Pursuing happiness tends to make it even more elusive.

Most of the women I know and work with know that sitting on the couch with bonbons when life is feeling a little unsatisfying is not going to do the trick. So in this ongoing conversation about self-care, I’m going to make another distinction that I think can help us.

There are activities that make your life better..

and there’s rest.

And both are critical.

When we use “self-care-type activities” to FEEL BETTER (to feel happy, fulfilled, enjoying our life), I’m not sure it’s so effective.

When we rest because we are so drained or depleted that there are no happy thoughts to think, (or–please–catch yourself before you get to this point when you can) we set ourselves up to rejoin a life that has meaning and purpose which then leads to real fulfillment and happiness.

You can rest on your couch or at a 5-star-spa for all I care, but know that your rest isn’t going to give you what you really need. It’s crucial, but it’s function is just to get you back in the game.