Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay 

In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way.

Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame.

If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure.

Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd

Episode Highlights: 

(00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born

(09:00) The Stories Behind the Book

(18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure

(23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships

(35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and Confession

Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠

Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: 

https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think.

In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure.

We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap

12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink

19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy

21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence

24:41 Personal Kink Journeys

28:54 Normalizing Kink and Communication

Pre-Order her book here: 

​​https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guide

Connect with Cate: 

https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/

https://catieosaurus.com

Connect with Me: 

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Let’s take kink to the high seas! 

Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken?

In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding.

Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits.

If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities

07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity

19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships

22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships

24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment

32:11 Resources for Healing and Support

Connect with Lauren: 

https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contact

https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarusso

Connect with Me: 

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Episode 56 - For Beau Delacroix, kink isn’t just play. It’s art, storytelling, and self-expression.

In this episode, I go behind the scenes with Beau to talk about how creativity and control come together in his work as a Dom, content creator, and artist. From filming erotic stories to crafting toys by hand, Beau shares how intention, aesthetics, and vulnerability shape every scene he creates.

We talk about the balance between dominance and empathy, how to lead with emotional intelligence, and what it means to create art that feels both erotic and human. Beau also opens up about masculinity, shame, and why letting go of perfection is often the most liberating part of creation both in kink and in life.

If you’ve ever been curious about the artistry behind BDSM or how creators like Beau turn fantasy into something real, this episode is your invitation to step behind the curtain.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Journey into Content Creation

20:46 Living Openly and Embracing Kink

22:59 Navigating Kink Dynamics in Relationships

27:07 Teaching Kink to Long-Term Partners

30:44 Crafting and Sharing Kink Implements

33:34 Balancing Control in Kink and Personal Life

40:08 Finding Kinky Partners in the Modern Dating World

Connect with Beau:

https://www.instagram.com/beau_delacroix/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beau_delacroix

https://onlyfans.com/artoforgasm

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.

Episode 56 - In this episode, I sit down with my friend Aubrey Aust, a relational psychology and philosophy researcher from NYU, to unpack the psychology behind BDSM, fantasy, and desire. We talk about how kink can become a space for healing, a “relational laboratory” for exploring trust, safety, and selfhood.

Aubrey and I go deep on Freud, daddy issues, jealousy, and why honesty about desire is non-negotiable. We explore how shame can block intimacy, what embodiment really feels like, and how the dynamics of dominance and submission mirror our earliest emotional patterns. Whether you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just curious about the psychology behind play, this conversation will have you thinking about kink in a whole new way.

Episode Highlights: 

(00:00) Exploring Fantasy and Desire Through BDSM

(02:45) Revisiting Freud and Modern Sexual Psychology

(10:45) The Power of Honesty in Desire and Connection

(15:00) Working With Kinky and Non-Kinky Partners

(21:00) Embodiment, Boundaries, and Somatic Awareness

(29:00) Can Kink Be Therapeutic?

(34:00) Relational Energy and Co-Regulation

 Check out Lube Life's ultra slick, thick silicone lube!

Connect with Aubrey Aust

https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.

Episode 55 - Let’s talk about back door play, the kind of pleasure that deserves way more hype (and way less shame).

In this episode, I sit down with Annette Benedetti, host of Talk Sex with Annette and certified sex and intimacy coach, to unpack everything you’ve ever wanted to know about exploring the back door. We get into how to prepare, what to expect, and how to make it fun, safe, and insanely pleasurable for everyone involved.

Annette shares her real-life guide; from her favorite toys and plugs to lube tips, comfort positions, and how to talk about it without awkwardness. We also discuss why communication and consent are the ultimate turn-ons, how to handle nerves (and mess), and why curiosity should always come before shame.

If you’ve ever been curious about trying backdoor play but weren’t sure where to start, this episode gives you all the confidence, info, and laughter you need to make it your new favorite adventure.

