This week on The Local News, the guys report on a man who paddle-boarded across the Hudson River, a Russian Burger King that will pay women to get impregnated by foreign soccer players, a man who stole toes from a dead body in a museum, a "Local Hero" who saved a frog from a snake, and a "Local Sex" story about a couple of firefighters who made a sex tape!

Give the podcast a 5-star review on iTunes, follow everybody on TWITTER @tommyjohnagin, @alexstonecomedy, and @Localnewspod, and in the words of the great Tommy Johnagin: You're food until you're shit!