Beyoncé.

I thought you were fangirling me.

Somebody has to.

Japanese Lady badly singing on the train

Should I record it?

Tempting, but—I'll just keep this moment to myself.

[literally the star of a movie]

(At least I tried. )

Besides, I want to know what she's saying.

How are you ever gonna know what she's saying.

Meanwhile, at Ultra Japan

SKRILLEX

(Being Skrillex)

Ugh.

MEANWHRHIRLE.

PASQUALLE ROTELLA is the head of the EDMADFIA

Ok. Is that

Electronic Dance Mafia

Fuxk, now I want Pop-Tarts.

Or

Electronic Daisy Mafia

PORQUE NO LAS DOS.

Fuck, or I want tacos!

THE ELECTRONIC DANCE MAFIA

Wearing sleek black mysteriously dark attire, only ever so rarely accented by red as to notate the higher ranks of the most organized *possibly criminal* organization

Wait, does the mafia still exist?

Yes. Yes it does m.

Ever.

Oh wow.

Yeah:

THE ELECTRINIC DAISY MAFIA

These flamboyant motherfuckers dress in purple with accents of pink, electric blue, and neon shades of yellow, green, and orange—but are highly mysterious, though almost obnoxiously

Lol. This bitch is literally singing on the train.

Wasn't that you just earlier?

I—

EARLIER, (but not that part:)

She seems to have taken a sudden interest in the occult.

[literally battling demons]

This isn't SUDDEN.

That is interesting.

[in agreement and solidarity]

Open the doors.

The thing that was sudden, was that I started to notice that something about my voice changed the energy in any room, depending on the way I used it—it became important to notate exactly how the energy changed, and also—

There she is.

What kind of people arrived at the sound of my voice—

Let's go.

Who was I calling to. What was the nature of this force, and

Your HIghness.

Uh, okay.

Why were they following me?

Alright, I'm signing off.

No, not yet...

Not yet? Dude—

It's not time.

What is time?!

*sighs*

You pushed it at Beyoncé.

Now who's fangirling.

NOBODY.

Yeah, except BEYONCÉ.

BEYONCÉ approached ME.

EXACTLY MY POINT.

You and points. Explains the tattoos.

You're one to talk.

Nah, not really.

I'm signing off.

*sighs frustratedly*

(whispered) HART.

The bright light which once illumated the space between them fades out.

Darkness.

It is a simple room, where the two archangels meet to discuss their ongoing journey through the inner and outer worlds—they are, in essence, twin flames, perhaps, as to be described as one soul, split to display spectrums of opposite, which together signify balance— and apart exemplify chaos, confusion, and dissasemblance; imbalance, impurity, and unsynchronistic—not yet true Gods but dieties of a higher existence, escaping often between realms and plains to telepathically banter in a battle of wits; they are alike because they are one another—they are seperate because in order to fulfill all duties of the higher calling, they must remain as opposites until the day is called that they must forge their powers for the betterment of humanity, and become as one.

A dark blue couch illuminated by a bright light, unseen but acting as the fourth wall, an old TV screen which displays a silent staic.

c o l o r s

Fuck, where is SUPACREE.

Oh, she's dead.

I know that.

Then why did you ask.

Because she should be here.

Are you serious?

I know she's here.

She's not. She's dead.

I know that:

Then why'd you—

THIS Is the land of the dead.

This is not.

What—of course it is.

It is not,

Yes it is! I just died this morning.

Hah. Okay.

“Okay?”

Yeah: “Okay.”

What's that mean?

It means “okay”

“Okay?!”

“Okay!”

[beat]

*sighs frustratedly*

Look, you said “SUPACREE”, right?

Yes.

And you just died, right?

Right?

Yeah! This morning!

Okay.

“Okay” you keep saying

*he shoots him through the heart*

[he is speechless, bleeding out]

Do you know how many times supacree died to be supacree

[he gasps for his final breaths, gushing blood]

Continued

I'm doing you a favor.

[He fully dies]

You owe me.

THE GOOGLE KIDS

are so cute.

*super cute kids*

WOW.

Very, very cute.

*crying from cuteness overload*

Look, puppies.

ugh.

so what did you do after you graduated Fame School.

NOTHING.

Huh?!?

In fact, I almost starved to death

*eggagetates gasps*

In fact, if it hadn't been for Whole Foods Market, I probably would have.

*more gasps*

Were they one of your sponsors?!

[braking* fourth wall, looking directly into camera]

I don't know yet.

WHOLE FOODS MARKET

yes.

Ok.

DILLON FRANCIS is the worlds most inconspicuous psychopath since Ted Bundy—his charm, fame, and status has kept his devious use of coercion, hypnotism, and lust for paysical and material possession under wraps for—

DILLON FRANCIS

(Jokingly, but not)

Haha. I'm immortal.

Well, centuries.

Meanwhile, wherever this is at:

See. Haha. This is fun. Adventure time.

