Praying for myself is easy. Intercession for others is challenging, but praying for my enemies is the hardest. It is also the highest form of prayer. It is what Jesus Himself did and calls us to do.
This is difficult because it goes against our human nature, the pull of the flesh. When someone is hostile toward us, we want to retaliate, seek revenge, or somehow win. We want to see them get what’s coming to them.
But Jesus calls us to love our enemies.
Not only to love those who love us back, but to love those who would oppress us. To love political rivals, hostile neighbors, and even people who personally offend us—whether they be family, friends, coworkers, or neighbors. We are to do this just as Jesus forgave those who crucified Him. Because of His great love, He did not approve of their actions, yet justice was not ultimately denied. Instead, He demonstrated a love that seeks good for another and refuses the vengeance the world constantly pursues.
So, Jesus tells us to pray for those who persecute us. This brings them to Jesus, and we ask Him to have mercy and intervene.
We see this played out in real time with Stephen. As he was being stoned to death, he prayed for those killing him. We are called to answer unrighteous hostility toward the Gospel with a faithful witness instead of retaliation. Someone once said that praying for our enemies guards our hearts from bitterness and displays the grace God has shown us as sinners.
It could be loving someone else includes sending this to them:
This is the opposite response of the world.
It moves us from loving only those who love us back to loving those who would never love us at all. This is Jesus’s radical love—a deliberate act to do what was necessary for us as sinners. When we come to the Lord in prayer for our enemies, we align with God’s heart for not only our lives but theirs, too. We ask that He open doors for the Gospel, transformation, and reconciliation between us and those who oppose us.
Doing this reflects the very character of Christ, who shows love and mercy to all.
We were once enemies of the cross, opposed to the Gospel, but now, through His intervention and radical love, we are friends of God and friends of Christ. In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus calls us to this higher life, a higher order that promotes peace and reconciliation rather than retaliation, revenge, anger, and division. We are to actively do good to those who oppose us, and it starts with praying for them.
I learned from a prayer partner years ago that it is nearly impossible to hate someone you are praying for. Prayer transforms our anger and hatred into love, filling us with the same compassion and kindness shown to us. I will never know how many people I have offended who, rather than retaliating against me, prayed for me. One day, I may learn of their kindness shown to me in the face of my hostility.
I have written about this before: Love is praying for our enemies. Based on Matthew 5:44, Jesus says, “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” This goes far beyond keeping the law; it goes deeper to the intent of the believer’s heart. We are to pray for them, which runs contrary to our nature and culture.
How much do we need to pray this way?
As I wrote in previous parts of this series, prayers for our earthly and temporal needs should be no more than 20% of our prayers, while intercession for others should be another 30%. This leaves half of our prayers for our spiritual needs: our own maturity and growth in Christ. These suggested allocations must be modified to make room in our prayer closet specifically for praying for our enemies.
How much time that takes depends on how many enemies you have. However, I believe the Lord is less concerned with duration and more with frequency. It is not about how long we pray for our enemies, but how often. It might be necessary multiple times a day: before sending an email, before lunch, while in a meeting, coming home from work, or on the way to church on Sunday morning. The opportunities are nearly endless.
While the time spent praying for those opposed to us may be only a moment or two, how much better would those encounters be?
How much more peaceful might our interactions be if we offered a prayer for them? Instead of thinking, “Lord, help me in this meeting,” turn that into: “Lord, bless this person in our encounter today. Let their eyes see Your love, grace, mercy, and compassion. Soften their hearts. Bless them in their difficulties, whatever is causing their anger or anxiety at home or work. I pray You would intervene for them. Help me to love them as You love them, and as You love me. Soften their hearts and soften mine as well.”
You might also take the approach of Charles Spurgeon. He said that if he disagreed with someone, he made it a matter of prayer that God would correct the other person or correct himself to bring a resolution to the dispute. Take an attitude of kindness, remembering that it is God’s kindness that leads to repentance.
Throughout Scripture, we see that the first action of love is to intercede.
We pray for those opposed to us, bringing them to Christ, asking Him to do what only He can do: change a mind, transform a heart, and advance His purpose. His will is to be done in their lives as well as ours. As Stephen said, “Lord, I do not hold this sin against them.” He forgave those who killed him.
Jesus says we should rejoice and be glad, for great is our reward in heaven. Peter tells us not to repay evil with evil, but with blessing. When someone does evil, we return a blessing by praying for them. This is part of our Holy Spirit-led, supernatural life as sojourners in this world. We extend Christ’s love toward the enemies of the Gospel, holding them up in prayer because this reflects the love of Jesus and manifests His reality to those around us. It may open doors for preaching the Word and sharing the good news.
Remember, we overcome evil with good.
I believe the main way we overcome our fleshly desire to retaliate is by praying for those enemies of the cross—those who hate, mistreat, or criticize us, or who hold ungodly values. We do not repay evil with evil; we bless, and we do not curse. As Paul says in Romans 12, we are to rely on prayer and ask for God’s goodness to be showered on the other person.
At first, this can be difficult. Our minds and hearts do not naturally want good for those who have done us harm. That is why I said at the beginning that this type of prayer is hard. But this is the way of the Cross. This is the way of the Gospel. This is the way of Christians.
I believe this is the highest form of prayer precisely because it is the most difficult for us.
It is the highest because it requires a sacrifice.
We sacrifice not only our time but also our attitude of retaliation and vengeance. We give up our need to win and be right. It costs us something to pray for those who persecute us. For Stephen, it cost his life. For us, it may cost our pride, our selfishness, and our hard-heartedness. It may even require us to humble ourselves.
But this, brothers and sisters in Christ, is the way of Christ. So, rather than replaying situations repeatedly in your mind, thinking of what was said or could have been said, or plotting ways to pay someone back, go to our Father on your knees.
Pray for those who have done us harm. Ask that God would have mercy on their souls and bring about that which serves Him, honors Him, and brings Him glory. Ask for His love to be poured out, both in us and for others.
Want to join others praying this way?
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