Manage Self, Lead Others: Emotional Intelligence and Leadership for Managers

Ep86 Difficult Conversations with Scott Dutton, Conflict Whisperer


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Scott Dutton is the Conflict Whisperer; a global expert on difficult conversations, Conflict Intelligence®, mediation, emotional intelligence and workplace culture.

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TIMESTAMPS

[6:00] The method I use is based on the Harvard Model.


[6:35 The purpose initially is to understand each other before we start looking at solutions. So it's going in very open, curious, trying to understand the other; them understanding you and then we find a way forward. If everyone has a model like that, it makes it easier.


[7:08] One of the things we look at, running training on difficult conversations, is how do you start the difficult conversation?

 

What you need to do as a mediator, when you're identifying the key issues from both perspectives, is put them in a neutral way.

 

So if someone says I feel disrespected, I would write "respect". If I were going to have a chat about being late for meetings, I would write "meeting times".


And when I approach I'd say, ‘’ Oh Nina, if you've got a few moments, I'm just wondering if we could have a chat about meeting times and just see if we're on the same page on that."

 

[10:24] It's saying, “Hey Nina, if you've got a few moments, I just want to talk about meeting times and I just want to get your just some clarity on what time you're thinking we start.” Just get input from them first. They might go, “I'm all good with meetings.”

 

And then I'd say, “I'm not sure if you're aware, but when you're not coming at nine, what that means is, we often delay the meeting waiting for you to attend. That then impacts our ability to get through all the agenda; and I wasn't sure you're aware of that.”


[21:39] A book I think is worthwhile is "Difficult conversations" from Harvard under the Harvard Negotiation Project.  https://amzn.to/4aDjHVL

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To contact Scott Dutton go to: https://fightingfair.com.au/ [email protected]

[email protected]

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ABOUT HOST, NINA SUNDAY CSP

Contact: [email protected] or [email protected]

Visit https://ninasunday.com or https://www.brainpowertraining.com.au/

As Founder/Owner of Brainpower Training Pty Ltd you can arrange for Nina or one of her Facilitators Australia-wide to deliver face-to-face team training on customised programs on Leadership, Communication and Productivity.

Author of ‘Workplace Wisdom for 9 to thrive; the 12 soft skills everyone needs to know for workplace success'

https://amzn.to/4dVSyjI

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Manage Self, Lead Others: Emotional Intelligence and Leadership for ManagersBy Nina Sunday

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