Woo!

Haha.

What do you want, Dillon Francis.

I don't know yet. Haha. We'll see.

At this point, he's just fully meniacal.

This turnt up 8000 levels, bruh.

Eithe thousand levels.

What's that gonna do.

We'll see.

I just feel bad for Dillon's mom.

Don't worry— I am Dillon's mom.

Aww. You hijacked his mom?

I hijacked his everything.

You want a SPRIte?!

I don't drink—

DRINK THE SPRITE.

okok.

DRINK IT

AD:

DRINK SPRITEx

Ok.

Ok.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

[The Legend Returns]

Really Bad Mixtape (Might as well get it out of the way now)

Killst_rr (Instrumental)

Sleep Deprivation Sequence

You're not you when you're not you.

Hoe_math

Exactly what it sounds like.

[UnderWorld.]

R-R 1 -rarity.

[i Come Undone.]

AtPLAY Live Mix

[Autopilot.]

{A Star Is Born.}

For fear of fire;

Best not to wander off,

With no back track–

Might have forgotten the rest, but

It wasn't a poem,

or part of a song

At least, not yet

Fuck man. I really want to sample this.

Can't sample deadmau5; he's a bitch about paperwork.

You cant technically say that.

I mean, I technically didnd't.

Just let your fingers do the talking.

Ooh, look at that one.

What are you doing.

Some online shopping.

For what.

A man-thing.

You're better off letting your back end

Handle the conversation

Then again,

When in search of a venue

Anything with the proper connections

And stereo systems

Will do in the moment.

What do you want?

To get rid of my hiccups.

That's it:

*huccups* yu-p.

Wow, that's–

Have you ever thought about just–

I've thought about just about everything–that's how you got here.

I'm gonna go ahead and admit–there's too much going on in my head.

It's a lot.

I'm gonna need a nap.

GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME.

*sheath/ swoard*

Is that the sword of skrillex.

Yeus.

Give it to me.

*stabs in thigh*

Oooh.

Not the balls!

fair.

Around the world we go

Around we go again

Here we are

Oh no,

It's the same song

Over and over

I'd like you to love to today

(I'd love to forget for a moment I haven't)

I know before long, we get older and older

All wrong,

It's the same one,

Over and over.

Have you seen my butt plugs?

NO! GROSS.

It's alright. I'll just pick some up on the way.

AGGH.

Better yet, can you just put in the order on amazon

AmAZoN.

Yes.

(I'm so happy Amazon has anal plugs.)

Please stop now.

You're being a baby about this–just-

You know what. Nevermind. I'll do it myself.

Please do that.

Siri–

Oh my God.

Alexa–reorder from Amazon.

Come on focus.

…hmm…now what was I doing?

A B L E T O N

*spinning rainbow wheel of doom*

…seems like it was something.

Come on….FOCUS.

Hm.

When's the last time you had a marshmello.

Flashback:

[BONFIRE: Burning The Skrillex]

*Also making smores*

CUT BACK TO:

Like never, I'm vegan.

PASQUALE

WAKE. UP.

Holy shit. It's you again.

It's always me.

Last time you were like 26.

Well, now i'm this age.

Wait, how old are you.

Wouldn't you like to know.

There's a lot of things i'd like to know about you, Pasquale, that's not even near the top of the list.

Speaking of “top of the list”--

I do have a lot of things to do today.

Oh yeah, what's that?

I don't know. A bunch of crap.

Speaking of crap–

This is a lot of speaking.

Happy Birthday.

What is this.

It's Captain Crunch.

Yes it is. What is it doing in my lap.

That's your lunch.

I–no, it isn't.

It is.

No, i'm vegan.

Well, that's the “happy” part in “happy birthday”

No…

Yes, actually.

This is –

It is–

Vegan.

Damn.

Jinx. You owe me a Pererier.

Shut up.

Or a LaCroix. I'll taka a LaCroix.

You're so LA.

I guess that makes you Beverly Hills–

Or Pacific Palisades. Is that Annexed.

It is “LA”

What else is in this?

No animal product…

“Yellow 6”

It reads!

What happened to yellow 1-5?

A whole story.

Yes, but not a whole food. “Yellow 6?!”

That's the chemical complex you need to find yourself in the right dimension. Exactly.

What's wrong with this dimension?

What isn't?

I'm in it! You're in it!

Like I said.

What–

Just eat it.

Ugh–

happy trails.

*disappears*

Ugh. I gave that dude too much money.

Fuck, what was I doing again.

Deadmau5.

Uhm, no i was–

Deadmau5.

Deadmau5.

OOOOOH> YES.

I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER.

Stop it.

YOU STOP IT. I KNOW IT'S YOU.

Who is it?

STOP IT.

Stop–doing that.

I know you're deadmau5.

I most certainly am not.

I know its you.

I have boobs.

How did you do this.

I did–n't.

That's right.

Fuck, what happened.

