The Kinky Tavern

Episode 136 – Healing is Not Polite: The Messy, Defiant Spirit of Trauma-Informed Kink with Aidan Sunassee


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Content Warning: Please be advised that this episode contains discussions of trauma, trauma-informed kink practices, emotional regulation, dissociation, triggers, and healing processes that may be sensitive or potentially distressing for some listeners. 

If you are not in a place to handle this kind of content right now, please prioritize your well-being and feel free to join us for a future episode. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 911 or seek immediate help. Resources such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 and https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ are available to provide free, confidential support. Remember to take care of yourself, and thank you for listening.

Episode Description: In this episode, Mx Dizzy and Marquis Pup Rekkr sit down with Aidan, a passionate researcher, educator, and advocate at the intersection of kink, BDSM, and trauma awareness. Aidan shares his personal journey into understanding how trauma, pleasure, and healing are interconnected within kink spaces, emphasizing that trauma-informed practices can foster safer, more supportive environments. He discusses the importance of intersectionality, consent, and community education in creating trauma-aware spaces that honor individual histories, identities, and boundaries.

The conversation explores the messy, defiant nature of healing through kink and trauma work, highlighting that progress is often non-linear and involves navigating complex emotions and setbacks. Aidan offers practical insights on supporting partners through triggers, aftercare, and ongoing communication, emphasizing the role of community and intentionality in fostering trauma-informed environments. He also discusses how organizers and educators can build inclusive, validating spaces by listening more, promoting representation, and prioritizing continuous learning, celebrating vulnerability and resilience as vital components of genuine growth in kink communities.



Guest Links and Episode Resources (not an endorsement/review by TKT):

  • Aidan’s Website - https://aidansunassee.com/

  • Aidan’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dominantdiscourse 

  • Dominant Discourse - Aidan’s blog with his partner - https://dominantdiscourse.com/ 

  • Aidan’s profile on Researchgate - https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Aidan-Sunassee

  • TASHRA - https://www.tashra.org/ 

  • Consent Academy - https://www.consent.academy/ 

  • The Consent Primer by the Consent Academy - https://www.consent.academy/the-consent-primer 

  • Mastering the Art of Mastery edited by Raven Kaldera - https://alfredpress.com/mastering-the-art-of-mastery/ 

  • Learning Submission edited by Joshua Tenpenny - https://alfredpress.com/learning-submission/ 



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