Your butt cheeks also need some TLC… 

In this episode, I’m joined by Flora, a fellow spanko and skincare enthusiast, to talk about keeping your most spanked asset healthy. From preventing scars and managing hyperpigmentation to speeding up bruise recovery and avoiding leather butt, Flora shares the routines, products, and doctor-approved tips that every impact bottom should know.

We break down the best ways to protect your skin before a weekend of play, what to do immediately after a scene, and how to keep your cheeks soft, smooth, and ready for the next round. Plus, we get into the realities of party drop, why volunteering matters, and why curiosity is the most underrated thing you can bring to any kink event.

If you want your marks to fade faster, your skin to recover quicker, and your other cheeks to get the same love as your face, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights: 

04:18 Managing Bruising and Skin Discoloration

07:30 Skincare Routines and Tips

13:46 The Texas Allstate Spanking Party Experience

18:31 Bottoms Up and Community Events

20:55 Daily and Post-Play Skincare Recommendations

24:13 Understanding and Treating Itchy Skin

31:47 Dealing with Leather Butt

33:23 The Role of Hydration and Nutrition

39:09 The Value of Attending Workshops and Classes

Connect with Flora: 

FetLife: _f1ora

https://x.com/_f1ora

https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/163305/miss-kelley-may

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Think you could handle working in a professional dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Mistress Verna for Part 2 of our behind-the-scenes look at life as retired dominatrixes. We’re digging into how this work helped us explore and define our sexuality, the boundaries we had to build to stay safe, and the trust it took to thrive in a job built on power exchange.

We swap stories about some of our most unforgettable clients, what we learned about ourselves through this work, and whether we’d actually recommend dungeon life to someone curious about going pro. Spoiler alert: it’s not for the faint of heart, but it definitely gave us tools we still use to this day.

Tune in to hear what it really takes to be a pro dom, beyond the latex and fantasy,  and why this career path changed how we see sex, power, and ourselves.

Episode Highlights: 

02:34 Learning and Growth in the Dungeon

10:30 Unique Client Stories and Advice

21:55 Unusual Requests and Experiences

24:59 Building Friendships and Skills

30:59 Reflections on Being a Dominatrix

37:17 Advice for Aspiring Dominatrixes

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Join The Kinky Book Club: 

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What really goes on behind the velvet curtain of a New York City dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I catch up with my longtime friend and former dungeon-mate Mistress Verna to spill the tea on our years working as professional dominatrixes in one of the city's most infamous kink spaces.

We get into everything they don't show you in the movies — the hazing rituals, the gossip, the client mind games, the surprise police visits, and the unspoken rules that ran the place. We also talk about the real stuff: the power dynamics, the politics, and how we built safety, sisterhood, and strategy in a space that was chaotic at best and dangerous at worst.

Tune in to find out what really goes down in a professional dungeon and why being a pro dom isn't just about fantasy. It's about finesse, boundaries, and knowing exactly who’s in charge.

Episode Highlights: 

00:51 The Reality of Working at the Dungeon

14:49 Client Interactions and Techniques

22:18 Reflecting on Client Dynamics

25:34 Client Lies and Secrets

27:08 Sex Rules and Gossip

31:01 Raids and Safety Protocols

36:37 Journalist Incident

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Join The Kinky Book Club: 

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Why is it so hard to talk about sex, even with people we trust? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Tess and Kels, co-founders of Squirm and co-hosts of the Porn Nerds podcast, to explore how we can make sex ed not just informative but also sexy, playful, and actually useful.

We dive into their journey from coworkers to creative collaborators, their mission to destigmatize conversations about porn and desire, and how they built Squirm as a space where adult sex ed meets humor, eroticism, and real communication. From their audio course Oral Hygiene to their Get Squirmy card deck and live events, Tess and Kels are helping people go beyond shame and speak about sex with clarity, confidence, and creativity.

Whether you’ve struggled to talk about what turns you on, want to bring more curiosity into your kink conversations, or simply wish porn had a better PR team, this episode will expand your vocabulary, your imagination, and your confidence in navigating communication around sex, BDSM, and desire.