Nothin.

Now I gotta kill my stupid brother.

You have a brother?!

SKRILLEX. GET IN HERE.

Fuck, run.

I gotta go.
Go where.

Uhm. Somewhere else.

DILLON, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.

IT WAS NEVER FUNNY.

(It was funny to me.)

God does have a sense of humor.

AHAH–AHAHA–HAHAHA.

As it turns out, not the absolute best sense of humor.

Oh—he's okay! He's okay!

No, he's dead.

He's definitely dead.

But a sense of humor, nonetheless.

Fuck man. What did you do to Dillon Francis.

Nothing. I just got him drunk

On what?! Cyanide?

Okay, I don't even know what that is.

He's a corpse.

–but a pretty one.

C'mon. Be serious.

I can't.

Why not.

It's hilarious, kinda.

This isn't funny.

No, it's hilarious. He earned it.

He “earned” it?

Well, yes–

He is dead.

I mean, it's a long story; but he brought it upon himself, honestly.

“Honestly”

Please. PLease. Please.

No, I said.

PLEASE.

I SAID NO.

What's this story.

That's ten. I win.

Fuck.

DILLOn WAkE UP.

*smacks*

ahah.

I think it's working

I think he's waking up.

He's not waking up.

He must be. He's laughing.

He's not laughing

He said “haha'

*smacks*

haha .

See.

*smacks*

Mm. This shit smacks

HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKSSSS.

Oh shit, is this the 90s.

HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKSSS.

*slams*

GIMMIE MY HONEY SMACKS.

That's it. There's no more.

AW, COME ON.

Sorry, that's all there is.

WHAT.

But yu can have captain crunch.

I DON'T WANT CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I WANT HONEY SMACKS.

I'm sorry, there are no more Honey Smacks. You can have Captain Crunch, or Shredded Wheat.

GRAMPA

Shredded Wheat is MY favorite.

Ugh.

Mm. Honey Smacks.

I HATE YOU.

Be nice to your brother.

Lol. Everything about Dillon's eyes makes him devastating.

Who plays tiny Dillon?

I don't know. There are like nine in the script.

It shouldn't be hard to cast. We'll go to utah.

Fucking. I hate Utah.

WELCOME TO UTAH.

Nice.

Alright, well, what other grounds are there to cover, here?

DILLOn FRANCIS

I am not doing this project.

Of course you are–it's in your contract.

What contract.

The one you signed.

Which–no–I didn't.

But you did.

SUNNI BLU

I got you a drink.

DILLON FRANCIS

That looks fruity.

SUNNI BLU

Try it.

DILLON FRANCIS

*sips*

DILLON FRANCIS CONT'D

What's in this.

Just– drink it.

SUNNI BLU

Don't look at me like that.

DILLOn FRANCIS

Like what.

SUNNI BLU

Do you need a mirror?

DILLON FRANCIS

I–

SUNNI BLU

Look down.

DILLON FRANCIS

*does*

SUNNI BLU

*flicking nose*

Made you look. haha .

DILLOn FRANCIS

Wow. [takes drink]

SUNNI BLU
That's the spirit. But literally there's a mirror between your feet, if you need one.

[there literally is]

SUNNI BLU CONT'D

The floor is made of mirrors

DILLOn FRANCIS

*suddenly inebriated*

Oh wow.

SUNNI BLU

The whole club turns into a disco ball.

DILLON FRANCIS

*suddenly very inebriated*

That's–convenient.

SUNNI BLU

It is.

SHIA

DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS.

If my dreams were not just dreams, everyone in here would have a lawsuit against me.

A lot of us do.

Carry on, then.

SKRILLEX

BLAIGH.

Oh shit, its you again.

I swear to God, I thought I killed this nigga.

Are you sure it was him?

SKRILLEX

!!!!

No.

Alright, i've almost got it.

Almost got what.

This whole– thing.

Oh.

–and–it's gone.

Really, that quick.

I don't think you understand what's happening.

You're right, i don't understand what's happening at all.

Oh shit. I'm deadmau5.

Nice.

Fuck it, lets do some trolling.

Alright alright.

BUT FIRST, COFFEE.

Fuck dude, I don't think I should have anymore coffee.

Too late.

deadmau5.

ok .

Deadmau5.

Nice.

D–0

DOn'T D o THis, I'M WARNING YOU.

….

If you open that portal, there's no going back.

*opens portal*

Now you've done it.

*goes into portal*

Fuck.

*portal closes neatly*

*facepalm*

*entire series of cosmos collapse in the great distance–time begins to stretch and bend uncontrollably*

Come on, just let me lick the balls.

NO.

I'll give you a cookie.

well …

OH my GAWD.

What.

Come here, you have to see this.

What the fuck is that.

I don't know.

Should i pick it up?

No, don't touch it!

He picked it up.

Oh, gross.

What is this.

I don't know. I think it's fanfiction.

Who wrote it.

