In episode 92 Behavioural Scientist and master negotiator, Allan Parker, shares secrets of non-verbal communication; how each move, breath, gesture and sentence can impact your listener and their response.

Simple actions and gestures can activate different parts of the brain, spark dormant neurons into action and help you connect in completely different ways.  

Designer of Selective Behaviour Modelling (SBM), Allan teaches a new approach to embedding behaviors, reliably and predictably, into large numbers of people to support culture change with empirical measurement.

Author of "Switch On Your Brain" and "Negotiator's toolkit", Allan leads an experimental learning laboratory, exploring, thinking, doing and being different from yesterday's way. 

TALKING POINTS

Allan Parker: "I've always got my peripheral vision on. The minute I see somebody take a big breath and make a forward movement, they're going to come in with reactivity, I raise my hand toward them and look in the opposite direction. I float my hand toward them and my eyes always go in the opposite direction.

I practiced it for years. The moment you float your hand toward them and say “And what you might be thinking is . . . “, I've now got their attention back and then I can add an extra point, which maybe they wanted to interrupt me halfway through. And it may be the thing I'm about to say . . ."

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"If I can do timing, permission, genuine inquiry . . . 'I'm just wondering . . .' is one of my favorites.

I suspect what could be. And that's where I bring in speculative language which triggers the speculative brain, which is always wanting to be curious. And it also means that there's no right or wrong."

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"One thing I know for sure is that if I ask you to solve a problem and you give me your first answer, I know that it's one you've done before."

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A meeting tactic for anyone who wants to influence a meeting, start by confirming what has just been said and then add your piece. And that's where introverts can really shine, because they’re not doing all the talking, they're listening before they talk. They can use the tactic of summarizing what's been said, then adding their piece.

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Any leader should know the names of every single person in their building that they communicate with over Zoom, over Teams online. There's no excuse for not using people's names and not finding out.

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ABOUT ALLAN PARKER

https://www.peakpd.com/

https://www.peakpd.com/about-allan-parker/

Contact: [email protected] 

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