Warning, this podcast includes words and phrases presented by a New Zealander. Please be aware that the use of an accent will be heard throughout the episode, viewer discretion is advised. Beyond that, we are overjoyed and excited to welcome back our favorite Kiwi in the whole world, Waffles!

Waffles may be one of our biggest fans, but that does not mean we know a lot about their homeland. Well Jeff might, he did visit their when he was much younger and had 100% less children than he does now. So, in honor of our guest, I am going to make up facts about New Zealand based on basic internet research and comedy.

First off, did you know that New Zealand is known for it's biodiversity? Sure, may have heard about the Haast's eagle and moa, as well as the strange little flightless bird whose name I cannot remember...but there are a whole bunch of other animals that you can only find on or around these islands. I have also heard that you can find Hobbits and Elves there too.

Science and technology in New Zealand is apparently a thing. According to my history books I thought it all happened in Greece or the United States, but apparently there are other places where people are smart. Ernest Rutherford split the atom, Beatrice Tinsley is known for studying galaxy formations, and the Māori people have been recognized for early indigenous contributions to science. Makes me feel really inadequate for getting an F when I brought a 9 Volt battery and steel wool to the science fair.

In the area of monster creation, New Zealand is a pioneer. What with WETA workshops, Black Sheep, and Peter Jackson. I mean....were-sheep, need we say more. Between that and some of the wildlife we mentioned above, this place is just a nightmare waiting to attack you. I even heard that they have gigantic killer cats that roam houses at night, stealing waffles. Or, that could be a rumor I just started.

The New Zealand cricket team, nicknamed Black Caps, is world famous. They do amazing things whenever they show up to do sport. Many fans come to watch them play live, or sometimes on TV. They really are very good and everybody....OK, look...I do not understand cricket as a game of concept and do not understand any of the words on this Wikipedia page. I try to fake it when I can, but sometimes this is what you get.

Human cloning also occurs in New Zealand. Actually, it occurs all over the world and nobody talks about it because of "the man", but we all know. The leading facility for cloning is located in a secret bunker in Christchurch, just below the Botanic Gardens. The facility produces two thousand clones a year, quietly shipping them out as bearded American tourists. This facility has brought much needed income to the area.....Wait a minute, the Wikipedia page I was citing this information from was just changed to talk about New Zealand's climate. Well, it was still probably true.

Giantism is a condition that can occur in people born in New Zealand. Many have said that it is has occurred as a result of the Māori tradition of cooking food over heated rocks that have been irradiated by gamma radiation, but the science is inconclusive and mostly confined to a comic book that I have just started to draw with crayons. Needless to say, the food is very tasty and everyone should eat a pavolva a day.

Now, I have been informed that my "facts" are "wrong" and that I may have "offended" some people with my "dumb" "and" "innovative" material "or" use of "the" "internet". "Some" people are "also" complaining that "I" may not "be" using or "over"using ""quotes" (or as "I" like to call "them" hanging coupled comas) incorrectly. "Whatever"!

In closing, please consider adopting a New Zealander, they are just looking for a little bit of love in this crazy world. And listen to Waffles on his podcast: Waffles and Mates Talk About Things.

Check out the art we highlighted at our website: https://jeffandrickpresent.wordpress.com/2023/12/03/avengers-academy-23-second-chances/

We also have some merchandise over at Redbubble. We have a couple of nifty shirts for sale. https://www.redbubble.com/people/jeffrickpresent/?asc=u

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