Idk. somefangirl.

Fangurl.

FaNGiRls.

Well, Hey, at least i'm not a groupie.

OH COME ON, JUST LET ME SUCK IT.

GET AWAY FROM ME.

PLEASE. i'LL GIVE YOU $40.

-well.

NOW, A COMMERCIAL BREAK.

Since when does this show have commercials.

It doesn't.

I want to talk to Jimmy Fallon.

That's–not happening.

Why not.

JIMMY FALLON

BECAUSE I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NBC.

There he is–

Nice.

JIMMY FALLON YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

I AM A FAMILY MAN, OKAY.

Is that like Family Guy? By Chance?!

SETH MCFARLENE

(with super long hair)

*crossing fingers*

I'm hoping so.

JIMMY FALLON

Not even close!

SETH MCFARLENE

*snaps*

Dammit.

Oh, I get it. It's like–The Cofffee run

Which “coffee run”

THE coffee run.

We'll have to admit, it's probably the most watched coffee run of all time.

Of all of them.

You know what? Fuck it, fire me. I'm doing this show.

What?! JImmy. Why on EARTH would you ever agree to something like this.

JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER

Because–it's my duty.

Yo.

You know that song that everybody knows?

You know the song because everybody knows this song.

It goes:

Lovin you–

is easy cause youre beautiful.

do - do- do - do- do- do- do…

Yeah. You know that song.

But you probably don't know who sings it.

I'll tell you who sings it.

That song is by an artist called Minnie Ripperton.

That's a mouthful.

Yeah, one hell of a name, huh.

Well, that's the lady who sings the song.

It's Minnie Riperton.

Now, let me tell you something else you probably don't know:

Something I probably wouldn't know if I wasn't a DJ

But i know this, because I'm a DJ

AND

MAYA RUDOLPH

WAUT A MINUTE.

What the fuck, Maya Rudoph, are you doing in my bathroom at 5 AM

It's 1:15 in the afternoon.

I'm a DJ. It's 5 AM.

That's making sense.

I know it is. What's not making sense. Is why you're in my bathroom drinking a milkshake.

It's a strawberry milkshake.

So it is.

*slurps milkshake*

*sitting on toilet*

*slurps*

What do you want.

You want to know what I want?

Apparently, a milkshake.

It's a strawberry milkshake.

OK.

OK.

OK so what.

Finish the script.

–What?

Fuck dude, how does this song sound good every time?

Congratulations, you've gone entirely insane.

beep-boop .

[DJ]

B00p beep.

[Music Producer]

Beep-beep.

0.c.

Do not fall dangerously in love;

Do not pass go

Do not collect $200

Or any of it

For any reason,

For any of it

For any of them

Just keep it pushin;

Just keep it private

Just hold it all in and

Do not let go

Do not fall in love

Do not pass go

Do not unload

Do not walk

Do not cross here

Do not

It smells like butter.

But you're vegan.

I know.

Do you think you're having a stroke.

God, I fucking hope so.

GOD

You WHAT.

I want to die.

GOD

I thought i heart you right.

You heard me right–a THOUSAND times. I want to die. Take me out of this life.

GOD
Not until you make dubstep.

WHAT.

GOD

You gotta make a grammy-winning dubstep album.

I what.

GOD

Or at least nominated.

No, I don't.

GOD

Beg your pardon.

I'm not begging.

GOD

What are you getting at, hon?

Look; Am I not one with the source?

GOD

Uhm–you are.

Alright, Then: everything is everything.

GOD

Yes.

And everyone is everyone.

GOD

This is true.

So i'm Skrillex.

GOD

Skrillex is Skrillex

So I Am.

GOD

…

And I already won a grammy.

GOD

…

Like a bunch of them, right.

GOD

Uh.

So technically–

GOD

YOu know what. I can't argue with that logic.

This isn't ableton.

No. This is Logic.

What the fuck. That's not Serato.

No, that's Rekordbox.

What the fuck is this.

These are CDJs.

There's no hot cues!

What the fuck is a “HOT CUE”

This is not food.

What the fucking sauce.

I'm warning you, Pasquale. Get off my lawn.

THIS IS MY HOUSE.

Your house it is not.

*House music starts blasting*

*lasers* sprinklers* dancers*

WHAT THE FUCK.

It's voice activated, I just–

How did you do this?!

What.

WHAT DID YOu DO. AND WHEN.

I don't know! I just took the delorean, like you said.

You were supposed to find Dillon Francis.

I did! The problem was, when I found the right one, he was dead!

What? He's dead?

Presumably!

What do you mean by that!?

It's a long story!

WELL, HOW LONG?

SUNNI BLU

About as long as my dick!

WHO IS THAT.

I told you it's a long story.

Well, let me in!

Sorry Pasquale. No Can do.

What. Why not.

Cause you're on a federal watch list.

What.

Yeah. Sorry.

Wait…

You should probably leave before the feds get here.

