Parenting Understood

Ep. 162 - Navigating Separation at the Start of the School Year


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In this episode, we speak with early childhood educator, Lucy Chen, about the challenges of separation anxiety during the start of school. We explore how separation begins as early as infancy with object permanence and continues to evolve as children enter preschool and beyond. Lucy emphasizes that separation is not "one and done" but an ongoing process tied to trust, attachment, and new environments. Teachers play a key role in creating safe, predictable routines, building relationships, and honoring the wide range of ways children express their emotions—whether outwardly through tears and tantrums or inwardly through silence and withdrawal. The conversation also highlights the dual experience of parents navigating their own feelings of letting go, balancing expectations, and supporting their children while giving themselves grace. With strategies like modeling confidence, slowing down schedules, and fostering consistent routines, the episode underscores that separation is developmental, relational, and best approached with patience and compassion.

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Parenting UnderstoodBy Erin O'Connor and Michelle Tangeman

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