This week, Joe and Reese embark on a heroic yet completely unnecessary quest to calculate square footage for a listener’s carpet purchase. Turns out, neither of them remembers how math works. Joe discovers that square feet have nothing to do with actually squaring numbers, while Reese insists he can solve everything by rounding up (which is great if you want to carpet your entire neighborhood). Along the way, they discuss the joys of sleeping in an icebox, the philosophical implications of capers, and Reese’s brief yet tragic three-day sobriety stint. It’s an hour of pure, unfiltered nonsense—and for some reason, you people keep coming back for more. We hope you hate it. 

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Good Eats: beefaro