What?

Unless you want to stay and party on the lawn but–not recommended.

This is bizarre.

The police arrive, surrounding Pasquale on the yard–moving in to arrest him.

WAIT.

SUPACREE turns away from the window; inside, a room full of her aliases sit looking somewhat miserably;

SUPACREE!!!

[Pasquale is handcuffed and i dragged off of the lawn]

SUPACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Careless, Acoustic–deadmau5

SUPACREE pours a bowl of captain crunch, taking one colossal bite and sits down in THE CONTROL ROOM at a large computer console; inhaling from a can of nitrous oxide.

I'm the worst DJ ever.

SUPACREE places the fames deadmau5 helmet atop her head and begins working at the computer promptly, clicking away; Now is deadmau5

I don't even know what key this song is in.

MEOWINGTONS, Alive and well purrs and stretches, then settles atop SUPACREE/deadmau5's lap.

This is insane.

I don't know what's happening.

END CREDITS. V. O.

Lovin' You, Minnie Ripperton Carless, deadmau5

idk how i'm gonna mix that.

Trust me. Anything can be mixed.

Anything.

[When it]

Turns out,

The bottom of your heart

Was the tip of the Ice Berg

And the whole ship has [s]unk[en],

[&] I[t]'s probably ice cold

At the bottom of the ocean;

I'll tell you where i'm from

Why,

I'll tell you anything for

About one dollar

Turns out,

I've already got one eye on you;

One eye'd sad heart

I should probably roll out my art on you

[I probably should not]

One man bought a kiss,

Another, a whole night from her–

One man bought a whole farm

The other, a Whole Foods Market

–and you can't even franchise those

Amazon's got a monopoly

We were playing for corners of earth,

All i got was some kandi,

Subscriptions to candidly,

Actually,

I really liked the tree trial

(I think i'll wait a week, sorry)

When it turns out

The world that you wanted

Was actually hours already

The dollar you got

Was also borrowed

And the money they wanted and got

Was just actually stolen from someone else

They bought all the food up

And sold it for profits

I promise this avocado

Once costs nothing at all

But you wanted that car for your daughter

She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it

My mom, on my honor

Of all the garages in Lost Lands,

I promise the owner of it was

The first to go last,

And the last to come home

Now he's on his own alter

And also the worshiper;

How do you go back?

Oh, you don't

Oh you don't

Oh, you don't wanna know that

But i was of course,

All of your rock bottoms

It's bottoms and tops, and

We don't let the top fall over,

We're counting up crumbs

And this muffin costs $24 dollars

Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks

For the dead homies

Not dead in the general sense

But just in the head, the heart,

And the soul

The homeless are happier at McDonalds

Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks

For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere

I'll avoid the power struggle at operations

for about 18 dollars and 56 sense

(Please, keep the pennies)

I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's

Something indecent, or decadent

Whichever it is

Cause i'm better of with the memory of it

Than actually dragging it in.

–I'm a cat again.

Ouch.

Shut up.

It HURTS.

Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics.

YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid.

Yes, but lucily for you–

–or, for him–

Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid.

–Ouch–

–Shut up.

That we know of.

George Washington

John Adams

Thomas Jefferson

James Monroe

Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th

Oh shit, I was wrong

Turns out, my memory only can hold three.

That's a good number

I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this.

I never leave.

Then go away.

I live here.

I know you'd like to think that, but–

Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm.

What time is it?

I don't care

Are we gonna make a movie?

Depends; is it gonna make me money.

FINE.

I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three.

Are you serious?

I wish I wasn't.

I need you to do this.

Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me.

A blowjob.

Uh huh.

That's why you're bothering me.

I–would rather you just pick up the call.

Take a message.

I like ‘em like this.

I like ‘em like that.

I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

And I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

Mmm like that.

Like that.

I like ‘em like this.

I like ‘em like that.

I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

And I like ‘em like this.

–and I like ‘em like that.

Mmm like this

Like that.

Like —

_____

The urge to eat had suddenly left me

I wanted a burrito,

(But I want to eat red meat)

I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses

Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently.

I probably should eat

(But probably shouldn't…)

I'm starting to bleed;

As if i'd been fasting

Perhaps, though I had been

But had so indulgently feasted

On calories enough to last me

Till after today

(or even till next week)

PAY ATTENTION.

Woah, to WHAT.

Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but.

This is real.

ARE YOU SEEING THIS.

I “see” it.

I should stop meditating in public.

You see this? I know everything about you.

Why?

I bought it on the internet.

What is it.

Metadata.

That's…flattering.

Yeah.

Wake up.

Why, where are we going?

Atlanta.

What's in Atlanta?

You see this?

Yes.

Do you know what it is?

Uh, it's a–

What is it?

It's a doll.

It's not a doll.

Oh, it's not.

Gimmie a dollar.

-_-

It's a poppit.

“Dr pimple popper”

Ew that's fucking gross.

