Congrats on not killing yourself! It's my birthday and I'm smoking a doobs during this episode while I tell you about eating a dick in front of Robin Wright, the most cringeworthy bomb of my stand-up jOuRnEy, Fuckboi Theater, and then to make up for the disappointment that Fuckbois can often evoke, I read some beautifully crafted, well thought-out words from professional poets.. Thank you to Russian Standard for supplying all the liquor for my birthday party I APPRECIATE YOU. 

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