Get 20% off of the Get Squirmy Conversation Deck when you use the code: KINKCONSULTANT

https://www.getsquirmy.com/product-page/get-squirmy

Episode Highlights: 

03:45 Introducing Squirm: Sex Ed for Adults

06:32 The Concept of Sexy Sex Ed

17:23 The Role of Porn in Sex Education

21:52 Contextualizing Media and Reality

25:20 Porn as a Tool for Sexual Exploration

27:06 Navigating Sexual Communication

36:45 Exploring the Get Squirmy Events

Connect with Tess and Kels 

https://linktr.ee/squirm

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others.

We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent to the surface in ways that most relationships suppress. Aubrey shares why kink can serve as a relational laboratory, how cultural scripts influence our nervous systems, and what it means to move through the world with curiosity and care. We also dive into shadow work, language around needs, and how we unlearn what no longer protects us.

Whether you're navigating kink, reflecting on past patterns, or rethinking how you build safety with others, this conversation is a powerful starting point. You’ll walk away with deeper insight into your own relational wiring and why safety is about more than just feeling comfortable.

Episode Highlights: 

02:40 Power Dynamics in Relationships

06:32 Attachment Styles and Safety

11:58 Language and Communication in Relationships

15:26 Somatic Psychology and Healing

18:07 Exploring EMDR Therapy

22:12 Unlearning and Healing

Connect with Aubrey

http://www.aubreyaust.com/

https://instagram.com/aubrey__aust

https://www.linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174/

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Join The Kinky Book Club: 

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Ever wondered what it’s like to be the face and body on the cover of your favorite romance novel? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with real-life couple Jose and Andrea (aka Mama) to talk about what it’s like to build a modeling career out of smut, how kink became part of their dynamic, and the power of being seen, desired, and fully expressed.

We dive into how Mama helped launch Jose’s modeling and acting career, what it means to embody fantasy for an audience while staying grounded in real-life connection, and how kink helped deepen their intimacy after decades together. From daddy/little dynamics to caretaking, long-distance journaling, and the gift of growing older while still exploring, this conversation is equal parts sexy, sweet, and deeply affirming.

Whether you’ve ever dreamed of being on a book cover, or you’re just curious what it’s like behind the scenes of a real-life smut model relationship, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights: 

01:01 From Childhood Friends to Lifelong Partners

05:53 Transitioning from Military to Modeling

12:02 Exploring Romance Novels Together

14:31 Opening Up About Desires

21:59 Navigating Book Conventions

32:35 Balancing Personal and Couple Growth

36:10 Jose's Journey into Acting

39:45 Advice for Aspiring Cover Models

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Join The Kinky Book Club: 

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a professional dom and pleasure coach sits down to unpack the psychology of kink, power, and pleasure?

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by the brilliant Sir Marvelous, a pro dom, educator, and content creator who's on a mission to make BDSM more accessible, intentional, and deeply satisfying. From his early journey with sex toys to his current work guiding individuals and couples through personalized kinky experiences, this conversation is full of both fire and insight.

We talk about everything from the difference between dominance and leadership, to the importance of safe, ongoing negotiation in kink sessions. Sir Marvelous shares his thoughts on why BDSM isn’t just about play. It’s about learning, evolving, and closing the pleasure gap through communication. We dive into topics like edging, mind play, denial, why submission doesn’t mean weakness, and how even a simple sex toy changed the trajectory of his life (shoutout to that random man outside the NYC sex shop!). He also opens up about his teaching philosophy, the role of ego in intimacy, and the importance of making space for joy, curiosity, and mutual exploration.

If you’ve ever been curious about what it’s like to hire a pro dom, how to introduce kink to your relationship, or why pleasure is something worth investing in, this episode is packed with truth bombs and transformative takeaways. Tune in and discover how BDSM can be a path to connection—not just in the bedroom, but in life.

Episode Highlights: 

01:27 Understanding Pro Dom and Pleasure Coach

10:17 The Importance of Continuous Learning in Kink

17:20 Empowering Women Through Sexual Liberation

19:39 Shifting Preferences in Adult Content

25:32 Discovering Kink

31:06 The Importance of Communication in BDSM

Connect with Sir Marvelous

https://www.sirmarvelous.com/

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

My favorite kink singer-songwriter needs our help. Deore, the incredible artist behind the Brat EP, is back and this time, she’s gearing up to release a full-length concept album called Tantrums. But in true brat fashion, she’s doing it her way: no label, no safety net, and fully trusting her kinky, ride-or-die community to bring it to life.