I hate this.

Let me see.

Does s/he have backne?

Yes/No.

Great, i'll take it.

Fuckit.

Okay, I got to “whatever”.

You went too far.

What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit”

Yeah, you go past fuckit,

I did that!

But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far.

You've gotta go back.

Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever”

Oh trust me. There is.

So?

This is how he's been controlling you.

And?

And!?

Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled?

What!

That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission–

permission to what

Permission to ride.

…

Maybe I gave him the reigns.

What horse “gives” its rider the reigns.

Who said anything about a horse?!

Another Horse Mix.

Nice.

fuck .

FYCK.

I told you.

You know what…
Maybe that's my poppit.

What.

Maybe.

I'm so confused.

Oh, good–the reversal spell worked.

You did a reversal spell on me?

Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST.

Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you.

EXACTLY. COPY-CAT.

Moo.

Aww.

I'm a cat.

…

*face*

I mean “meow”

That's right. Cat.

…moo.

*face*

Lookie here boys:

What is it?

–I'm leaving.

Oh, you're gonna wanna hear this.

What.

I found the first “whites only” water fountain since 1962.

Okay, what do you want?

A deal.

Oh, I'll give you a deal.

Cash up front.

[He presents a one dollar bill]

Is this enough.

[beat]

Where are you going with this?

Nowhere, fast.

YO.

What now, dude.

SHE'S ONTO US.

I doubt that.

Look at this.

I highly doubt–

*gaaassp* Shenanigans!

You know what I like about you, Ariana?

Everything.

Hah.

Hm.

You know how to keep a secret.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Exactly.

*rolls eyes, flips hair.*

Well, here's another one for you.

–Another what?

This is how my darkness becomes your darkness.

I already have enough on my own.

I know.

You don't know. Only God knows.

MOM!

Don't ask me again.

This is heavy, Doc.

What is it?

The soup! It's too heavy.

Too much cream?

Way too much! I have a meeting!

Meeting with who?

The Hollywood People.

When?

Soon–what time is it?

I don't know.

Dammit! Why don't you have any clocks in your house?

I only just recently remembered what a clock was.

Oh!

Here.

[God produces a small pocket watch and presents it to him; it's nearly noon on EARTH; But the two are sharing a meal of course in the famed kitchen of the Creator in the TImeless VOID.]

Ah, Jesus Christ!

He's not here…

I'm gonna be late.

Now, now; You know I wouldn't let that happen–

[a smug look|

Hugs and Kisses.

[As they embrace, he disappears into a mist of light and stardust, fading away from the void and into the exterior world; he realizes God has slipped him the watch; he flips it open to reveal the time: it is now 11:44]

Amazing.

V.O.

Now you won't wait so long to visit.

[He places the wach in his pocket and walks into the studio]

MICHAEL J. FOX has been asked to reprise his role as MARTY MCFLY many times before; But never for a project like this.

____

Meanwhile,

What am I going to do with you?

[The Festival Project.™]

YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!

–I'm dead to everyone!

Don't do this.

You wanted to come to the other side.

No, I didn't.

We'll you're here anyway;

Might as well stay awhile.

With eyes like burning fire

And saddles for the riders

The horse begins to gallop

(or the horses, rather)

On the mark to beating drums

To move them forward faster

What the fuck is this.

idk. Kx5.

*-*

!_!

Here u go

Wat is this.

it's a dragon.

Oh, thats nice.

Ya.

Whats it do.

Idk. dragon things.

ok.

Don't put it in ur bathroom.

Why.

idrk.

Hm.

†

Hey.

Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away.

It's me, Ryan!

No, Get out!

I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade!

Gross!

It's just Ryan! I promise!

NO. GET OUT.

Lmfao.

Right.

This show is fantastic.

Who was that.

Fucking–Kaskade again!

Are you sure.

Ugh.

Looks like Ryan.

Kaskade is Kaskade.

{shrugs] Dudes a creep.

“Kaskade Ruins Lives”

Is this the same episode as before?

Eventually, yes.

Wasn't I doing something

Are you goona let this go?

Um.

Well I'm fucked.

Why, what happened.

Obsidian.

That should do

Unsobsidian.

Okay, i'm fucked,

Well, what's this?

An Oreo Cookie.

I mean, sitting next to it.

Oh, its a portal gun.

Raves are not just raves–

A party is not simply a “party”

–These big festivals

–they're diversions.

–DIstractions.

Distractions from what.

If you were supposed to know,

–you'd know.

it wouldn't be so important that you go.

Why is it?

These ancient rituals…

It's occult magic.

They've got it down to a science.

The government funds this.

The government funds everything.

WoooooooW.

It's not really a secret, if you can google it.

‘-complications.'