Episode Highlights

(00:00) The Myth of Virginity and the Power of Experience

(12:00) Exploring the Backdoor: Tips, Prep, and Cleanliness

(18:00) Backdoor Toys, Training Kits, and Plug Preferences

(29:00) Safety Tips, Hygiene, and Aftercare

(32:00) Understanding Partners, Boundaries, and Communication

(38:00) Breaking Shame and Making Pleasure Normal

Connect with Annette: 

https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/

www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette

talksexwithannette.com/shop-with-annette

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.

Episode 54 - In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean, to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community.

Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs.

If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen).

Episode Highlights

(00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections

(10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation

(20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange

(33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play

(39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts

(41:00) Why This Is Perfect for Beginners

Join the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking!

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.

Episode 53 - In this episode, I sit down with Shelby Devlin, Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, BDSM educator, and author of The Pleasure Protocol, to talk about her journey from working at a San Francisco fetish boutique to becoming one of the most respected BDSM coaches in the field. We talk about Barbie bondage beginnings, the psychology of power, and why shame-free exploration is the gateway to pleasure that actually lasts.

If you’ve ever wanted to understand how BDSM can become a path toward self-awareness, healing, and deeper connection, this conversation is for you.

Episode Highlights: 

(00:00) Barbie Bondage and Early Curiosity

(12:00) How Somatica Training Changed Everything

(18:00) Combining Somatic Touch and BDSM Coaching

(23:00) Healing Shame and Building Safety Through Play

(38:00) Communication, Consent, and Aftercare 101

Connect with Shelby

https://www.shelbydevlin.com/bio

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/

In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way.

Kathy and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame.

If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure.

Episode Highlights: 

(00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born

(09:00) The Stories Behind the Book

(18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure

(23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships

(35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and Confession

Get A Copy of the Book: https://tinyurl.com/43jpfsdh

Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/

Join My Kinky Book Club: https://www.amandadames.com/bookclub

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Keywords: 

true anonymous sex stories, real people sex confessions, what is the strictly anonymous podcast, secret sex lives book review, sexual fantasies people don’t talk about, how to explore hidden desires, best podcasts about sex and relationships, strictly anonymous podcast, kathy kay, secret sex confessions, sex confession stories, anonymous sex stories, true sex stories podcast, erotic confessions, sexual fantasies, sex podcast for women, bdsm stories, open relationship podcast, swinger stories, real life sex stories, kinky podcast interviews, the kink consultant, amanda dames, kink podcast, sexual positivity podcast, bdsm podcast, relationship podcast

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/

Episode 52 - What happens when your relationship is built on trust, power exchange, and pushing limits together?

In this episode, I sit down with Lucas and Hazel of Ripped Digital to talk about what it really takes to live and create on the more extreme side of BDSM. From navigating risk and safety in hardcore play to building a 24/7 power exchange dynamic, Lucas and Hazel share openly about their relationship, their porn production, and why empathy and trust are at the heart of everything they do.

We dive into what it means to eroticize shame, how fantasies differ from reality, why safety tools like negotiation checklists and aftercare rituals matter, and how they’ve turned their personal kinks into a professional life that still feels authentic. If you’ve ever wanted to understand what happens behind the scenes of extreme kink content or how couples can thrive while exploring the edges of BDSM,  this is one you won’t want to miss.

Episode Highlights: 

(00:00) Risk Awareness, Safety, and Harm Reduction

(06:00) Negotiation, Trust, and First-Time Scenes

(12:00) Eroticizing Shame and Exploring Taboo Fantasies

(21:00) Aligning Public and Private Kink Identities

(30:00) Sadism, Empathy, and Keeping Power in Check

(41:00) Why Authentic Headspace Matters More than Scripted Porn

(47:00) Cinematic Fantasies and Bucket List Scenes

(53:00) Creating Content that Feels Real and Experiential

Connect with Hazel and Lucas 

⁠https://ripped.digital/scenes/Home-Movies-Lucas-and-his-little_vids.html⁠

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠

• ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

⁠https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1⁠