August 10, 2025

Ep. 017: Mastering Relationships, Part One: How the False Self Blocks Connection

15 minutes

🕊 What if the very ways you try to protect yourself are the same things keeping you from the connection you long for?

In Part One of our Mastering Relationships series, we’re uncovering the hidden patterns of the false self—the fear-driven, approval-seeking, self-protective version of you that often shows up without you even realizing it.

From people-pleasing to control, blame to manipulation, these patterns may feel like survival… but they quietly sabotage intimacy, trust, and real connection.

And here’s the hope: you were never meant to live from that place. In God, you’ve been given a new identity—your true self—whole, grounded, and anchored in love.

In this episode, I’ll help you see where the false self is shaping your relationships and how to gently return to the truth of who you are, so you can love and be loved from a place of freedom.

🎯 You’ll learn:

• How the false self develops—and why it’s so convincing

• Four false self patterns that quietly damage connection

• Why identity in God is the foundation for healthy relationships

• How to see others through their true self without ignoring reality

• Practical ways to shift from fear-based reactions to love-based responses

📎 Mentioned in this episode:

• Listen to Ep. 016: Sacred Identity Over Self-Improvement → [link to episode]

• Take the What Matters Most Assessment → https://lorijsmith.com/free-what-matters-most-assessment/

• Book a free 1:1 coaching session → https://calendly.com/lorijsmith/explore-coaching-free-personalized-session-with-lori

🧠 QUOTABLE INSIGHTS

“Your relationships aren’t made up of what others do or say—they’re made up of your thoughts about them.”

“You cannot have a beautiful relationship if you keep showing up from your false self.”

“People-pleasing feels like kindness, but it’s often fear wearing a mask.”

“Living from your true self begins when you anchor into who God says you are.”

“Connection grows when you choose to see yourself—and others—through the lens of God’s image.”

✨ STAY IN TOUCH

Want a weekly dose of beauty, clarity, and rhythm? Join my Weekly Bookmark email and get a thoughtful reflection, a life-giving idea, and a practical next step—delivered every Monday.

🌐 Website/Blog: https://lorijsmith.com/home

📩 Join Weekly Bookmark: https://lorijsmith.com/home

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/lorijsmithco

🎧 Listen to more episodes: Your Most Beautiful Life Podcast

🧠 KEYWORDS + TOPICS COVERED

faith-based relationships, true self vs false self, God-given identity, emotional connection, people-pleasing, healthy boundaries, spiritual growth, relational wholeness, women of faith, love over fear, mastering relationships, overcoming control, building trust

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By Lori J Smith

1313 ratings