I'm lost somewhere, gone

HIppopatamus

feeling quite off in the galaxies,

galavanting

Gazing at Daisies

Aces and spades

Gone from Heaven to Hades for days

On the A–

Adjacent

Recently dismantling adjectives,

Lampshades and matching curtains

God it hurts, every day that I think about you;

But how can i be about you when

You don't even see me, do you

Signature consignments,

Wrong environments and irony is,

I wasn't invited–

–but invented it

WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?!

BEcause, you're in a movie.

WHAT.

You're stuck in a Hollywood movie.

The Master Sorcerer

Of the Grand Illusion

You just want it so bad

You don't know what you're in for

Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge

Insatiable Sexual Appetite

Great, now I have to explain myself.

You don't have to.

What's this space for?

Oh, that's the red room.

[The Red Room]

Well, obviously, but–

But what?

What's it for?

I don't think anybody should read this.

HEY. Participation Only–

Oh!

No peeking!

You ever feel like you're doing too much?

Yeah, but not for money.

Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to–

deadmau5 .

What? No–

DEADMAU5.

Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat?

It was a mouse. I know the difference.

Do you, though?

Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City.

So.

In Queens.

Oh.

That's mathematically impossible.

I mean it's not–impossible.

No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible.

Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science?

What is this.

Just–enjoy the rave.

No. What is this.

Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC…

NO. What is this right here.

BEFORE:

Hey, you still got that balloon?

Yeah.

Lemme see it.

Dude, what are you doing?

…I'mma go catch me a DJ.

THIS IS NUTS.

I can't feel my face.

What do you call this?

Collateral Damage.

Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom.

ok .

And–uhh–

and.

Uhh–

Why did you call me over here.

Cause i can.

Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo”

Voodoo is magic.

It's just music.

W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O

I don't know.

Fuck dude, I fucked up.

Once again–

Of course you did.

What did you do this time?

I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass.

Nice.

Way to go.

Yeah.

Wait.

…

Did you just say.

HE JUST

He deserted me.

SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE?

ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT?

JEFF

Alright, lets go.

WHO DID THIS.

So what's this place.

Lets not let this conversation resurface.

This is a 21 Plus Event.

What about VIP

VIP is 25 Plus.

What about that place.

Sorry kids.

[NO ENTRY]

We gotta get in there.

So then they wanted an Encore.

Did you give them an encore?

NO, i was already at my hotel room.

Then how did you know that they wanted an encore?

WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE.

FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER.

Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC?

Have you literally never been out with rich people?

No, I literally just got rich.

Oh, nice.

So, wait, like–

Here we go.

Dillon Francis has just always been rich?

Uh-huh.

And Skrillex has always been rich?

Yes. Definitely.

And deadmau5.

deadmau5 is Canadian.

OH MY GOD.

W E L C O M E

I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this.

Alright.

Sign this waiver.

…this is a…pretty heavy packet.

I'll wait.

I've never signed an NDA like that in my life.

Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz

Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon.

And like, everyone knows what it means.

Everyone knows what an NDA is.

I appreciate the sentiments

Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically?

Autopilot, go.

Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot.

You're on autopilot.

I don't really have to think about it anymore,

I'll have to sleep on it

Wear a white t-shift,

Hear the applause of the audience,

Eat it

You wanna know what I think?

You want to know what I'm drinking?

You know what I need?

An Icee,

(cause I see you typing)
An awful Omnipotence

A God of Mirages

No more carbohydrates,

I gotta get all thin;

Forgot to acknowledge

Whether or not i'm turning this off soon

I are.

I…”are”

I are.

Infinite Reality.

OH. I. R.

IR! IR!

IRV

I ARE.

Suddenly,

I remember the taste of talcum powder

As If I were

Moving backwards

In time,

Like,

Why, God on earth would

My mom let me

try that,

But if i'm honest,

Fuck man, I hate deadmau5–

There's just too much in here.

Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple.

What is this, MATH?!

THIS IS AERODYNAMICS.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS

DId you mean what you said about that?

I meant everything I said.

Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem

In realtime, listening to deadmau5

Having a partially out of body spiritual experience,

Entirely fucking sober

FACEPALM

BLŪ

8facepalming dramatically in frustration*

NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS.

beepboop.

YO.

Oh,

I forgot my open form poetry,

or my mom

How my mom once

allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder

But who can blame her

That was a hard one

It was a past life

And now ive

Got

Another

One

HOly shit what version of the cube is this.

1D.

What.

You'll get it.

Wait.

Have you ever stopped for a minute to think–

I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think”

[Literally stops for a minute to think.]

No fucking way, uh-uh.

Come on, man.

No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5.

Come on–

NO.

–that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place.

Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this.

What are you doing.

Voluntary Ego Death.

I–

Wait. Why would you.

Get out of my brain.

I am your brain.

Take care, now.

Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil.

That's because she's definitely more evil

ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS:
WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX.

MEANWHILE

INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY.

*rings doorbell*

AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME.

I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question.

Oh.

Fuck.

What dude.

We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into.

Are you serious?

It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude.

What do you mean he “left the dimension”

He entered a portal.

