On this episode of The Sofa King Podcast, we travel back in time and look at the life, loves, and conquests of one of the biggest bad-asses in all of human history, Julius Caesar. Caesar was born to an aristocratic family that was on the decline. But he was smart and of the right pedigree, so at least he had a chance to rise to power, and rise to power he did.

He started by marrying up. He got with a number of women who were above his station, one of them even as powerful as the granddaughter of Roman Emperor, Sulla. This move pissed the emperor off, so Caesar had to join the army and get the hell away. While off at war, he became an even bigger badass, proving himself a master of tactics and diplomacy.

When he finally returned, he started to rapidly climb up the ranks of Roman political society. Part of this meant the ability to raise armies and collect loot, and he did this too. After many years, he finally had the backing of two other major players in Rome, and they formed a group called the Triumvirate, which ruled the nation. His partners were Marcus Licinius Crassus and Pompey. Crassus was the wealthiest man in Rome, and Pompey was another experience general.

In this set up, Caesar fights and wins the Gallic Wars, and his telling of the tactics and battle are still considered one of the all-time greats of Western writing. However, eventually, his ally Crassus was killed, and his financial backing was lost to Caesar. From there, he and Pompey got into what was essentially a civil war for control of Rome. This war led to major moments in Roman history, such as Caesar’s crossing of the Rubicon.

It also leads to him chasing Pompey all the way to Egypt where Julius Caesar falls in love with Cleopatra. Why was Caesar so popular among the people but hated by the senate? What led to his getting murdered on the floor of the senate? What happened when Caesar was captured by pirates? What ever came of the love child that was spawned from the love of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar? What’s up with the pickles? Listen, laugh, learn.