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, we talk about what it means to quit your job, follow your creative calling, and make music that actually reflects the reality of kink. Deore opens up about writing Tantrums from scratch, navigating service sub dynamics while in creative mode, and the very bratty legal battle over a coffee ban that had all of Instagram in stitches. We also get into how kink shows up in her relationship, how her Dom evolved alongside her, and why the idea of “ready-made” Doms is a myth.

If you’e also craving for more kinky music or just want to support someone making wildly accurate, emotionally raw bangers about submission, dominance, and desire, this is the episode (and the crowdfund) to show up for. Head to Indiegogo and search Tantrums to support the album before time runs out.

Support The Album Here: 

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/tantrums-a-kinky-concept-album#/

Connect with Deore: 

https://www.instagram.com/deorebby/

Episode Highlights: 

01:44 The Journey of Creating the Brat Album

09:20 The Kink Council and Coffee Ban Saga

21:11 Challenges in Music Production

21:42 Overcoming Vulnerability and Trust Issues

24:18 Crowdfunding and Community Support

26:31 Kink and Relationship Dynamics

28:52 The Role of Media in Kink Exploration

34:39 Upcoming Album and Crowdfunding Details

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here: 

• https://www.complicatedpleasures.ca

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a self-proclaimed vanilla romance lover brings a spicy book to The Kink Consultant for a breakdown?

In this episode, I’m joined by Brenda (my Bizdom) and Tish (my podcast editor and first-time guest) as we kick off the official Kink Consultant Book Club with a deep dive into The Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, plus a quick update on my own dating life. I share my take on the book through the lens of a kink consultant and why the story felt a little too close to home. Because while we were reading about a dom who disappears for days and a sub who doesn’t speak up for what she needs, I was ending a real-life relationship that unraveled for the exact same reason: lack of communication. The timing couldn’t have been more aligned.

We explore the difference between fantasy and functional dynamics, how kink is portrayed in books versus how it plays out in real life, and why honest communication will always be hotter than skipping straight to the sex.

If you’ve ever read a spicy scene and thought, “Wait… is this how it actually works?” or you’re curious about how kink and power exchange show up beyond the page, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights: 

04:21 Discussing 'The Deep End' by Ali Hazelwood

11:01 Amanda's Relationship Update

15:09 Navigating Kink and Communication in Relationships

19:03 Cultural Differences in Communication

20:44 The Importance of Communication in Kink

25:32 Sexual vs. Non-Sexual Kinks

30:29 Fantasy vs. Reality in Kink

35:29 Final Thoughts on 'The Deep End'

36:32 Join the Kink Consultant Book Club

Join the Book Club: 

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Read Deep End by Ali Hazelwood: 

https://amzn.to/43PFYiY

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Is it possible to find a partner that matches your freak? In Part 2 of my conversation with Kai and Sarah, we dig into what it really looks like to build a relationship around a shared spanking fetish, emotional compatibility, and a power exchange dynamic that works in real life, not just in fantasy.

We explore how their connection evolved from long-distance play partners to a deeply aligned partnership, the structure behind their domestic discipline, and the rituals and rules that support their relationship. They also share how they navigate playing with others, how punishment shows up beyond spanking, and what happens when things don’t go as planned in a scene.

Whether you're dreaming of a dynamic like theirs, navigating kink in your own relationship, or simply curious about how this can look in real life, this episode offers insight, nuance, and a reminder that there is no one way to build something meaningful, just your way.

Episode Highlights: 

03:48 Building a Relationship with Power Exchange

15:27 Daily Rituals and Alternative Punishments

21:47 Struggles and Acceptance of Spanking Desires

23:57 The Depth of Kinky Relationships

34:16 The Importance of Community

39:27 Rules and Consequences in Spanko Dynamics

44:46 Advice for Newcomers

46:42 Future Projects and Normalizing Fetishes

Read Kai’s Writings About Spanking: 

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/12433740

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/11441429

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/6366955

  
  

Connect with Kai and Sarah

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline

• https://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 

  
  

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here: 

• https://www.complicatedpleasures.ca

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.