He– wait, excuse me.

A portal.

A “portal”, dude?

Yeah; a portal.

What do you mean “a portal”

A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal.

Uh huh.

Excuse us for a second.

What the fuck is this dude talking about?

I don't know, man.

Humans don't use portals!

I know man.

What the fuck!

Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human.

He looks human.

Yeah dude but, we look human.

Duh! Cause we shifted!

Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter.

Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one.

Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good.

I highly doubt that.

Why?

Cause I'm the best.

No, I am.

Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters!

Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right?

I hope not.

No, not like that—like

Okay, okay, whatever, let's just…

Wait, where'd he go?

Excuse me.

What up.

There was just another guy over here just now—

He was like—you know—normal looking guy

Tie die* shirt

Yeah.

Did you see him.

Yeah, I saw him.

Alright, cool, where'd he go?

He left.

What?!

That was fast!

Yeah, well…it happens.

Are you sure?

Yes.

*actually is shifter*

[as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.]

Awww, dammit,

Now we're never gonna find this guy.

Never say never.

Whatever, we're dead.

We're always dead.

Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms

Oh, yeah, that.

Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this.

It is useless.

*enters portal potty*

[

Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis?

That's great, I was just getting to that.

19 Pages. Nice.

…no, 12.

What.

[11:12]

Okay, I'm gonna kill him.

Oh, I banished him.

With my fists.

Nice. Tits.

Nice tits.

Thx.

Hey man.

Hey what.

Remember that smudge on the lens.

Yeah.

It just got bigger.

… did you try vinegar instead of Windex.

Yes.

–IT'S NOT A SMUDGE.

Did you try Windex with Vinegar.

–IT'S NOT A–

Shut up.

I'm. So. Hungry.

Look, do you want this, or not?

Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence?

Just quit, it. Dillon Francis.

WHERE IS IT?

I don't know.

Lets kick this up a notch.

ILLUMINATI

What do you want?

…

I want the full package.

ILLUMINATI

Okay, I'm gonna need specifics.

How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati?

[INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING]

Hm.

It was a pretty specific list.

I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan

Well, The Mayor eats fish.

Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of?

I don't know. We meet in the Matrix.

This is for you.

Oh.

Do you like it?

I–

It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only!

YOu BUY a Membership.

Yeah. And WOMEN.

HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO.

SHHH.
Oh no.

What.

What did you do?

I gave her my credit card.

The Heavy One?

Yes, and–

“AND”

–access to the black market.

Cool, I got it.

Oh, another auction.

Of course another auction.

What'd you buy this time?

A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead.

What are you gonna do with that?

Wouldn't you like to know.

Ok, gross.

LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX

I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans,

It's a comfortable, safe space.

Very inviting.

Everyone is happy.

What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest.

Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya.

Hey, I'm looking for this shithead.

Oh, that dude?

Yeah, have you seen him?

Fuck, I wish this never happened.

LIL BIIIIITz

If you don't know who deadmau6* is–

GET OUT.

Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen.

Maybe just to me, but.

Are you sure that's the right guy?

Yeah, that's gotta be him.

Is he wearing glasses?

Ugh.

Oh wait.

Damn.

‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think'

Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind–

Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music.

Are you sure this is real?

No.

I love this.

Just shut up and do your job.

What a nightmare.

PLease HElP ME.

Hm. That can't be right.

What.

This translates to

H E L P M E

Oh, shit, I gotta go.

Shouldn't you be working right now?

I'm always working.

Shouldn't you be working right now?

I'm at work.

Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here.

Where are you going?

To shoot myself.

Wow, that's one hell of a smile.

Just–take it.

I'm sorry, i can't accept this.

What is even happening in this series?

Like, a lot

WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN.

*not settling down*

*lil biiiiiiiitz*

You know what I wonder?

I wonder this

I'm sober.

I'm just sober sally over here.

I didn't get sober.

I just am.

Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite

than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning

Or–just–whenever–

To wake up whenever and be like

“OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE”

And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again.

‘OH NOOOOOO”

*gets faded*

“It's all goooooood”

No, it isn't.

But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a

It's not even a happy medium,

It's more like a

median-medium

But you know what?

It makes happier moments more happy

And shitter moments less shitty

Because i don't have this like drastic spacial

Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy.

I get to feel things way more intensely.

I don't have to wonder, ever

“oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up”

Or like

“would it have happened this way if I was sober”

At all.

I'm just level–

No false sense of

Pretty much anything.

But i do wonder, though–

Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then

GOT sober–

like , what's the breaking point

What's the tip?

I always have to sit back and wonder

“What did you DO?”

Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly

“I don't drink anymore”

I always wonder, and it's like–

no disrespect or anything thing but…

I really wanna hear that story.

lol .

I know you don't wanna tell it

(if you can)

But wanna hear it.

Cause from my point of view.

IT's probably hilarious.

I know. I'm a dick.

Holy shit. What is that.

Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year.